


Time To Say Goodbye

by ditzybea



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: Childhood Friends, Eventual Happy Ending, Family Drama, Feelings Realization, Fights, Heavy Angst, M/M, Meaningless Sex, Pining, Secrets, Slow Build, Third Act Twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-02-08 07:28:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 47
Words: 130,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12859716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ditzybea/pseuds/ditzybea
Summary: A/U - Set after the 1/29/10 Show.Due to a request by Dr. Oliver, Noah has decided that he and Luke cannot be together anymore.How does Luke react? What will he do? What will it do to him?What will Noah do when Luke is really gone?And how does Reid fit into all of this?Nuke/Luke/Noah & Lure





	1. The Break Up

**Author's Note:**

> This story uses the 1/29/10 show where Noah breaks up with Luke and veers away from canon. This was how I thought the triangle of Luke/Noah/Reid could have gone. This is the longest story I have ever written and has a surprise around chapter 36.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is a roller-coaster.  
> If you embark on this journey, you will get put through the wringer. This story is told mostly from Luke's POV and is really about him more than either couple. I promise that Nuke-fans and Lure-fans will be happy by the ending, just trust me and enjoy the story.
> 
> Enjoy and Stay Tuned for updates.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, we have to stay away from each other starting right now," Noah said; not even turning in Luke's direction. Luke felt like he had been kicked in the stomach. Where was he supposed to go with this? He ran his hand through the hair at the base of his neck. "Luke? Are you there?"

"Yeah. I heard you. Um...I'm, ah, I'm gonna check on my mom. I'm happy for you, really. I'll ah, nevermind," Luke said in an almost shaky voice. He had to get out of there. He turned and walked towards his mom's room. Leaving Noah standing in the hallway. Noah heard Luke's steps as he walked away and breathed a sigh of relief. Luke had left without too much of a fight. The next sound he heard was Maddie coming up behind him.

"Noah?"

"Maddie?"  He turned towards her voice.

"Are you ready to go home?" Maddie asked as she put her hand on Noah's arm. Noah felt a pang in his chest after Luke walked away. He knew that this would be hard for Luke, but what else was he supposed to do? This was the only way that Dr. Reid would agree to do the surgery. What other choice could he make?

"Yeah, but can we go somewhere for a little while? I don't know, Al's or Java,"

"Ah, sure. I can always use a good caffeine fix," Maddie said cheerfully and they walked towards the elevators.

* * *

Luke took a deep breath and then entered his mom's hospital room. He didn't want her to see that he was upset about Noah. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to be right now. Should he be hurt that Noah was breaking up with him again? Or should he be furious with Dr. Reid for inserting himself into his relationship with Noah? He realized now, whether he liked it or not, he and Noah were over. As he sat down next to his sleeping mother he had a sad realization, did he care?

Luke slipped his hand into his mom's and lightly squeezed it. He suddenly felt very lost. Lily stirred slightly and opened her eyes. She turned her head and saw her oldest son sitting next to her. The genuine smile she wore helped break up some of Luke's sadness.

"Hey mom,"

"Hi sweetheart. What are you doing here?"

"Dad called me and told me you were here. Are you ok?"

"Yeah," she said as she started to sit up. Luke got to his feet and helped her. "I fell and hit my head when Damian ran from the house,"

"Yeah, he left Oakdale. He left me Grimaldi Shipping,"

"He what?"

"Yeah. He told me that he was leaving and that he didn't know when he'd see me again. Mom, what happened?" She looked up and saw tears coming from her son's eyes. She knew that he and Damian had grown quite close in the past year. On some level she was glad for it. He was able to meet the man that she fell in love with, but that wasn't the real Damian. The real Damian had finally made himself known in the last few months. She was glad that Luke did not have to see that.

"Oh honey," Lily said as she brushed Luke bangs out of his face. And she told him. She told him everything that Damian had done. From hiding the fact that Holden was alive to making it appear that Meg was trying to hurt Damian. That Damian tried to get Lily to leave him by threatening Holden. She tried to break all of this to him as softly as he could. Luke was bound to find out and she didn't want him to find out from someone else.

Luke felt like all of the air was rushing out of his body, like he was drowning. He didn't know what was up or down anymore. Everything he knew right now was wrong. A nurse came in and started to check Lily's vitals.

"I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over,"

"OK. Um, I'll see you later ok mom,"

"I'll be fine. They're just keeping overnight as a precaution,"

"Ok, talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Night baby," Lily said as Luke leaned forward and gave his mom a kiss on the cheek. He got up and walked into the hallway. How could this day get any worse? He was about to find out.

* * *

 

Luke zipped his coat up and started to walk through the hospital lobby. He was almost to the door when he heard someone call him by name. He knew that voice. He stopped and let out a breath in frustration while he closed his eyes. He felt like he was about to witness his own execution.

"Mr. Snyder. Looking for me again?" Dr. Oliver said as he pulled his own jacket on.

"For your information I wasn't. I was not looking for you or wanting to. Just so you know, not everything in my life revolves around you. If you need to know, I was just visiting my mom; she's up on the fourth floor. Now I am going to go and you won't see me anymore,"

"What's wrong with her?" he asked with actual concern.

"What do you care?" Luke said quickly and turned to walk away.

"Oh, don't run on my account," Reid teased.  He just loved baiting Luke Snyder; it kept him sharp. 

But Luke was done!

"Oh, I'm not! I'm doing it for Noah. That's what you wanted isn't? Noah broke up with me. Just, just take good care of him. Please," Luke said and finally left without turning to look back at Reid. Reid stood in the door and watched Luke pull his coat closer to his body while he walked to his car. Luke sat for a minute or two before he started his car and turned to go home. Reid watched him drive away and felt a small twinge of regret. He looked so defeated, not like the guy he met a few days before. Reid closed up his own jacket and walked to where a cab was waiting.

* * *

Luke walked into the house and saw how empty it seemed. There wasn't the usual hustle and bustle that was typical of a Snyder house. No kids running around, no abandoned TV playing somewhere, no one in the kitchen making a snack. The house just seemed different, almost sad. Luke had to make sure that he had his stuff and was out before Noah got back.

He quickly ran upstairs, taking them two at a time, and into his bedroom. He reached into the closet and grabbed his duffle bag. Luke grabbed some jeans and t-shirts, he made sure he grabbed a few sweatshirts and some stuff from his bathroom. He brought his bag downstairs, grabbed some foundation paperwork from coffee table and slid that into his bag. He was almost out the door when he realized that he didn't have his laptop. He checked the dining table, the kitchen, and the den. It was nowhere to be found. He left his bag on the chair and ran back upstairs to check his room again.

Noah opened the door and Maddie followed in behind him. She helped him hang up his coat and they settled in on the couch.

"Was there anything else you needed? Are you ok by yourself? I really need to get back to "First Edition". I have to update my vlog tonight,"

"No, Maddie. You can go. Thanks for everything today. I really appreciate it,"

"Whatever you need you know that," she said as she gave Noah a quick peck on the cheek. Luke stood just inside the hall and watched them. He wasn't eavesdropping; he just wanted to sneak out of the house without seeing anyone. It hurt him to see Noah and Maddie so close, considering him and Luke weren't anything anymore. He watched Maddie leave and waited a minute, maybe he could slip out without Noah knowing it. He watched Noah lean back into the couch and set his cane aside. He looked like he was going to go to sleep.

Luke held his laptop close to him and softly walked toward the chair. If it wasn't for unfortunate floor board, he might have gotten out. His step squeaked and revealed that he was there. Luke winced as if the board hurt him in some way. Noah sat up quick and turned slightly on the couch.

"Hello? Is someone there?" Noah asked. Luke couldn't hide now.

"It's just me,"

"Luke what are you doing?" Noah asked as he stood up. Luke was sure he detected annoyance in Noah's voice.  He turned towards Luke and Luke did not look up. He didn't want to look at him right now. He might just start to cry.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna be out of here in a minute. I just forgot my laptop,"

"What?"

"Well, that's what you wanted, isn't? Me out of your way,"

"Luke I never said...."

"You said that we needed to stay away from each other from now on. That's what I'm doing," still not looking at Noah. He shoved his laptop into his bag and went for his coat.

"Luke, you don't have to leave,"

"Really! Let's face it Noah, you've wanted me gone for quite awhile and I really can't be here anymore," Luke's voice was cracking, he was fighting the need to cry. "I finally got it. We're done,"

"Luke! Where are you going to go?" Noah asked. He heard Luke let out slight laugh.

"What does it matter?" Luke answered in a quiet voice and slammed the door. Noah couldn't move. He had been telling Luke for months to leave him alone and stop trying to control everything. He wanted Luke to just leave him alone.

Well, he got his wish.

And he suddenly felt much worse.


	2. StarDancer

Luke pulled up in front of his grandma's house and put his car in park. He wanted to sit in the driver's seat for a few minutes before he got out. He leaned back against the head rest and let out a long breath. He had to calm himself down before he walked into the house. He could feel the tears wanting to come out, but he didn't want to talk to anyone about it. He just wanted to get in and up to his room. Luke took another breath and pulled himself out of the car. He gathered his bag and walked into the farm house.

The house was relatively quiet. He could hear Ethan's jellyfish show playing in the parlor and the washer and dryer were whirling just off the kitchen. Grandma was baking something sweet and the aroma was filling the whole house. Luke put his bag up on the table and opened the fridge. He looked about the contents and reached inside. He took a beer out and held it. He turned the bottle in his hand and looked at the amber liquid moving under the brown glass. Luke could feel his mouth watering at the thought of it. Just one bottle, one bottle and it would be so much better. Luke put the bottle back and grabbed a bottle of water instead.

The soft sound of feet on the floor caught his attention. Luke looked over his shoulder and saw Natalie standing by the table.

"Are you staying here now?"

"Yeah, sweetie. Is that ok?" Luke asked as he gave her side glance. Natalie nodded quickly in response with that sweet Natalie smile. "Come here," Luke gestured for her to come closer. Natalie walked to him and Luke picked her up. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rested her head against his. Luke wrapped both arms around her middle and her legs wrapped around his waist.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah. I just needed a hug today, that's all," Luke said and Natalie squeezed him even tighter. Luke smiled and gave Natalie a kiss on the cheek. He put her back to her feet and went to get his bag. "I'm gonna go to bed, if anyone asks, ok?" he asked with a wink.

Natalie nodded again and watched her big brother walk upstairs. She grabbed a couple cookies from the cookie jar and went back into the parlor. She was glad he was here. Now that he was staying here, she hoped that Noah would be coming over more too.

Luke shut the bedroom door and dropped his bag by the door. He felt like he'd just run a marathon. His entire body was worn out. He didn't change out of his clothes before he laid down on his bed. Collapsed was more like it. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling.

What else could possibly happen today?

What else could be piled onto today?

First, Damian leaves for God knows how long after they had managed to mend their fractured relationship. He also gives him a multi-country corporation to run by himself. Second, he finds out that his mom is at the hospital. After arriving at the hospital, he finds out that his boyfriend wants nothing to do with him anymore. Then, his mom tells him everything that his father had been doing the whole time that he was living in Oakdale.

His heart was broken, then crushed, then mashed, and then pulverized for good measure.

God he wanted a drink so bad!

* * *

Noah listened to the house and hated how quiet it was. Lily was still at the hospital and he was sure that Holden was with her. The kids had been staying at the farm since Christmas. And now Luke was gone. Noah leaned back in the sofa and closed his eyes. Soaking in the quiet. When he first lost his sight all he wanted was quiet. Everything seemed so loud that quiet was all that he craved. Now that he had, but he wanted anything else. Something else.

He realized he really missed Luke. And he suddenly felt guilty. He had no right to feel this way. He pushed Luke away, but he needed to. What other choice did he have? He needed his eyesight back and this was only thing that stood in the way of that. Yes. It was something that he was willing to give up if it meant getting his vision back.

* * *

The next morning, Luke rolled over in bed. For a split second he couldn't remember where he was. After he saw the simple shades hanging on the windows and knew he was at the farm. Then in a second, everything that happened yesterday came flooding back. Damian, Dr. Oliver, and of course Noah. His heart actually hurt when he thought about Noah. If he was willing to sacrifice two and half years together, then Luke was not going to fight it. He just couldn't anymore; he didn't have any strength left. He felt like he had been fighting for their relationship for that whole time and if Noah was willing to just throw it all away; so was he.  Even if it hurt.

Luke pulled himself to his feet and ran his hands through his hair. He figured that he should eat something; even if he wasn't hungry. He could smell bacon and pancakes drifting up the stairs to his room. He went down the stairs and into the kitchen. The first person he saw was Grandma Emma. She was busy flipping pancakes and tending to the crisping bacon. Ethan and Natalie had syrup dripping off their fingers and their chins. Luke laughed lightly at them as he poured himself some coffee.

"Luke, sweetheart, you have to have more than that. Have a couple pancakes," Emma said as she handed Luke some pancakes and bacon on a plate. He knew better than to argue. He could fake eating for a little while. He sat down and started to eat with his little sister and brother. He actually had fun. He forgot how silly Ethan could be and how serious Natalie could get. He had fun just hanging out with them. He missed this. Missed his family. With all the drama with Noah and Damian lately, his family got pushed to the back burner.

Maybe this break-up was a good thing.

Help refocus on things that used to be important to him.

"Morning Luke," Holden said as he came into the house. He smelled of hay and earth; he had been doing morning chores. Emma took Ethan into the bathroom to help get the syrup out of his hair with Natalie helping her. Luke wondered if Emma had planned for him to be alone with Holden.

"Morning dad," Luke said back as he took a drink of his coffee. Holden poured himself some and sat down next to Luke at the table.

"So, are you going to tell me why you're here?"

"This is my home too. I can't stay here?" Luke immediately became defensive.

"I'm not saying that. What I'm asking is, why aren't at your mom's with Noah?"

"It's, it's nothing. Really. I just," Luke hesitated. He wanted to tell him, but he couldn't. "I just wanted to stay here, that's all. I'm going to go take a shower," Luke said as he quickly left the table and went upstairs. Ethan and Natalie then ran through the kitchen from the downstairs bathroom and went straight into the parlor. Emma entered the kitchen right after them and saw Holden sitting alone at the table. She saw the disappointed look on his face. She knew that look. She poured herself some coffee and sat with her youngest son.

"He wouldn't tell you what's wrong?"

"No. I don't blame him. Ever since I came back, we've been distant. It felt like he was choosing Damian over me. I know he never would, but I think that's why I wasn't there when he needed someone. He went to Damian and look what happened,"

"I think we may have all let Luke down, but you cannot blame yourself for what Damian did. He had everyone fooled. As long as Luke knows that you are here for him now," Emma stood had gave her son a peck on the cheek.

"Thanks mama,"

Luke came bounding downstairs with his grubby clothes on. Holden knew that outfit; Luke was going to do chores. He always did chores when he needed to think.

"I'm gonna go for a ride and then muck out StarDancer's stall,"

"Ok Luke. If you need to talk,"

"Thanks dad," Luke said dismissively and walked out into the cold winter air. The weather was see-sawing between cold and warm, but today was cold. He walked out into the stables and was immediately welcomed by the familiar smell of hay and dirt. This was one of those smells that reminded him of growing up; like the smell of pine and tinsel when he opened the Christmas decorations that reminded him of the holidays. He smiled lightly as he walked to StarDancer's stable and was welcomed by a very happy mare. StarDancer had been one of his favorite horses while he was growing up. He remembered the day that he and father were on one of those many trips to Kentucky. He was thirteen and his dad had finally agreed to let Luke pick out his new horse. When he saw StarDancer he knew that she was perfect. She was light cream color with chocolate freckles running along her body. Her mane was a dark blonde color, much like Luke's hair and her tail was the softest thing he had ever touched. She had dark circles around her eyes; Luke joked she always looked like she had eye liner on. That thought made him smile even more when she poked her head out to see him. Luke rubbed his forehead against hers and softly itched under her chin.

"Hey girl. How are you? I'm sorry that I haven't been around much. I've been busy, but how about we go for a ride today?" He gave her a kiss on her nose and she nudged him back. Luke laughed and grabbed some treats from the basket hanging next to her stall door. She chomped on her snacks while Luke started to ready her for a ride.

As soon as they left the relative warmth of the barn and trotted out into the pasture, Luke felt free. The cold air through his hair and the sound of the hoofs on the ground made a lot of his worries fall away. It was just him and StarDancer. They galloped through the pasture and onto the path that ran around the edge of the Snyder property. He could see his grandmother's house from the far end of the property and images of his parents came into his mind. His mom and dad sneaking to see each other and his dad running the distance between the two houses. It brought a smile to his face. That no matter what happened between the two of them; they always managed to come back to each other.

As Luke cleaned out StarDancer's stall, he thought about his parents again. About how hard they have had to work on their relationship; about how much his parents have suffered along the way and he came to another realization. Relationships should not be that hard. It seemed like all he and Noah did was fight to keep their relationship working. He knew that relationships were not easy, but they had to be easier than the last two and half years.

Yes, this break-up was a good thing.

Then why did his heart hurt so much when he breathed.

But it was a good thing; it had to be.


	3. Break Away

Luke finished cleaning out StarDancer's stall and was walking towards the house. His saw his mom's car parked near the porch and he was anxious to see if she was feeling better. He loudly entered the house and saw his mom sitting at the kitchen table with his dad. Without saying anything else, he stepped across the room and hugged her. He was so relieved that nothing bad had happened to her. Each time he thought about what Damian had done, he kept thinking that she could have been hurt much worse.

"Are you ok?" He asked as they pulled apart.

"Yes sweetie, I'm fine, really," she tried to reassure her oldest, but he was so much like his dad. He gave the look of "Ok, I believe you, but not quite,". She stepped back and then she smelled him. "UGH! I love you honey, but you smell like the barn."

Luke laughed out loud and took another step back.

"I'm going to go shower. I'll be back in a few minutes," he said as he bounded up the stairs.

Noah sat in the parlor and he could hear Luke the whole time he was in the kitchen. He heard the concern for his mom in his voice. He also heard the laugh that Lily got out of him. That laugh made his heart ache all the more. He hadn't heard Luke laugh in a long time. It was like hearing a favorite song on the radio that you hadn't listened to in a while. Hearing that song that you loved so much and you think, _"I need to listen to this more often."_ It made him miss Luke all the more.

It was Lily's idea to go to the farm to see the kids. Deep down Noah knew that Luke was probably there, but he made no effort to deter Lily. He wanted to be around Luke, but he didn't want to be selfish and seek Luke out. He had made his decision; he and Luke were apart and it would unfair to look for opportunities to be around Luke, but here he was anyway. Desperately hoping that Luke would seek him out.

Luke quickly showered and dressed. He came downstairs and into the kitchen. As he closed the door, he saw Noah sitting with his dad and mom. He had to swallow hard to pick from grasping onto him and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from saying anything. Noah knew he was there. He could smell Luke's cologne and shampoo as he entered the room. Noah took in a long breath as he was only ten feet away from him.

"Hey Luke, we were about to have lunch, are you hungry?" Holden asked as he poured some coffee for Lily and Noah.

"Huh? Ah no. Actually, I just forgot, I have to go," Luke said as he looked for his coat. He found his jacket among the mountain of cold weather coats and pulled it on.

"Why? What for?" Holden questioned.

"I, uh, forgot, I have a deadline on a proposal for the foundation. It's due on Monday," Luke tried to sounds convincing as he looked for his keys in his coat.

"I don't remember anything being due." Lily said.

"Yeah, you do. It is that grant we were applying for. Anyways, I better get going. I'll be home later tonight though. Bye," he said as he quickly left the house and got in his car. Noah could hear his car tires kicking up the dirt from the driveway as he peeled away from the house. Noah felt sick to his stomach. Luke rushed out of the house because he was there. Luke was avoiding his family now because Noah asked him to stay away from him.

Guilty. That one word didn't begin to cover how he felt right now.

* * *

Luke walked into the office at WorldWide and saw the light on in his grandmother's office. He smiled slightly to himself and walked into her office. She was sitting with her bare feet on desk and her glasses perched on the tip of her nose. She had Dean Martin playing from her computer and her lunch was sitting on the desk; untouched.

"Hello grandmother,"

"Hello darling. Why are you here on a Saturday?" She asked as she sat up and watched him flop down onto the sofa in her office.

"Why are you here?" He asked as he begun to flip through an old magazine sitting on her coffee table. His grandmother never had time to read for leisure so he was always surprised that she had magazines in her office. She had a small sofa and coffee table to help humanize her office; made her visitors relax a bit when they came in.

"Darling. I run a company, I live here. And you still didn't answer my question," she said and then walked around her desk and sat next to him. She could see in his eyes he was hurting.

"I ah, I had to leave the farm. Noah was there."

"I don't understand."

"I'm going to tell you something, but you have to promise not to tell anyone."

"I promise," she said and then leaned a bit closer to him. Luke let out a long breath and let it out. He had to tell someone. He needed to tell someone what was weighing down on his heart.

"Noah and I, we broke up."

"Oh honey. What happened?" She was lending him a shoulder to cry on. She had not seen a love like theirs in a long, well since she saw how much Lily loved Holden.

"It was something that Dr. Oliver said. He told Noah that he would operate on him, if I wasn't around anymore. So, Noah decided that we shouldn't see each other anymore," he finally let it all out. He felt his heart lighten slightly. Lucinda stood up and went to her desk. She reached for her phone register and started to flip through it. Luke followed her, watched as she picked up her phone and started to dial.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm calling the board at the hospital. What this Dr. Oliver did completely inappropriate," she said; Luke swore he could see steam coming from her ears. Luke pulled the receiver from her hand, hung it up, and grabbed her phone registry off her desk. He hid it behind his back and she looked at him in surprise. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"I didn't tell you so you would try to fix it. I just wanted to tell someone else," he turned and sat down on the sofa again. He tossed the register on the table and leaned back into the cushions.

"So, sweetheart. What can I do?" She said as she joined him again on the sofa.

"Nothing," he said as he looked at her; his eyes shining with unshed tears. "I'm fine, well, I will be fine. I realized that if Noah wants to throw away our relationship, then I won't fight it,"

"That doesn't sound like the Luke I know."

"I know, I just," he paused and bit on the inside of his lower lip. "I just don't have the strength to fight anymore. I just can't do it," his chin quivered as he tried not to cry. "I feel like I've been fighting for the last two years and I just can't anymore. I can't fight for this relationship by myself. If Noah wants to be apart, then that's what I'll give him," he said and he felt a few tears escape from his eyes and he quickly brushed them away. "I can't force him to stay with me."

Lucinda caressed his cheek and felt her heart hurt for him. Luke's heart was so big; he was willing to go without if that meant another was happy. She doubted greatly that Noah was happy right now, but Luke was willing to leave him because he asked him to.

"I have an idea. I think you need time to yourself," she said as she quickly got up and went to her desk. She grabbed her keys from her purse and gave him a set of keys from her ring. Luke looked down at the keys and knew what they were. He recognized the key chain that Natalie made for her at summer camp. They were the keys to her cabin.

"Grandmother, I don't need these," he responded and he extended his hand; trying to give them back. She shook her head and pushed his hand away.

"Marcus called this afternoon. It's open and cleaned. Just hang on to them. You may change your mind and decide you need time alone."

Luke realized at young age that, sometimes, it was easier to just go with it then to argue with Lucinda Walsh. He nodded and stuffed the keys into his pocket. He gave his grandmother a kiss on the cheek and left, but he couldn't go home yet. Noah may still be there. He decided to mill around town before he eventually went home.

* * *

He walked around Old Towne, which brought him to their bench. His mind flashed to all the moments they shared there. The times when they would just sit and be with each other. The kisses and loving glances that they shared. Luke feel the tears wanting to come out. He pushed the feelings away and walked to Al's. He left the house with just a little bit of breakfast and here it was almost 4pm. He walked in and the smell of grilling burgers made his stomach growl.

"Sounds like someone's hungry," Henry said as Luke sat at the counter.

"You heard that?" Luke asked and raised eyebrows were his answer. Luke cheeks were a little red and he pulled open a menu. He ordered a burger, fries, and a vanilla shake. While he waited for his food, Luke took the keys that his grandmother gave him and turned them in his hand. He didn't want to just up and leave, but maybe it was a good idea. He ate most of his food and then figured it was safe to make his way home.

* * *

He pulled his car into the driveway and saw that his mom's car was gone. He let out a sigh of relief and thought it was safe to go inside. The house was quiet. He could hear the TV on in the parlor. He looked out towards the barn and saw the lights were on. He hung up his coat and noticed the absence of little coats. The kids must have gone back to his mom's. He felt the keys in his pocket and decided his grandmother had a good idea. He just didn't want to be around people right now.

He walked into the parlor and saw his grandma sitting in front of the TV. Her knitting was on her lap and she had dozed off. He could hear faint snoring. He knew she snored, no matter how much she denied it. He smiled to himself and draped an afghan over her. She stirred slightly but stayed asleep. He turned off the TV and went up to his room. He repacked his bags and threw them in the back of his car. Luke walked out to the barn and looked for his dad. He walked through the barn and out to the exercise ring. He found his dad there. He was putting one of the new colts through some paces. He stood back and watched him. Luke always loved to watch his dad work. He had a command of the animals that Luke was always in awe of. Holden felt someone watching him and looked over his shoulder. Luke waved as Holden started to finish up and walk towards the barn with the colt.

Holden secured the horse with the help of Luke. They walked into Holden's office and sat down. Holden and Luke never had trouble talking; ever. But since he came back for being held captive in Kentucky, things were different. Another thing Damian stole from him. Luke and he held an awkward pause until Luke spoke first. He never could sit with silence for very long.

"I'm going to go back to mom's."

"Luke I didn't mean to run you off or anything."

"I know dad."

"So are you going to tell me what's going on?" Holden tried to be delicate this morning, but that didn't work.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"You're not drinking again are you?" Holden asked. Luke gave his dad a look of pure shock.

"No! I'm not."

"Well at least I got a real reaction out of you. You do know that you can talk to me about everything, right?"

"Yeah, I do dad. Thanks."

Holden walked Luke to his car, they shared a hug, and Luke drove away. Holden walked inside and found his mother asleep in the parlor. He also saw the afghan pulled all the way up to her chin. He smiled to himself; his son had a big heart, it was evident in everything he did.

* * *

Luke did not drive home. He drove to his grandmother's cabin, it was about halfway between Oakdale and Chicago. It really wasn't a cabin, but something out of a ski magazine from Austria. His grandfather built it after a trip to Austria. He loved the mountain lodge look. Even if Illinois had no mountains, they could always pretend when they were here. He parked his car and used the keys to get into the house. He typed in the security code, his mom's birthday, and dropped his bag next to the stairs. He wandered into the kitchen, hoping for a bottle of water. He was surprised when he found the fridge stocked full as well as the pantry.

Grandmother.

She must have sent Marcus, the caretaker, out to fill the kitchen. He noticed that all of his favorite snacks and junk food filled the pantry. There was an enough food here to feed an army for a month. He grabbed a banana, a bag of trail mix, and a bottle of water before he took his bags to his room. His room looked the same it did when he was fifteen. He never got around to taking down the Bulls posters or the Cubs banners. He never saw a need to. He felt at peace when he walked in. There were no remnants of his current life. Nothing to remind himself of what he wanted to forget.

He dropped down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Why did he mislead his dad? Why didn't he just tell him that he was going to come up here? That answer was easy. As much as he loved his family, they could be stifling. They were everywhere and always wanting to know what was going on. He just wanted to get away and not be surrounded by them all the time.

Luke rolled over in bed and had one last thought before he fell asleep.

_Did he make Noah feel that way?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, whatta think?!
> 
> Let me know! I love the feedback!  
> More to Come!  
> Stay Tuned!


	4. Just One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hold on to your butts!

Noah sat in his bedroom and thought about what had happened yesterday. Luke purposely left so he won't have to be around him. Even the idea of him being in the same room with Luke was so painful that Luke felt the need to actually leave his own house. If Noah didn't feel bad before, he did now. He never wanted to hurt Luke; he loved him. He knew that. He also didn't mean for Luke to move out of his mom's house. Again, he just didn't want to see him. Noah could still smell Luke in his room, even though it hadn't been Luke's room since the accident.

The accident.

He still had dreams about it. The argument. The explosion. It was all still very vivid in his mind. What wasn't vivid in his mind anymore was Luke. It used to be that he could close off his mind and just see Luke. That his memories of Luke were so strong that he could see him, but as time goes on, he is losing that. He thought of it like a childhood memory of someone. You forget the details, but you never forget the person. But Noah wanted those details. He _**wanted**_ to see the exact color of Luke's eyes. He wanted to see Luke's hair grow lighter in the summer; as it did every year. He wanted to see if Luke had a cleft in chin or not. All of these details he couldn't quite remember. He thought that there was no way he would ever forget how gorgeous Luke was, but as time went, so did his memory.

That was why he needed the surgery. He needed to see again. He needed to be the man that he used to be. He could not go on this way. He just couldn't.

* * *

Luke woke up in a second place in two days. This time the first thing he saw was giant horse poster Faith and Natalie got him for Christmas when he was fifteen. He promised them he would never take it down. He smiled when he thought about it. He sat up and felt nauseous. His body was just tired. He had slept nearly ten hours last night and fourteen the night before, but he was still exhausted. He knew it was because he was depressed, but really, how much sleep did he really need?

He pulled himself out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom. He started the shower and just stood under the spray for what seemed like hours; letting the hot water melt his sore body. He let out long breaths and eased some kinks out of his back. After the shower he trotted downstairs and into the kitchen. He made himself some breakfast and fished his cell out of coat pocket. He had a text from Casey and one from Maddie. Both of them wanting to do lunch; just not together. He was surprised he got any messages at all; the heavy trees around the house made it very hard to get any kind of reception. He had to call his grandmother and let her know that he was here. He grabbed the cordless phone in the kitchen and called her. He dialed her direct office line and she answered after two rings. She knew it was family. No one else had that direct number.

"Hello?"

"Hello grandmother."

"Hello Darling. How is the cabin?" She asked and she heard him scoff.

"How did you know that I was here?" He asked half in disbelief and half in amusement as he shoveled some eggs in his mouth.

"I just had a gut feeling. You don't get to be where I am without trusting your gut? How are you?"

"I'm good," he answered quickly and then there was a pause in the conversation. Luke knew the look his grandmother was making and he was right. Her head was tilted slightly to the left and her left eyebrow was arched. "Ok, I'm not good, but I'll be fine. I just need time away and to think."

"That's the answer I wanted to here. You know darling, it's ok be in pain, but just don't deny it. You need to grieve a little."

"I know. Oh, don't tell anyone that I'm here."

"Why not?"

"Because then they'll be calling me or coming to see me. I just want to be alone, at least for a little while."

"All right my dear, just make sure you contact me every day. Text me. Let me know you're all right. If you don't, I'll send Holden up there," she commanded and Luke laughed.

"Deal. I promise. Thank you grandmother."

"You're welcome darling. I love you."

"I love you more," Luke said; reaching back to something that they use to say to each other when Luke was very young. Lucinda laughed in delight and hung up the phone. Her heart ached for that grandson of hers. His heart was much too big to be broken like this. But she promised not to interfere. She would have to trust that her grandson knew what was best for him. She just thanked her lucky stars that Damian was gone and out of their lives for good.

At least that was her hope.

* * *

Casey had tried to get a hold of Luke all day. Every time he called him he got an automated message telling him that the user was out of the calling area. Was that possible? Was there really anywhere in the country where cell phones didn't reach? He had gotten a call from Ali to meet her at Al's for lunch. He was early, which was rare, and he waited outside for her. The sun was finally pushing away the late winter snow and he didn't want to be inside. The sun was very warm and he could have sworn he heard birds chirping somewhere. He sat on the bench outside Al's and enjoyed the weather. Lucinda walked out Al's with a white lunch bag and passed him while talking on her phone; not seeing him at all.

"Marcus, make sure that my grandson has everything he needs. He will be using the cabin for a little while. Right...," her voice died off as she walked out of ear shot. Casey collapsed back against the bench. What was Luke doing at the cabin? Casey pulled out his cell and tried to call Luke. Again he got the message that the user was out of range. He called Ali next to cancel lunch, he had to talk to Luke.

* * *

Luke grabbed his messenger bag and dug out some of his work. He set his laptop on the kitchen table, plugged in his adapter, and waited for the Internet to connect. He decided to get some foundation work done while he was gone. He wasn't lying about having to write a proposal for a grant, but he fudged on the deadline. In reality he had two months to get it done. He stood to get something to drink and knocked his bag off the table and onto the floor. The entire contents fell out of the bag and slid across the linoleum floor. Luke looked up the heavens in frustration and let out a long sigh. He then begun to pick up the papers, books, and folders that scattered all over the medium kitchen. He was about done when he picked up a blue folder. He didn't even realize that he grabbed it when he left his mom's in such a hurry. It had been sitting on his desk. Luke must have shuffled it in with the files when gathering up his paperwork. He sat down at the table, closed his laptop, and set the folder down on top of the computer. Luke sat and stared at the folder for a while. He chewed on his bottom lip and swallowed hard. It was almost as if he was afraid to open it. He finally flipped the folder open and looked at the contents.

This was his "Noah" folder.

Over the past few months, he had been putting everything important into this folder. Whenever he had a fight with Noah or when Noah would reject him, he would open up this folder and look at the items inside. It was supposed to remind him of what he was fighting for. First thing he saw was the photo of him and Noah on their bench in Old Towne. Ali snuck up and took it; she said that they just looked so cute. She sprung this picture on Luke a few weeks later. He was pleasantly surprised. Noah made sure to get a copy to put as his background on his computer. He smiled slightly and put it aside. There were movie ticket stubs and the program to a play they went to in Chicago. Tickets to the Cubs game they went to after the whole Zac and Zoe thing. The Valentine's card Noah gave him for their first Valentine's Day. He opened up the card and read the swirling script on the inside.

_**The best thing that ever happened to me was you.** _

Luke carefully slid the card back into its envelope and set it aside. He should stop looking at this stuff. It was like pouring salt in a wound or twisting a knife. The next thing he saw was the card Noah gave him at their first Christmas. He remembered worrying because he told Noah that he loved him and Noah didn't say it back. He thought he might have scared him away. Luke held the card in his hand and looked at it before he slowly opened it.

_**Luke, I wish I had your way with words but I don't. Thank you for never giving up on me even when I pushed you away. Being with you has made me happier than I have ever been.** _

_**Merry Christmas.** _

_**Love Noah.** _

Luke could feel his chin tremble as he tried to hold back on his tears. His vision was getting a bit cloudy as his tears begun to well up. He closed his eyes, the tears, pushed to their limit, fell down his cheeks. He whimpered softly before he put the card away. He _knew_ he should stop. He _had_ to stop, but he couldn't. The next one was going to kill him. It was the letter Noah left for him on New Year's Eve; that awful New Years.

_**Dear Luke,** _

**_I_ ** _**f you followed my directions and didn't read this last night, then it's the first day of 2009. We spent our first night together and I am lying in bed with you watching you read this. Knowing me I'm betting that I didn't say everything that you needed to hear last night, you've always been better with words than me. But I want to thank you Luke for being my love, for being my future.** _

_**Happy New Year.** _

Luke put all the notes and letters and mementos back in the folder and stuffed it back into his bag. He looked down at his hands and saw that they were shaking. He clenched his fists and then shook them; hoping to free them of the involuntary movement. He grabbed his bag and threw it across the kitchen. It hit the wall and fell to the floor. He walked past the mess and into the living room. He knew what he wanted. He walked straight to it and just stared. He wanted this so bad right now.

* * *

Casey told Ali that he had to talk to Luke. He was worried that he hadn't heard from him lately. Luke was always texting; he would not have let his texts go this long without answering. Plus what was he doing at the cabin? He was almost there and he kept trying to call him. Luke had been there for him through some of the toughest times in his life. Now, Luke was going through something and he wanted to be there for him. He would never admit this, but he loved Luke. He was like a brother to him. Casey's relationships with his own brothers were strained to say the least, but he and Luke had a bond. And Casey just knew that Luke needed a friend; he could feel it.

He pulled up to the cabin and parked next to Luke's car. He got out and looked around. He remembered a lot of nights spent here during high school. When Luke was drinking so much, there were a lot of parties thrown here. Kevin was the instigator of most of them. Lots of drinking and other activities not suitable for teenagers went on in this house. He laughed lightly as he remembered the weekends that he spent here. To be that young again, he thought to himself.

Casey walked up to the house and rung the bell. He paced a bit waiting for Luke to answer the door. He pushed the button again and started to peek through the beveled windows on each side of the heavy wooden front door. He could see Luke's coat hanging just inside but he didn't see Luke. Maybe he was in the shower or asleep. Please let him be ok. Casey hit the button a couple more times.

* * *

Luke sat at the dining room table and just stared at it. His fingers were laced together and resting just under his chin. He stared as the light shined through the glass. Just one and everything would be so much better. Everything would be ok, it just took one. He finally registered the doorbell ringing on the second chime. He flinched as if he was coming up of a trance. He knew the person would not go away. It had to be Marcus, but he had a key and no one stumbles upon this place by accident. It was set a good mile or two from the main road. Luke let out a long breath and pushed himself up from the table. He heard the doorbell ring twice in quick succession before he got to the door. He opened it up and saw Casey standing on the front porch.

"How did you find me?" Luke asked as he stepped aside to let Casey in. Casey looked around and noticed that the place had not changed in nearly ten years. The floors were still a warm honey hardwood. The furniture was still dark leather and the walls were still a soft chocolate. It even smelled the same, like vanilla and cinnamon.

"I heard Lucinda on the phone with Marcus as she left Al's. Then I thought why would my best friend being going off to hide out at the cabin and he didn't tell me?" Casey said as he followed Luke inside.

Casey started to remove his coat and was just untying his scarf when he walked into the dining room after Luke. It wasn't the old Spanish wood table that caught his eye or the antique china cabinet on one wall or the double glass doors that opened up onto the patio outside. None of these things caused him to stop. It was the gallon sized whiskey bottle sitting in the middle of the table, right next to a highball glass with ice cubes slowly melting. The sunlight from the doors was shining through the brown liquid and causing small light bursts to dance on the walls. Luke returned to his chair and Casey sat across from him.

"What are you doing Luke?"

"I haven't done anything. I've just been sitting here, staring at it."

"What's going on?"

"You want the list?" Luke asked and Casey's brow furrowed in confusion. What was he talking about? "Well, first off, Noah broke up with me."

"What? Why?"

"Why do you think? He still blames me for what happened. He'll never forgive me Casey and I don't blame him. I don't know if I could forgive me."

"Of course you'd forgive Luke. That's just you."

"What else? Oh, yeah! Damian ran off, again, but not before he tried to kill my Aunt Meg and kidnap my mom. Oh, and he knew the entire time my dad was gone that he was alive. The. Entire. Time. He held me while I cried over my dad and said nothing!" Luke yelled and clenched his fists to calm himself down. Casey didn't move, his friend needed to talk or vent. "My mom got hurt when Damian ran from the house and I went to see her in at the hospital. That's where I saw Noah. He told me that Dr. Oliver agreed to do the surgery, which is everything that we wanted, but only if I wasn't around, anymore. And Noah agreed."

"I don't believe that."

"That's what happened Casey. He was willing to let our relationship go because of Dr. Oliver."

Casey's head was spinning. What else could possibly happen to his friend?

"All of this happened on one day?"

"Yeah. That night I kept thinking, "Ok, what else could possibly be added on to my day? Is there anything else that could happen?" So when I told my grandmother, she suggested I get away from everything for a little while. You and her are the only ones who know I'm here."

"Your mom and dad don't know?"

"My mom thinks I'm at the farm and my dad thinks I'm at my mom's. I knew if I told them, they would be checking on me and calling..."

"From what I see, maybe that's not a bad idea Luke."

"Oh come on Casey. I'm not drunk and I have not been drinking, but I want one really bad."

"That won't solve anything."

"But it will make everything feel a little better."

"I know you don't believe that."

"I know," Luke leaned heavily on the table; his face in his hands. He let out a long breath and looked at his friend. "I know. It just hurts right now," Luke said in a shaky breath. Casey could see tears gathering at the edges of his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Luke."

"Yeah, me too,"

* * *

About a half hour later, Casey left the cabin with the contents of Lucinda's liquor cabinet. Luke insisted that Casey take everything; even the cooking wine. Casey locked all the bottles in his trunk before he left Luke alone. He promised his friend that he would not tell anyone where he was. Luke promised Casey that he would call him if he needed anything. They shared a hug and Casey started for home. He kept checking his cell. As soon as he got a signal he pulled over and called Ali.

"Ali, hi. I, ah, I found Luke he's fine. It's just...I love you. I love you so much. I just needed to tell you that."

* * *

It was about an hour after Casey left and Luke walked into the kitchen. He saw his messenger bag on the floor where he had thrown it. He saw all of the things in his bag dumped on the floor. Luke crouched down and started to pick things up. He slipped the foundation paperwork inside and the last thing he picked up was the photo of him and Noah. He stood there staring at the picture. He missed Noah so much and he felt so sad that Noah didn't want him anymore.

Then he felt irrationally angry.

* * *

Reid Oliver was dying in the hick town he was sentenced to. This back woods town did everything so bass ackwards and his genius was being wasted. Every night he had to call his office in Dallas and reschedule his patients. If Snyder hadn't trapped him here then he would be in Dallas, helping those that really deserved his help and don't cut the line. He was in the locker room changing into his street clothes when Luke walked in. Reid looked over his shoulder and turned back towards his locker.

"I thought I made myself quite clear when I told Mr. Mayer that I did not want you in my orbit," he said without even looking at Luke.

"Noah has no idea that I'm here," Luke's arms crossed his chest. His body felt like it humming, vibrating.

"So, then what are you doing here?" Reid finally turned to face Luke. His blonde hair was falling across his forehead and the cool weather made his cheeks dark pink. He could tell by his stance that he was angry. Reid had seen this look many times.

"I wanted to talk to you. I understand that you don't like me, hell you may even hate me. If I was in your position I might feel the same way," Reid was about to interrupt Luke, but he wouldn't have any of it. "NO! I'm talking right now. All I wanted was a chance. I wanted a chance for Noah. It was my fault that he got hurt and I would do anything to help him get well. Now, I got you here in a way that I regret, and for that, I'm sorry. I am not sorry that you are stuck here. I'm not. I am sorry that you have nothing in your life so you felt the need to take away mine. Was that it? You hate me so much for bringing you here and for being stuck here, that you what? Decide to punish me by taking away the one thing in my life that I care about more than anything?" Luke finished and waited. He wanted to hear what he had to say.

"Am I allowed to talk now?'

"Yes."

"What you say makes sense, if I cared what happened to you. Do you think I sit alone and think up ways to "punish" you?" He used his fingers to make air quotes. He was making fun of Luke now. He passed Luke and reached for the door.

"Then why? Why would tell Noah that we needed to not see each other anymore?"

"I didn't want you around me."

Reid turned back to face Luke and it happened.

Reid captured Luke face in his hands and crashed their lips together. Reid moved closer to Luke, not breaking his hold or their kiss. Luke resisted. He was shocked at first and tried to pull away, but Reid was not going to let go. He could not get over how soft and hot Luke's lips were. Luke pulled back and Reid followed him. Luke's back was pressed against the lockers. Reid finally had to pull away to breathe. Luke's eyes were glowing with the heat between them. Luke's lips were swollen and parted as he panted. They locked eyes for a second and dove back at each other. Reid's velvety tongue licked across Luke's lips and Luke let him enter.

This time Luke was as wanting as Reid was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, whatta think?  
> Next episode on Time to Say Goodbye - everything changes between Luke and Reid.  
> Stay Tuned!


	5. Wanting

Reid slid his hand back from Luke's cheek and into his soft blonde hair at the nape of his neck. He felt like he was floating out of his body. Looking down at what he was doing. He held hard to Luke as he pushed his body into the blonde. Luke pulled at Reid's hips; their bodies were connected thighs to lips. The locker's creaked and buckled under the pressure of their interlocked bodies. A moan was heard by both men, but neither one really knew who released it. While Reid's left hand was snugly entwined in Luke's hair, his other skimmed along Luke ribcage under his coat; eliciting a sharp breath in from Luke. Reid's hand than found the hem of Luke's t-shirt. He **_had_** to feel his skin. His hand slipped underneath Luke's shirt and up his bare back. Reid could feel Goosebumps rise up on Luke's soft skin. How did he have such unbelievably soft skin?

Reid pulled his lips away from Luke's just long enough to kiss down his jaw. Luke's back arched instinctively as he felt Reid hot breath on his skin. His eyes closed so he could just feel Reid against him. The hardness of his body was in sharp contrast to the softness of his tongue against Luke's skin. He gasped when Reid bit down lightly on the muscle that connected his shoulder to his neck and lightly sucked on the bite mark. Reid groaned as Luke's fingers dug into his skin at his hips. Reid kissed his way back to Luke's lips. He rested his forehead against Luke's and both men gasped as they tried to calm their racing hearts.

"I ah," Luke was desperately trying to pull his words together to form a sentence of some kind. He needed to say something. Luke's eyes were closed and his head was slightly bowed.

"What?" Reid asked quietly while his ran his fingers through the hair at the nape of Luke's neck. He put on a slightly crooked smile as he waited for Luke to speak. Luke looked up into Reid's green eyes. Luke could see that Reid was waiting for Luke to answer him. But what could be say?

"I'm ah," Luke let out a long breath. Reid was still rubbing his fingers into Luke's neck and it felt so good. "I ah, I'm sorry," Luke said as he pulled away, stepped around Reid, and was quickly out the door. Reid looked over his shoulder after Luke left and saw the door slowly close. He leaned against the wall of lockers where Luke was just standing. His head dropped, his eyes closed, and he took several deep cleansing breaths.

This just made everything much more complicated.

* * *

Luke rushed out of the hospital and to his car. He was inside with the doors locked before he even realized it. His hands gripped the steering wheel so hard, they burned. He closed his eyes and flashes of the last 15 minutes ran through his head.

Reid's hands in his hair and under his shirt.

His lips were so soft and his tongue tasted so sweet.

The look in his eyes after he grabbed him and they broke away from their first kiss; Luke just melted when he saw how much Reid wanted to do this.

Luke still had Goosebumps where Reid had touched him.

He needed to figure out what he was feeling. It wasn't love; that he knew for sure. Maybe it was lust. He was so confused right now. He sat in his car for a few more minutes until he saw Reid leaving the hospital. Luke ducked down in his car to avoid being seen. He suddenly felt like an idiot for trying to hide. Luke peeked through the window and saw Reid getting into a taxi and pulling away. Luke waited a minute or two and pulled out of the parking lot as well.

He drove around town and tried to think. He was thinking about Noah and everything they said to each other. He wanted to be at Noah's side through everything, but he couldn't. Noah didn't want him there. He wanted to take care of him, but again, Noah didn't want him there. Even the idea of seeing Noah made him excited and devastated all at the same time. That was why, when he left the house, he could barely look at him. He just couldn't. To see that beautiful face and to look into those gorgeous eyes and then to know that Noah wasn't his anymore. It ate a little of Luke's heart each time.

He just couldn't be around him and not be with him. Not anymore.

They've tried being friends before; after each break-up, but it never works. They can't be just friends, not after everything. Maybe Luke was rationalizing. Maybe he was making excuses. Maybe he was going crazy.

He pulled over and parked his car. He wasn't even sure where he was. Luke buried his face in his hands and groaned in frustration. He looked up and was shocked when he realized where he was. He had driven to his Aunt Katie's apartment building. Reid was staying with her. How did he manage to drive here without even realizing it? Well, he figured, now that he was here, he should at least talk to him.

Lay everything out on the table.

* * *

He steadied himself as he rang the doorbell. His hands were sweating. What is wrong with me?"

The door swung open and Reid was standing there. He was dressed in a plain white t-shirt, a pair of dark blue lounge pants and his feet were bare; which affected Luke more than he realized. He had always seen Reid as a doctor and that was it. But to see him like this. He almost seemed human. Casual Reid Oliver unnerved and attracted him at same time.

"Mr. Snyder, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I needed to talk to you,"

"Well, come in," Reid said as he stepped aside.

"I think I'd rather stand out here, thanks," Luke said as he pushed his hands into his coat pockets.

"Come on. I'm not going to jump you. Scout's honor," he replied and put his hand to his chest, covering his heart. Luke stepped inside and Reid latched the door shut. He walked into the kitchen and took a mug out of the cupboard. "Would you like some tea?"

"No thanks. Is Katie here?" Luke asked as he looked around. The place hadn't changed much since his Uncle's death.

"No. She took, um "baby", to his grandma's. No idea when she's coming back,"

"Um, it can't happen again," Luke said in one breath. Reid's movements froze momentarily as he took in what Luke said. He then went back to pouring the hot water into his mug.

"What can't?" He put the teapot back on the stove and dropped his tea bag in. He was acting so casual.

"You know what I'm talking about. The kiss. We can't do that again,"

"And you came all the way over here to tell me this?"

"Why else would I be here?" Luke asked and watched as Reid looked him up and down and his eyebrows arched slightly. "No way. I have a boyfriend,"

"Oh, come on. You yourself told me that he broke up with you," Reid fired back as he started to walk towards Luke. Luke crossed his arms; instinctively to protect himself. "You could have told me all of this over the phone or at the hospital this afternoon before you ran away. I saw you in your car," Reid was still walking towards Luke and Luke was backing away to keep a distance between them. "You were hiding from me," Luke backed himself right up to the front door. He flinched when he felt the door stop him.

Reid was just a hair's breadth from him now. He reached out and caressed the side of Luke's neck; rubbing his thumb along Luke's jaw line and his fingertips played at his hairline. Luke took in a sharp breath. This was so surreal.

"I can tell that you wanted it as much as I did. I could feel it Luke," he said in a breathy whisper; it was the first time Reid had used Luke's first name. Hearing Reid say his first name out loud drew his attention to Reid's lips. "I can feel it right now," he said as he grazed his thumb from Luke's jaw to his neck. Luke turned his gaze away from Reid, but he did not move. "Your skin is getting warm, your pulse is racing, your breathing is labored, and you're getting Goosebumps all over. Tell me again that it can't happen. Because I can tell that you want it,"

"I don't...," Luke said and his hand reached out the back Reid away from him. He could feel Reid's hard chest through his light t-shirt.

"Don't what?"

Luke moved first this time. He closed the short distance between him and Reid. His lips were becoming very acquainted with Reid's. He pulled the older doctor's body to his again; he felt shocks running all along his body. He hadn't felt like this in a long time. He wanted it; he needed it. He softly bit on Reid's lower lip and slid his tongue over the bite. Reid moaned into Luke kiss as the blonde licked at roof of his mouth. Both men were growing hard with every second. Reid pushed Luke's coat off his shoulders and it fell to a puddle at Luke's feet. Reid pulled away and looked at Luke. Once he felt cool air on his moist lips, Luke opened his eyes. Both of them were breathing hard through parted, swollen lips. Reid slipped his hand into Luke's and stepped back; pulling the trancelike Luke with him.

* * *

Reid and Luke stepped inside his room and Reid closed the door. Reid stepped up behind Luke and skimmed his hands around his waist; pulling Luke's back to his chest. He lightly peppered kisses along Luke's neck while his hands sat on Luke's waist. Luke felt tingly all over; shocks and shivers running from the top of head to the tips of his toes. He leaned into Reid and then leaned his head back onto his shoulder. Reid took advantage of the exposed skin. He kissed and licked all around Luke's neck; nibbling lightly at the bite mark he gave him earlier. Luke felt like his entire body was on fire.

As much as Reid wanted to feel Luke's skin, he wanted to see it too. Did he have any tattoos or embarrassing birthmarks? How about scars? These thoughts had been plaguing his mind since the short make out session in the locker room. He slipped his hands under Luke's shirt and pulled it away from his body. Luke raised his arms and felt the cool air on his body. Reid threw the shirt somewhere in the room and turned Luke to face him.

Luke's skin looked as good as it felt. Soft and smooth; he just wanted to lick every square inch.

He pulled Luke's chest back to his and returned to that bite he gave him. Luke moaned and withered under the attention he was getting. Luke decided that he didn't want to be the only one undressed. He tugged at Reid's t-shirt and pulled it off. He was a little more cut then he looked. He took great pride in his body. His abs were well-defined and his skin looked like he enjoyed living in a warm climate. Luke pulled at Reid hips and crashed their bodies back to each other. The feel of Reid's hot skin against his was so intoxicating. He could feel how much Reid wanted him.

It felt so good.

Reid deepened his kiss and reached for Luke's belt. Luke hands grasped onto Reid's; he stopped him. There was no going back after this. Reid took one step back, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath, and looked at Luke.

Their eyes locked for a brief moment.

Luke undid his belt and pulled it from his jeans.

Reid hooked his finger into one to loops and pulled Luke back to him. A smirk stretching across his face.

There really was no going back.


	6. Tug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are enjoying this little ride.  
> There will be some ups and downs peppered throughout.  
> Enjoy!

Luke's eyes slowing opened. The room was dark, but he knew pretty quickly that he wasn't in his room. It took several seconds for his brain to wake up as well. Everything that he had done came rushing back to him in one moment. He almost flinched at the sudden realization. He turned his head to the left and saw Reid...Dr. Oliver asleep next to him; his arm draped across Luke's waist. His eyes shut and long breath escaped him. He glanced at the bedside clock and saw that it was nearly five pm. He had been here for nearly four hours.

What was he going to do?

What was he thinking?

Luke carefully lifted Reid's arm away and slid out of bed. He crouched on the floor for a breath of a second; making sure that he didn't disturb him. Once he was satisfied that he was still asleep, Luke tiptoed around the room picking up his clothes. As he zipped his jeans, Reid groaned. Luke froze. _Please don't wake up. Please don't wake up._ Reid rolled onto his side, but remained asleep.

Luke's first bit of luck.

His second bit of luck came when he slowly eased himself out into the hall and closed the bedroom door. Now he was racing to get his coat and be out before Reid woke up or Katie came home. He slipped on his coat and was out to his car in record time. He slammed the door shut and sunk into the driver's seat. He felt awful. He decided he needed a little pick me up. Coffee always made him feel better. Some people had a sweet tooth; Luke had a coffee tooth. Getting one of those huge chocolatey concoction's with a mountain of whipped cream and an extra shotwas just what he needed. Then he would be awake all night feeling guilty for what he just did.

About five minutes later he was walking into Java, he ordered his drink and mingled around the counter waiting. He couldn't _not_ think about it. He just did the walk of shame. This was totally out character for him. He waited until he was twenty-one to have sex with Noah. They had been dating for almost two years when they finally did it. He just jumped into bed with Reid after only knowing him a few weeks. And that was just it. He didn't know him.

With Noah he knew everything. He liked the color blue. He was afraid of the dark until he was 10. He liked mustard on his onion rings. He had a pair of bright yellow socks that he always wore when he needed a little luck, like a test or meeting. He worked at Java, but he only liked black coffee. There wasn't anything he didn't know.

But with Reid, nothing.

Luke stood at the counter and started to drum his fingers on the hard surface. He looked around the place and saw Noah and Maddie tucked in a corner. Maybe if he talked to Noah for a minute he would feel better and be able to admit what happened. He needed to find out if he should tell him or not. Maddie and him were sitting at a table and Maddie's back was to him. Noah was facing his direction, but of course he couldn't see him. He slowly walked forward and he couldn't help but overhear them.

"Just because Dr. Oliver doesn't want the two of you to be involved, doesn't mean that you can't talk to me about him," Maddie said, trying to coax Noah into talking.

"Yeah, you know it's hard actually talking about anything that's happened in the past couple of years without mentioning Luke. He's become a huge part of my life," Noah answered and Luke could not help but smile at that. "Now it's kind of hard to avoid him," Luke stopped dead in he tracks and had to swallow hard; Noah was avoiding him on purpose. Even though Dr. Oliver would never know and Noah said he shouldn't have to go through the stuff with Damian by himself, Noah was still avoiding him. Luke thought that they could at least be civil and talk once in a while, but Luke was right the first time.

They couldn't just be friends.

"One large vanilla coffee ice crema with an extra espresso shot and extra whipped cream," the barista called out and pulled Luke from his thoughts. He went to the counter, grabbed his drink, and left quickly.

Noah heard Jeff call out the last pick-up. That was what Luke ordered every time. It was a special that wasn't even on the order board anymore. Luke had it once and was hooked. He was here and he didn't even come to talk to him. Noah felt the tug at his chest. That tug he had been feeling ever since he told Luke that they needed to stop seeing each other. He figured that he would get used to it by now, but it still hurt every time. Maybe moving in with Maddie was the right thing to do. At least then Luke could come back to his mom's.

* * *

Luke sat in front of Katie's building and just stared. What was he doing? The rational part of his brain was telling him to run away; to go straight to the farm and talk to his dad. That was what he should do, but here he was. He pulled out his cell and called his cousin's apartment. It rang twice when Reid picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Yes, is Katie Snyder there?"

"Ah, no, she won't be back until tomorrow. Can I take a message?"

"No. No message. Thank you," Luke closed his phone and dropped it in his pocket. He was alone. He really should go home.

* * *

 

Reid was finishing some reports from Dallas, when there was a knock on the front door. He had been getting reports on his other patients to his email box every few days. He was giving his colleagues instructions and referrals for those that needed immediate care that he couldn't give. He padded over to the door and opened it.

There was the bane of existence, but for a completely different reason now. When he woke up, even his skin smelled like Luke Snyder. He had to shower just so he could concentrate on the rest of his evening.

"Mr. Snyder. What can I do for you?"

"Just, ah, don't talk," Luke answered in a quiet voice. Reid's demeanor totally changed. When he first opened the door, he was wearing the bravado that he always saw, but now he wearing that _want_ that Luke had first seen six hours ago. Reid reached out and grabbed Luke's wrist and pulled him inside. Luke's lips were on Reid's before he even realized it.

He wanted this.

He needed this.

This time it was Luke who took Reid's hand and led him to the bedroom. The rest of the night, Luke tried to forget about the six foot brunette that he loved, but who didn't want him anymore. He instead thought about the six foot redhead that wanted him more than anything.

And that was enough for now.

* * *

The next morning, Noah was packing his things. Maddie was a miracle worker. She had not only managed to find an apartment for them, but she also got them in right away. He was really excited to be leaving Luke's parents house. He was so grateful to Lily for everything she did, but he really needed to be in his own place. God forbid the surgery didn't work, he needed to be somewhere where he could learn to blind without someone always being there. He had learned a lot of techniques when he went to rehab, but he hadn't been able to use any of them yet. Lily, bless her heart, was always there to do everything. Noah just didn't have the heart to tell her to let him fail. He needed to be independent, well, as independent as he could be.

They had most of his things packed and waiting in the living room for Holden to come over with a truck to help them move.

"Are you sure that you don't want to wait a few more weeks before you move out?" Lily asked him and Noah couldn't help but smile. She had become like a mother to him and he would have been hurt if she didn't ask.

"I need to see if I can do this. Plus Maddie will be there, so I won't be totally alone."

"Ok. I'll stop meddling. I just worry about you that's all."

"I know. And I love you for it. Thank you." Lily reached out and pulled her adopted son in her arms. Adoption or not, she thought him as her son and that was enough for her. Then there was a knock on the door.

"That's Holden," Lily pulled away and went to let him in. "Hi."

"Hi," Holden said as he walked in. "Hey Noah."

"Hi Mr. Snyder."

"This is a lot of stuff. So is Luke going to help us?"

"Luke's not here. I thought you would bring him." Lily remarked nonchalantly.

"Why would I bring him? He's been living here."

"No. He's been at the farm with you."

"He was until a few days ago. He said he was coming back here."

"He didn't come back here," Lily answered and shared a look with her ex-husband.

"Noah, do you know where he is?" Holden asked as he saw panic come into Lily's eyes.

"No, we've haven't talked in a few days," he felt shame as he said the words out loud.

"Holden?" Noah heard a slight quiver in Lily's voice. There was that tug at Noah's heart again.

"I know," Holden said as he pulled out his cell and started to dial.

"Where would he go?" Noah asked Lily.

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

In that moment, he knew that he had no idea where Luke was right now and that scared him. He also realized that he didn't know Luke anymore. But he then couldn't figure out what was worse; not knowing where he _was_ or not knowing _him_.

* * *

Reid rocked into Luke and Luke felt that building pressure that meant he was close. He was on his back and his legs were wrapped around Reid's waist. Reid had his head buried in Luke's shoulder and his hands were in his hair. They had done this all night long and now this morning. Luke didn't talk to him much, he just wanted to feel.

To feel good.

To feel wanted and needed.

He wanted to feel Reid inside him. Noah had been his one and only for so long, but now he and Reid had done every position he knew and a couple he didn't. Reid moved into him faster and harder until both men came hard. Luke tightened his grip around Reid until his breathing calmed and his heart slowed. Reid pulled out of him and lied next to him.

"So, are you going to sneak away if I fall asleep?" Reid asked as he lightly brushed his fingers along Luke's stomach.

"You could always take your chances." Luke teased with a wiggle of his eyebrows and Reid laughed out loud. It was the first time he heard Reid laugh. He had a nice smile when he wasn't frowning.

Soon both men were off to dream land.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for stopping by!  
> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think.  
> Stay Tuned!


	7. Search Party: Cancelled

"What if Damian took him? He has the connections, he could have," Lily was ranting now. Her panic was overflowing and Noah was starting to drown in it. If he had been paying more attention, if he hadn't been trying to get him to go away, none of this would have happened. He could hear and feel Lily walking back and forth behind while he sat on the couch. Well, collapsed was more accurate. Holden had already called Maddie, Ali, Emma and Jack to see if any of them know where he was. Noah felt like his heart was slowly being rung out. What was he supposed to do if Luke disappeared? He never wanted that. But while he thought about it, he realized that he did. He had left Luke, told him that they should stop seeing each other, and now he was moving out of the house that they had shared since his accident. He now knew what Luke had been feeling for the last few months. If he wasn't so worried about Luke right now, he would be crying the tears that he was holding in.

"All right Jack, just get back to me if you hear anything. All right, bye."

"What did Jack say?" Lily asked as rushed back to Holden from the opposite side of the living room.

"He said that he has officers out looking, but there really isn't anything he can do."

"What does that mean?!" Lily almost screamed.

"Lily, he's twenty-two years old. He's an adult. He can come and go when and where he wants. Jack said he will do everything that he can. Did you try calling Luke again?"

"Yeah, it just goes back to voicemail."

"Well, you keep trying and I'm going to go out and look for him," Holden said as he put on his coat and walked out to his truck. Lily tried his phone again.

_"Hi, you reached my phone, but I haven't reached my phone. Leave a message. Bye."_

"Damnit Luke!" Lily said in frustration. She snapped her phone shut and looked over at Noah. He was leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. His hands were linked together and resting just under his nose. He looked like he was praying. She stepped around the couch and sat down next to him. "Noah? Are you ok?" She asked as she lightly rubbed his back.

"What if Damian really did take him somewhere? What if we can't find him?" His last question came out in a strangled voice. His voice sounded strange like it wasn't his own. He was scared.

"He hasn't disappeared. We'll find him," she said as he slipped her arm under his and leaned against his shoulder. They clung to each other while they waited for any word on Luke.

* * *

Luke rolled over and felt a cold mattress. He sat up slightly and looked around the room. He couldn't keep back the laugh that came out. The contents of Reid's desk were all over the floor. The chaise lounge was on its side. All bedding had been thrown off the bed and Luke was sleeping under the fitted sheet without a pillow. He and Reid definitely abused this room last night and this morning. He sat up and groaned with pain, but a good kind. Not knowing where his clothes were, he grabbed a pair of blue hospital scrubs off the floor and slipped them on. He quietly crept down the hall and found Reid in the kitchen. He was standing behind the stove and was making breakfast.

Luke smiled. He couldn't help it. He was surprised by how domestic he was, but to have a body like that there was no way junk food crossed those lips. He stood and watched him for a few minutes. Reid felt someone watching him and looked up.

"Good morning," he chimed with a smile on his face.

"Good morning. What are you doing?" Luke asked as he walked up to him.

"Making breakfast. You have seen breakfast before right?"

"Yes, but why?"

"Well, after the exertions last night and this morning and I'm hoping later, you will need your strength," Reid said and then playfully looked up at Luke through his eyelashes.

"Oh, is that so?" Luke asked with raised eyebrows; Reid reached over and stuck a strawberry in Luke's mouth. "Don't you work today?"

"Nope. And Katie went right to work this morning, so no one will be here all day," Reid remarked as he leaned forward and lightly kissed Luke. "So, how do you want your eggs?"

* * *

Lucinda breezed into the house after getting an urgent call from Lily. She couldn't get all the details, but she knew that she needed to get to her house and help her daughter. Noah was sitting on the couch wearing a very worried look. Lily was pacing around the living room dialing and then redialing Luke's number. She carefully closed the door and hung up her coat.

"Darling, what is it? I could barely understand you on the phone. All I could tell was you were in a panic," she said as she rubbed her daughter's back in comfort.

"Mother, Luke's missing. I thought he was staying with Holden at the farm and Holden thought he was staying here. What if Damian took him when he left town?" Lily was desperately trying to hold back the tears. She had to keep it together.

"Honey, he's not missing. I know exactly where he is," Lucinda replied and drew a look from Lily that would have melted ice. Holden entered the house right after Lucinda's confession. Noah turned to face the sound of Lucinda's voice.

"Where is he?" Noah quickly asked, realizing it came out more like a demand than a question.

"You know where Luke is?" Holden asked as he joined his ex-wife side. They both stood looking stoic, but Lucinda could see the anger boiling underneath.

"He asked me not to tell,"

"Mother!"

"No! I will not betray his confidence!"

"How could you do this and then not tell us where he is? How could Luke do this?" Holden asked getting angrier by the second.

"Do you blame him? First, he finally begins to mend the relationship with his father, only to find out it was all for naught. He had a multi-billion dollar company thrust upon him whether he wanted it or not. His parents are constantly fighting, have been for months, and he feels like his betraying one of you no matter which side he agrees with. His relationship is yanked away from him without any choice on his part. And all of this happened all at once. How did you think he would react to all of this? He would never say anything to any of you because he thinks that he is protecting you. He would rather go without than upset anyone. I told him to go away for a little while and clear his head before he did something extremely stupid."

* * *

"Do you want cream or sugar in your coffee?" Reid asked as he poured Luke a cup.

"Yes! When I have coffee, it really isn't coffee anymore. A lot of chocolate, vanilla and whipped cream. It's more like a dessert with coffee thrown in," Luke said and they shared a laugh. "So these exertions you were talking about, what exactly did you have in mind?" Luke playfully asked as he chomped on a piece of bacon.

Reid chewed on the food in his mouth as he looked at Luke. The blonde was looking at him with his eyebrows playfully raised and a sly grin on his face. Reid could not help but want this guy. He was smart, funny, and as Reid pleasantly discovered is passionate in several ways. He was so angry when he was forced here by Luke that he didn't see the great guy standing right in front of him. He tried to avoid Luke. As much as he tried, there was no escaping Luke Snyder. And as of last night, Reid realized, that was a very good thing. Plus, he looked really hot right now in his blue scrubs, knowing that there was nothing on underneath. Reid also could not stop but stare at the nice mark he left on Luke's shoulder. Reid had a feeling that Luke would not be too happy when he realized it was there.

"Well, I happened to notice that Katie has a nearly brand new can of whipped cream in the fridge. You just mentioned how much you like dessert, I figured we could give that a try," Reid said as he stepped around the table to Luke and sat down mere inches from him. He leaned closer and stopped with his mouth from just barely touching Luke's. "Then we can shower. And that's about as far as I was thinking," Luke closed the distance and captured Reid's lips with his own. He swept his tongue along Reid's and he tasted bacon and light hint of strawberries.

"I like that plan," Luke said. He pulled away slightly to stand up. He took a confused Reid's hand and pulled him to his feet. He walked over to the couch and pushed Reid down. Reid crashed onto the cushions and looked up at Luke. He stepped around Reid's knees and leaned forward; his hands braced against the back of the couch. He was hovering over the redhead; his face just shy of Reid's. He could smell Luke's sweet coffee on his warm breath. Reid's hands very softly slid up Luke's legs, up the back of his thighs and up to his slim hips. He pulled on Luke's hips and the blonde fell into him. He quickly straddled Reid and ground his pelvis down into him. Reid groaned and threw his head back. Luke latched onto a tendon in Reid's neck and started to nibble and suck at it.

* * *

"Why would Luke not tell us what was going on?" Lily asked as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"He didn't want to be a burden. Everyone in this room has problems of their own. He didn't want to bother anyone. Not to mention the guilt."

"What guilt?" Noah asked. Lucinda was sitting in the chair in front of the fireplace while Lily and Noah sat on the couch and Holden across from her on the other chair. After the anger had drained out of the room, they decided to sit down and talk. Lucinda was finally able to tell them what she had been holding in for months.

"The guilt of it all. He feels guilt that Damian was here at all. He convinced Damian to stay so they could get to know each other which led to the problems with you two," she said, gesturing to Lily and Holden. They just glanced at each other, taking in what she was saying. "Then he blames himself for your accident and the rift between you two," Noah swallowed hard as he heard Lucinda talk to him.

"I'd better call Jack. Tell him that Luke's ok," Holden said as he quickly got up and pulled out his cell. He knew that Lucinda was right about how they had been treating Luke, maybe him most of all. Regardless, of what Damian had done, Holden made Luke feel guilty almost daily for having a relationship with Damian. That was something that he was going to have to remedy after Luke came back; if he was able to repair the rift and Luke forgave him.

After another twenty minutes of talking to Lucinda, Holden and Noah finally started to get the truck loaded. He was moved into the apartment about two hours after that. Noah sat on his bed in his new place and ran his fingers over the buttons on his phone. He wanted to call Luke; to see if he was ok. Just to see how he was.

"Call Luke," he said into his hands free function and waited for Luke to pick up.

* * *

True Colors by Cyndi Lauper played through the small speaker on Luke's phone. He knew who it was. Normally he would have grabbed the phone and answered it on the first ring, but he was busy straddling Reid to bother. Luke was adrift in a completely different world at the moment and didn't want to be interrupted. He and Reid had both cum against each other since breakfast without either one of them taking off a piece of clothing, but they were still kissing and rubbing against each other. Luke felt like a teenager, making out with a guy on his parent's couch.

* * *

"Hey, you reached my phone, but I haven't reached my phone. So leave me a message. Bye," Luke voicemail box said into Noah ear.

"Luke, its Noah. I'm just wondering if you're ok. I haven't talk to you in a few days. Um, yeah, bye," Noah flipped his phone shut and then groaned at how stupid he must have sounded. He knew that is might be unfair to bother Luke and want to talk to him. It was Noah's idea to split up and now he was dangling his relationship with Luke in front him, asking him to talk to him. Just to hear his voice. They hadn't spoken since that night when Luke moved out of the house. He heard from Maddie what Damian had done and wished that he could be there for Luke. Why didn't Luke talk to him? Tell him how he was feeling. Talk like they use to.

But Noah had a sinking realization that landed in the base of his stomach.

That Luke had tried.

Many, many, times to talk to Noah and he was constantly rebuffed. Noah would yell at him, push him away, throw the accident back in his face, or put his ear buds in to block out Luke completely. That day in hospital when he found out he was blind, Luke told Noah that no matter what he was going to love him, that's what Noah could to cling to. He was the one that forced Luke to leave and now that was all he had left.

And was going to have to be enough.

At least for now.

At least until he got his eyesight back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are liking the ride on this one.  
> Stay Tuned!


	8. Messages Waiting

"What are we going to do when Katie comes home?" Luke asked as he and Reid lay in his bed. After their make-out session, they showered, had some lunch and ended up back in bed. Luke could not remember ever having sex this much with Noah before. But in his defense, Luke had been celibate for nearly five months. The stop cap could only hold for so long.

"Why?"

"Well, I don't know about you, but don't want **_this_** to end," Luke answered and then gestured between them. "And I don't think that she is going to like knowing that her roommate is having sex right across the hall from her son."

Luke did have a point. Reid didn't talk to Katie about his sex life. It never came up and he had no intention of starting anything while he was here. But, then again, there was no denying Luke Snyder.

"Not to mention, you like to get a _little_ loud when you're about to cum," Reid teased and then rolled Luke onto his back. Reid settled his body between his thighs and rested his chin on Luke chest. Reid looked into Luke's soft brown eyes while Luke ran his fingers through Reid's hair. He felt an overwhelming sense of calm come over him; Luke had a big hand in that. He was relaxed and at ease. He hadn't felt this good in a long time. Maybe Oakdale was starting to grow on him. A question had been bouncing around in his head for a while; Reid didn't want to ask, but he needed to.

"So, are you and Noah really broke up?"

"Um, well, yeah. He said that we shouldn't be around each other anymore. We have broken up so many times, but I think this may be it. He can't forgive me for what happened."

"What did happen? If you don't mind me asking," Reid slid up and laid next to Luke. He curled his right arm under his head and settled in. Luke rolled onto his side to face Reid. He played with Reid's left hand while he spoke; he was nervous and he was fidgeting just a bit.

"We had been fighting, quite a bit lately. Mostly about not seeing each other and about Noah's advisor, Mason. He had made a couple passes at Noah and told me out right that he was going to go after him. Even kissed him while he was supposed to be supervising his set. His cameraman even caught it on film. Well, I went to my father, Damian, to vent. I just wanted someone to agree with me that it was wrong. Noah didn't see it that way. He thought it was harmless. Anyway, I showed Damian the kiss and then when I went to see Noah on his set later, everything fell apart. Mason got fired and Noah blamed me because Damian went to the Dean with the proof. I never asked Damian to do that, I didn't ask him to do anything. Well, Noah and I were arguing when he started to rig his fireworks for a scene he was about to shoot. The fireworks exploded in his face and he fell about a story down and landed at my feet. I was so scared. And well, you know the rest."

"And he blames you?"

"Yeah, for everything; about Mason and about the explosion. He thinks that if he hadn't been distracted by me and rushing to get his film done, then he would have noticed that fireworks were not set up right and the explosion wouldn't have happened. I don't know."

"I'm sorry Luke,"

"Thanks. He just can't forgive me and I am tired of feeling guilty all time. And then I realized something."

"What?"

"That my life with him, a great as it was, was difficult. I mean, relationships are hard, I know that. But our relationship was hard from the start. His dad hated me and blamed me for "turning his son gay". He even tried to kill me."

"He what?!" _What world had he fallen into._

"Yeah. He took Noah and me on a fishing trip to show us that he was ok with us being together. Well, on the first day up there, he tried to shoot me. He did shoot me actually. Here," Luke rolled away slightly and showed Reid the small scar were the bullet entered his back. Reid softly ran his fingers over the raised skin. Luke felt a shiver slid up his spine. He turned back to face Reid. "I was paralyzed for several months. Noah was the one who helped me walk again. But I never blamed him for what his father did. Noah had no control over what happened."

"Just like you."

"Maybe."

"No. If everything you say is true, then your father did what he wanted to do to protect you; like what Noah's dad for him. I guess this just proves that you're the better man," Reid said and a soft smile graced his face.

"You know, you're pretty hot when you smile. You should do it more often," Luke joked, he bit his lower lip as a sly smile crept out.

"Well, the frowning comes with the medical degree. It makes me more imposing, don't you think?" Reid teased. Luke pulled the sheet covering them away and straddled Reid's waist. Reid's hands rested on Luke's hips, he lightly brushed circles on Luke's hip bones with his thumbs.

"If I didn't know you, I'd think so, but I think I like this you better," Luke leaned forward, taking Reid's face in his hands and lightly kissed him. Luke caressed his cheeks, grazing his thumbs on Reid's high cheekbones. Both men deepened the kiss, each wanting to draw the other closer into him. As the intensity of the kiss increased and with Luke's weight on top him, Reid was starting to get hard. Luke could feel it under him. Knowing that he had this effect on Reid was so intoxicating. Noah was one thing. Luke was Noah's first boyfriend. So Noah's experience was limited. But with Reid, a man ten years his senior; Luke felt a lot of power knowing that he could turn this man on so easily. He was riding that rush when Reid sat up and drew them closer together. Luke wrapped his arms around Reid's shoulders and rocked his pelvis against Reid's. Both men moaned and they tightened their holds.

Neither one wanted what was happening between them to end.

And it wasn't at this rate or at least not until they ran out of condoms.

* * *

Noah called Luke a few more times before he gave up. He laid back on his bed and let his mind drift. Was Luke ignoring him on purpose? Why would he do that? As soon as that question entered his head, he knew the answer. Why wouldn't he? Luke had been trying to take care of him for months, but he was rebuffed at every attempt. Noah would say or do things that he knew would hurt Luke, but that didn't stop him. Luke would not be deterred, as long as there was hope for them. That eventually they would be able to start over. That if Luke was patient enough and loved Noah enough, they could overcome everything, but Noah didn't want any part of it. He used Luke as his own personal punching bag and Luke took every hit. That was until he told Luke that they should be apart. He was surprised that Luke didn't fight it. Luke was all about the fight.

Why did he not fight Noah?

Maybe Lucinda was right. Luke was willing to go without to make Noah happy. He gave Noah exactly what he asked for; for them to not be around each other anymore.

The first of Noah's biggest mistakes.

* * *

Luke finally managed to pull himself away from Reid after being with him for nearly 24 hours. He thought it would be a good idea if he left before Katie got home. He just didn't want to explain what he was doing with Reid. He wasn't even sure what Reid was to him.

Friend?

Lover?

Fuck buddy?

Boyfriend?

The last one was a no. But he wasn't quite a friend, but he was more than the other two choices. He _did_ know that he did want to keep seeing Reid. He enjoyed the time they shared and not just the sex parts. Reid could be quite charming when he wanted to be and he was so sweet when he made Luke breakfast. He caught himself smiling while he thought about him as he drove back to the cabin. Especially that thing he did with his tongue when he went down on him. Luke had to distract himself while he drove otherwise he was going to turn the car around and go back to Oakdale.

He popped his phone into his hands-free holder and listened to his messages. There were six from his mom, four from his dad, one from his grandmother, and one from Noah. What did he miss today?

" _Luke, its your mom. Please call me baby. I just want to know if you're ok,"_

" _Luke. It's dad. Listen, you really need to call home. We are worried and we want to be sure that you're all right,"_

" _Luke. This is my second message, please call me as soon as you get this,"_ his mom's voice was getting wobbling in that message. The next two were her and she was sounding a bit more frantic in each. The ones from his dad he was sounding angrier.

" _Luke, this is your grandmother. Listen darling, I talked to your mom and dad and told them that I knew where you were and told them not to worry. They thought that Damian kidnapped you, but that doesn't matter. Just call your mom and then me. Or I will tell Holden where you are,"_

Luke hung up his voicemail and dialed home. The phone rang twice and his mom picked up.

"Luke!"

"Hi mom."

"Honey, are you all right?"

"Yes, mom. Grandmother made sure that I have everything I need. I'm sorry that I worried you."

"Don't think about that now. We talked to your grandmother and we understand why you felt you needed to leave."

"You do?" He was getting closer to the cabin and he was going to loose signal soon.

"Yes sweetheart. Your dad and I are sorry that we weren't there for you more. We didn't mean to ignore what you were, are, going through."

"It's ok mom. I'm going to come home in a few days I promise. And mom,"

"Yes baby?"

"I love you,"

"I love you too. Be careful,"

Luke suddenly felt better for just leaving and not telling his parents of his plans. He knew if he told them they would have tried to talk him out of it. He needed time to think and not have to deal with his family drama. Luke needed to get his head around everything on his own. He pulled into the driveway and parked near the door. He then remembered that he had another message on his phone. This one was from Noah. He turned his car off and dialed his voice mail.

"You have one new message," the robotic voicemail said to him. As soon as the his voice entered Luke's ear his heart sunk.

" _Luke, its Noah. I'm just wondering if you're ok. I haven't talk to you in a few days. Um, yeah, bye,"_

Luke sat in the car for a few minutes trying not cry. _How can he keep doing this to me?_ Noah told him that they shouldn't be around each other anymore and then he calls him. Drags him back. If Luke wasn't so heartbroken about their relationship, he'd be angrier than hell. He was not playing fair. He leaned back into his head rest and let the tears fall. He was surprised back to reality when his cell rang. He looked at the display and smiled through his tears.

"Hi," he said as he flipped open his cell. He sniffed back the tears and coughed slightly.

"Hey. Are you ok?" Reid asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. What's up?"

"Well, I think I have our bedroom problem figured out. Will you meet me at elevator 3 in the Lakeview Lobby at 7pm tonight?" Reid asked and he was almost bouncing with excitement. He could not wait to get Luke alone in a room with a huge bed and no interruptions. He heard Luke laugh before he responded.

"Yeah, I'll pick some supplies," Luke responded with a sly grin on his face. He could hear the excitement in Reid's voice.

"Sounds good. Bye."

"Bye."

* * *

Reid dropped his cell into his pocket and went into his next appointment. Sitting on the exam table was Noah Mayer. Reid steadied himself and closed the door.

"Good morning Mr. Mayer," Reid said in his best even tone. He didn't want to let anyone know what was going on. It wasn't exactly unethical, but he didn't want any look of impropriety on his part. Plus he was afraid that if anyone knew about him and Luke, that Luke would want to end it. He was starting to be ok with the thought that he was Luke's dirty little secret.

"I'm fine, thank you. Having a little trouble sleeping. Luke moved out the other day,"

"Really?" He asked, trying to sound as ambivalent as he could. He didn't look up from his paperwork.

"Look. The whole thing about Luke and me being apart, I don't know if I can do it,"

"Noah, this is about you and your recovery. I just don't think that the stress that your relationship causes you is good for your health. At least not now," Reid told Noah and he saw the brunette nodding in response.

"Maybe you're right. I mean I'm gonna get my eyesight back and then Luke and I can try again,"

"Of course," Reid remarked. "Let's look at where we are and then I can start to develop some therapies for you," Reid started his exam of Noah and tried not to think about what he just told Noah. He should feel guilty about misleading Noah about his relationship with Luke and he did. Sort of. It was Noah's choice to follow his instructions the way he did; just like it was Luke's to come his place last night. He wasn't forcing them to be apart, but he didn't want what he and Luke were doing to end. At least not yet.

* * *

At 7pm, Reid was standing outside the elevator and he was pacing. He was nervous, but he wasn't sure why. He was anxious to see him. He had just seen him about 10 hours before, but he was excited to see that bright smile and kiss his soft lips. He turned towards the lobby and saw Luke. He was wearing a pair of dark jeans that fit his hips just right and his shirt was tight enough that he could see his muscles move underneath. He suddenly wanted to take him right there on the lobby floor. He was carrying a small paper bag and he smiled when he saw Reid waiting from him.

* * *

Casey was nervous as he paced in front of the bar in the Lakeview lobby. He was meeting Alison and her mother for dinner. He wasn't sure why he was nervous. He loved Alison and he knew that her mom would never try to spilt them up, but he was still on guard when she was around. She was an intimidating woman, but Alison loved her and she loved Alison. He was going to be on his best behavior. As he waited for Alison and her mom to arrive, could have sworn he saw Luke enter the lobby. He was walked past Casey and towards the elevators. What was he doing here?

* * *

"Hi," Reid said as Luke got closer..

"Hi. So what did you have planned?"

"You, me, a huge bed, and a locked door," Reid said as they walked up to the elevator. Luke pushed the call button and Reid softly brushed the back of his hand against Luke's. Luke looked over at him and they shared a soft smile. The elevator dinged and Reid stepped in just behind Luke. They were alone and Reid just could not resist. He grabbed Luke and pushed him against the back of the elevator. And crashed his lips into Luke's.

* * *

Casey came around the corner and saw Luke in the elevator with someone that was not Noah. Their kissing was obscured when the doors shut.

Casey felt like his world had been pulled out from under him


	9. Coffee and SURPRISE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!  
> I'm going to post three chapters as a gift!  
> Chapter 9, 10 and 11.

Luke was basking in the glow of yet another unbelievable orgasm when his cell buzzed that he had a text message. He rolled to his side and reached for his pants that lay in a heap next to the bed. He managed to grab the hem of the pant leg and pull them to him. He just did not want to get up; not sure if he could if he tried. He felt so relaxed and sore at the same time. Reid did know his way around all of Luke's favorite spots. He fished his cell out of his pocket and slid it open. It was a text from Maddie.

**" _Luke! Where are you! We are having coffee tomorrow and I will not take no for an answer!"_**

He smiled when he read the words. He could almost hear his short friend's voice in his head when he processed the words. He quickly typed a reply and put his cell back into his pocket. Reid came back into the room from the bathroom and saw Luke was awake.

Luke's hair was impossibly messed and he had a sleepy grin on his face. He just looked so cute right now. He saw that Luke had used his phone and was intrigued.

"What was that?"

"A friend, demanding coffee tomorrow," he said as he propped himself up on his elbows. Reid stood at the foot of the bed and leaned against the footboard. The bed creaked as he pressed his weight against it.

"Would this be a tall, brunette friend?" Reid asked. Luke was surprised and hoped that it didn't show on his face. He was jealous. Luke sat up and crawled towards Reid. He rose up onto his knees, which brought him face to face with the young doctor. Luke softly pecked Reid's lips, moved to his jaw, and then lingered on his neck. Reid could feel Luke's warm breath.

"No. A short brunette will bite like a pitbull. If I don't meet her, she'll hunt me down," Luke said as he lightly kissed Reid's neck. Reid felt himself relax after hearing that he was not meeting with Noah. Luke was not his to be jealous over, but the bond he shared with Noah was a strong one. He got that right off and Reid did not want to be apart from Luke yet. This train of thought fell away as Luke continued to lick, nibble, and suck at his skin. Reid's hands moved up Luke's arms and into his hair. He ran the silken strands through his fingers while Luke's very talented mouth moved down his chest. Luke lingered around Reid's left nipple, never actually touching it. He did the same with the right. This drove Reid absolutely crazy! He was winding Reid up.

Luke could feel Reid trying to control himself while he played with him. Reid's breathing was deep and shaky. He was gripping Luke's hair a little tighter with each lick or nibble. Luke slid one of his hands from Reid's ribcage and lightly grasped onto his hard cock. He felt Reid jolt and take in a sharp breath. He smiled into Reid's skin and continued with his movements. He wrapped his hand around Reid and slid his hand from head to base very slowly.

Reid felt like the top of his head was about to pop right off. Between the feeling of Luke's mouth on his chest and his hand on his cock, Reid was in sensory overload. He wanted to concentrate on everything, but found that extremely difficult at this moment. He couldn't be an immobile participant anymore. With a pull at the base of Luke's neck, he pulled Luke's mouth to his. He massaged Luke's tongue with his own and Luke moaned into his mouth. Reid climbed over the footboard and pushed Luke onto his back. Luke crawled back onto the pillows while Reid hovered over him. Luke could feel all his nerves anticipating what Reid was about to do. All of his muscles are taut and he just wanted to devour Luke. He slowly lower himself onto Luke and rocked his pelvis into Luke's. Luke gasped out loud as he felt Reid's hard cock rub against his own. His back arched away from the bed which drove him against Reid even harder.

Reid was enjoying the display underneath him. Luke was sexy as hell, that was obvious, but he felt so lucky to see Luke like this. Luke had told him that Noah was the only man he ever slept with and Reid was indulging in everything that was Luke. No wonder Noah was having a hard time being away from Luke. He and Luke had only been sleeping together for forty hours now and he was finding it near impossible to be away from him. Reid felt Luke's hands on his cock and a condom being slipped on. He actually growled when he saw the heat in Luke's eyes as he slid inside of him. Luke grunted as they moved against each other. Luke rocked into him; meeting his thrusts.

Being with Luke like this, Reid understood how someone could become addicted to sex.

Reid lightly kissed Luke as he left the next morning. He was going to miss that cute blonde today, but he hoped he'd see him after his shift today. He knew eventually they would have to face reality of what they were doing, but until then, he was going to enjoy the ride.

* * *

Luke had texted Maddie that he would meet her at Java at 1pm and he was late. Maddie kept looking at her watch and then looking at the door. She had finally gotten him to answer one of her dozen texts and convinced him to meet her. It wasn't until she got a call from Casey after she got that text, that she started to get anxious to talk to him. Casey told her that he saw Luke at the Lakeview kissing some random guy in the elevator. They looked like they had done it enough to be pretty familiar with each other. Casey didn't know who the guy was, but he was worried about Luke. He had already approached Luke at the cabin and thought it would a good idea for someone else to try. He didn't want to be the only friend looking out for him. Maddie told Casey not to worry, that she would talk to him.

Luke finally entered the coffee shop at 1:22pm. He looked a little sleepy and disheveled, but relaxed at the same time. The first thing she thought of was that he was drinking, but after seeing him walk to the table she thought better of it. Luke was a sloppy drunk and this was not sloppy drunk sitting in front of her.

Luke sipped his coffee and looked his friend while she looked at him.

"Maddie? Are you ok?"

"Yeah," she shook off the stare and turned her brain back on. "Sorry. I'm glad you came to meet me."

"What did you want to talk to me about?" he sipped his coffee and waited for the answer that he already knew.

"I'm worried about you."

"Why? I'm fine."

"Well, after seeing Noah, I figured you'd look the same."

"How is he?" Luke was nervous and anxious all of a sudden. He was obeying Noah's no contact rule and to be honest it hurt to be around him and not be with him, but that didn't mean he didn't want to know how he was doing.

"Ok. He is starting therapy today. Dr. Oliver gave a regime that he has to follow and then the surgery will hopefully come later. But you'd know this if you would talk to him," Maddie cut right to the quick. Luke scoffed at her remark and left his anger boiling up.

"You know, if I had known that you were going to jump down my throat about this, I wouldn't have showed up," he said and started to get up. Maddie clamped down on his wrist and wouldn't let go.

"I'm sorry. Look. Noah is at therapy right now, let's go to my place and we can talk there."

"Noah won't be there?"

"No, I promise," Maddie reinforced as she stood up. Luke nodded and they walked to her apartment.

* * *

The place was about a block from Olde Towne and looked pretty non-descript on the outside. They walked up to the third floor and inside. The place was small, but just right for two people. There was a kitchen with a small dinette table in the middle which connected to the living room. There were two doors side by side, which Luke assumed were their two bedrooms. They had mismatched furniture and there were still boxes scattered about the open floor plan. It honestly reminded Luke of his and Noah's first, and only, apartment.

The one that they shared for only three months.

"Are you sure that Noah isn't here?"

"Yes. He has therapy from 1:30 to 3:00 today. Now sit," she said as she dropped down onto the couch. Luke sat down at the other end and turned to face her. He suddenly felt like he was in front of a firing squad.

* * *

Noah rolled over in bed and slowly opened his eyes. He wasn't even sure why he opened them. He wondered if he would start to stop doing that. As if he would get out of the habit of opening them. He felt like crawling back under his covers and closing his eyes. Hopefully to sleep. The transition of sleeping with someone to sleeping alone had been a rocky one. Not feeling Luke body against his, listening to his soft breathing, or those fuzzy socks against his legs was a lot to miss. When he moved into Lily's house, he still had that comfort that Luke was still the same house, but now he didn't know where he was. Noah dropped his feet to the floor and reached for his cane. He was suddenly glad that his session was moved to tomorrow afternoon and not today. He just didn't want to be around anyone right now. He was hungry, so the plan was food and then was going to try calling Luke later. He walked to his bedroom door and heard voices. He turned his ear towards the door and heard two clear voices and his heart dropped.

One was Maddie and other was Luke.

He decided to wait and see. He needed to know what was going on with his boyfriend. He slowly sunk to the floor and sat as close to the door as he could. He just listened.

"So. You're seeing someone."

"What are you talking about?" Luke tried to evade the question, but Maddie wasn't buying it.

"Come off it Luke! A friend saw you kissing some guy in an elevator at the Lakeview," Maddie said and Noah felt his heart actually stop.

"Who saw?"

"I'm not telling. Is it true?"

"Yeah," Luke crossed his arms on instinct. Maddie was at one end of the couch and Luke at the other. Noah's head dropped back against the wall as his worst fear was realized.

"How long?"

"A few days."

"And you are already going to hotels with him? Luke." Her tone had dipped into disapproving and that made Luke even madder.

"What Maddie!? It is my life! And if I want to go to a hotel with him that is my business. My god! Really! Why is my life suddenly so important to everyone? I mean, no one was around when Noah was treating me that crap, for months, and really I needed someone, but now everyone wants to butt in! Seriously!" Luke was getting so angry and he deserved to be.

"What about Noah?" Maddie asked and Noah listened intently for his answer.

"What about Noah? He left _**me**_ Maddie. He broke up with _**me**_. How many times should I wait for him to make up his mind? This is not the first time he has left me! Why is this all my fault? I am so tired of feeling guilty, so I am having fun with someone else," Luke said and Noah felt his heart slowly being crushed in his chest. He always feared that if he pushed Luke away one too many times that he would leave him for good. God knows Noah had given him enough reasons to.

"I know, but he is really struggling Luke,"

"Again with the guilt. What Noah wants is all I have ever worked for. He was willing to give up on us, so, I decided that I would too. I could only fight for us for so long. Sometimes loving a person is just not enough. You of all people knows that," Luke said and Maddie could only nod in agreement. The two friends sat in silence for a couple minutes until they heard a door creak open. Luke looked over his shoulder and saw Noah standing in his doorway.

Luke turned back towards Maddie with anger in his eyes.

"Nice Maddie. I thought ambushes were more Casey and Alison's speed," Luke spat out and move to get up.

"Maddie didn't know I was here. My session was pushed back to tomorrow."

"Well, I think I better get going. I have a piece that I have to finish for "First Edition". I'll see ya later Noah," Maddie quickly said as she grabbed her coat and was out the door. Luke groaned as she slipped out the door. He hated being surprised like this and was not going to wait to hear that everything was his fault again.

"I better go too," Luke said as he pushed himself to his feet.

"Don't go please."

"What about your rules?" Luke threw back at him.

"I just want to talk to you," Noah said in a sad voice. He knew that he was begging Luke to stay. He knew that he needed to do. Luke had no reason to stay. He did say that he still loved Noah and hoped that would be enough.

At least until he could figure out what came next.


	10. Boiling Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!  
> I'm going to post three chapters as a gift!  
> Chapter 9, 10 and 11.

Noah sat on the opposite end of the couch from Luke and they fell into an awkward silence. Neither one knew where to even start. Luke was trying to hold back on his anger. He was having a hard time believing that Maddie didn't know that Noah was here. Noah concentrated on what he was hearing and feeling. He could hear Luke breathe; long breaths to calm himself. He could feel Luke's knee bounce, lightly shaking the couch; he was nervous. Noah felt some comfort that Luke was as nervous as he was. Noah even heard Luke's phone vibrate that he had a text message. He heard Luke type something back and then he closed his phone.

"Was that from him? The guy you're seeing?" He asked and almost regretted the words as soon as they came out.

"Is that why you wanted to talk to me? Find out about him?" Luke was immediately on the defensive. As soon as he saw Noah tense up, he wished he hadn't said it like that.

"No. I'm just curious that's all," he hoped that he sounded convincing. He was trying to go for supportive, but ambivalent; enough though he felt neither.

"Yeah, we're arranging for time to meet later," Luke regretted what he just said. He could have waited to text Reid back. He didn't want to hurt Noah anymore than he already had. He was about to apologize when Noah asked him a question.

"Is it serious?" Noah was fidgeting with his cane. It had become a nervous habit of his. Whenever he was nervous or anxious he would twist it in his hands or lightly tap it on the floor.

"I don't know. We just started to ah...I don't know what it is actually,"

"Are you happy?" Noah's voice was very quiet; almost as if even _**he**_ didn't want to hear the question.

"I...," Luke was hesitating on purpose. How do you answer a question like that? He started things with Reid when he was at his lowest point, but now?

"It's a simple question Luke. Does he make you happy?" Noah's voice was a little more demanding this time. He was trying to stay calm even though his heart was pounding and his stomach was in knots.

"He makes me feel wanted and needed and, yes, I'm happy when I'm with him," he answered without thinking about it. A real answer that even Luke didn't realize was there. Luke said those words and Noah had to close his eyes. It felt like a punch in his stomach.

"Do I know him?"

"Noah, don't...," Luke finally looked at Noah. He could see that Noah was angry. Then he wondered what for? Was he jealous? Why? Noah left him. Noah had been extremely distant since the accident and now he was angry because Luke had decided to move on.

"Do I know him Luke?" Noah's voice raised and he was demanding an answer.

"Yeah, you do." This was escalating and there was not way to stop it now.

"Who is it?" As Noah's anger grew so did the pace at which he was tapping his cane on the floor. Sounded like a woodpecker was in the apartment.

"....."

"Come on, I think I have the right to know who's dating my boyfriend," Luke heard Noah say those words and his anger exploded. He was up on his feet and standing right in front of Noah. Noah felt him stand up from the couch and rose to his feet to meet him.

"Whoa, I'm not you're _**anything**_. You lost any right to know anything about me. You left _**me**_ remember. You told me to leave you alone. You wanted to throw two years together away. I have lived through too many break ups with you to just sit around this time,"

"So, as soon as we break up you hop into bed with the next warm body that gave you a little bit of attention. That's pathetic Luke," Noah said and heard Luke lightly gasp in shock. That gasp was like a stab in Noah's heart.

"So, that how you see me? Is that how little you think of me? Well, it's a good thing that you dumped me when you did. Hell, I might have started screwing every gay guy in town. It was probably just a matter of time right. Your dad must have been right about me all along," hearing Luke talk about himself that way made Noah's stomach clench. "I have done nothing, but support you and be there for you since the accident.,"

"And if you had just minded your own business in the first place, it was an accident that wouldn't even have happened!"

"Oh my God! After all of this, you're still blaming...," Luke paused to steady his voice. He could feel the emotion trying to push its way out. He looked away from Noah, he had to. He eyes dropped to floor; stared at a spot just the right of his left shoe. "You know what? I'm done. I am so done. I am getting dizzy while you figure out what it is that you want."

"What does that even mean?"

"Well, first you want Maddie, then you want me, but no you really love Maddie. Then we get together, but wait here comes Ameera, so then we can't be together because she's your wife. Then you leave me because of what happened with your dad and for getting Ameera arrested. _**You**_ break up with _**me**_ , but then get jealous when you see me talking to Reg. We get back together again because you say you want me, but you decide to enlist. We get back together _**again,**_ but there's the election, then Brian, then Mason, then your accident. Did I miss anything?" Noah had to swallow hard while Luke replayed their entire relationship and he had no response. Luke walked around the coffee table to leave and was halfway to the door when he comes back. "You know, I am sick to death of getting blamed for everything that goes wrong between us. I am just too tired to fight anymore; I just can't do it. It hurts too much to do this anymore," Luke's voice cracked and his eyes filled with tears. Noah could tell by his voice that he was trying not to cry. "I feel like I have been fighting for two years for this to work and I just cannot do it. I am just so tired of this. So if you want me gone, I'm gone and you won't have to worry about _**avoiding**_ me anymore. I'll make it easy for you."

"Luke, wait," Noah said, trying to get Luke just to stay for a minute until he could think of something. He let his anger get away from him. He didn't mean what he just said about the accident.

"Wait for what? For you to want me again? For you to realize that you miss me? You were not the only one in this relationship Noah. Everything that affects you, affects me too. You act like you're alone in this, but I was hurt too. You don't want me to go, but you _**definitely**_ do not want me to stay. So I wish you well. I really do. Take care of yourself," and he was gone. Noah heard the door slam so hard that the pictures on the walls shook from the vibrations. Noah sat and took in what Luke said, but instead of thinking about what he said, Noah could only feel his heart ache. He had finally done it. He drove Luke away.

* * *

Luke was so angry when he left Noah's that he drove straight to the Lakeview. His grip on the steering wheel actually made his hands hurt. He called Reid on the way and asked him to meet him in the elevator. Reid was standing in the elevator with his hands on the railing and his head resting against the back wall. Luke breathed out a sigh of relief as soon as he saw the redhead and walked inside. He was dressed in his casual look that Luke loved so much; he was even bare foot. Reid straightened up as he saw Luke come into view. Luke stepped into him, slid his hands around Reid waist and buried his face in his neck. Reid wrapped his arms around Luke's shoulders and held close to him. They were so close, Reid and Luke could feel the other breathe. They were silent the entire ride to the 12th floor. When they got back to the room, Luke said he wanted to shower and he wanted Reid to join him. There was nothing sexual in his request. He just wanted to feel someone else with him. While Reid was massaging the tension out of Luke's shoulders, he asked Luke if he wanted to talk about it, but all Luke wanted was Reid. And for his part the young doctor was ok with that.

* * *

Maddie came home about an hour later and found Noah sitting in the living room on the couch. He was just sitting. There was nothing on; lights, stereo, TV. The apartment was as quiet and dark as a church on Monday. Maddie quietly hung her coat in the closet and put her bag down. She was trying to be as quiet as she could. He looked like he hadn't moved in some time and she didn't want to jar him. She softly walked over to Noah, flipped on the light near him and crouched down next to him. She looked up at him and saw his eyes were red and bloodshot. He had been crying and Maddie wondered for how long.

"Noah? Sweetie? What happened? Where's Luke?" She asked; looking around the apartment. It looked nearly the same as it did when she left. Save the picture frame that had been hanging on the wall that was now on the floor, small glass shards on the tile by the door.

"I finally did it," his voice was a ghost of its normal level. She almost didn't recognize it. He never looked up to the direction of her voice.

"Did what?" She asked as she rubbed his back in wide circles.

"I drove him away. He finally saw through me. I hurt him real bad Maddie," he said and then had to choke back a sob. Maddie sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug. He cried on her shoulder and she didn't say anything.

There was really nothing she could say.


	11. Three Weeks Later...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!  
> I'm going to post three chapters as a gift!  
> Chapter 9, 10 and 11.

Reid lightly brushed hair off Luke's face as he was making his out to work. He softly kissed his temple before he slipped out. Luke had pretty much moved into his room at the Lakeview since that afternoon he called him from his car. Luke was supposed to be having coffee with his friend Maddie. Reid was surprised when Noah's name came out. Luke sounded so upset. He was angry, that was obvious, but he also sounded so hurt and all Luke wanted was him. He wanted to protect Luke. Hold him in his arms and just be there if he needed anything; that was nearly three weeks ago now. Reid was surprised by how much he wanted Luke.

It wasn't about the sex, not anymore.

At first that's what the draw was. They fought and argued and having sex was an extension of that anger. Luke was insatiable. He was up for whatever Reid initiated. They would stay in bed for hours; memorizing every inch of each other. Reid now knew every place where Luke liked to be touched. Late at night when they were too tired to do anything else, they would talk about everything. How they grew up; Reid was surprised to find out about Damian. Reid thought that Luke must have lived a charmed life. Growing up in the richest family in town, but to have your own father use him like that. It broke Reid's heart when he heard that. To see how raw the wound still was nearly ten years later. Being the oldest male child in his family, Reid knew what it was like to try to gain acceptance in your father's eyes. Then to hear how Luke's father used him again right before Reid came to Oakdale. Reid was seeing an entirely different side of the pushy blonde that he met nearly six weeks before.

He couldn't stand the guy. He was spoiled and bratty and seemed to have this feeling of entitlement that drove Reid crazy, but his opinion of Luke started to change when he ran into Luke in the hospital lobby. Seeing the hurt and defeat in his eyes. He wasn't angry or spiteful over what Reid said to Noah. Luke was willing to sacrifice so much for his boyfriend. That one moment started to change his view of young Mr. Snyder. He still wasn't sure why he had kissed Luke two days later when he was confronted in the hospital locker room. Of course he found Luke attractive, who wouldn't, but that wasn't why he told Noah to keep Luke away from him. He really disliked him. He thought he was a snob who had no problem pushing people around to get what he wanted. When Luke told Reid that Noah broke up with him; he was shocked. He had no idea why Noah broke up with Luke; that was not Reid's intention. He just did not want to see him.

But that one kiss.

That kiss changed everything. It was like the gateway drug that led to him wanting Luke. He wanted to taste more; to see more; to feel more of Luke. Thinking back on it, Reid was so glad that his shift had ended just before the kiss happened; he would not have been able to concentrate on anything else.

At first it was just the sex, but not anymore. It hadn't been for awhile and he was just starting to acknowledge that fact.

Because there was no denying Luke Snyder.

He was a force of nature wrapped in an Armani suit. He was passionate; he owned for a shipping conglomerate and still managed to donate time to his foundation. A foundation that he started on his own with his own inheritance. Most kids get that much money and it corrupts them. Luke did the opposite and used it to make things better. He was also very loyal; almost to a fault. He was willing to trust Damian again after the dust up when he was 15; Reid wasn't sure he could be that generous. He was funny and smart. His heart was even bigger than his brain. He put himself last constantly to be sure that everyone else was comfortable and happy. His happiness came from seeing others happy. That selflessness was very appealing to Reid. Luke was a one of kind and Reid was becoming more and more thankful that Luke was in his life.

* * *

Those three weeks were filled with the same for Noah. The morning after that huge fight with Luke, Noah woke up with the worst feeling. It was like he had a hangover. He felt sick and he was tired, but it was everything that Luke said that made him ill. He was having Luke withdraw. He and Maddie sat in the quiet for a few more hours that night. He cried and she listened to him talk. He really talked. He told her everything; everything he should have said to Luke. When he woke up that morning, the first thing he did was call Dr. Oliver. He wanted to set up his therapy. He was willing to do anything.

He poured himself into his therapy sessions. He followed all the directions that Dr. Oliver had given him. He took the drugs that he was prescribed. He did the physical therapy that was required of him. Maddie was concerned that Noah was doing too much. He commonly suffered from severe headaches that left him in bed after his sessions. Maddie was sure that Noah was doubling up his sessions. Pushing himself harder than he should. He was driven in a way that she had not seen in a very long time. He was fighting to get his life back. Deep down she knew why he was fighting so hard.

Luke.

Noah was still holding out hope that Luke and he could have their life together again. She stood by while Noah pushed Luke away and that was a regret that she was going to have to live with. But she was not going to let her friend delude himself into thinking that Luke was going to come back if and when Noah's sight returned.

Noah collapsed on the couch after coming home from his latest session. His head was pounding and his eyes were burning. He was seeing progress though. He was able to see light changes. It wasn't total blackness anymore. There was hope for him now. Hope that everything was working; that his sacrifice was worth it. Hearing Luke's words in his head was motivation enough for him.

" _For you to want me again? For you to realize that you miss me? You were not the only one in this relationship Noah. Everything that affects you, affects me too. You act like you're alone in this, but I was hurt too."_

" _You don't want me to go, but you_ _ **definitely**_ _do not want me to stay."_

Maddie came into the apartment and saw Noah on the couch with his eyes closed. She quietly hung up her coat and walked over to him. Noah stirred slightly when he realized that someone was here. Without even thinking, Noah uttered, "Luke?"

"No, it's me," she replied as she sat on the edge of the couch near Noah's feet. He sat up slightly and made room for her.

"I must have been dreaming,"

"How are you today?" She asked as she lightly rubbed his shin.

"Fine, I just have a headache," he and Maddie both finished his sentence.

"Are you sure that you're not pushing yourself too hard?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, the headaches and the medication that's making you nauseous," Maddie said and she watched his expression; his eyebrows shot up slightly. "Yeah, Noah, I hear you in the bathroom getting sick,"

"The PT said that the headaches are normal and I only get sick if I don't eat when I take them," he sat up fully now and crossed his legs in front of him. "I have to do this Maddie. I don't want to live my life this way,"

"Noah, have you tried talking to Luke?" Maddie asked him. He moved his feet to the floor and stood up.

"He doesn't want to see my Maddie," he said as he stepped around the couch and stood behind it.

"I'm just worried that you are pushing yourself so hard to get Luke back. What if he doesn't come back?" She was just vocalizing what Noah was thinking himself, but he just didn't want to admit it.

"I can't think about that now," he said as he pushed the thought out of his head. Maddie stood up and walked around the couch and stood beside him.

"Well, I think you should. Listen," she grabbed his arm and turned him toward her. "I love you and Luke together, but what if you doing all of this and hurting yourself in the process doesn't change his mind?" Maddie took Noah's hands in hers. She held tight to him and Noah was reassured that Maddie was just looking out of him.

"He is everything to me Maddie. I hurt him; probably worse than I have before. He doesn't believe that I want him anymore. I have to prove to him that I do. And the only way I can do that is to first get my sight back,"

"How hard are you willing to push yourself? Until you get hurt?"

"If I have to," Noah admitted. He hated the medicine and the exercises, but the idea of not having Luke in his life hurt much worse. Honesty, it was torture.

* * *

Reid came in after a rather long day at the hospital and dropped down onto his bed. Luke was sitting at the desk busily typing away as he watched the red head just lay there. He laughed at the sight of Reid, fully clothed, coat and tennis shoes, just lie there on his stomach with his face buried in the comforter.

"Long day?"

A muffled yes came out of Reid as he lay on top of the blankets, unmoving. Luke pushed away from the desk, walked over and pulled Reid's shoes off. Reid smiled as Luke reached under him and removed his jacket. Reid just laid there and let Luke do all the work. Luke removed his blue scrubs shirt and dark blue undershirt. He leaned forward and lightly kissed down Reid's spine. He could feel Goosebumps run up his body as he felt Luke's breath on his back. He felt Luke move and his weight was off the bed. He looked behind him and saw no Luke, but he heard him in the bathroom.

"Don't move!" Luke yelled out into the room.

"Yes, sir!" Reid answered back and he lay back down on his stomach. He heard the light switch off, the bathroom door open and then he felt Luke straddle him; a knee next to each hip. He loved the feel of Luke's weight on top of him. He heard a snap of a flip top bottle, a hint of vanilla, and then he felt Luke's hands on his back. He slowly rubbed vanilla lotion into his back. Reid did not hold back the long moan that came out of him. This simple massage was one of the most erotic things that Reid had ever experienced. The smell of the vanilla, the weight of Luke on top of him, Luke's hands lightly grazing his skin, and not being able to see the sexy blonde all wrapped up into something that was turning him on more than anything. Luke leaned down and softly kissed the back of Reid's neck and nibbled on his earlobe; Reid could also feel Luke's warm chest on his back. Luke had removed his shirt when he went searching for the lotion.

"HMMMM! What got into you today?" Reid asked as he continued to receive an amazing massage.

"I have good news," Luke playfully whispered in his ear as his hands never stopped moving.

"Really? I like good news. What kind of good news?"

"You don't have to share this tiny little room with me anymore."

"What?" Reid was surprised by what he just said. He turned over with Luke was still above him; now he was straddling Reid's waist, looking down at him. "Luke, you don't have to leave. Did I ever make you think that I didn't want you here?"

"No, but I just figured that you'd want your privacy and..." Reid cut him off; he sat up and took Luke's face in his hands.

"Luke, I'm not Noah. I want you to be here with me," Reid said as he lightly brushed his thumbs on Luke's cheeks. His cheeks flushed with embarrassment and he nodded.

"Well, too late. I already signed the lease."

"The what?"

"I got an apartment. I figured, I'm getting paid pretty well at Grimaldi I might as well spend some of it."

"Oh, ok. Then it's decided then," Reid said with slight disappointment.

"Well, you could always have sleepovers, once in a while," Luke said with a sly grin and an raised eyebrow.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I mean I know, I've been squatting here for the past few weeks, but I'm not really ready for us to be living together and I...," Reid captured Luke's mouth with a kiss. Luke's surprise was short lived and he wrapped his arms around Reid and pulled them closer together.

Reid pulled back and looked up at a breathless Luke. His face was flushed, his eyes were closed, and his mouth was slightly open. Luke slowly opened his eyes and was welcomed with a smiling Reid.

"This is enough for me. Besides, you probably have some really weird habits that, quite frankly, would ruin the fantasy."

"Oh really," Luke said as he grabbed at Reid's sides. Luke had learned a couple weeks ago that Reid Oliver is quite ticklish. He flinched back as Luke tickled him again. Reid grabbed at Luke's hands to break up the onslaught. The two men fought for dominance as Luke tried to tickle him some more. With Luke's wrists secured, Reid tilted his hips and rolled Luke onto his back. He pinned Luke's hands above his head and both men gasped from the exertion. He lay between Luke's thighs and his chest was flush against Luke's.

"Well, we seem to be at an impasse Dr. Oliver," Luke playfully said as he gave up.

"Well, my dear Mr. Snyder, I can think a few things I can do."

"Really? Show me."

"With much pleasure," Reid said then closed the distance between them.


	12. Halloweens Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Luke and Noah fun in this one.

Luke had been moved into his new apartment for nearly two weeks now. He liked the freedom that having his own place lent him. He never regretted living at home with his family. He loved being around his siblings and his parents. Even when most of his friends had moved out or into dorms during college, he loved being with his family. Waking up to the chaos made him smile, but there was something to be said about being in your own place. He had managed to get into the same building that his cousin Katie was living in, which made it easier for Reid when he came over to stay. Reid also liked Luke's new place. They could sit up talking or **_other_** things until all hours and not worry about any kind of interruptions.

The apartment was two floors below Katie's and was only a two bedroom instead of her three. Even though the layout was the same, where hers was whites and grays, Luke's was creams and browns. Luke's favorite piece of furniture was the huge leather sofa that his grandmother insisted he take. He laid down for a second after it was delivered and fell right to sleep. Now on the weekends, he never leaves that sofa. Curling up with Reid has turned into one of his favorite past times.

Luke dragged in another five boxes that he had stored at the farm after he and Noah gave up their apartment. He was suddenly very glad that he had divided his and Noah's things when he packed everything up. They had been on shaky ground after his accident and Luke had a feeling that things might turn out this way. He wanted to be wrong. He really did. He wanted to be with Noah, right now, but that wasn't how things were working out. He hated all of this, but he wasn't going to sit around and wait for Noah to remember how great they were together. It just hurt too much to think about it. He shook off the tears that wanted to come and dove back into his unpacking.

He had the boxes stacked around him the floor and was sorting what he could. Things that were staying went in one pile; things that were going back to the farm for storage went into another; and things he weren't sure about went into another. He was through two boxes and into the third when he found it. It was the red bandana. It still had the knot it was tied in the last time Luke saw it. Luke turned the red cloth over in his hand as he remembered Noah's Halloween costume.

* * *

He looked so cute, yet so dorky as a farmer. Luke tried to tell him that farm boys do not dress that way, but Noah would not hear of it. Luke thought that he would have looked much better dressed as a cowboy, but Noah was set. He was going to be a farmer and that was that.

Luke relented. He was excited to get all dressed up and go out with his boyfriend. Their first Halloween together was not something that he wanted to remember; anything would be better than that. Falling out of his wheelchair in the middle of Olde Towne was not a memory he wanted to relive. This was going to be fun. Getting dressed and going to party with Noah. Maybe then he could forget last year. He jumped down the stairs and into the kitchen dressed as a pirate; swinging his play sword back and forth. Making lame dirty jokes about making Noah "swab his deck" or how Luke wanted to "walk his plank". Then the video exploded. That stupid video that Mark Vero put up on UsTube and that was probably going to set his campaign back and the even stupider fight he had with Noah outside of Yo's. Noah left him there and he was still fuming when he found him a half hour later at the farm.

Noah was still in his farmer outfit with his socked feet on the coffee table when Luke came into the parlor. Noah was eating some of Grandma Emma's maple pecan popcorn with a huge glass of milk. He was upset; Luke could see that.

"Hey."

"Hey," Noah answered in a soft voice. He leaned back into the sofa and watched Luke come in from the kitchen. Luke eyes were angled toward the floor as he walked deeper inside the room. Noah was watching "The Third Man"...again. He couldn't help but smile slightly. Noah caught this and asked him about it. "What's so funny?"

"You. I can tell you're really upset right now," Luke said and he heard Noah scoff lightly. "I know you're upset because you're watching "The Third Man". You always watch it after we fight. You are also eating a lot of sweets, which you only do when you're really upset," Luke said as he slowly made his way over to the sofa and sat down at the other end. Noah watched Luke and put all of his snacks on to the coffee table. "I feel like a broken record sometimes, but I'm really sorry about tonight,"

Noah turned toward Luke and waited to hear what he was sure Luke had been practicing the whole way home. He sat sideways on the sofa and watched Luke. He was so cute when he got flustered. He fidgeted and couldn't keep still. Noah had to bite the inside of his lip to keep from smiling.

"You were right. Even though this was a huge thing, I should have listened to you and let it go just for tonight. I mean, there really isn't anything I can do about it tonight anyway. I should have just gone to the party with you and had fun. I mean, our first Halloween pretty much sucked, there is no reason why this one should too...," Noah cut Luke off by grabbing him by the front of his shirt and pulling the blonde's mouth to his. Luke felt the shock wear off quickly and he grabbed Noah's overalls; pulling them even closer.

"You're forgiven," Noah breathed out against Luke's lips. Luke rested his forehead against Noah's and took in some slow deep breaths. His heart was racing and he needed to calm down before he passed out. Luke was suddenly extremely relieved that Grandma Emma had taken the kids to a Halloween party at the local rec center leaving the house empty.

It was after kisses like that that had Luke feeling like he was drowning in Noah. There was really no other way to describe it. He was breathless, he was disoriented, and the only thing he could feel was Noah's lips and tongue, and his heat racing. Luke didn't say anything. He reached up and untied Noah's red bandana; slowly pulling it away from Noah's neck. Luke could see Noah's eyes getting darker and turning from soft crystalline to almost cobalt blue. Luke could feel the air in the room getting heavier and the hotter with every breath he took. He leaned forward and took Noah's bottom lip in between his. Noah moaned into Luke's mouth and got lost in the feel of Luke's tongue against his. He was so distracted he didn't feel what else Luke was doing. Before he knew it, Luke had tied Noah's hands together with his bandana. Luke grabbed onto Noah's secured hands and pushed Noah back on the sofa. Luke was now straddling the brunette's waist while he held Noah's hands over his head.

Noah was hard that instant.

They hadn't gone past heavy petting and hand jobs yet. He had never seen Luke so dominant before. It was very exhilarating. Luke was hovering over Noah; his face mere inches above Noah's. He could feel Luke warm breath on his face. Noah leaned forward trying to catch Luke's mouth, but Luke dodged Noah's attempts. Luke instead fixated on Noah's neck. He kissed along Noah's jaw and lightly nibbled on his earlobe. Noah's back arched and drove his aching bulge against his boyfriend's. Luke could feel how excited Noah was and that excited him. He wanted to play with Noah while also spoiling him. He licked and nibbled on Noah's neck. Noah was moaning and softly saying Luke's name while Luke undid the top two buttons on Noah's shirt. This revealed Luke's favorite spot on Noah; the muscle on his shoulder. Luke's hands opened the clasps of his overalls; Luke sat back and pulled them away. Noah could see how badly Luke wanted him. Luke was giving him that smoldering gaze that always gave Noah shivers.

With Noah's overalls pulled away, Luke tugged Noah's shirt up and off his body. He bunched the shirt around Noah's tied wrists; thereby making it impossible for Noah to move his hands. To further tease Noah, Luke started to undress. He sat back and locked eyes with Noah while he took off his shirt. Noah was watching the hottest thing he ever seen. Luke slowly took off his black vest and lifted his white shirt over his head. Noah got lost in the muscles that moved on Luke's sides. Seeing Luke's abs flex and smooth out made his pants even tighter. He needed to touch Luke; feel his soft skin under his fingers. He pulled against the bandana and Luke saw he was trying to break free. His hands grabbed at Noah's wrists and stilled the man under him. They were bare chest to bare chest; both breathing heavy.

"Luke. Untie me. Please. I need to touch you," Noah asked in a soft, but desperate voice.

"Not yet," Luke slyly responded and Noah actually whined in frustration. Luke laughed softly at his six foot man growing impatient as a child. Luke lightly kissed Noah's lips and went back to his teasing/spoiling task. His right hand softly rubbed Noah's nipple while Luke tongue flicked at the other. Noah groaned and not quietly. Both of them were suddenly very glad that no one was nearby. Luke smiled against Noah's skin as he moved to the other side. Noah's eyes closed and his back arched into Luke's hot tongue while he lapped at Noah's skin. Noah was in sensory overload. Feeling Luke on top of him and against him and licking him, Noah didn't know what to concentrate on. Luke moved on and started to lick down to Noah's stomach. He took in a sharp breath and Luke was treated with seeing Noah's six-pack flex. He had been addicted to this man's abs since the first time he'd seen them that night they went swimming at the pond. Luke distracted Noah by concentrating on his stomach so he could unclasp the sides of his overalls.

Luke stepped away and Noah was shocked back into reality. He felt his boyfriend's weight leave him and he opened his eyes. Luke was standing just to the side of Noah. He leaned forward and softly kissed him. Noah lurched forward; wanting to extend the kiss, but Luke pulled away too quickly. Noah groaned in frustration again. Luke reached Noah's hips and pulled his overalls all the way off. Luke stopped for a moment and just looked. He looked at Noah; his hands secured above his head, his chest moving up and down rapidly while he tried to catch his breath. Not to mention the tent in Noah's white briefs that Luke had inspired. Luke lightly cupped the bulge there and Noah pulled his bottom lip into his mouth while tried to hold back a scream.

Luke's hand left Noah and went to his own belt. Noah watched with glazed eyes while Luke undid his belt and removed his pants. Luke looked amazing in the soft light from the TV in just a pair of black boxer briefs. Luke was just as excited as Noah was; evident by his bulge. He carefully straddled Noah's hips again and a shock ran through both of them as their bodies touched. They had never been this naked with each other before. Most of the time it was quick and fast to avoid detection, but right now they were going to be taking time with each other. Luke softly ran his hands up Noah's stomach, across his chest and took his face his hands. He brushed his thumbs across Noah cheeks and just looked at him. Noah blushed under Luke's gaze.

"What?" Noah asked.

"You are so beautiful. I just can't get over it," Luke answered in a soft voice. Noah felt his heart swell. Luke just voiced what Noah is thinking every time he looks at Luke. To have someone else feel that way about him; Noah still could not believe that Luke was really his. He wanted to touch Luke even more after hearing Luke's declaration. Luke leaned forward and lightly kissed Noah. Luke moaned into Noah's mouth when the brunette deepened the kiss. Luke pulled away and rested his forehead against Noah's.

"I love you so much," Luke said breathlessly.

"I love you too," Noah said just as breathlessly.

Luke moved back to Noah's chest; licking, kissing, and nibbling down. Noah's head fell back as Luke neared his stomach. Noah's cock was just aching for attention. He caught himself thrusting into Luke; trying to relieve some of the pressure. Luke held tight to Noah's hips as he kissed across the edge of Noah's briefs.

"Oh Luke," Noah breathed out as Luke pulled Noah's underwear away. He was now completely naked in front of Luke. Seeing Noah with his hands tied laid out on his Grandma's sofa was almost too much for Luke bear. Feeling how excited Noah was under him was so intoxicating. Luke removed the rest of his clothing and straddled Noah. Both men groaned as their bodies came in complete contact with each other. Luke leaned forward and captured Noah mouth with his. Luke began to rock against Noah while Noah thrust into Luke. Their moan and groans echoed through the small parlor. Luke's fingers dug into the back of Noah neck while they moved against each other. Luke could feel he was getting so close to cumming. He softly bit at Noah's bottom lip.

"Are you close?" He whispered and a groan that sounded like yes came out of Noah. Both men doubled their efforts; moving against the other with much more force. Luke reached up and pulled the shirt off Noah's hands. Noah pulled his wrists free and grabbed onto Luke; pulling the blonde against him even harder. Noah sat up and pulled Luke's chest flush against his. Noah had one hand in Luke's hair and the other wrapped around his waist. He could feel Luke's skin getting moist with sweat.

"Cum with me Luke," Noah whispered and that was all it took. Luke and Noah both came in between their bodies. Noah tried to hold up Luke's weakening body, but his own strength was gone and then collapsed back onto the sofa; Luke resting on top of Noah. As they tried to catch their breaths, Noah massaged his fingers through the wet hair at the nape of Luke's neck.

"This Halloween is much better than last year's," Noah said which got a laugh out of Luke.

* * *

A knock at the door brought Luke out of his reminiscing. He shook off the daydream and went to open the door. When he opened it, there stood Reid holding two grocery bags. Luke put on a smile as he let the man in.

"Ok, have you ever had eggplant parmesan?"

"Yeah," Luke answered as he closed the door. Reid crossed the living room and went straight into the kitchen. He set the bags on the counter and Luke could see he was really excited.

"No, you haven't, because you haven't had _**my**_ eggplant parmesan," Reid declared while he took off his coat. Luke stood just inside the kitchen while Reid dug through the grocery bags stacking out various items. He was smiling. Luke always thought he had a nice smile, but he looked really happy right now.

"I know you don't drink, so I am going to forgo wine in the sauce and I'll...," Luke cut him off with a kiss. He took Reid's face in his hands and held the man to him. Reid wrapped his arms around Luke's waist to close any other gaps. Luke slid his tongue across Reid's; eliciting a moan of him. Luke wrapped his arms around Reid's neck as Reid slid one hand into Luke's silky hair. Luke turned the two of them and started to walk backwards, towards his bedroom. Reid didn't deviate and followed Luke inside. Leaving the groceries on the counter.

This was the first time, and more would follow, where Luke made love to Reid while thinking about Noah.


	13. One Step Closer

Luke and Reid sat at the table enjoying the eggplant parmesan that Reid made. They had changed into lounge pants and t-shirts. Reid insisted that Luke was only allowed to observe, but he was not to help. He told Luke it was because he wanted to treat him, but deep down, Reid was afraid of giving up control; at least that's what was running through Luke's mind. But that was all right with Luke. God knows he can't cook and he liked being waited on; spoiled a bit. They ate their dinner in relative quiet. Dinner had been delayed an hour after Luke pulled Reid into the bedroom. Reid didn't complain, he just wondered what got into Luke.

"Well?" Reid asked as he looked at Luke expectantly.

"You're right. This _**is**_ the best eggplant parmesan I have ever had. Thank you," Luke said with a mouth full of food. He leaned over and gave his boyfriend a light kiss. They had been seeing each other for nearly six weeks now. Luke was finally comfortable calling Reid his boyfriend. He still wasn't sure how Reid saw him, so he was going to keep that to himself.

"So, are you going to tell me what got into you today?" Reid asked as he took a drink of his sweet tea.

"Well, until about two hours ago, you," Luke answered in a cheeky grin and a wink.

"Ah, cute. I'm serious. Why did you almost jump me when I came in the door?"

"Well, you were being so sweet. Insisting on making me dinner and remembering that I can't drink. Not to mention, you always look so hot in your dark blue scrubs," Luke teased and then leaned toward the doc and gave him another quick kiss.

"Is that the only reason?" Reid asked; he was being so serious and Luke didn't like where this conversation was going. So he decided to play dumb.

"What other reason is there?"

"Noah," Reid tensed slightly as he waited for Luke to respond.

"No. And why would think that?" Luke asked; trying to hurry this conversation along.

"Well, you're going through boxes. Reminiscing. I just thought...," Luke cut him off with a deep kiss. He caressed Reid's cheek while the redhead slipped his hand into Luke's hair. Luke pulled away and looked Reid in the eyes. He wanted him to really listen.

"You are with me. You are my boyfriend. Noah is someone I care about, yes, but he is not with me. You are."

"Is that what I am? I am your boyfriend?" Reid asked and Luke was immediately transported to the same conversation he had with Noah over two years ago. When Luke was in the hospital and he wanted so badly for Noah to be his boyfriend.

"Yes. I would call you that," he said with a hesitant smile, waiting for Reid to answer.

"Good. Because I want to be your boyfriend. Honestly, I've wanted that for a very long time," Reid answered. He then swept Luke's bangs off his face and lightly brushed his thumb over Luke's cheek. Luke lightly kissed Reid and sat back in his own chair. He dug back into his food, but now he had a question.

"Wait. Why the question?"

"Huh?"

"Why ask me about before? Were you expecting another answer?" Luke leaned back in his chair and waited.

"Well, I wanted to know before I told you this," he wiped his mouth with his napkin and leaned back in his chair. "Noah's surgery is tomorrow,"

* * *

Six Hours Earlier...

Noah sat in the exam room in his blue gown and waited for Dr. Oliver. He had been doing everything that the Dr. Oliver asked of him. He followed his therapies to the "T". He was taking his medications. He was staying away from Luke; which was the hardest thing he had to do. The exercises were tough and the medication made him nauseous, but the not being able to be around Luke was the hardest order. He was nervous about his exam and Noah was dying to have Luke here. He was always able to put Noah at ease. The sound of his voice, the feel of his hand in his or on his cheek. He wanted so desperately to get better; he was willing to do anything. He knew that when he got his sight back, he would be back to his old self and he could get Luke back. They shared a history that no one else could beat. No matter whom this guy was he was seeing. Noah was betting it was Roth. He's liked Luke for a long time, but there were a handful of other guys on campus that Noah knew had a thing for the blonde. But who wouldn't. Luke was amazing. He was funny, smart, selfless and hot beyond all measure. But he also loved Noah; new boyfriend or not, Noah knew that was true. God willing, this time tomorrow, if Dr. Oliver ok'd the surgery, Noah would be on his way back to Luke.

"Good morning, Noah. How are you feeling today?" Dr. Oliver asked as he entered the exam room.

"Pretty good. I rarely get headaches after my physical therapy now and those light changes I was telling you about are getting stronger,"

"Well, I'll be the judge of that. Let's have a look here," Dr. Oliver said as he rolled a stool toward Noah and began his exam. He ran every test he had. Light tests and ex-rays. An ultrasound and a MRI. He even threw in a CAT Scan. Two hours later, when everything was done and Noah had changed back into his street clothes, Dr. Oliver came into the room and sat down. He held Noah's chart in his hands and was still making notes when Noah started to talk.

"Well, what's the verdict?"

"I'm impressed Mr. Mayer. You followed all my directions and I'm happy to tell you that we can go ahead with the surgery,"

"Really? Oh thanks God!"

"Don't go thanking me yet. I have to warn you. This procedure is not easy. It will take at least six hours and I cannot guarantee you that your sight will come back,"

"But before you said that you could. What changed?"

"Nothing. I said those things to get out of Oakdale. I wanted to get you in the table and be done with, but I am just being honest with you now. This is brain surgery. Now I am thee most qualified to do this in the country, but there are dangers too,"

"What kind of dangers?"

"Paralysis. Irreversible eye damage. Seizures. This is not a pretty thing Noah. You should have every confidence with me. I can do this surgery, but I wanted to give you the facts first,"

"In case I change my mind?"

"I want you to have all the facts before you sign the paperwork. I'm sorry that I didn't lay these out for you before."

"I still would have gone through these last six weeks."

"Now, if you're sure that you still want to go through this, I'll have a nurse draw up the paperwork and we can go over it."

"Yes. I need my life back. All of it and getting my sight back is just the first part. So, yes, I still want the surgery," Noah was as adamant now as he was six weeks before. Reid knew that when Noah said "all of it" he meant Luke. But that was not going to stop him from giving Noah the best care he could. He shrugged off the feeling and got back to work.

"All right. I'll get the nurse to draw up the paperwork and I'll be back in a few minutes," Dr. Oliver said and then got up and left Noah alone. Noah was so excited. He was finally going to get his sight back and then he could work on getting Luke back. He knew that he needed Luke in his life. There was no way around it. When he thought about his future with a husband and kids, Luke was the man he pictured. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell. He felt the buttons and hit memory two.

"Good afternoon, Grimaldi Shipping, how may I direct your call?"

"I need to speak with Luke Snyder please."

"Just one moment."

The canned music came into his ear and Noah stood up. He was nervous; he fidgeted a bit. He hadn't spoken to Luke in almost a month, but he needed to tell him his news. He had to reassure Luke that things were going to be better. That they could try again. He had to tell him. Reid stood just outside the door. He heard Noah ask to talk to Luke. He needed to know if Luke was going to talk to him.

"I'm sorry. Mr. Snyder is on a conference call at the moment. May I take a message?"

"Ah, no thank you. I'll try back later," he said and then he shut his phone. Reid breathed a short sigh and walked into the room.

"Ok, Noah. I have your paperwork right here. Was I interrupting a call?"

"No. I called Luke, but he was too busy to talk to me. These last six weeks have been really hard. I haven't talk to him in over a month. I guess I wanted to give him my good news. Or at least hear his voice."

"Well, I'm sure that you'll be able to talk to him later," Reid said in an ambivalent tone even though he wasn't. He wanted to keep Luke away from Noah. They were together now and he hadn't been this happy since college. Every day he got to spend with Luke made the rest of his time in Oakdale worth it. Luke was becoming so important to Reid that he was starting to get a little scared by it. Who would have thought that someone like Luke; spoiled, obnoxious, snarky; would turn out to be sweet, and funny, and selfless. And if Noah was too blind, no pun intended, to see how amazing Luke was, then he was not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

* * *

"Noah has his surgery tomorrow. Wow," Luke said almost in shock or awe of the developments. It was finally going to happen for him.

"Yeah, he wanted to get right to it and the OR is open. I'm surprised he didn't call and tell you about it," Reid said and took a drink from his tea; he looked at Luke over the edge of his glass. He could see Luke was disappointed by Reid observation.

"Yeah, me too," Luke said sounding disappointed. Why hadn't Noah called him? Maybe he was finally admitting that they were over. Reid was surprised that Noah didn't call Luke back. He wasn't being devious, he was just stating fact. Reid didn't, of course, tell Luke that Noah did try to call him. Why would be help his boyfriend's ex back into his life?

He had Luke and he wasn't going to give him up.

Not yet.


	14. Treasured Bit

It was the night before his surgery and Noah was sitting up in bed. He was too excited or was it too nervous. At this point Noah couldn't tell the difference anymore. He tried calling Luke again, once at work and twice on his cell. It must have been off because it went straight to voicemail. He didn't leave a message. What could he say? He was never one to say what he was feeling. Sure, being with Luke, he had become more comfortable with himself, but deep down he still that scared army brat who never said one sentence to his dad that didn't end in sir.

The apartment was so quiet. Maddie was out with Hunter getting another scoop for "First Edition". The downstairs neighbor seemed to be out of the night and he didn't feel like listening to the TV or his iPod. Noah reached to his bedside table and grabbed his laptop. He kept it close to him all the time now. Not because of what it was but because of what it contained. He ran his finger over the touchpad to wake it up from sleep mode and hit Ctrl+P to play the DVD inside.

What would Noah want to listen to before his surgery?

A film by Alfred Hitchcock?

A film by Orson Welles?

Maybe his movie?

None of these were the correct answer.

As soon as Luke's voice filled his headphones, he relaxed into his pillows. He didn't have to see what was on the screen to know what he was watching. He filmed this one. He remembered all of this. He had watched so many times before he lost his sight. It was etched in his brain. It was from a weekend trip that he and Luke took to Chicago. There was play at the Steppenwolf Theatre that Luke was dying to see and Noah surprised him with tickets for their anniversary. It was their second after all and he didn't want to disappoint Luke. Luke wanted to make a weekend out of it. Luke reserved the room and they were off. Noah listened to the video and he could almost picture everything that was playing in front of him. The video left off where he had stopped from the night before. He listened to it most nights; it calmed him so he could actually sleep alone. When he would finish it one night, the next he would start at the beginning.

* * *

"Are you going to put that camera down and come eat? Please, before I clean off the whole thing," Luke said will a mouth full of food. Noah set the camera down, but didn't turn it off. He sat across from Luke at their little table on their secluded balcony in their very expensive hotel room. It was more like a suite, but Luke insisted that this was a room. Luke got to the room service menu before Noah had a chance. It looked like he ordered everything that was on the breakfast menu. He counted pancakes, french toast, and waffles along with eggs, bacon and sausage. Not to mention a lot of coffee.

"Do you think you ordered enough food?"

"Well, I can think of some ways for us to work it off," Luke said with raised eyebrows.

"Really, and what would that entail?"

"Well, there's you, there's me, and a really big bed," Luke's voice dipped an octave lower as he inched his chair closer to his boyfriend. Noah leaned back in his chair and looked at the gorgeous creature who wanted nothing but him. He was in constant awe of Luke and the unconditional love he gave him every day. He was so lucky to have found someone like Luke; not only to have found him, but to have earned his love. Noah was so lost in that thought that he didn't even hear Luke talking to him. Luke had to actually slide his hand up Noah's arm to get his attention.

"Huh?"

"Are you ok? For a second there I was afraid you were having a stroke."

"No, I'm fine. I was just thinking, that I," Noah paused while he looked at Luke. The sun was shining through his blonde hair, he was wearing one of the white robes that came with the room, and he was looking at Noah like he was the answer to every question he could ever be asked. Noah took Luke's hands in his and held them tight. Luke was scared for a second, Noah was worrying him right now. "I just, I love you. SO much. And that's it. That's what I was thinking about. I feel so lucky and privileged to have you in my life. I cannot wait to spend my life with you. So, thank you, for everything."

"Wow, I was not expecting that. Where did all of that come from?"

"It something that I should have said a long time ago. You deserve to hear it all the time and I wish that I could tell you everything that I'm feeling when I'm feeling it, but…," Luke's lips cut off Noah's rambling. He let him blather on for long enough, he figured it was time to put him out of his misery. He slipped his tongue against Noah's and he could feel Noah relax against him. Luke lightly caressed Noah's cheeks; his thumbs brushing against Noah's cheekbones. That simple move always made the hairs on Noah's neck stand up. Luke slowly stood up, pushing his chair away, and moved closer to Noah. Noah's mouth followed Luke as his hands gripped the blonde's hips. Noah groaned as Luke straddled his lap. He loved the feel of Luke on top of him. When he realized that he was gay, Noah could never even imagine how amazing it would feel to have a man this close to him.

The hard body, the smell of aftershave, the feel of stubble against his.

Luke was everything he wanted.

Noah leaned into Luke's kiss as he slid his hands up Luke's legs and under the robe. Noah pulled back slightly and Luke looked at him with confusion.

"What?"

"Well, you're not wearing any underwear," Noah said in an even tone.

"Really? Let me see about that." Luke remarked as he pulled the robe away from him slightly and looked inside. Noah smirked at Luke teasing him. His mouth dropped open and looked back at Noah. "Well, would you look at that? You know, you're right. I'm naked under this robe," Luke said a faint whisper, as if he was divulging a huge secret. Noah chuckled slightly at Luke's goofy mood. Noah pulled at Luke's naked hips and brought the blonde's body hard against his. Luke grunted and his head dropped back. Noah latched on Luke's exposed neck; causing goosebumps to run up his body. Noah definitely knew all the parts on Luke's body that drove him crazy. Luke cupped the back of Noah's head while his lips continued to nibble and lick along all of the exposed skin. Noah just loved the taste of Luke's skin, especially at a time like this. His skin gets almost hot and the salt from his sweat is like nothing he had ever tasted. It was something that he became addicted to the second after he tasted it.

Soon the only sounds that were coming from the small balcony were labored breathing, soft moans, and kisses breaking. Luke pulled away to catch his breath. He rested his forehead against Noah's and took in long breaths to calm his racing heart. Noah could smell maple syrup on Luke's breath and he couldn't help but smile. Luke and Noah both opened their eyes at the same time and they just looked at each other. Luke got lost in the oceans of Noah's crystalline blue and Noah felt like he was drowning in the deep depths of Luke's soft browns.

"Don't move," Luke said in a hoarse whisper. He was trying to control how much he wanted Noah and he felt like he was failing miserably. Noah could only nod in response.

Noah hands stayed on Luke's hips; his fingers rubbed light circles on the muscles just under the skin. Luke had one hand buried in the hair at nape of Noah's neck, but it was other hand that caught Noah's attention. Luke's hand brushed against Noah's stomach and under his t-shirt. Luke's eyes never left Noah's as his hand reached inside Noah's sleep pants. Noah could not keep his eyes from sliding closed while Luke's hand wrapped around him. His head dropped back and a long moan escaped his throat. Luke pulled the front of Noah's pants out of the way and loosened his robe. He captured Noah's lips in a deep kiss as he raised himself up slightly. Noah's fingers dug into Luke's sides as Luke returned to Noah's lap, taking Noah deep inside him.

Noah had to bite down on his Luke's lower lip to keep from cumming right there. He began to thrust into Luke while Luke rocked into him. Their bodies were moving on automatic; surrendering to the rhythm that they had master many months before. Luke had a moment of clarity and took Noah's face in his hands again.

"Noah, open your eyes. Look at me." Luke's voice sounded so faint and shaky, Noah was surprised he heard it at all. Noah just barely opened his eyes and see Luke looking down at him. "I love you so much." Luke said in a breathy tone. Their eyes stayed locked on each other while their pace began to pick up. Luke rested his forehead against Noah's as he gave into the building orgasm. He wanted to stayed locked to Noah, but the dam could only hold back the wave for so long. His back arched and pulled him away from Noah. Noah continued to thrust into him while Luke rode through his orgasm. Luke's shuddering body brought Noah over the edge right behind him. Both of them were afraid to move. Luke lightly brushed kisses around Noah's face while the brunette gasped for air.

"That was amazing. I swear, Luke Snyder, you will be the death of me," Noah said and gave Luke a kiss.

"But, baby, what a way to go," both men laughed at Luke's joke and held close to each other, neither was able to move.

Luke pulled Noah to him and rested his cheek against Noah's shoulder. He felt Noah's arms tighten around him and his hands lightly brush up and down his back. Noah was still enveloped inside of Luke and he did not want to move for anything, but it was Luke who moved first.

"Is that camera still on?" Luke asked as he straighten slightly.

"Uh."

"NOAH! OH MY GOD!" Luke yelled as he quickly got up; causing pain for both of them. He quickly closed his robe and stood in front of his boyfriend. "How could you record us?"

"Hey! I didn't know that we were going to have sex. I thought we were going to have breakfast. You came on to me dear." Noah stood to meet him.

Luke's anger was quickly deflating. Noah was right. Luke had been the instigator of the whole thing. He was the one who straddled Noah. He was the one who purposely did not wear anything under his robe. He was one who took Noah inside of him. He really had no legs to stand on in this argument. But he was embarrassed and Noah could see that. He was kept tightening his robe and wrapping his arms around himself. Noah saw his distress and took Luke in his arms.

"I'm sorry that I didn't say anything, but I got wrapped up. You are to blame for my forgetting about the camera. You make brain go all fuzzy. I tend to forget my own name when we start to get all hot and heavy," Noah said trying to reassure his boyfriend. Luke blushed at the Noah praise and wrapped his own arms around Noah.

"Promise me you will erase it."

"I promise. I'll take the hard drive out right now and I will erase it as soon as we get home. I'll turn it off right now."

* * *

The video cut out and Noah closed his laptop. He told Luke he was going to erase it, but he just couldn't. He just could not throw away something that was part of Luke. He had managed to capture a bit of Luke and it broke his heart to get rid of it. So he burned it to a DVD and he guarded it with his life. He treasured it as he would anything that Luke gave him. He kept it in a case in his desk. It was the only case that had a textured binding and he knew that he would not misplace it with another one. After he started to push Luke away and Luke stopped coming back, he put that DVD in and it had not come out. This was his little bit of Luke and this had become his motivation. When he would wake up with a hell of a headache from his therapy or the pills would make him sick, he would simply play that DVD and hear Luke's voice tell say that he loved him.

Noah placed the laptop on the bedside table and laid back into his pillows. Tomorrow was the start of the rest of his life. Tomorrow was day one of his getting Luke back.

* * *

The next morning Reid was gone before Luke woke up. Noah had his surgery today and Reid had to be sure that everything in the OR was set just right. He was nothing if not meticulous and Luke was grateful for that even more now. He wanted Noah to get better. He deserved that much.

After all the crap that they were dealt and ultimately could not overcome, Noah deserved his happy ending.

However he got it.

* * *

Noah laid on the gurney and drummed his fingers on his thighs. He was so nervous and within reason. In little less than thirty minutes he was going to have a huge hole in his head. He trusted Dr. Oliver implicitly and without worry, but it was surgery. A couple nurses came in to check on Noah off and on for the next twenty minutes. The medicine that they gave him to help him relax was kicking and he had a wishy-washy sensation, like lying down in a boat and feeling it rock you back and forth. He heard the door open and close. He figured it was one more visit from the nurses until he felt someone take his hand. He knew that hand and he knew that cologne.

"Luke?"

"Hey Noah."

"How did you know?"

"Dr. Oliver told me."

"And here I thought he hated you," Noah said with a slight smile.

"No, only you do."

"Luke I never…"

"Shhh, you need to go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up," Luke said quietly as he ran his fingers through Noah's hair. He never understood how Luke could calm him with a slight touch, but he had done it again. Noah closed his eyes and relished in the soft touch that he had missed so much these past five months. The next thing he knew he was being moved and Luke was gone. Did he just imagine Luke was there? He wanted it so badly. He heard the hallow sounds of footsteps of a few people, muffed voices, and doors opening and closing.

"Hi Noah."

"Hi Dr. Oliver."

"Let's get started," Reid said to the room. Noah felt an oxygen mask being placed over his face and his someone checking his IV's.

"Ok, Noah, I need you to countdown from ten for me," another voice above him said. Noah nodded slightly and begun to count.

"Ten," _**"**_ _ **Well, that's what you wanted, isn't? Me out of your way,"**_

"Nine," _**"I finally got it. We're done,"**_

"Eight," _**"**_ _ **He makes me feel wanted and needed and, yes, I'm happy when I'm with him,"**_

"Seven," _**"It was probably just a matter of time right. Your dad must have been right about me all along,"**_

"Six," " _ **Wait for what? For you to want me again? For you to realize that you miss me?"**_

"Five," _**"You act like you're alone in this, but I was hurt too,"**_

"Four," I love you Luke.

And Noah was out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.  
> It helps me come back even faster.


	15. A Secret Discovered

After six long hours in the surgery, Noah was rolled out of the OR and into his room. Luke was there the entire time. He had managed to move things around at work so he could be there. After the day shift had left for the night Luke snuck into his room. He sat down next to Noah's bed and was afraid to touch him. He looked so frail. They had to shave his head for the surgery, so his gorgeous dark hair was gone. There was a strange mesh cap covering his scalp instead, Luke assumed to keep the stitches clean. He had a tube down his throat to help him breathe and IV's connected to each arm. He could hear the heart monitor beeping and the ventilator whooshing. The room was just too quiet and if there was one thing that Luke hated, it was quiet. Luke pulled his chair closer and carefully took Noah's hand.

"Hey Noah. I'm here. I don't know what to say to you. I remember the last time that one of us was in the hospital. It was after the whole Zac and Zoe thing. I remember seeing you shot and I was praying that you would be all right. Well, those prayers worked out, so I've been doing some praying this time too. I wish you were awake so you could tell me to shut up," Luke laughed as he wiped away some tears. He just looked at Noah. His dark eyelashes, the small mole on his cheek, his chest rising and falling with the machine; he was out of things to say, save one. "I do have something to tell you. You knew that I was seeing someone, but I haven't told you who. I've been seeing Dr. Oliver," Luke stopped for a moment; as if Noah would wake up at that second. "I have been for almost two months now. You're the first person I've told. And I like him. I surprised myself, but I like him," Luke stopped again to look at Noah. It was like looking at a shell of Noah. There was no movement. His eyelids weren't fluttering; his lips weren't moving; his hands were limp. It was as if Noah wasn't even there.

Maybe that was why Luke found it so easy to tell Noah about Reid. He wasn't really telling Noah. He was telling a shell that look like Noah; almost like a surrogate. Again Luke was out of words. He lifted Noah's cool hand to his lips and lightly kissed each knuckle. He brushed the tears from his eyes and was startled when a nurse came into the room.

"Oh, you scared me. I didn't think anyone was in here." The young brunette said, letting her heart calm.

"Just me," he said with a sniffle.

"He's lucky to have so many people here for him." She started checking Noah's IV's and made some notes on his charts.

"Yeah. Can I ask you why is he on a respirator?"

"It's just a precaution. Because of the nature of his surgery and the anesthesia he was given. It'll probably come out in the morning."

Luke could only nod in response. Luke held his hand and lightly brushed the back of Noah's hand with his other.

"Are you family?" She asked as checked Noah's vitals and made another note on his chart.

"I'm his brother," Luke responded and the nurse looked down at how he was holding the patient's hand.

"Ah, uh. Well, visiting hours are over. I'm sorry to kick you out."

"Oh ok, I understand," Luke said simply as he got up. He waited until the nurse walked out before he leaned over and lightly kissed Noah's lips. "I love you Noah. I'll see you tomorrow," he then stepped out into the hallway. He was still a little shaky after seeing Noah like that. He let out a long shuddering breath. He rubbed his nose with the back of his hand and turned back to look through the window; giving Noah one last look. He saw Reid's reflection coming up behind him and wiped the tears from his eyes. He turned to meet his boyfriend as he came closer.

"I thought you might be here," Reid said as he put his jacket on. He had changed out of his hospital scrubs and into his street clothes. Luke had to admit that he had a thing for Reid's scrubs. The whole "man in uniform" thing.

"I am that predictable. Yeah, I was just checking on him. Is that ok?" Luke asked and then wondered why he did.

"Of course, Luke you don't have to hide the fact that you still care about him. I understand, I promise. Just know that I care about you, ok?" He reassured Luke as he softly caressed Luke's cheek.

"Thank you," he responded and pulled Reid into a hug. Reid's arms wrapped around Luke and he let out a long sigh when their bodies met. He was starting to really fall for the blonde, but Luke was still holding a torch of Noah. He didn't want to scare Luke away by getting too serious. He decided to let the chips fall where they may; not force anything.

"Oh, I have a surprise for you," Reid remarked as they stepped away from each other.

"Really? What kind?" Luke asked playfully.

"Well, if I told you it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?"

"True. Lead on doctor," Luke teased as he slipped his hand into Reid's.

"Have I told you how much I love it when you call me "doctor"?" Reid raised an eyebrow to fuller tease Luke.

"Ohhh. Maybe we will have to revisit that, later," Luke winked to tease Reid. "But first my surprise," he playfully demanded and Reid relented.

* * *

About twenty minutes later they were sitting in Walsh Park, on a blanket, enjoying a picnic. Luke was surprised; hell with that, he was astonished. To think when they met a mere seven weeks ago, they were ready to fight each other until one of them was unconscious and last night they did something else until one of them was unconscious. Luke could not get over Reid at this moment. He was sneaking a peek at the redhead while he set out all the food he picked up Al's. Reid ordered two burgers, fries and two pieces of cherry pie. He made sure that he got Luke a very chocolatey milkshake and a sweet tea for himself.

"Well if wonders never cease? Hank didn't mess the order up. Well there's a first time for everything," he quipped and finally caught Luke gazing at him. Luke's hair was shining in the late March sun and the cool air was turning his cheeks a light pink. He also had on the sweetest smile. Reid just had to smile back. "What?"

"Nothing. Just looking," Luke said then he leaned forward on his hands, just a breath away from him. Reid looked into those soft eyes and his smile grew even wider. He could smell the chocolate milkshake on his breath. Luke closed the distance and kissed Reid; it was a sweet, quick peck. He gave Reid one more and then snatched a fry away from Reid's order before he returned to his side of the blanket. "You know Mr. Snyder, theft is a very serious crime,"

"Oh, would you look at that? The evidence," Luke then threw the last bit in his mouth. "is gone," Luke just smiling while he finished chewing on the fry. He just loved teasing Reid.

And Reid just could not help himself.

"You are _so_ going to pay for that," he dove at Luke and knocked the blonde on his back.

* * *

Maddie was cutting through the park on her way back to "First Edition". She grabbed dinner for her and Hunter and was rushing to get back to work. She was so glad that the snow was finally gone. It's not that she didn't like winter, but by the time spring comes, she is so glad for it. She pulled her jacket a little closer and hurried through the park. She tightened her hold on the white takeout bag and laughed as she thought about Hunter. He insisted that he have a completely dry hamburger; no tomatoes, no mustard, nothing, but then he would drown his French fries in a gallon of ketchup. Go figure.

She rounded the last curve on the path before the last gate when she saw them. She stopped in her place.

Luke was on his back and Dr. Oliver was hovering over him. His hands were on the older man's hips and the doctor was resting between Luke's thighs. Luke wasn't uncomfortable, quite the contrary, he looked like he was enjoying himself. That was further validated when Dr. Oliver closed the distance between them and kissed him. Luke didn't pull away or stop him; in fact he returned it.

Maddie suddenly felt the way Casey did when he saw Luke at the Lakeview; like it just didn't make sense. Nothing did. She was suddenly glad that she was standing behind an old maple tree.

* * *

"If you don't get off me, our food is going to get cold," Luke said after he was finally able to pull his mouth away from Reid's.

"Baby, it's like 40 degrees out here. Trust me, our food already cold,"

"What did you just say?"

"I, ah," Reid felt his stomach clench and heart started to race. He stepped too far. He freaked the young man out.

"What did you say?"

"I, ah, said," he was stammering. He never stammered. His mouth was getting dry and his voice was gone. He started to move away, but Luke grabbed the collar of his jacket to keep him from going anywhere. Reid readied himself for a barrage of torment. Or at worst, deflection.

"Did you just call me baby?"

"Yeah, I did," Reid answered in a quiet voice and looked away; embarrassed. Luke was pleasantly surprised by how bashful he suddenly was.

"Say it again," Luke urged him on.  The side of Reid's mouth rose up ever so slightly.

"Baby."

"I just wanted to hear you say it again," Luke playfully teased as he clasped his hands together behind Reid's head; lightly brushing his cold fingers on Reid's neck and in his hair. The redhead gave Luke a sideways glance, gauging his boyfriend's playfulness. He smirked and closed the distance. Luke dipped his tongue into Reid's mouth and moaning deliciously as he pulled harder on Reid's hips. Luke's moans drove Reid crazy.

* * *

Maddie stood frozen as she watched Luke making out Dr. Oliver with in the middle of the park in the middle of the day. She didn't know what to do. It was the sound of her phone signaling that she had received a text message that brought her back to earth. She stepped back behind the tree that she was using as cover and pulled her phone out.

 _Where are you?_   Hunter's message said and she decided to take the long way back to work. She got back to the office about ten minutes after she would if she had continued on her first trajectory. She put the lunch bag on the desk and Hunter dug in. She collapsed into the office chair and sat in shock.

"It's cold. What happened?" Hunter asked with a mouthful of dry burger.

"Nothing. I just got lost for a second."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luke is going to have a some explaining to do!  
> Let me know what you think!  
> Stay Tuned!


	16. First Visit

"Reid! Have you seen my phone?" Luke called out from the dirty clothes pile he was digging through in the bedroom.

"What?" He heard called to him from the other room.

"My cell. I can't find it," Luke huffed as he stood up and threw the things he was holding into the pile. He hadn't had his phone for almost two days. He could have sworn had it at work, but when he came home that night, that was it. Maybe he left it at work. He had been so distracted that day. He had a deal with another foundation, to sponsor a fundraiser for a children's cancer wing, fall through not to mention all the pressures at Grimaldi. He was still learning the ropes, but he was just glad that he finally making some allies there. Damian's former assistant was more than willing to step in to be Luke's. Marcus was helping Luke navigate the waters; making the transition much easier.

His life was in that phone and now he couldn't find it. Reid looked in from the hall with Luke's phone in his hand. Luke let out a long sigh of relief and took it from him. He gave Reid a quick peck in appreciation. He ran his finger over the menu keys; checking to see if he missed anything. He had a few missed calls from a number he didn't recognize, but no unanswered messages. He also got three texts from Maddie; someone's desperate. Something must be up with her. He made a mental note to text her back later. Maybe they could have coffee tomorrow.

"Where was it?"

"A messenger dropped it off. Your assistant sent it over," Reid answered with laugh after seeing the relief on his boyfriend's face.

"Oh, thank god. I thought I lost it."

Reid looked around the room and tried to hold in a laugh. Luke had indeed destroyed the room while searching for his phone. The hamper had been turned outside down and emptied all of over the floor. The contents of both night stands were on the bed; scattered from head to foot. The garbage can had been searched and Reid could see random Kleenexes and candy wrappers circled around the base.

"Did you need help with this disaster area or did you want to tackle it alone?"

"Help! Please," Luke begged after really viewing the devastation. He had been so desperate to find it; he pulled apart everything he came in contact with. Luke started to pick up the dirty clothes while Reid started on the bed mess. Reid managed to get all of the magazines and newspapers stacked together, but he stopped when he came to a picture that was among the debris. It was a picture of Luke and Noah and they looked like they were in Olde Towne. They were cuddled together on a bench with their eyes closed. The tip of it had been sticking out of a blue folder; he flipped open the folder and glanced over some of its contents. Reid looked over his shoulder at Luke who was still putting clothes away. He swiftly picked up the folder and slipped it into his messenger bag that was sitting near the bed. He put the rest of the papers away and turned just as Luke closed the lid on the hamper.

"So, what did you want to do for dinner?" Reid inquired as he glanced at his bag to sure nothing was noticeable. The folder was safely inside and Luke couldn't see it.

"Well, I've been craving pancakes for two days. And it is the one thing I can make very well," Luke beamed. He was going to make dinner for his boyfriend. He knew that it was no eggplant parmesan, but he liked that was going to be taking care of Reid for once. Even if it was just pancakes.

"Ahh, breakfast for dinner. I think I could handle that," Reid said with a soft smile as he and Luke walked out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen.

* * *

Noah's head felt heavy and his throat was raw. He was lying in bed, he knew that much. He could hear the heart monitor above his head. He could the faint beep of his heart rate. _At least I didn't die._ Noah thought to himself. On reflex his hand reached up and touched his bandages. He then felt two hands on his; stopping him from disturbing the gauze. That smell, he knew that smell. It was spicy and sweet at the same time with a hint of vanilla. He also knew those hands.

"You have to leave those on Mayer."

He knew that voice. The heart monitored beeped a little faster; giving himself away.

Luke was here.

"Luke? What are you doing here?"

"I came by after you came out of the OR yesterday, but I can go, if you want me to," his defeat was audible in his voice.

"No!" He said quickly and almost reaching out for Luke to stay. "That wasn't what I meant. I, ah, how did you know? Was it Maddie?"

"No, ah, Dr. Oliver told me," Luke said as he helped Noah sit up and get more comfortable. He was standing so close to Noah; he could smell Luke's toothpaste and the coffee he was drinking. He swallowed hard to keep himself from grabbing Luke and kissing him senseless.

"Really? I thought he hated you," Noah said and then the memory of just before his surgery came to him. Was Luke really there before the surgery?

"Maybe's he's not as bad as we thought. How are you?" Luke sat back down and pulled his chair closer to the bed.

"Better now that you're here," Noah said and a slight blush came to his cheeks. He reached out and touched Luke's hand that was resting next to his hip. Both men felt an almost electric surge. Luke shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he pulled his hand away. He felt guilty, but why should he? Noah left him; they broke up. But he still hated keeping this from Noah. He would tell him as soon as he gets better. Yes, Luke had decided. He was going to tell him about Reid as soon as he left the hospital.

"Luke? Are you still there?" Noah asked. He was trying not to convey how much it hurt that Luke pulled his hand away.  Not matter what between them in the last few months, he still loved Luke and hoped that they could get back together after he was better.

"Huh? Yeah. Sorry, I'm a little distracted that's all. What were you saying?"

"I asked how you were."

"Oh, I'm good. A little tired maybe, work's been tough this last week," Luke answered in one breath. He was picking at a loose thread on the seam of his jeans. He was fidgeting and he kicked himself for being so ridiculous. This was just Noah, not a job interview.

"What's going on at work?" Noah asked; trying to keep the conversation going. He was so glad that Luke was here, that he wanted him to just stay, for as long as he could. He was also glad that Luke was really talking to him; like a real conversation.

"Oh, it's nothing," Luke answered; waving him off. "I didn't come here to complain about my life. So, what are you going to do once the bandages come off and you can see again?" Luke was trying to stay upbeat and hopefully Noah would too. Noah felt awful that Luke wasn't willing to confide in him about his life anymore. They used to talk about everything and now Luke was trying to change the subject. Noah wanted to push Luke into talking to him, but he didn't want to start a fight. All they seemed to do lately was fight and he didn't want to ruin whatever time they had.

"What do I want to do? Not sleep. Been in the dark too long. I don't want to miss anything. I want to watch my movie and walk outside. Is there any snow left?"

"Not really. It's been raining for like a week straight, so anything that was left is almost gone."

"And I want to see you. I miss you," Noah said and had to swallow back the lump in his throat, but he said what he been stirring about in his head for months. Luke clenched his jaw as he tried to keep his emotions in check. He wondered if he would ever be able to just be around Noah without feeling like this. Just sitting this close to him was hard. He wanted to touch him and kiss him, but that road only led to heartache and anger between them. There just couldn't be a future with him. There was just too much hurt, on both sides, for them be together. At least that was what Luke kept telling himself.

He also had to tell him.

"Noah, listen, I ah…," Luke was cut off by the opening of the door. He looked over his shoulder and saw Reid walking in. He suddenly felt guilty for another reason; as if he was cheating on Reid. He stood up and took a step back.

"Hello Noah," Reid said as he stood near the door; Noah's chart in his hand. He was wearing his dark blue scrubs with a long sleeve gray shirt underneath; Luke's favorite look.

"Oh, Dr. Oliver, Luke and I were just talking and I want him here, so…," he said as he tried to defend Luke being there. Dr. Oliver couldn't be upset by this; could he?

"Noah, it's ok. Maybe Luke can step out in the hall for a few minutes. I have to check your vitals."

"That's ok. I actually have to go anyway. I'm supposed to meet Maddie for coffee. I'll talk to you later Noah."

"Ok, bye," Noah said in a sad, defeated voice. Luke stepped around Reid to get to the door. Reid reached out and grabbed his hand as he passed; lightly brushing his thumb along the back of Luke's hand. Luke felt his pulse quicken a bit and his cheek flush. Luke looked into his eyes and Reid mouthed "Call me" as Luke stepped out into the hall.

The door closed and Luke let out a long breath. He had to calm down. He was on the way to meet Maddie and he didn't want to see her if he looked agitated. Maddie was just as perceptive as he was and she would pick up on anything out of the ordinary. He shook off what he was feeling and left to meet Maddie.

* * *

"So, doc, how am I looking?" Noah asked as Dr. Oliver finished up his exam.

"Everything looks good. Almost textbook. If I'm right, and I usually am, you should have those bandages off in a few days."

"Wow! That quick! That's amazing!" Noah could barely hold back his excitement. He had been looking forward to this for almost six months. He had missed so much. He missed the leaves changing, the first snow fall, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, and Luke. He missed Luke most of all. He had been selfish in not forgiving him. He knew that he had made a lot of mistakes when it came to Luke and once the bandages were off, he could concentrate on fixing them as well. "Look, Dr. Oliver. Is it going to be a problem if Luke comes to see me? I don't have a lot of close friends and I really do miss him."

Reid felt his heart stop for a moment. Reid really cared about Luke and he had sympathy for the young man. He knew that if he couldn't see Luke, he would miss him too.

"No, Noah. It's fine. I'm over it. Luke can some to see you if he wants to."

"Really?" Noah was surprised by the doctor's change in attitude about Luke

"Yes. Having family and friends is important to a patient's recovery."

"Oh. Thank you," Noah was shocked and had no words. Dr. Oliver was being, nice. It was a little unnerving for obvious reasons.

"You're welcome. I think that it is almost lunch time so I'll get out of here so nurses can bring you something that is almost food. I'll be back to see later."

"Thank you Dr. Oliver," Noah said and Reid stepped out into the hall. He had to admit that he was mildly jealous when he saw Luke in Noah's room, but he was not going to go down that road. Luke had told him that jealousy was one of the main reasons that he and Noah broke up and he was not going to make the same mistake that Noah did. Luke deserved much more than that. He walked off toward the lounge to do a little reading to do.

* * *

Luke walked into Java and found Maddie at booth in the corner. She looked really anxious, like she couldn't sit still. She was tapping her stir stick against her cup. Her foot was shaking and she looked like she had had too many cups already. He was suddenly worried for his friend. He walked up to her and touched her lightly on the arm.

"Maddie? Are you ok?"

"I really need to talk to you. I have some questions."


	17. Honesty

Maddie and Luke entered Walsh Park; Maddie insisted. She wanted to be alone with Luke so why not return to where she saw him, more accurately **_them_**. She grabbed a bench and Luke sat down right next to her. The early spring sun felt so good on their backs as they sipped their coffees. Maddie looked over and saw the clearing where Luke and Dr. Oliver were making out yesterday. Her eyes were locked on that spot. She got a little shiver when she thought about it. Luke kept looking at her out of the corner of his eye. She was seriously freaking him out.

"Ok, Maddie. What's the big emergency? You are acting so wired today. You can't sit still and you look like you're about to take off. Is it Casey again? Is he why you are acting so weird? I thought you'd decided that you weren't going to go there again."

"No. It's not Casey. Someone else has caused me to act this way."

"Tell me Maddie! This suspense is giving me grays."

"You. You're why I'm like this."

"Me? What are you talking about?"

* * *

Reid finished his sandwich and kept looking at the file on the table in front of him. It was as if it was taunting him to open it. Calling to him. He had put it down in front of him as soon as he sat down. He stared at the entire time he ate his lunch and had not opened it or anything. The folder was dark blue and the corners were well worn down; this file had traveled a lot of miles. Last night when he found it in Luke's bedroom, he grabbed without even thinking. It was like he was on auto-pilot. A small part of his brain was yelling, screaming at him to stop what he was doing and put it away. But he couldn't. When he glanced at it, he saw a letter addressed to Luke and a few other things that looked important. He wasn't even sure why he needed to look at it. He knew Luke and he liked what he did know. But maybe that was the point. He only knew what Luke told him. He knew quite a bit about Luke and Noah, but he wanted to know more.

For instance, how could Noah let someone like Luke get away? Luke told Reid that Noah had broken up with him, but how could he? He knew Luke was really amazing pretty early on and how could Noah not hang on to Luke?

He knew what he had to do. He reached out and picked up the file.

* * *

"What are you talking about? What did I do?" Luke was flabbergasted. He and Maddie had not really hung out after she came home this last summer, so how could he have done anything to her? He was confused and told her so.

"I'm confused. What is going on Maddie?"

"I saw you two."

" _You saw me too_ what?"

"No. I saw the two of you, here in the park," Maddie let out a long shaky breath. There it was out. She finally vocalized what had been eating away at her since she saw them. She finally told him. What would he say now?

That it was a mistake?

That Dr. Oliver was making him do it?

That she was crazy?

Maddie waited for Luke's answer. He took in and let out a long breath. He looked like he was trying to find the right thing to say.

"So?" Luke simply said as he leaned back into the bench and took a sip from his coffee cup.

"What do you mean "so"? Luke, I saw you making out with Dr. Oliver in the park."

"So what Maddie?" Luke was trying to reel in his anger. He felt like he was being ambushed again.

"Do you want to explain what I saw?" Maddie said as he gestured toward the clearing where she saw Luke and Dr. Oliver.

"Why should I explain anything?"

"Because you are my friend and so is Noah. I think an explanation is in order here," both of them were raising their voices now.

"This has nothing to do with Noah. This is about me and my boyfriend."

"Ok, now I'm confused. You said you and your boyfriend, but this has nothing to do with Noah?" Maddie's eyebrows rose when she finally understood what he was saying. Luke could see the realization come across her face; it was like watching a puzzle being locked together. "You mean you and Dr. Oliver are…,"

"Boyfriends? Yes we are."

"Does Noah know?" Maddie asked; her voice raw and angry.

"Not yet he doesn't."

"Luke! How could you do this?" She had never been so angry with Luke then at this moment. "Noah is the love of your life. I heard that out of you myself. You don't do this the man you say that you love!"

"Oh My God!" Luke was up on his feet and standing in front of Maddie. She was not going to be talked down to and stood as well. "Why is my personal life so important to anyone else? When Noah and I were together and we were having problems, where was anyone else? No one cared. We break up and I start to see someone else then suddenly, everyone gives a damn! It is no one's business but mine! And you know what? I happen to like Reid!"

"Is Reid the guy that Casey saw you kissing in the elevator at the Lakeview?"

"Casey huh?" Luke asked; everything was coming into focus now.

_OOPS._

"Yes he was," Luke said defiantly.

"So this affair has been going on this then?"

"Maddie! It's not an affair! Noah left me! _**He**_ broke up with _**me**_! I have been through this with him so many times before. I was not going to go chasing after him again. I deserve more than that. I deserve someone that wants to be with me," Luke dropped back down on the bench in frustration.

"And you don't think that he wants to be with you?" She asked and then sat next to him; facing him.

"Not enough Maddie. I wanted to help him through all of this. I wanted to be there for him, but he didn't want me. He had been pushing me away months. Throwing the guilt I feel for what happened to him in my face over and over again. So he broke up with me and I've moved on."

"So that's it?"

"I don't know what else I can say here?"

"Are you going to tell Noah?" Maddie asked as she played with her coffee lid.

"Yes, but not now."

"Luke you have to tell him," Maddie had a sick feeling. This was not going to end well unless Luke told him.

"I will, but not yet."

"Why not?"

"Because if I tell him that I'm sleeping with his doctor, Noah will refuse Reid's help. Noah needs Reid to get better. As soon as Noah is better and out of the hospital I will tell him, but not until then."

"If you're sure?" Maddie visions of this not turning out well at all.

"Yes, and you can't tell Noah."

"I don't know Luke."

"Maddie please. I will tell him," Luke begged his friend.

"I hate that I'm in the middle of this."

"I hate that too."

"I promise that I will let you tell him."

"Thank you," Luke reached out and took Maddie in his arms. Maddie quickly reciprocated and circled her arms around Luke. The two friends slowly pulled apart and Maddie had one more question.

"So, this thing with Reid,"

"Yeah?" Luke said warily.

"Is it serious?"

* * *

Reid was nervous and he is **_never_** nervous. Luke made him this way. He got home from work and immediately went to Luke's. He used the key that Luke gave him and was sitting in the kitchen. He kept looking at his watch and waiting for his boyfriend to get home. He would get up and pace for a few minutes and then sit back down. Luke was supposed to meet Maddie and then go back to office for a meeting. He did get a text from Luke about a half-hour ago telling him he was on his way home. He had to tell Luke what he did. He had been feeling guilty all day and he knew that he had to tell him. Keeping something like this from Luke wasn't fair and would come back to bite him later. He was on his fifth lap of the living room when Luke came in. He looked so tired. He dropped his bag and coat by the door and walked over to Reid. Without saying anything, he wrapped his arms around Reid's waist and buried his head in his neck. Reid was taken aback by this move, but quickly recovered and pulled Luke into a tighter embrace.

"Bad day?" Reid asked as he raked his fingers through Luke's hair.

"Worst."

"Something at work?"

"No. Coffee with Maddie."

"Before you tell me what happened, I have to tell you something while I still have the nerve," he said as he pulled out of the hug. He didn't want to add to Luke's day, but he needed to know. His hands slid down Luke arms and he linked their hands together. His hands were sweaty; Luke was a little surprised by this.

"Well, Dr. Oliver, are you nervous?" Luke teased. Reid dropped his hands to his sides in frustration. Normally he finds Luke's attempts at teasing adorable, but right now he just wants to get through this.

"Luke, I'm serious. Just listen," Reid walked over to the kitchen table to pick up the folder and hesitantly returned to Luke's side; giving it to him. Luke face lit up in shock and then hurt when he saw the blue folder.

"Where did you get this?" He asked through gritted teeth as he opened it and flipped through it. He was checking the contents and everything seemed to be there.

"I found it," he was vague on purpose. As if Luke would leave it at that.

"But why do you have it?!" Luke yelled as he stepped back from Reid.

"It was on the bed when I was helping you clean up. Curiosity got the better of me and I took it."

"I don't believe this! I just got done telling one of my friends about us and you betray me, my privacy like this!" Luke yelled as he put the folder in his bookcase across the room.

"I didn't read any of it. Wait, you told Maddie?"

"What do you mean you didn't read it? And yes I told her."

"I didn't read it. What did you tell her?"

"Can we have one conversation please?" Luke asked as he put his hands up in front of him. "First, the folder. Why didn't you read it?"

"I'll be honest, I really wanted to. I got real close. I glanced inside of it when I was cleaning off the bed. I saw that there were things about you and Noah in it. I took it and put it in my bag. I took it to work and was going to read it."

"Why didn't you?"

"I just couldn't. I stared at that thing for like 35 minutes; debating all the reasons why I should and shouldn't. I wanted to know how things got screwed up between you and Noah, but I didn't want to hurt you. Then I realized, that if I looked in there then I would be breaking the trust between us. And that would break us. I realized that if we are to have any kind of future then I want there to be honesty, always. I'm sorry I took it. It was wrong and I will ask you if I want to know something and I won't go behind your back again."

Luke stepped forward and took Reid's face in his hands. He pulled the redhead's lips to his and swept his tongue across Reid's lips. He opened his lips slightly and let Luke inside. Reid groaned as Luke's tongue massaged his and Reid had to pull away to catch his breath; Luke's hands still caressing his cheeks.

"What, ah, wha…," Reid was having trouble forming a sentence. His brain was foggy with his lust for Luke. Luke couldn't help but laugh at the helpless man.

"What was that for?" Luke said; reading Reid's mind.

"Ah, yeah, that's it," Reid said laughing. Luke laughed along with his boyfriend. He was always so confident and self-assured; it was nice to see Reid trip over his tongue for a moment.

"Because you were honest with me. Trust me I am still pissed that you took it, but I am glad that you told me the truth. I believe you and I agree that we have to honest. That was one of the main reasons why Noah and I didn't work. We didn't talk to each other," Luke's hands left Reid and he almost whimpered at the absent of Luke's touch. That was until Luke linked their hands together.

"As much as I would like to continue this in the bedroom, I want to know why you were so upset when you got home,"

"Maddie saw us in the park the other day," Luke said and Reid visibly winced and cast his eyes down. "Hey," Luke caressed Reid's cheek and brought his gaze meet his. "It's ok. You're not a dirty little secret you know," Luke saw a flash in Reid's eyes. He didn't think that did he? "I swear Reid. Have you thought that you were?"

"I'm ah, embarrassed to say yes," Reid said in a quiet voice as his eyes dropped to his and Luke's interlaced fingers.

"I'm sorry. I'll be honest, you were at first, but not anymore. Been that way for quite a while actually," Luke voice dropped an octave at the end and Reid felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Relief coursed through Reid at Luke's admission. The smile he was wearing showed as much.

"So, what did you tell Maddie? Why were you so upset?"

"Second question first?" Luke asked and Reid nodded. "She wanted to know what was going on between us. Like it was any of her business to start with and then she tried to make me feel guilty that I moved on. I reminded her that Noah left me. Everyone always has an opinion on my personal life. It drives me crazy! I know they do it because they love me, but I'm happy and that should be enough. I also told her that I like you and I didn't care that she knew. But I did ask her not to tell Noah."

"Why?" Reid asked as a nagging doubt bore into his stomach.

"Because he needs you and if he knows about us, he may refuse treatment from you."

"But you're going to tell him?"

"Yes. Of course. Not a dirty secret remember. When he is better and out of the hospital I will tell him everything. I promise. This, and you, are important to me. I don't want to hide it," Luke punctuated his sentence with another kiss and then pulled Reid into another hug. Reid closed his eyes as he felt his boyfriends body against his. He felt that nagging doubt break up a bit, but it was still there.

* * *

Later that night when they were in bed, Luke laid his head on Reid's chest, draped his left arm over his stomach, and softly brushed his fingers along Reid's ribcage. He could hear Reid's heartbeat in a soft rhythm and feel his chest rise and fall with each breath. He was slowly falling asleep to the lullaby that was simply Reid.

"Luke?"

"Hmm?" Sleep was slowly overtaking him.

"Will you come to Dallas with me?"

"What?" Luke was suddenly very awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think?  
> Feedback = love!  
> Stay Tuned!


	18. Coffee Interrupted

Luke had managed to avoid the moving to Dallas conversation with Reid for nearly a week. When Reid asked, Luke was shocked. He wasn't sure how to respond. It took a lot of courage for Reid to ask him. Luke could not deny that.

* * *

"Will you come to Dallas with me?"

"What?"

"Do you need me to repeat it for a third time?" Reid asked. Both of them were sitting up in bed and neither one was sleepy anymore.

"I need to get dressed," Luke said in almost a robotic voice. He did not want to have a conversation like this and be naked. He got up and suddenly felt lost. He searched the floor for anything he could put on. He grabbed the first thing he found, a pair of Reid's blue scrub pants. Reid flipped on the lights and watched Luke pace slightly.

"Am I going to get an answer?" Reid asked; disguising the hurt in his voice with anger.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I hoped " **yes"** would be your answer."

"I thought that you were going to stay here."

"Luke, baby, my practice, my patients, everything in my life is in Dallas. You are the only thing keeping me here," Reid was now kneeling amongst the covers and he pulled a pacing Luke to the edge of the bed. He wrapped his arms around Luke's waist and pulled their bodies together.

"Reid my entire life is here. My family, my job, my friends…"

"And Noah," Reid's arms fell away.

"I wasn't going to say that."

"You didn't have to," Reid threw the blankets away from him and started to get dressed.

"What are you doing?" Luke asked as his eyes followed Reid around the room.

"You know when we started this, I knew I was a distraction for you while Noah got better," Luke tried to disagree, but Reid continued. "I knew it. I was all right with it at first, but then you made me believe that you were with me because you wanted me. But now I'm starting to think that I was right the first time. I'm going home," Reid said, now dressed, and walked out into the hallway.

"Noah wait!" The words left Luke's lips before he could stop them and then he wished he could take them back. He could see Reid's entire body tense and Luke covered his mouth in shock. The next sound he heard was Reid slamming Luke's front door.

* * *

Over the next week Luke sent Reid a dozen texts and left messages, apologizing for the fight. He knew that if he could just get Reid to talk to him, then he could explain, but he still didn't know what he wanted to tell him.

Luke walked into Oakdale Memorial carrying two coffee cups. Since his fight with Reid, he had been to see Noah every day. They would talk about nothing at all. Luke would tell him about his family and Noah would fill Luke in on the gossip he'd pick up from the nurses. Apparently some on the staff equate being blind with being deaf as well.

Noah was getting excited for Luke's visits. He had been in to see him every day this week. Every day at about 4pm Luke would come in with two cups of coffee and they would just talk. It was almost like it was before they started dating. When they were friends. Deep down he knew that them splitting up was a good thing. He just couldn't take care of himself and be in a relationship, it wasn't fair to either of them. At least this week gave him hope that maybe they could start over after he was better. And that hope was huge in his recovery. He missed everything about Luke and he knew that Luke missed him too. No matter who this guy was, Noah was going to get Luke back.

Noah smelled the coffee as soon as the door opened. The smile that greeted Luke stopped him in his tracks. It was the same smile he saw at their last Thanksgiving and when Noah came home for Rome. It had been a long while since he had seen that smile. At the moment Luke felt like he was dating two guys at once.

"Hey Noah."

"Hi Luke."

Luke slipped inside and closed the door behind him. He carefully set Noah's coffee down and sat down in the chair next to him. He was surprised that no matter how many hospital stays he endured, each room looked and smelled the same.

"How are you today?" Luke asked, he fought the urge to take Noah's hand as it rested right in front of him.

"Better now that you are here," Noah answered. He said the same thing every time Luke asked. After a couple days Luke started to expect the answer, but now he just liked to hear Noah say it.

"How is your therapy going?" Luke took a sip of his coffee.

"Good. My PT said that I'm making good progress and Dr. Oliver thinks that I'll be able to get my bandages off soon, maybe a couple days," he said as he reached out to take his cup. Luke unconsciously nudged the cup closer to Noah's grasp.

"That's great!" Luke said with genuine laughter following closely behind. Noah felt his heart swell when Luke's laugh reached his ears. "Are you nervous or anything?"

"Anxious is probably a lot closer. I just want to get on with whatever my life is going to be from now on. At least now I won't wonder if there was anything else I could have tried but didn't."

"That makes sense. So, any good gossip lately?"

"I'm starting to think that you are only coming to see me to get the inside dirt."

"Well, it does help," Luke said with a smile.

"Shut up." Noah teased and quickly swung his hand out to playfully hit Luke's arm, not realizing how close Luke was. Noah's playful smack connected with Luke cheek and not his arm.

"Ow!" Luke's laughing completely downplayed any guilt that Noah would have felt for hitting Luke.

"I'm sorry," he said with his own laughter thrown in. "So, you're wondering about gossip. Well, a bunch of nurses think that Dr. Oliver is seeing someone," Noah said casually and took another sip of his coffee.

"Really?" Luke tried to act surprised and hoped Noah couldn't read his nervousness in his voice.

"Yeah,"

"Why do they think that?"

"Apparently, he has been extra patient, saying please and thank you. One nurse even said he has a bounce in his step," Luke tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He knew he was the cause of Reid's new behavior. He was lightening up. Luke suddenly wanted to find his boyfriend. Hearing Noah talk about him, made Luke miss him very much.

Noah tried to put his cup down next to him on the night table, when it slipped out of his hand and splashed out all over him and the bed.

"Oh my God! Noah! Are you ok?"

"Yeah, it really wasn't that hot anymore," he said, wincing.

"Here, let me help you. Don't move," Luke said as he sat on the edge of the bed. He leaned over Noah's lap and started to dab at the spill. He was so close to Noah again. Noah could smell Luke's aftershave and his shampoo. Luke's hair fell from behind his ear and brushed across Noah's face. Noah felt his entire body react to Luke's proximity. His breathing and heart sped up. His hands were tingling and he acted on pure impulse. He stopped Luke's caring hands with his and closed the short distance between them. The moment their lips met, Noah was instantly reminded how perfectly their lips fit together. He could taste Luke's toothpaste and coffee as he slipped his tongue inside Luke's mouth. Luke couldn't help but moan when Noah's tongue slid against his; it was the only response his body could formulate. Luke's hand clasped to the back of Noah's neck, holding him in place. Luke could hear Noah's heart monitor picking up the pace. Deep inside he jumped for joy at the idea that he made Noah's heart beat faster.

* * *

"That's weird," the nurse proclaimed from behind her desk.

"What is it?" The doctor asked.

"The guy in 173. His heart rate is elevated."

"I'll check it out. I'm on my way there anyway," Dr. Oliver said as he left the nurses' station and continued down the hall. He came up to Noah's room and saw Luke. He was sitting next to Noah, on his bed, and they were kissing. He knew he should be angry and he was, but he was sad more anything. He saw Luke pull back quickly and step away. Reid had to step away too.

* * *

Luke pulled away from Noah and stepped around the bed to get out of his reach.

"What was that?" Luke asked and covered his mouth in shock.

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok," Luke said a little breathless.

"I just, I couldn't help myself. The thing is, and I know this isn't fair, but I miss you Luke," Noah confessed and Luke felt his heart fall to tiny pieces in his chest. This wasn't fair. To either of them.

"I have to go. I ah, yeah. Bye," and Luke stepped into the hall. Noah heard the uncertainty and shock in Luke's voice. Noah was never impulsive. He made plans for everything and accounted for every scenario. The one time his did what his body wanted; Luke ran for the hills. Even though that kiss had more heat and passion in it than any kiss they had shared in a long time, he suddenly felt guilty. He hurt Luke again. That was never his intention; he loved Luke. "Tomorrow when he comes to visit, I'll explain everything," Noah told himself. But first he called the nurse. The entire room smelled like coffee; coffee and Luke.

* * *

Luke closed the door and let out a long shaky breath. His hands were trembling and his heart was going a hundred miles an hour. He ran his hand through his hair and looked up to see Reid standing there. He was on the other side of the hall with his arms crossed and holding a clipboard against his chest.

_Oh Hell!_

"I don't take your calls for a few days, so you switch players?"

"That was not what it looked like," Luke quickly said and crossed the hall to stay in front of Reid.

"Really? What was it then? Because to me, it looked like you were making out with your ex. Oh, he's still your "ex" right or am I wrong about that too?" When Luke didn't answer soon enough, Reid turned and started to walk away. Luke reached out and grabbed Reid's arm; hoping that Reid would at least listen to him. Reid felt heat travel through his body when Luke grabbed him.

"Can we talk about this at my place?" Luke desperately needed to talk to him.

"I have to work yet. My daddy didn't give me my job," he was angry and he was lashing out. Luke decided to let that one slide. Reid wasn't looking at him. He knew if he did; he would cave and forgive Luke, but he deserved to be angry right now.

"Then tonight. Come over to my place and we can talk," Luke was near begging now. Reid turned back to face Luke and looked into the blonde's sad eyes. Reid felt himself falter. "Please Reid," Luke voice was so quiet.

"I'm off duty at 6,"

"Ok. I'll see you after that," Luke said as his grip loosened. Reid stepped away and Luke's hand slid down Reid's arm and into his hand. Luke lightly brushed the back of Reid's hand with his thumb; like what Reid did earlier in the week. Reid felt his entire body heat up as Luke's skin brushed his; like a spark igniting dry brush.

"I'll need to change. I'll be over about 7."

"All right. Seven. I'll ah, see you then."

Reid just nodded and walked away. Luke left right after and went home. He would fix this. He had to fix this.

* * *

Reid didn't get to Luke's until 7:20 pm; because he kept talking himself out and then back in to going to Luke's. He wanted to be with him, he really did, but Luke was dancing around them and their relationship. And he wasn't sure he wanted to wait around. But it was _**Luke**_ and on so many levels, he was worth waiting for. Reid decided to knock instead of using his key.

Luke had been pacing around the apartment since the clock struck 7. With each passing minute he was sure that Reid had changed his mind and wasn't coming. He had been planning out what he was going to say all afternoon. An "I'm sorry" was first and then a lot of talking. Luke hoped that he would be able to get Reid to see what he was going through and be willing to work with him and perhaps even help him.

Luke heard the knock and jumped to get to the door. He opened it up and saw Reid standing in the hall. He was wearing a maroon button down shirt and distressed jeans. His shirt was untucked; which Luke noticed right away. He was so use to seeing Reid neat and presentable, but this looked good too. Hell, Reid looked good no matter what.

"Hi. I was afraid you weren't going to come."

"I almost didn't," Reid said in an emotionless voice. Luke had to swallow back the lump in his throat.

"Come in," Luke said as he stepped back and Reid slowly walked inside. Luke closed and locked the door and felt his hands immediately start sweating. "I guess I have some questions to answer," Luke said and tried to keep his voice as light as he could.

"You could say that. I just have one."

"Yeah?"

"What am I to you?" Reid asked as he turned to face him and Luke was reminded of the conversation that he had with Noah nearly a year and a half ago.

"You're my boyfriend."

"Really? And what is Noah?"

"He's my ex-boyfriend."

"That's not what it looked like to me!" Reid was trying to keep his temper down, but the closer he got to Luke the harder it was.

"What you saw was an accident. I know that is hard to believe but it was."

"What? You slipped and fell on Noah's lips?"

"Sort of, but not quite," Luke explained and Reid looked at him with disbelief and confusion. "Noah spilled his coffee and I was helping clean it up. He kissed me and I kissed him back."

"I am out of here!" Reid said and tried to walk around Luke.

"Reid wait! Just listen to me, please," Luke asked again. Reid wanted to go and not come back, but looking at Luke he just couldn't and he gave in. He sat down on one end of Luke's leather couch and Luke sat at the other. "Ok," Luke was stumped on how to start this. He just decided to let his heart do the talking.

"You have to understand. Noah was my first. My first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first…,"

"Ok, I get it," Reid said over Luke, waving hand for emphasis. He really didn't want to hear about Luke and Noah together. He had a hard enough time witnessing the kiss, he did not want to imagine more than that.

"Anyway, he had a hold on my heart for a long time and to just let those feelings go is really hard. He was my first everything. I never meant for what happened today. It's just, I can't just turn off the feelings I have for him. That's just not me. I can't turn my back on a person who was a huge part of my life. I am who I am because I loved him and because he loved me. Do you understand?"

"I think so. So, are you two getting back together?" Reid dared to ask.

"Do you think I would be here begging for you to talk to me if I was? No, we're not."

"Ok, I have one more question."

"What is it?" Luke leaned a bit closer; he was still on his side of the couch, but he could reach out and touch Reid now.

"If I hadn't seen you two today, would you have told me?" Reid asked as he looked at Luke. He looked like he was thinking about how to answer this one. "You know what nevermind," he said, getting up when Luke's answer didn't come fast enough.

"Where are you going?"

"Anywhere but here."

"Reid wait! It was one kiss! I know you should be angry with me. Hell I would be if it was you, but you are not even trying to talk to me."

"I just can't!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm in love with you! That's why!"

There it was. Out there all to see. There was no closing Pandora's box now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay Tuned!  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Noah's bandages are removed!  
> DUN DUN DUN!


	19. Explanations

"Did you hear what I just said?" Reid asked, well, demanded would be closer.

"Yeah, I heard you," Luke said panic slipping into his chest.

"That's all I'm gonna get? I stand here and tell you that I'm in love with you and that's all I get?"

"Reid, I…,"

"What?!" Reid didn't want to yell at Luke, he really didn't. But what was he supposed to do? He knew he was in love with Luke for a couple weeks now. When he looked at Luke or kissed him or heard him laugh he knew that he wanted to be with him for as long as he possibly could. The last time he felt like this was his last long term boyfriend during medical school and now that he confessed to Luke how much he cared about him; he regretted the decision. It was a lapse in judgment. Luke had managed to break down the walls around Reid and in one second, he also helped build them back up. Reid stood there, in Luke's living room, staring at the blonde. He just couldn't be here anymore. Without saying another word, he walked past Luke and slammed the door behind him.

Luke didn't stop him. Didn't chase after him. He watched him leave and suddenly regretted not saying _**anything** _ back.

* * *

Reid slammed the front door to Katie's apartment and his roommate jumped. She saw Reid stomp into the kitchen and take a beer out of the fridge. She watched him flip off the top and immediately guzzle the entire bottle. Katie eyebrows shot up in surprise. She slowly got off the couch and walked into the kitchen. She stood for a moment and just looked at him. He finally noticed that she was standing there and dropped the empty bottle into the recycling bin. Katie stopped him by wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him into a hug. Reid didn't resist, not one second. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and leaned into the embrace. She lightly rubbed her hands up and down his back; soothing him. Katie rested her chin on his shoulder; bringing her cheek to cheek with him.

"Did you lose a patient?"

"Not exactly. Can I talk to you?"

"Of course. How many times did I cry on your shoulder?"

"True. I've been seeing someone," he said quickly and matter of factly.

"Ok," she answered; letting him lead the conversation.

"I ah, I told him that I loved him," he said in a quiet voice. Katie gasped involuntarily. She covered her mouth after the sound came out and he could read in her eyes that she was sorry. "And he didn't say anything back,"

"Oh Reid, I'm so sorry."

"Yeah well. At least I won't have to worry about missing him when I go back to Dallas. Now will I?" Katie's heart was breaking for her friend. He finally allowed himself to be happy and he gets his heart stomped on. "I'm going to go to my room for a little while," he gave Katie a quick peck on the cheek and walked into his bedroom.

Katie didn't know what to do. With Reid, you didn't push. He wasn't going to open up just because she wanted him to. She would have to wait for him to come to her. She knew he would, if she just let him be. She sat down on the couch and finished folding Jacob's laundry. She had just put all of it back into the basket, when the door bell rang. When she opened the door, there stood her cousin, Luke.

"Hi Katie. Is Reid here?" Luke asked and Katie could tell that Luke looked miserable standing there with his hands shoved deeply in his pockets. _Maybe this had something to do with Noah?_

"What do you want Luke?" Katie heard behind her and turned to see her roommate standing there with his arms crossed. He did not look happy to see Luke standing in her doorway.

"I want to talk to you," Luke simply said. _Ok, maybe this didn't have **anything** to do with Noah._

"You know what? I have to run to grocery store anyway. I'll be back in a couple hours," she said as she grabbed her purse and stepped past Luke. She turned back and grabbed his arm. Luke turned and looked at her with a confused expression. "Don't screw this up!" She said a hard whisper. Luke nodded and then she was out the door.

"What do you want?" Reid stood back and stared at his…hell, he didn't even know what he was right now.

"I'm sorry."

"And what exactly are you sorry for?"

"For everything. I'm sorry for the kiss. I'm sorry for not saying anything when you said…what you said."

"You mean when I told you that I loved you? Not saying it out loud will not make it unsaid Luke."

"You're right. I'm sor…," Reid quickly cut him off.

"I swear, if you say you're sorry one more time," Reid responded through gritted teeth. He was fighting really hard to control his anger right now.

"Ok. I won't say it. I will say this. Thank you," Luke said in a sincere voice. Reid was confused and his face showed as much. "Can we sit for a second? I need to tell you some things," Reid reluctantly agreed and they sat down on Katie's couch; each at opposite ends. Luke was facing Reid and Reid was looking straight forward; this was going to be harder than he thought. Luke took a deep breath and started to talk. He didn't have anything in particular planned; he just decided to let the words come.

"I have said 'I love you' to only two men my whole life. There was Noah, but the first was Kevin. He was my best friend in high school. He totally freaked out and outed me to everyone. With Noah…," Reid stopped him right there.

"I really don't want to hear about you and Noah right now," Reid said curtly. He was still picturing Luke and Noah kissing and the jealousy was eating at his gut. If he was going to get through this conversation, he did not want that image in his head.

"Just let me explain," Luke said in a calm voice. Reid took in deep breath and let him continue. "Both of those relationships were completely screwed up. Kevin and I were so close and me admitting that I loved him destroyed any kind of friendship we may have had in the future; he just couldn't handle it. With Noah our relationship was a train wreck from the beginning. Sure we had a lot of great times, but it was always the same problems that come back to haunt us. I don't want that to happen with you. I care about you Reid. _**A lot**_. I really do. I wouldn't be here trying to fix this if I didn't think it was worth fixing. I want us to work. I'm just not ready to say those words to you yet. I'm sorry. You wanted honesty and I'm being honest. I really care about you, but I can't say **_'that'_** to you, at least not yet."

Reid felt his heart lighten as Luke talked. He knew when someone was paying him lip service and Luke wasn't. He was sincere and Reid was grateful for that. He tried not to, but a small smile came across his face. Luke did notice, but tried to keep himself from pushing his luck.

"Luke, I do love you. The last time I felt this was way was with my last boyfriend in Med school. We were together for a long time, almost five years, and when we split up. Let's just say it was hard to get over that. I appreciate you telling me the truth and I do believe you, but I can't wait forever until you decide how you feel about me. I am going to be going back to Dallas at some point and I would really love for you to go with me," Reid said in a calm voice and Luke simply nodded. There was really nothing he could say to that.

"I better go. Can I call you tomorrow?" Luke asked as he stood up.

"I'll call you, ok?" Reid followed suit and stood to face Luke.

"Yeah. That's fine."

The two men walked to the front door and stood in silence for a few seconds. Luke decided that he had to cement what he just said to Reid. He stepped closer to Reid and lightly brushed his lips across Reid's. Reid softly returned the kiss and caressed Luke's cheek for a moment. Luke stepped back and opened the door. He gave Reid one last look and left. Reid leaned heavily on the door.

This just got a lot more complex.

* * *

Two days later Noah was sitting up in his hospital bed and was listening to everything. There were two nurses talking about the new intern in the pediatrics ward and apparently he was hot. The little boy next door, who likes to jump on his bed when no one is looking, is begging his mom for chocolate and Spongebob cartoons. There was the reassuring beeps from his heart monitor, which was getting removed today. It wasn't that he didn't like the constant beep from the machine, but the tape that held the monitor on him, itched. He was listening to everything and hoping to hear the one sound that made his day complete. The one voice that always made his day better.

Luke was supposed to come to visit today. He called yesterday and told him that he wasn't going to be able to come. Noah did his best to disguise his disappointment, but he was sure Luke knew that he was faking it. He really wasn't able to hide anything from Luke. Not lying was part of it was his military upbringing, but the real reason was that he just could not lie to him. Not that ever wanted to keep anything from him.

And the kiss that he shared with Luke just re-enforced everything that he knew was true.

That he and Luke were meant to be. It was that simple. Luke and him were supposed to grow old together and get married and have kids and do all those things that two people in love do.

After Luke left that afternoon, Noah kept replaying the kiss over and over again in his mind. It was then that he realized that he and Luke had not kissed in almost six months. Not since that day in the park right before he went off to the rehab center. It was the end of November and kiss had been Luke's goodbye to him. Their last kiss was mere seconds versus the several minutes that they shared two days ago. And Luke didn't pull away, at least not at first. He was right there with him from start to finish and he did kiss Noah back. He heard the door creak open and he sat a little taller in his bed.

But it wasn't Luke that came in. It was Dr. Oliver.

"Good morning Mr. Mayer," Reid said as he closed the door.

"Good morning."

"How are you feeling today?"

"I'm getting a little stir crazy. Can't wait to get these bandages off."

"Well, if the tests I'm going to run turn out, they'll come off today."

"What? Really? Oh, Dr. Oliver you have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that. I was starting to think that these things were never coming off."

"Yeah. I'm going to go get a nurse and we'll get started."

"What time about will you know? I want to call Luke and I was wondering what time to give him."

"Mr. Mayer, I would appreciate it if Mr. Snyder wasn't here today," Reid said as he crossed his arms.

"Why? What did he do now? I thought you were ok with him coming to see me."

"I was, but I really don't want to see him today."

"Oh. All right," Noah didn't even try to disguise the disappointment in his voice. Reid turned to leave, but stopped in the doorway. "The tests should be done about 4," and he was gone. If Luke wanted to choose tall, dark, and boring, why should he get in the way?

* * *

At four, Luke was walking towards Noah's room and stopped before he collided with Reid. Both men stood quiet for a few moments until Luke spoke first.

"Noah called me and told me the news."

"I figured he would. I told him I didn't want to see you today."

"Why?"

"Why do you think Mr. Snyder," Reid said in an almost unfeeling tone. Luke's heart broke when he heard Reid call him Mr. Snyder. He hadn't done that in a long time.

"I really am sorry. I miss you," Luke said as he reached out and lightly took Reid's hand in his. Reid grabbed his arm and pulled him into an empty patient room. Luke pulled his arm away and turned to face him. "What?!"

"I can't do this," he was pacing around slightly.

"Do what?"

"I can't be the thing that distracts you while you wait for your _soul mate_. I refuse to do it."

"What?!? Ok fine! But if you think for one second that I am going to turn my back on a friend when he has no family then you really don't love me. Because you really don't know me at all! This jealousy thing is getting really old. This is the exact thing that broke Noah and I up. I will not be a relationship with someone who does not trust me!"

"Trust you! Trust you? Luke, I caught you kissing him!"

"Kiss being the operative word; singular. We kissed that's all. I never once cheated on you! My god! If you want me to make a choice! Fine! I chose you the other night when I came to see you, you arrogant son of a bitch!" Luke brushed past; giving him a healthy shove and was out into the hall. The door slammed hard behind him. Reid had never seen Luke so angry. He stayed in the patient room of another minute before he followed Luke out.

Reid opened the door to Noah's room and found Luke standing near his bed. They weren't holding hands or touching at all. Reid looked at Luke and saw those warm brown eyes and soft smile and his stomach knotted up. The guilt for his treatment of Luke made him nauseous. He regretted the fight they just had. He was angry for the whole situation and instead of talking it out; he lashed out.

"All right Noah. Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Noah said in a very nervous voice. He was terrified of what was to come. What if it didn't work? What was he supposed to do then? He wanted to be with Luke so badly, but he could barely take care of himself let alone be in a relationship with someone else. Maybe that was why he didn't try very hard at the rehab center. He thought he had other options. He listened and took in what they said, but he never really tried. If this didn't work, he was going to have to start all over again and where did that put him and Luke.

Reid sat on the edge of Noah's bed and started to unwind the gauze around his head. Luke stood back at the foot of his bed. He didn't want to be in the way. He watched Reid work. He had never seen Reid in real doctor mode before. Here Luke was; standing in the room with his ex and current boyfriend. Since when did his life become a Jerry Springer episode?

"Ok Noah, slowly open your eyes. How does everything look?" Reid asked as he pulled the last of the bandages away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, whatta think?  
> I hope that you guys are not going to mutiny! I did say that he was getting the bandages off and technically he did. :)  
> Stay Tuned!  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Noah makes a little discovery.  
> DUN DUN DUN!


	20. Unspoken Feelings

"Ok Noah, slowly open your eyes. How does everything look?" Reid asked as he pulled the last of the bandages away. Luke could really see what Noah looked like now. His curly hair was gone; sacrificed to the surgery. There was a long row of staples that went from ear to ear over the top of his head. He was in desperate need of a shave, but Luke always thought that stubble on him looked sexy. He just looked tired and Luke couldn't blame him. He had been living in this room since his surgery. Luke knew from experience it was near impossible to get a good night's sleep in here. There was always people moving about or coming in to check on you.

Noah winced as the light bled through his barely open eyes. Reid looked over his shoulder at Luke and nodded toward the light switch. Luke dimmed the lights and returned to the foot of the bed.

"Noah. I really need you to open your eyes for me."

"It hurts."

"That's a good sign, isn't?" Luke asked with a bit of fear in his voice which Reid noticed right away.

"Noah, open your eyes," Reid told him as he took Noah's face in his hands. Noah very slowly opened his eyes and the light was much less this time, but it still hurt. He finally opened his eyes all the way and cast his eyes around the room.

Luke held his breath as he waited for some sign that Noah was able to see. And he got it.

Noah looked right at him and smiled.

"Hello Luke," Noah breathed out when he was able to look into those limitless brown eyes.

"Hello Noah," Luke said as he smiled. Noah's eyes were still the most beautiful shade of blue.

Reid clenched his jaw as the ex-lovers exchanged greetings and shared a moment. It hurt to see that look on Noah's face. That was utter happiness on his face.

"Mr. Snyder, I need to examine Noah. Please wait outside." Reid went back to his formal greeting to Luke. He wasn't sure if Luke noticed or not.

"Ok. I'll be right outside," Luke said as he opened and closed the door. Then he realized something. Who was he talking to just then? He pushed that thought away and fished his phone from his pocket. He needed to make some calls. It was just like Noah to not tell anyone when the bandages were coming off. The first one he called was his mom. She was ecstatic and angry at Noah for not saying anything to her. The whole thing with Damian and now Faith getting in trouble at school had her pulled in few different directions. The next call was to Maddie. Luke had to pull the phone away from his ear to avoid the scream that came out of her.

Reid came out of Noah's room and saw Luke standing in the hall on his phone. His back was to the doctor and he was talking excitedly to someone. Reid could hear the pure happiness that Noah could see in Luke's voice . He smiled to himself slightly while he watched Luke. He was happy and Reid didn't want to ruin this moment for him. Even though it was hard for him to do it, he turned around and walked away from Luke.

Luke hung up his phone and looked toward Noah's room. He glanced through the small window in the door and saw that Noah was alone. He was standing, looking out the window with is back to the door. Luke took a breath to steady himself and walked inside. Noah didn't turn to look who had walked in; he could smell Luke's aftershave.

"I'm glad you're still here," Noah said over his shoulder.

"Me too. Didn't you call anyone to tell them about the bandages coming off?" Luke asked as he stepped closer to Noah. Noah turned to face Luke and an uncontrollable smile spread across his face.

"You were the only one I could think of," Noah said plainly. "Luke, I…," Noah was cut off by Luke's phone.

"I'm sorry. I'll see who it is and turn it off."

As soon as he answered it, he was assaulted by his assistant voice franticly relaying a huge problem at work. Apparently a shipment had come into New York without the proper papers and they were being held by Customs. Luke told him to calm down and he would be right there.

"I'm sorry. I have to go to work and I don't know if I'll be able to come back before visiting hours are over."

"Hey, it's ok. I'm sure I'll have a ton of visitors this evening. Tomorrow?"

"Sure. Tomorrow. And we can talk then," Luke said as he lightly brushed Noah's arm. He felt his pulse spike when Luke's fingers brushed against his bare skin. Luke left and Noah turned to face the window. He wanted to take it all in. He looked out over the spring day and saw nothing but blue sky and trees just starting to bud. He was sad that he missed winter, but he was so looking forward to seeing what a new season had to offer. Especially after he would finally be able to talk to Luke tomorrow.

* * *

Luke managed to get home by nine and dropped into the sofa. It was Tuesday and he knew where Reid was right now. He pulled out his cell and called him. The phone went to voicemail, as Luke knew it would, and he left Reid a message.

"I knew you wouldn't answer. I'm just calling to say that I was so impressed by you today. I have never seen you in full doctor mode before and I gotta tell ya, it was pretty hot," Luke laughed slightly to show Reid that this was a friendly message. "I guess I'll keep this short, but I do want to say that I miss you and hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight," Luke hung up the phone and let out a long breath. What was he going to do? He had a boyfriend who loved him and wanted him to move across the country and an ex-boyfriend who loved him, but didn't to be in a relationship with him. He decided that he was not going to think about it right now. He was going to go to bed and figure it out tomorrow.

* * *

Reid was walking into the elevator when he saw Luke standing in the hall. He lived two floors below, so this wasn't a "I was in the neighborhood" sort of thing. He stopped in his tracks when Luke made eye contact with him. The blonde straightened up and took a couple steps toward him.

"Hi," Luke was able to say.

"Hi," Reid said back. Both men stood in silence for a few seconds, but it was Reid this time who spoke first. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, well, last night was Tuesday and the results show for "Dancing with the Stars" was on. You always stay up late watching it, which makes you sleep in. So, I went out and bought you a cinnamon raisin bagel and coffee. Caramel latte, whipped cream and extra shot, just how you like it," Luke said as he handed Reid the white paper bag and an insulated coffee cup. Reid was shocked. He wasn't sure how to react. He took what was offered and looked at Luke. He was being so thoughtful and considerate even after the fights they've been having.

"Thank you. I, ah, well you didn't have to do this."

"I know. I wanted do something nice for you."

Both men stood in silence again; each unsure what to say next.

"Did you want to share an elevator?" Luke asked as he gestured toward the double doors at the end of the hall.

"Ah, no. I have to, I forgot something, my cell phone. I'll talk to you later," Reid as he fidgeted with the bag holding his bagel.

"Yeah, I'm going to visit Noah later. Maybe I'll see you then," Luke said and Reid nodded in response. Luke turned and walked to the end of the hall to catch the elevator. Reid watched him step on and disappear behind the doors. He walked to the apartment to retrieve his forgotten cell phone. He found it in his room and saw that he had a message waiting. As he rode the elevator down to lobby alone, he called his voicemail box.

"You have one new message," the computer voice said into his ear.

" _I knew you wouldn't answer. I'm just calling to say that I was so impressed by you today. I have never seen you in full doctor mode before and I gotta tell ya, it was pretty hot,"_ Luke laughed and Reid had to smile at how nice it sounded. _"I guess I'll keep this short, but I do want to say that I miss you and hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight."_

Reid closed his phone and stuck it his pocket.

_I am an idiot. Man, did I make a royal mess out of this._

* * *

Noah was standing at the window of his second floor room staring out and enjoying it all. The kids playing at the park across the street. The feel of the sun warming his skin. The birds floating on the spring air. He was suddenly so grateful for so many things. And he saw another thing he was grateful for. Noah could see Dr. Oliver coming into the hospital. Then he was grateful for Luke and stubbornness that brought the Dr. Oliver here. Noah knew he was pushing it by staring out into the light, but after being in the dark for so long, he just could not resist.

About a half hour later Dr. Oliver came into Noah's room and found him in the same place.

"Noah, you really shouldn't push it. Your eyes are still very weak."

"I know you're right, but I just can't stop looking."

"Well, that maybe true, but going blind a second time would be a terrible career move, besides it would make me look bad. Come sit down and I'll take a look."

Noah sat on the edge of his bed and Dr. Oliver started to run through his tests. He checked Noah's vitals, the incision area, and he checked that Noah's eyes were responding to stimuli. Everything seemed to be looking good; like Reid said before, textbook.

"Well, Mr. Mayer, despite this hospital's efforts, you are actually doing quite well."

"Thanks. Does that mean I'll get to leave soon?"

"Yes, I don't see why not. I think one more day should do it and then I'll release you," he said as he turned to walk out. He stopped in the door and turned back toward Noah. "Oh, if you want to look out the window, I'd suggest you get some sunglasses."

Noah knew that Luke was coming to visit and he could not wait. He was able to change and take a shower. These were the little things that he always took for granted. He was finally able to do all those things without having to carefully map everything out. He could just tie his shoes and pick out a shirt. He was able to shave and brush his teeth without someone having to help him. He was so sure that he going to be locked inside his head forever. Now he would be able to do all the things that he was missing so much. Finally being able to see Luke was top of his list.

* * *

Luke was just getting in his car at Grimaldi when he got a text from Reid.

_**~Where are you right now?~** _

_At Grimaldi. I'm getting in my car to come to the hospital. Where are you? ;)_

_**~I waiting for you to get here. I have to tell you something.~** _

_Do I get a hint? ;)_

_**~I want to wait until you get here!~** _

_I'll be there in five minutes. :)_

And indeed, five minutes later Luke was parking his car in front of Memorial Hospital. He was lucky, he never got a front row spot. He enjoyed the warm weather as he got out his car. He pulled his coat off and threw it inside before he closed the door and started across the parking lot.

* * *

Noah was again standing at his window. The day was utterly gorgeous and maybe he could convince Luke to go for a walk, even it was just a short one. He smiled as he saw Luke pull into the hospital parking lot. He only knew one person who drives like that. Noah winced as Luke seemed to skim into the parking spot. Luke once asked Noah why he always had to drive, Noah's answer, he wanted to get where he was going without ending up going through the windshield.

* * *

Reid was standing just inside the doors of the hospital lobby. When Luke texted him that he was going to be there in five minutes, he rushed to get to door. He wanted to do something and he didn't want to wait until he got off work. He saw Luke pull into the parking lot and wondered how he ever got his license. He drove like an old lady. He walked out to greet him.

* * *

Luke turned toward the hospital, took a few steps away from his car and saw Reid walking out. He smiled and waved slightly. He wasn't sure what Reid wanted to talk about, but at least he wanted to talk. That was a good step in the right direction. He walked around a large truck and felt Reid grab him around the waist and move them between the truck and another car.

* * *

Noah saw Luke wave at someone and he followed Luke's eye line. It was Dr. Oliver. Noah was glad that they had managed to get over their differences and be at least civil to each other. The entire time that they were together yesterday, neither one sniped at the other. It was a step in right direction. He watched Dr. Oliver grab Luke and push them between two cars. His eyebrow furrowed as he squinted to watch them.

* * *

"Ah! Reid what are you doing?" He nearly shouted when he felt Reid grab him around his waist and walked them back between two cars.

"I want to tell you something," he said with a deep voice and a raised eyebrow.

"Someone will see us," Luke whispered quietly. Reid reached up and cup the side of Luke's neck; rubbing his thumb against Luke's jaw. Luke's eyes closed as he felt Reid warm hand against his cool skin. He leaned into Reid's movements and bit back the moan that wanted to make itself known. His entire body started to tingle.

"Would that be bad?" Again with that deep voice. Luke felt his body reacting and Reid hadn't even done anything yet.

"Do you, want anyone here, to know who you're seeing?" Luke said; he took long pauses to make sure he knew what he was saying. Reid looked around and saw that they were pretty well hidden behind these two cars. No one could see them.

"No one can see us," Reid said as he pulled Luke to him and their lips crashed together.

* * *

No one could see them, save one.

Noah felt like the floor had dropped out and he was sinking into oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Noah knows now! What will he do now?!  
> Thanks for stopping by! Don't forget to review! Let me know what you think!  
> Stay Tuned!  
> In the next episode of Time to Say Goodbye - Noah does something that he wishes he could take back.


	21. Everything is Known

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger warning. EEEK!  
> Don't hate me.

Noah didn't know how long he had been staring at Luke and Reid before he finally pulled himself away. He walked to the edge of his bed and collapsed down onto it. He felt a cold wave run through his entire body and he felt like he was shaking all over. He dropped his head into his hands and had the one thought that he never, ever thought he would have.

" _I wish I couldn't see right now!"_

Luke pulled Reid closer to him and Reid moaned when Luke's hands slid under his lab coat. Luke's hands dug into Reid's lower back, pulling his body against Luke. Reid's hands braced himself on the truck they had snuck behind. Luke finally had to pull away when his need for oxygen outweighed his need for Reid. He rested his forehead against his boyfriend's and took in long slow breaths to calm his pounding heart. The laugh that came out was involuntary and Reid looked at him with a confused smile.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just, whatever I did to warrant **_that_** , remind me to do it again." Luke smile was infectious and Reid's matched his boyfriend's.

"Well, just being you seems to do it."

"I better get inside," Luke said as he cheeks flushed. He was mostly sure that the red in cheeks was the cool weather and not his hot boyfriend, but that was just a **_mostly_** sure.

"Me too. Can I come over tonight?" Reid asked as he looked down and took Luke's hands in his. He was acting bashful; he never acted this way. He also never asked for permission to come over; Luke found it to be quite cute.

"Yeah. My couch is too big for just one person you know," Luke responded with a cheeky smile. Reid raised an eyebrow and Luke couldn't help but kiss him. He gave him quick peck on the lips and ducked out of Reid's grasp.

* * *

Noah didn't even remember walking back to the window. He could see Dr. Oliver with his back to him and Luke was leaning against the truck. Was this the guy that Luke had been seeing? The whole time Dr. Oliver was treating him they were sleeping together. Noah could feel the heat rising up inside of him from his stomach and radiating down his arms. His adrenaline was pumping and he had never been so angry in his entire life. He watched Luke playfully pull away from Dr. Oliver and walk towards the lobby doors. Noah looked down at the doctor and watched him for a moment. He had a look that Noah couldn't recognize on his face. Was it triumph? Or lust? Noah didn't know and he wasn't sure he cared. He just needed to talk to Luke. He started to pace as he waited for Luke.

* * *

Luke knocked on Noah's door and slowly peeked inside. Noah was standing with his back to the door and looking out the window. Luke could see Noah's silhouette against the now slightly cloudy sky. His body was tight and his arms were in front of him. He looked really tense.

"Hey Noah," Luke said, trying to sound light as he stepped inside and closed the door. "Glad to be out of the hospital gown?" Luke asked taking in Noah in a pair of lounge pants and a t-shirt. Noah turned to face Luke. His eyes were red and his breathing was ragged. "What's wrong?" Luke didn't hide the concern he felt as he crossed the room and stood in front of his friend.

"Were you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Luke asked as he put a loving hand on Noah's arm. Noah knocked the hand away and Luke looked at him in shock.

"I am not an idiot, so do not treat me like one! You and Dr. Oliver! How long were you going to wait to tell me?" Luke mouth dropped open when he heard the words come out of Noah. Luke felt his heart drop.

"How did you find out?"

"I saw you Luke. Just now in the fucking parking lot! Making out in public, that's classy," Noah was aiming to wound, but he just pissed Luke off instead.

"How many times did we make out in Olde Towne? So, _**do not**_ judge me!"

"Why Luke?" Noah sounded more hurt than angry.

"It sort of just happened and then it kept happening and then I wanted it to keep happening."

"I was standing here thinking, that this couldn't be true. Luke would not keep something like this from me. He would never lie to me. But then it hit me. Was this part of my treatment? To get him to stay? Part of the deal? If I had known that my boyfriend was part of the negotiations…,"

"Fuck you Noah! You left me! Remember! You broke up with me! My god, I am so tired of having to remind **_everyone_** of that! What did you expect me to do? Wait around until you wanted me back? You have done this to me so many times! Did you ever think, for one second, that I might not come back?"

"Oh what? You're the victim in all of this? Totally blameless?"

"I am not perfect! I have never said that I was. What exactly is my crime Noah? Huh? Enlighten me. Tell me where I was wrong in this."

"You should have told me!"

"You knew I was seeing someone."

"But Dr. Oliver? Luke, he's horrible."

"No, he's not."

* * *

A nurse walking by heard the raised voices and made a call to security. She was too terrified to go in alone. Reid was Bob office going over a patients chart when the call for security to the second floor room 173 was called out. Bob didn't even see Reid run out of the room. Reid ran the entire distance from the administration wing to opposite end of the hospital where Noah's room was. He found three nurses standing outside listening to a very heated argument. Reid told all of them to get back to work and he stepped closer to the door, listening.

* * *

"What exactly is your problem with all of this? That I am seeing Reid or that I'm not pining after you anymore?"

"That is not what this is about!"

"Really? You have done this over and over to me, for **_years_**! First you got jealous when you saw me having coffee with Roth. Then after I told you that Reg asked me out and you saw us together, you got jealous again. Hell, Noah you hated any amount of time that I spent with him. You were furious when you heard that I was seeing someone and now you're pissed because you found out it was Reid. You only seem to want me when you can't have me."

"Don't you think that you are overreacting just a little bit?"

"No, I really don't."

* * *

Reid stood at the door and was tapped on the shoulder by hospital security. It was a tall Hispanic man with a goatee and a blue windbreaker with SECURITY etched across the back and "Eddie" in small print just above his heart. Reid moved out of the way and the security guard knocked on the door. The shouting stopped and the guard opened the door; Reid followed right behind him. Noah was standing by the window and Luke was on the other side of the room. Reid could feel the tension in the air; like the electricity just before a lighting storm. He could see that both of them were extremely upset.

"We got a call that there's some kind of fight going on in here."

"Everything's fine, sir," Luke quickly said.

"Uh huh?" The guard replied, totally unconvinced. "Is that right sir?" The guard asked Noah.

"Yeah. Everything's fine," Noah replied with a tight jaw.

"I'll stay here, uh, Eddie. Everything will all right from now on," Reid said as he opened the door for the guard. Eddie looked at all three men and left them alone. Reid closed the door and walked closer to Luke. "Are you ok?" He whispered to Luke, but Noah still heard him.

"Is he ok?! From what I can see, you too are just fine!"

"Look Noah, I'm sorry, but…," Reid tried to talk, but Noah quickly cut him off.

"Oh you're sorry! Are you sorry that you forced me to break up with Luke or how about the kiss I just witnessed?" Both Luke and Reid looked at Noah with confusion. "Dr. Oliver knew that I could see the parking lot from my window and he knew that I would see you. So, is it a coincidence that he just happened to kiss you where I could see you?"

Luke crossed his arms and stared at his feet for a second. He could hear Noah's breathing becoming more and more ragged as their argument progressed.

"Is that true? Did you know that Noah would see us?"

"Not at first, I just, I wanted to kiss you, to say I was sorry for our fight, and it wasn't until you walked inside that it hit me that he would see us," Reid tried to explain. Luke wasn't sure that he believed him or not. He was too upset with everything to think anything through at the moment.

"You know, whatever happened between my boyfriend and I is really none of your business," Luke said as he looked at Noah. His eyes locked with Noah's and the brunette felt his stomach clench and his heart stop. Did he hear Luke right?

"Boyfriend?" Noah asked, trying to get an explanation from Luke, anything that would make sense at this moment.

"That's right," Luke said in a soft voice. Noah turned away from the two men and started to pace around the room. The walls were closing in and the floor was spinning. He felt like he was the worse carnival ever created. He was dizzy and hot and felt like he was falling down. Luke wanted to help Noah to make this better for him. He suddenly felt so guilty for not telling Noah the truth right away. But seeing Noah's reaction to the news, he knew that keeping it from him was the right decision. There is no way Noah would have left Reid help him if he found out earlier. Even if Noah hated him for keeping this from him, at least he was well now. He could move on with his life too.

Reid lightly brushed Luke's arm and took a step toward Noah. He felt bad to the young man. It was very evident that he still loved Luke very much and Reid wanted to be sure that they all got something out of this. He would get Luke, Luke would get to start a new life with him in Dallas, and Noah would be able to move on with his life.

"Noah. Can you stop pacing and look at me?" He asked as he put his hands out in front of him and tried not jar the young man. Noah looked at him with red-rimmed eyes and an almost vacate stare. "We are sorry for this. Neither one of us meant for this to happen. It just did. We fell in love."

"Reid," Luke said quickly and grabbed his boyfriend's arm. He pulled him to the other side of the room, out of Noah's ear shot. Reid looked at him and searched his face for an explanation. "Why did you tell him that?"

"Because it's the truth."

* * *

Noah could not hear anything. He felt his heart racing, his lungs contracting and expanding painfully in his chest. The blood was rushing through his ears and bile was rising into his throat. The clenching in his stomach was now burning. It was as if his entire being was revolting against what these two men, who he trusted, were telling him. Telling him these horrible words. Luke loved him?

He trusted Reid with his life.

He trusted Luke with his heart.

Right now neither seemed to matter. All he knew was he was seeing red and it was directed at his doctor. He looked up and saw the two men standing near the window arguing, but Noah could not hear them speaking over the pounding of his own heart. Noah straightened up and walked across the room. He grabbed the shorter man's arm, spun him around, and connected his right fist with Reid's face.

"NOAH!" Luke screamed and then jumped in front of Reid. The red-head cupped his mouth and turned away. Luke put his hands to Noah's chest and pushed him away. "What is the matter with you?"

"Him! YOU STOLE MY WHOLE LIFE!" He screamed as he tried to reach Reid with Luke was still standing in between them.

"ENOUGH!" Luke yelled and pushed Noah even harder. Noah was larger than Luke, but Luke was able to get him to back away a few feet. The momentum caused Noah to hit the edge of the bed and fall into his back. Luke felt terrible for having to use force against him, but he was acting crazy. He looked at him for another minute to sure he was ok and turned back to Reid. He took Reid's face in his hands and turned him towards the open curtains and into the sunlight. Noah had split his lip and blood was running down his chin. Luke lightly touched the open wound and Reid pulled away as pain jolt through his mouth and jaw.

"Are you ok?" Luke asked. Reid turned his gaze back up to Luke. The sun was shining off Reid's blue eyes and Luke couldn't help, but smile.

"I am now," Reid reached up and latched into Luke's wrists.

Noah slowly rose to his feet and charged at Reid. He hit his intended target. Both men landed hard on the floor; Noah on top of Reid. Reid knocked his head hard against the linoleum floor and Noah crashed on top of him, knocking all the air out his body. Reid felt the room spin around him.

The sudden rush of cold air that blasted over Noah brought him back from his near frenzy. He leaned back into his knees and Reid pulled himself away from Noah. Reid stood up and looked out the window. Noah joined him and looked down. There laying in the shrubs at the edge of the parking lot was the unconscious body of Luke Snyder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! I love feedback!  
> Stay Tuned!  
> On The Next Episode of Time to Say Goodbye - Everything between Luke and Noah comes to a head.


	22. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing Reid in doctor mode.  
> This was one of my favorite chapters to write.

"LUKE!" Noah yelled down two stories. He couldn't move. What had he caused?! Luke didn't look like he was moving.

Reid turned and ran out into the hall. He slammed through the emergency stairs door, down the two flights of stairs, and barreled through the ER. He was calling out demands as he went by and nurses were scrambling to get everything he was ordering.

Luke felt pain everywhere. He tried to open his eyes, but the blinding light caused his head to protest. He groaned as he moved his arms and tried to sit up. His stomach lurched and his head felt like it was about to burst. The pain he felt when his kidney problems flared was nothing compared to this.

"I need the backboard over here now!" Luke could hear Reid's voice. It was almost as if he was far away and trying to talk to Luke. All of the sounds he was hearing were garbled and didn't make any sense. He could feel the sun on his face and then he couldn't. A tall descended over him.

"Luke? Baby? Can you hear me?" Reid asked softly. He carefully moved closer to Luke. He was lying on his back in the thick brush that ran along the perimeter of the parking lot. He had complained about them months ago; he suddenly thanked God that the groundskeeper was as lazy as Reid though he was. The bushes were severely overgrown and needed to be trimmed back. If they had been, Luke would be in much worse condition; they helped break his fall, hopefully it was enough. "Luke? Don't try to move. Where does it hurt?"

"My back," he managed to say after he finally found his voice. He tried to move but he felt Reid's hands on his body steadying him.

"I know you want to move or get up, please don't ok. I'm going to take care of you."

Noah joined the small group of hospital workers in the parking lot tending to Luke. More and more were coming out pushing carts full of the medical equipment. He could hear Oliver's voice giving a nurse some instructions. He could feel the warm sun on his body, but he was freezing; a cold sweat breaking over his whole body. He pushed his way through the people and saw Luke lying in the brush, barely moving. Noah could see his chest rise and fall; at least he was still breathing. He walked around them and crouched down next to Luke across from Reid. The redhead locked eyes with Noah for a brief second and went back to checking Luke for injuries.

He wanted to fight Noah. He wanted to punch and kick and hurt the younger man, but feeling Luke's haggard breathing, he was able to push aside the anger that was building in his stomach. At least for the time being. If Reid had his way, Noah would be in prison and never be able to hurt Luke again.

Luke could feel Reid's hands moving along his body; looking for fractures. As he hands touched his lower back, Luke winced in pain. He heard Reid say something to a nurse, but his head was swimming too much to catch any of it. He tried to move, but Reid's hands on his waist told him to stop. 'If I could just straighten out my leg' he thought to himself. He slowly moved his leg and felt searing heat and pain course through his entire body. His scream alerted all that there was more wrong than they thought.

"What?! What is it Luke?" Noah asked desperately.

"My right leg," he gasped through streaming tears. Reid pushed away the brush and saw what was causing his boyfriend so much distress. There was blood everywhere. When he went through the window some of the glass, in large shards, went through his thigh. Reid reached for his belt and yanked it from its loops. He carefully slid the belt under Luke's leg and fed the end through the buckle.

"Luke, baby, this is going to hurt, but I need you to stay as still as possible," Reid said as he looked on Luke's face. The blonde has his eyes tightly closed as he tried to fight through the pain and simply nodded in response.

Noah reached out and put his hands on Luke's chest and hip. Reid saw this and clenched his jaw tight. He did not want Noah to touch Luke in any way, but he needed to stop the bleeding.

"On three, he's going to buck and he's going to do it hard. Hang on to him," he said to Noah and the other man just nodded. "One. Two. THREE!" Reid pulled the belt fast and tight and Luke screamed. It was the hardest thing Noah or Reid had ever had to hear. Luke started to choke on his sobs as the belt cut deep into his leg. Reid hated to cause Luke this much agony, but he needed to stop the bleeding so they could carry him inside. The pain was so intense that Luke was about to pass out. Reid saw his eye lids flutter and he took Luke's face in his hands. "Luke! You have to stay awake! Do you hear me?" Luke groaned softly and Reid pushed on his leg wound.

Luke screamed in pain and his eyes shot open.

"What are you doing?!" Noah questioned and shoved Reid's hand away from Luke's open wound.

"He may have a head injury. If he passes out, he could slip into a coma! We need to stabilize him and then get him into surgery."

The backboard finally arrived along with a neck brace. After securing Luke to the board, Reid, Noah, and two nurses carried Luke into the ER. It was a whirlwind after that. Reid insisted on handling his care. He barked out orders and tended to Luke. As he cut off Luke's jeans, Noah was able to see what had happened, at least a little bit. God, there was so much blood. Two eight inch glass shards went through Luke's leg and nicked an artery. The fact that he was still alive was a miracle. Noah could hear Luke groan in pain as they worked on him.

"Take the glass out!" Noah insisted.

"If I do that then it could sever the artery completely and he will bleed to death. Right now they are keeping the wound closed," Reid answered without looking up. He took Luke's face in his hands again and forced Luke to stay awake. "Luke, you have to stay awake for me. You stay awake a little bit longer and I will make everything better. I promise. Ok, can you do that?"

"Yes," Luke said through gritted teeth. Luke was writhing in pain. He jaw was tight, he pushed his head back, and veins were popping out in his neck. Noah had never seen Luke in pain like this before. He could feel his stomach fighting against him. He felt like he was about to get sick, but he had to keep it together. At least until he found out if Luke was ok. He had been so selfish about their relationship lately and it could not end like this. He could not lose Luke.

"All right, let's move him up to the OR! Move Mr. Mayer!" Reid yelled and brought Noah back to the then and now. He stepped back as the gurney holding his entire life was pushed out of the ER and towards the elevator. Reid and a couple nurses went into the elevator with Luke, but Reid barred Noah from following. Noah knew the hospital like the back of his hand. All of those walks during his recovery in knew that the operating rooms were on the fifth floor. He took the stairs, two at a time and met the gurney as it was being pushed into the OR. Reid was giving directions to the OR nurses, when Bob grabbed his arm, forcing him to a stop.

"What are you doing?" Reid asked in utter disbelief and tried to pull his arm free of Bob's hold.

"You are not performing the operation," Bob said flat out.

"I most certainly am."

"Not in my hospital. You are too emotionally involved Reid," it was the first time Bob had used Reid's first name. "You know that you cannot give adequate care to Luke. I will do it myself,"

Reid wanted to fight, but he knew that Bob Hughes was right. There was no way that he would be able to be emotionally detached when it was Luke on the table. He couldn't logically make impartial decisions when it came to his care. He let out a long sigh, his gaze dropped down, and he slowly nodded his head. Bob turned and started through the restricted area. Reid reached out and touched his shoulder. The older man turned back to face Dr. Oliver.

"He's very important to me. Please do everything you can," he said in a faint whisper. Bob knew Reid and he knew how hard it was to ask for help. He could feel the despair in the young doctor's voice. Bob nodded and promised; all that he could. Reid stood still as Bob walked through the doors and they hissed to a close. Now he was left waiting, just like everyone else.

He looked down and saw blood. Luke's blood. It was all over his arms and clothes. He needed to clean-up. He walked into a nearby locker room and pulled his clothes off. He threw them into the bright orange haz waste bin, not caring, and walked over to the row of sinks that lined one wall. Pulling out a soap sponge, he started to scrub. He scrubbed his hands, his arms and everywhere else he could reach. He rubbed until his skin was raw. He scrubbed at his fingernails; trying to get any bit of blood out from any crevice. Once he realized at that all the soap in the sponge had been used, he pulled on a new pair of scrubs and walked back to the waiting room. When he arrived, Luke's family was already there. He had never spoken to some of them and those he had he hadn't said much.

"Dr. Oliver? How is Luke? What happened?" Lily asked as she saw him enter.

"That's what I would like to know?" Said a deep man's voice. Reid looked up and saw Jack Snyder walking over to them.

"Luke fell out of a second story window and landed in the landscaping brush outside," he head Lily gasp and saw her cover her mouth. He kept going. "He hit his head and has a concussion. He landed on his back, but x-rays showed that nothing was damaged." Good news out the way, now the bad. "He did receive several deep lacerations including two shards of glass, that ah, went through his right thigh," Reid was having a hard time continuing. He could feel himself getting upset. He took a sharp breath, to calm his nerves, and continued. "Those glass shards nicked his, ah, an artery, but did not sever it. Bob has him in the OR right now."

"How did this happen?" Holden demanded. "How does someone fall **_through_** a _**second-story**_ window?!"

"It was my fault," said a quiet voice, sitting behind them. Everyone turned and looked at Noah. He was sitting alone in the bank of chairs. He was leaning forward; his forearms resting on his knees. He was fidgeting with his nails; his knee was bobbing up & down and he was not looking up at anyone.

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked as he sat down next to him. She lightly rubbed his back as he looked at her. She could see the tears fighting to come out of his eyes.

"It was an accident. I ah, I found out that Luke had been seeing Dr. Oliver for the last few months and I got angry."

"And you shoved my son out a window?!" Holden was desperately trying to keep his composure. He thought now that Damian was finally out of his son's life that Luke would be safe. He never thought that Luke would be hurt by the one person he cared about more than anything else.

"Holden! Go on honey," Lily urged Noah to continue.

"Luke and I were arguing and that's when I hit Oliver. Luke pushed me away, but then I dove at Oliver again. We must have hit Luke and knocked him through the window. Mrs. Snyder, I swear it was an accident. I would never hurt Luke," he franticly tried to convince Lily. She had to believe him.

"Well, you managed to do a fine job just the same," Holden muttered and went back to pacing down the hall. Reid suddenly liked Luke's dad. He wasn't fooled by this display by Noah anymore than Reid was. He tried to hurt Reid, but Luke was hurt instead. He was never going to let Noah near Luke again.

Noah felt like his heart was splintering apart inside his chest; cutting him from within. He leaned back in his chair and rested his head against the wall. He had tried so hard to earn Holden's trust after the Colonel tried to kill Luke. When Luke was in hospital after that awful fishing trip, Holden did not keep his distrust of Noah hidden. Noah had to work very hard to gain his trust. He had grown to think of Mr. Snyder as a father to him as well and he lost any respect he had earned. The pain he felt from that was nothing compared to what he felt for hurting Luke, but it was close.

* * *

About two hours later Reid heard the hiss from the OR doors opening and he went to meet Bob. Bob looked tired and there were blood smears on the front of his scrubs shirt. Reid ignored everything else around him just waited for Bob to talk. Reid could hear and feel the rest of Luke's family stand round him to hear the news.

"Bob? How is he?" Lily finally was able to speak.

"Well, the glass did a lot of damage to his leg, but we were able to get all the glass out and repair what was damaged. He will need a _lot_ of physical therapy, but it looks like he's going to be fine," Reid felt the air deflate out of the entire assembled party. "He will be very sore from the fall for quite a while. He needs to take it easy."

"Can we see him?" Lily asked.

"He's in recovery right now, but I want the visitors to be kept small," Bob insisted.

"I think Mr. and Mrs. Snyder should go first," Reid said and then locked eyes with Noah. Bob agreed and escorted Lily and Holden towards Luke's room.

"I want to talk to you," Reid was able to get out in a quiet voice. Noah clenched his jaw and nodded. Reid opened the door to a private meeting room and let Noah enter. He followed behind him and closed the door.

"How long did you wait until you went after him? A day? A week?" Noah asked as soon as the door shut. He was done sugar-coating anything. He wanted some answers or at least an explanation.

"For your information Noah, Luke came to me."

"I don't believe you!"

"You really think Luke's an idiot? That he can be manipulated so easily. I heard that was more your speed."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about your professor. He had you jumping through hoops and then blaming Luke for the troubles you two had," Reid said as he crossed his arms. Noah had to take a deep breath to keep his anger in check. He wanted nothing more than to punch his bastard until he was unconscious, but that would not help Luke. He clenched his fists as he tried to quell the hate festering in his stomach.

"You know nothing about Luke or our relationship," Noah remarked through gritted teeth. He stepped around Reid and made for the door.

"I know that he tried to tell you that Mason was trying to break you two up, but no surprise, you didn't believe him. Chalked it up to jealousy and you let him down."

"What about you? You tell me to break up with him, and I do, and then you go after him. How are you any better?"

"No. I told you that I didn't want to see him around _**me**_. The first thing you think of is, break-up with him. Just goes to show that you never really loved him."

Noah grabbed Reid by his shirt and shoved him hard into wall. If he could have, he would have pushed straight through the wall. Reid felt the air rush out of lungs and the room spun for a moment. He quickly regained his composure and looked dead into Noah's eyes.

"Don't you dare say that to me!"

"Well, I guess you're more like your father than you thought," Reid remarked and Noah's grip instantly loosen. Reid was able to push Noah back and walk toward the door. As he stepped into the hall, he turned to the stunned brunette and had one more parting shot.

"You both managed to almost kill Luke."

He closed the door and left a shocked Noah alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, whatta think? You can tell me. I can take it.  
> Stay Tuned!  
> On the next episode of Time to Say Goodbye - Luke and Noah have a discussion that is long overdue.


	23. Finally

Noah stood outside Luke's room, staring through the small window. He looked so frail laying in that small bed. Noah just could not get his legs to carry him in. He watched a couple nurses making him comfortable and then they left. There were no excuses now. He took in one long breath and willed his hand to turn the knob.

The quiet in the room was unnerving. When Luke was around, nothing was quiet. It was like you could hear him thinking. He was always a bundle of energy. Just being around him made Noah happy. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe he didn't want to be around him when he was blind. He wanted to be miserable. He wanted to not be happy. He wanted to feel sorry of himself and Luke wouldn't let him. He just had to see the bright side of everything. God forbid he just let Noah wallow in pity.

Noah sat down in the chair next to his bed and folded his hands in his lap. Well, fidgeting and wringing his hands was more accurate.

Yeah, God forbid Luke want to take care of him. Or want him to be happy. Or love him no matter what.

Yeah, God forbid.

Noah had no idea how long he was sitting there before Dr. Hughes came in to check on Luke. Bob walked in and flipped open Luke's chart. He didn't say anything or make Noah leave, he just checked his vitals and made notes on his chart.

"How is he?" Noah asked when he was finally able to find his voice.

"Well, his blood pressure has stabilized and his breathing has leveled out. The pain meds are keeping him comfortable."

"Why hasn't he woken up?"

"We're keeping him sedated to help his body heal. Along with his other injuries, he sustained a pretty big blow to his head."

"What?" Noah question came out strangled and very quiet.

"He must have hit his head when fell. The blow left him with a severe concussion and a little bleeding. It was a good thing that Dr. Oliver kept him awake for as long as he did."

"How do you mean?"

"He kept him awake and conscious. It is much easier to diagnosis his injuries with him awake, no second guessing . Luke could have a lot more problems if he passed out. I'll let the nurses know that you're here."

"Thank you Dr. Hughes."

Noah slumped down even farther and looked at Luke as he slept. He looked so fragile. All Noah wanted to do was hold him in his arms and never let go. He settled with the next best thing. He pulled his chair closer and slipped his hand into Luke's. His hand was so calloused from years of farm work, but soft as well. Noah relished the feeling of it in his. It was so reassuring to be this close to him. It was almost as if he could fantasize that there was no Reid and Luke was going to wake up any minute and be happy to see him.

But deep down Noah knew that his odds were pretty long. He had pushed Luke away too many times. Every time things got too overwhelming or complicated, he bolted. He hated that Luke was here and he wished that he could take it all away.

"Luke, can you hear me?" Noah asked and looked at Luke's face; hoping that he would open his eyes and look at him with those gorgeous brown orbs. When Luke stayed asleep, Noah continued. "I wish I could say that right thing or something more original than I'm sorry, but that's all I have. I am so sorry that I hurt you. I hurt you so many times and so many different ways. I pushed you away when all you wanted to do was be there for me and help me. I was selfish and you have every right to hate me, but I love you. I love you more than I have ever loved anything. I have loved you since the **_second_** I saw you at WOAK. I still kick myself for the lame first impression I made. I was so lucky that you gave me a chance at all. God knows I didn't deserve it and I know I still don't. But I promise you Luke that I am going to make all of this up to you. All you have to do is wake up. Please wake up," Noah said as fresh tears fell down his cheeks. He leaned forward and brought Luke's hand to his lips. He softly brushed Luke's hand with a soft kiss. He smelled Luke's skin at his wrist and had a rush of memories that left him breathless.

Late night make-out sessions in the cab of his truck when he dropped Luke off at home before going back to the dorms.

Sitting on the couch in the parlor watching a movie; Luke nestled between his legs, his back to Noah's chest. Noah tried to explain to Luke once what the soft skin at the base of Luke's neck smelled like, but Luke just looked at him like he was crazy.

The sweaty mornings after doing chores during those amazing months when he lived at the farm. They never were able to get out of the barn after chores without playing in the hayloft.

The first time they made love. Touching Luke in all the places that he had fantasized and dreamt over for almost two years.

Waking up with Luke in their own apartment. They would set their alarms twice. One to wake them for a little fun time. And the second to remind them when they actually needed to get up.

Luke showed him that he was loved every breath of every day and Noah threw it all away. He wanted so badly to take back the nightmare that was the last three months. He would...he would give up his eyesight to know that Luke was going to be fine. It was true and even he was surprised that the thought came into his head. The main reason to get his sight back was to be able to see Luke and if he, if he dies, it was all for naught and Luke will never how much Noah loves him or how sorry he was.

Noah said small prayers over and over again; hoping that Luke would wake up and be all right.

Reid walked up to Luke's door and saw Noah sitting at his boyfriend's side; holding his hand. He had a rush of jealousy and anger flow through him. He wanted to wrench Noah away and sit by Luke's side, but that anger was one of the reasons that Luke was in that bed in the first place. He knew that Luke was grave, but he was a fighter. The guilt he felt for Luke current state was eating at his gut. He had been downing Tums all day and that pain was still sitting there.

The pain was still sitting there, holding Luke's hand.

Reid pushed open the door and Noah looked up at him. Reid could see the brunette's jaw clench and he swallowed hard. Reid pulled a chair from along the wall and sat down on the other side of Luke's bed. They locked eyes for a moment. Neither man was going to relent or leave. They each decided to remain quiet and be there for Luke.

* * *

Lily looked in on her son and saw both Reid and Noah there at his bedside. Luke was always so afraid that he would never find someone to love him and here he was with two men who literally fought over him. She felt someone walk up behind and stand next to her. She turned and saw Holden standing there. She felt a calm come over her and she gave him a little smile.

"Where is everyone?" Lily asked.

"Ethan is with mama and the girls are with Lucinda. They all left a few minutes ago," Holden asked as he tried to work some kinks out of his neck. Three days of sleeping sitting up was beginning to affect his old body.

"Is Jack still insisting on getting a statement from the boys?" Lily inquired.

"Yeah, but neither of them are talking. If Luke wakes up…,"

"When he wakes up," Lily cut him off and quickly corrected his sentence. He nodded in agreement and looked at his son and the two men sitting opposite each other at his bed..

"Did you know about Luke and Dr. Oliver?" Holden asked.

"No. With everything going on with Faith and Damian leaving, I just, I never asked if he was seeing anyone. You?"

"No. Since I've come back, Luke and I…we've been distant. We're not the same as we use to be. We use to be able to talk about everything. I haven't been a good father to Luke," Holden remarked and walked over to a set of chairs in the hallway and sat down. He dropped his head in hands and let out a long breath. Lily felt awful for her ex-husband. She walked over and sat down next to him.

"You are an incredible father to Luke. He would be the first to tell you that. He loves you more than anything. Don't beat yourself up over all this. We just need to be here for Luke," Lily slid her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder. Holden felt more relaxed than he had in months. He knew she was right, but deep down he had little nagging doubt that Luke was too far gone to get back to where they use to be. But he also was not going to dwell on that. He was going to concentrate on Luke and his recovery. There would be plenty of time for on their relationship.

As soon as Luke was out of the hospital.

* * *

Reid and Noah kept up their vigils for the next few days. Noah would leave to get cleaned up and eat. Reid would leave to do his rounds and tend to his patients. Neither one spoke to the other. They had a strange truce going and they didn't dare break it. Noah was sitting in Luke's room when Lily came in. She sat in Reid's vacate chair, he had left to do his rounds, and lightly held Luke's hand.

"Has there been any change?"

"No. I talk to him when I'm alone, but I'm not sure if he hears me."

"I'm sure he does. Has Dr. Oliver said anything to you?"

"No. We don't talk when we're in here together. I'm afraid I'll say something that I can't take back. Or, ah, do something."

"Noah?" Lily reached across Luke's sleeping body and put her hand on top of Noah's. "This wasn't your fault."

"How can you say that? If I hadn't been fighting with Oliver, none of this would have happened," he exclaimed as Lily saw his unshed tears finally fall down his cheeks.

"It was an accident. No one meant for any of this. Do you think that your accident was Luke's fault?"

"I did at first, but I just wanted to blame someone. I know now that it was no one's fault."

"See. I don't blame you, I know Luke won't blame you…,"

"Mr. Snyder blames me," he said in a small voice while not making eye contact. He sounded like a little boy.

"He was upset when he said that, I know he doesn't blame you. When Luke gets better, you'll see."

"I pray you're right."

* * *

Reid had just finished his rounds and was about to go back to Luke's room when Holden Snyder approached him.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course Mr. Snyder. Why don't we go in here?" He said as he gestured to an empty patient room across the hall. Reid let the older man enter and followed right behind. He closed the door to give them some privacy. "What did you want to talk to me about? Do you questions about Luke's condition?"

"What is your relationship with my son?" Holden asked; turning on dad mode full blast.

"Ah, well, he is my boyfriend. We've been seeing each other for about four months," Reid felt awkward and he crossed his arms to show as much.

"And you care about him?"

"I love him. More than I thought I could or would. I would do anything I could for him."

Holden could tell that Reid was being genuine and honest with him. He nodded as he extended his hand. Reid looked at him with a touch of trepidation, but then took the older man's hand. Holden shook it and smiled.

"Well, Dr. Oliver. I'm Holden Snyder, Luke's dad," Holden said, formally introducing himself. Reid couldn't help but laugh at the gesture. He would never understand this town.

"Nice to meet you sir. My name is Reid Oliver."

* * *

Luke felt like his mouth was full of cotton and his head was about two sizes too small for his brain. He arms felt heavy and his back was very stiff. He made a mental list of his body.

My name is Luke Snyder and I live in Oakdale, Illinois.

_Brain works? Check._

He slowly moved his toes and felt the blanket rub against the tips of his toes.

_Toes work? Check._

He moved his feet slowly, even though his calf muscles pulled slightly, they seemed ok.

_Feet work? Check._

He then moved his legs a bit, but he felt pain in right leg. Pain was good. Pain meant that there was feeling there.

_Legs work? Check._

He softly squeezed his stiff hands and felt something squeeze back.

_Hands work? Check, but who's holding my hand?_

"He just squeezed my hand!" Noah said.

"Mine too. Get a doctor!" Lily quickly, trying not to get too excited. Noah jumped to his feet and ran for the door. He entered the hall just as Holden and Reid were coming out of the room across the hall.

"Luke's waking up," he was finally able to get out. Reid and Holden dashed into the room and came to stand by Luke's bed. Reid took Luke's hand and felt for responsiveness.

"Luke! Can you hear me? If you can hear me, squeeze my hand," he said loudly to Luke and looked down at their joined hands for any kind of reaction. "Come on Mr. Snyder. Squeeze my hand, you can do it," he said and again looked down at his and Luke's hands. Calling him Mr. Snyder was sure to get a rise out of him. He was about to yell again when he felt Luke squeeze his hand back. He left out a relieved breath and dropped his head slightly. He reached for the phone next to the bed and paged Dr. Hughes.

* * *

Bob showed up a few minutes later with a nurse and escorted everyone out. He needed some time with his patient. Reid's pager then went off and broke the silence that was lingering in the hall. He pulled it from his waistband and looked at the display. He muttered a soft damn and turned to Lily and Holden.

"I have to check on patient. If you go in before I get back, can you tell Luke that I'll be back as soon as I can?"

Holden nodded yes and Reid disappeared down the hall. Noah swallowed as he saw a new level of easiness Oliver had with Luke's parents. But he wasn't going to dwell on that now. He just wanted to be sure that Luke was ok. Bob came out about a half-hour later and approached two nervous parents and a worried Noah Mayer.

"Bob how is he?" Holden asked.

"He seems to be all right. The medicine we weaned him off of is still in his system, but he will become more and more lucent as it wears off. He has feeling in all of his limbs and fingers. We'll have to see how the fall affected him mentally, but from the conversation we just had, he is very, very lucky."

"Can we see him?" Lily said quickly as she tried to keep her excitement under control.

"Just for a few minutes and then I have to insist that he be left alone for the night. He needs to get some rest," Bob said and then stepped aside to let his family in.

"Luke?" Lily asked in her soft mother voice. Her son stirred slightly and slowly opened his eyes. A small sort of smile stretched across his face. He looked more like a little boy than a man at that moment. Holden and Lily stood at his bedside while Noah stayed back a bit. He didn't want to interrupt their time with Luke. Plus he wasn't sure what he was going to say or what Luke would say to him.

"Hey mom. Hi dad," his voice was soft and very sleepy.

"Bob said that we have to leave you tonight, but we all will be in the morning. I promise," Holden said trying to reassure Luke.

"'kay," Luke replied almost playfully. Lily and Holden exchanged a look and laughed at how out of it he still was. But he knew who they were and he seemed to comprehend what Lily was saying. Lily brushed the hair off Luke's forehead and kissed him lightly. Holden squeezed Luke's hand and looked over his shoulder at Noah. The man was standing near the door and was barely making eye contact with him. Holden nodded in Luke's direction and put his hand on the small of his ex-wife's back. He directed her toward the door and stopped in front of Noah.

"We'll be in the hall. We can give you a lift home,"

"Thank you sir," Noah said after he was able to find his voice. Holden and Lily stepped into the hall and left Noah alone with Luke. He wiped his hands on his pants and took Luke's hand in his. Luke's hand was warmer than it had been and Noah wanted to hold on for dear life. Knowing that Luke was all right for now was enough. He would take the days that came after this. "Luke. I have to go, but I don't want to. But I also don't want to go up against Dr. Hughes. I'm going to come back tomorrow and I'll be here when you wake up. I love you Luke," Noah leaned forward and softly pressed a kiss to Luke's lips. He felt that familiar rush that he always got when he kissed Luke. It started at his lips and spread all down his body. Would he ever be able to get over that sensation of kissing Luke? The utter awe that came from being able to kiss the most beautiful man that Noah had ever seen? As Noah walked down the hall toward the elevator he had one thought…"God I hope not,"

* * *

The next morning, Lily looked into Luke's room to see him talking to Dr. Oliver. He was sitting on the edge of Luke's bed and they were holding hands. To say that Lily was a little surprised was an understatement. She has never seen Luke with anyone but Noah and this set her back a bit. But the smile that Luke was wearing and hearing his laughter was more than enough to convince her that her son was happy. Dr. Oliver stood up quickly when Lily entered the room.

"Hey mom," Luke said cheerfully.

"Good morning sweetheart."

"Oh, mom, this is Dr. Reid Oliver, my boyfriend," Luke said and Reid smiled. He couldn't hide it.

"It's nice to finally meet you, properly," Lily said as she extended her hand to the young doctor.

"Nice to meet you too," he smiled as he took her hand and shook it. "It's good that you came when you did Mrs. Snyder,"

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I think Luke's getting bored with me. I think it's your turn to babysit," Luke quickly hit his boyfriend in the ribs for his little jab. Lily just laughed. "Seriously, I have to do my rounds, but I'll check on you later," Reid gave Luke a quick kiss, he figured since everyone knew now he could kiss Luke in front of his mother, and ducked out into the hall.

"He seems nice. Not as bad as he was rumored to be,"

"Well, he was pretty awful at first, but I think he's mellowing out. I think I have had a positive effect on him," Luke playfully said as he brushed his nails on his chest.

"I'm sure that's what it is. Are you happy?" Lily asked really quickly in one breath. She knew that she would have to ask him quickly to get a real reaction out of him.

"Yes, mom. I am happy," Luke said and took his mom hand to really make his point. Luke started his next statement with a healthy laugh. "As weird as our relationship may seem from the outside, we fit,"

* * *

Noah stood in the hallway and looked in on Luke and his mom talking. He seemed ok. He was sitting up and he was laughing with his mom. He looked so relaxed and dare he say happy. He knew that he had to go into room eventually, but he was dreading it and excited for it all at the same time. They didn't get to actually talk after his bandages came off and then the awful fight that he knew he needed to apologize for and of course the accident. Noah took a breath and hoped that would quell his swirling stomach. He knocked on the door and waited for someone to call to him. He heard Luke say "Come in," and his heart dropped as he opened the door. He could do this.

"Hey Noah," Luke said cheerfully.

"Hi Luke, Mrs. Snyder," Noah answered softly. He was nervous and Luke could tell. He only addressed his parents by Mr. and Mrs. when he was nervous. He stood in the doorway for moment and then entered. Unconsciously, he wiped his hands on his pant legs and fiddled with his front pockets. He suddenly felt like he was 19 again and talking to Luke about what he was feeling. Any confidence he had was slowly melting away.

"Hi Noah, you know. I have to check on Faith. Why don't I leave you two alone?"

"Thanks mom," Luke whispers and she gives him a peck on the cheek.

"I'll come back later," she says to Luke as she slips out of the door, but not before she slipped her arms around his shoulders and gave Noah a hug. Noah is a bit taken aback by this gesture. It took him a few seconds before he wrapped his arms around her and reciprocated. Luke smiled at this scene. He loved that his family was still close to his ex. Noah never really had a family growing up, so Luke was fine with lending his to Noah. They loved him as much as Luke did.

Now the two men were alone.

"Are you going to stand all the way over there or are you going to come over here?" Luke asked in a playful tone. He felt like the wolf disguised as the Grandmother in "Little Red Riding Hood". He could see that Noah was little freaked out right now and he hoped that keeping it playful would help him to relax. Noah took this hint and sat down next to Luke. Noah was able to see what the fall had done. There was the obvious bandaging around Luke's right thigh. When Noah closed his eyes he could still see the blood spurting out. Luke had a bandage on the back of his head; he wasn't sure of it was from stitches or something worse. There was a bruising all up the back of Luke's arms; Noah assumed from when he landed on the ground. Not to mention at least three IV's hooked into him right now. Noah wanted but also didn't want to know what they were.

"Luke, I'm…," was all Noah could get out before tears started to well up. Luke knew what he was trying to say. He didn't even need to hear it.

"Hey, come here," Luke said softly and pulled at the nape of Noah's neck. Noah leaned forward and rested his cheek against Luke chest. Luke's left arm wrapped around Noah's shoulders and his right hand was buried in Noah's hair. Noah felt so protected as he wept. He couldn't actually say the words without getting worked up. He wanted so badly for all of this to be a tragic nightmare. He would wake up with Luke in their ugly little apartment and everything would make sense again.

"It's ok. I know, Noah," Luke said into Noah's ear. Noah pulled back and sat up; still making sure to be close to Luke. "I know. It's ok."

"No, it's not. I could have killed you. I am so sorry Luke." Noah pulled away and wiped the tears off his face.

"I know you are. There isn't a spiteful bone in your body. I know you didn't do it on purpose. How could you? You would never push me through a window on purpose. Are you kidding?" he said; trying to assure Noah. He slipped his hands into Noah and gave them a tight squeeze to prove it.

"If I hadn't been so angry and just let you talk."

"And if I hadn't gone to Damian maybe we wouldn't have been fighting on the roof. I have a ton of "what ifs" too Noah, but they don't change anything. They don't make what happened go away. I'm ok. I'm going to be ok."

"What did Dr. Hughes say?" Noah cleared his throat to push the tears away.

"Well, my back a bit messed up and I'll have a lot of physical therapy for my leg, but other that I'm pretty lucky."

"I don't understand how you can forgive me so easily," Noah said while wiping away the tears that just won't stop.

"There's nothing to forgive. It was an accident. I guess it's just easy for me to forgive you."

"Like me **_not_** forgiving you was easy right?"

"I didn't say that."

"But that's what you were thinking, wasn't it?" Noah was getting angry and his brain was screaming at himself to stop! **_KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT BEFORE YOU SCREW ALL OF THIS UP!_**

"I didn't say it to start a fight. And what are you mad at right now?" Luke asked and Noah glared slightly and stood up. "What are you angry at? At me for forgiving you or at me for moving on?"

"All right yeah, I'm still angry that you are dating Oliver."

"I moved on Noah, what did you expect me to do? Wait for you," the frustration and sadness in Luke's voice was very evident. They had been tip-toeing around this for months, they needed to do this.

"Breaking up with you wasn't easy for me! I just needed…," Noah tried to explain, but Luke stopped him.

"What? Do you even know? There is something I do know and maybe this is why I could forgive you and you couldn't forgive me. I have loved you unconditionally since day one, but I have never really known how you felt about me. That's what our relationship has been from the beginning."

"How can you say that?!"

"How _**can't**_ I? Noah, you have pushed me aside so many times and I took it because I loved you so much and I was willing to put up with anything. Remember when I asked you what I was to you? I asked you if I was just some guy or was I the love of your life. You said to me, 'How can I know that?' I knew _**then**_ that you were the love of _**my**_ life,"

"I do love you Luke. Why don't you believe me?"

"Not enough Noah. Not enough," Luke answered quietly. "It wasn't enough when Ameera was here. Not enough when you blamed me for your father. Wasn't enough through the Mason fiasco and it definitely wasn't enough when you got hurt. You didn't love me enough to forgive me and let me help you. You broke up with me instead."

"I only did that because your _**boyfriend**_ asked me to."

"No. Reid never said for you to break up with me. He wanted me to stay away from _**him**_ not _**you**_. He said nothing about us splitting up. _**That**_ , was your decision. And even he did, even if he asked you to leave me, you didn't fight it, did you? You didn't fight for us. You were willing to push me aside yet again. I understand you being angry with me, I do, but that was all you felt. You only saw the anger and the blame."

Noah was taking in everything that Luke said, but to tell him that he didn't love Luke enough was insane. He turned his entire life around for Luke. How could he possibly think that he didn't love him?

"I still love you and I probably always will, but I can't be with you. Not anymore," Luke finally said the words out loud.

"We can make this work."

"For how long? A few months, a year, until you feel like you have to leave again. It's what you do Noah. You leave. I need someone who will fight for me. Someone who wants to be with me no matter what."

"And you think that's Reid?"

"I don't know, but I'm willing to find out."

Noah couldn't hear this anymore. He could feel his heart tearing to shreds in his chest. He was witnessing his and Luke's relationship dying right in front of him. He didn't want to hear about Oliver and him together. He just couldn't take this. He got up and walked out of Luke's room. And Luke didn't ask him to stay. Luke watched his tall brunette walk out of his room and down the hall. His head fell back against the pillows and tears in his eyes bled out. His heart was aching. He didn't want to hurt Noah; it was never his intention, but he had to do it. As determined and stalwart as Noah appeared, he wasn't. He had left Luke for a dozen different reasons. Luke would admit that several times, he was to blame, but that did not make Noah's leaving any easier. He wanted to depend on Noah and know that he would always be there, but deep down, Luke knew that he wouldn't. He had to tell him those things. He had to protect his heart from Noah.

* * *

About an hour later, Reid poked his head inside the room and saw his boyfriend looking out the window. He knew that Noah had come to see Luke; it was only a matter of time. He quietly closed the door and walked over to Luke's bed. He sat down on the edge and looked at Luke. Luke turned his head toward Reid and he could see that Luke had been crying. He caressed Luke's cheek and wiped the tears away with his thumb. Luke leaned into his touch. His hands were so warm and comforting. Luke wanted to melt into them.

"You ok?"

"Yeah," Luke answered and Reid gave a "Sure you are" look. "I will be anyway."

Reid continued to lightly brush his thumb across Luke's cheek. Luke could feel himself getting drowsy. He was just letting Reid take care of him and that was a good feeling. Knowing that Reid wanted to be here was a lot right now. To think, four months ago, they hated each other. Luke had come to really care about the young doctor and Reid was definitely taken by Luke.

"I'll go with you," Luke said in a soft voice. His eyes were closed and Reid thought he had fallen asleep.

"What?" Reid asked him; Luke opened his eyes and locked onto Reid's.

"I'll go to Dallas with you."

"Really?" Reid was trying to keep his excitement down.

"I really care about you and I want to see where this is going to go."

The only response Reid had was to kiss his boyfriend. So he did, several times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK! Before you go running for hills, cursing my name, let me say one thing!  
> THE STORY IS NOT DONE YET!  
> Stay Tuned!  
> On the Next Episode of Time to Say Goodbye - Noah has a eye-opening conversation with Casey!


	24. Two Different Directions

Anger.

That was all Noah could feel as he stumbled up the stairs to his apartment. Well, anger and the healthy buzz he was feeling from the beers he downed at Yo's. As soon as he left the hospital, he found himself walking through Olde Towne and then he was at Yo's. The bartender took pity on him for a little while, but after he started to fight with a couple other patrons, he was quickly kicked out. That was two days ago and he went back each day. He would drink until his anger and/or his mouth got him kicked out. Then he would find himself at home where his drinking started each night and each night he was glad that Maddie had been spending so much time at Casey's. Noah kept replaying his last conversation with Luke over and over in his head.

How could Luke think that Noah didn't love him? How could he? After everything Noah had done.

He came out to his dad and turned his back on everything he knew. He gave up joining the army because Luke didn't want him to. Ok, even Noah knew that one wasn't right, but Luke didn't help him none. He stood against Luke's crazy cousin and had a scar to prove it. He shot a man that was threatening to hurt Luke; something that he swore he would never do. He even turned his dad into the police because Luke urged him to. What else was Noah suppose to do?

He slammed the door and threw his keys at the kitchen counter. They went wide and hit the wall instead.

"Dude! What's going on?" Noah heard behind him. He turned to see Casey coming out of the kitchen. He was holding his hands out in front of him; hoping not to get hit by anything else being thrown in his direction.

"What are you doing here?!" Noah spat out. He was really struggling to keep balance now; grabbing anything stable and sturdy.

"Whoa! What's your problem? Maddie is meeting me here and then we're having lunch," Casey answered in an equally angry voice. Noah was angry, that was plain to see, not to mention blitzed off his ass, but now he felt bad for yelling at his friend.

"I'm sorry," Noah got out as he swayed toward Casey. Casey grabbed him by the arms to keep him upright. Casey knew that smell. Noah was on a major bender.

"Let me guess, Luke?" Casey asked and the mention of Luke's name caused Noah to wretch himself away from Casey grip. Noah nodded in response while he struggled to get his coat off. "Is he the reason that there are about a dozen beer bottles in the kitchen trash?" Casey asked and Noah nodded again.

"So, you know about the doc?" Casey asked and Noah just glared at him.

"You knew?"

"I saw them at the Lakeview, but I didn't know it was Doc Oliver at the time. Maddie filled that one in for me," Casey said as he started to mirror Noah's movements around the living room. Casey knew what heavy drinking did to him and Noah was _thisclose_ to falling over.

"Maddie knew?! Is there anyone who _**didn't**_ know?" Noah took a step and nearly collapsed, but Casey grabbed him around the waist to keep him from falling through the coffee table. The two men were now chest to chest and Noah's body was getting limper and limper as they stood there. He could definitely smell cheap beer coming from Noah.

"Ok, I think it's about time for you to go to bed."

"You're not my type Casey," Noah laughed and accented his joke with a large burp in the blonde's face that made Casey's stomach seize and he pulled back slightly.

"Yeah, that's funny. Come on big boy," Casey said as he started to move toward Noah's bedroom door. The front door opened and Maddie walked into the apartment. She stopped in place when she saw Casey and her ex-boyfriend in each other's arms.

"Uh, Casey, should I be worried?" She teased and laughed at her boyfriend struggling with Noah.

"Everyone's a comedian today. Help me. Noah's about to pass out," Casey's statement jolted Maddie into movement. She quickly wrapped her arm around Noah's waist while Casey shifted to Noah's other side and they helped walk him to his bed. They flopped Noah onto his back and stepped back to look at their hurting friend. Soft snores were already coming out of him.

"Well, who's going to undress him?" Maddie asked; feeling very uncomfortable.

"Don't look at me!" Casey exclaimed and put his hands up.

"But you're a guy."

"Not a gay guy!" Casey justified.

"Ok, if you don't mind me undressing my ex-boyfriend," Maddie said and just let that statement float around in Casey's head for a moment.

"Go into the living room," Casey finally said through gritted teeth. Maddie smiled in triumph, turned on her heel and left the room, but not before she gave her current boyfriend a peck on the cheek. Maddie closed the door and sadness flooded through her. Her heart just bled for Noah. Luke had moved on and she wondered if Noah would be able to. She hoped so, before he destroyed himself. 

* * *

Luke was getting out today and he could not wait. He hated being trapped inside. He hated being cooped up. That was one huge drawback to his new job. He was inside all day, stuck in a suit and behind a desk. The farm boy in him wanted to be on horseback, galloping through the field with StarDancer. He had been off sedition for four days now. Three days since his conversation with Noah. He felt awful for what happened, but what else was he suppose to do? As much as he loved Noah, he just couldn't do it anymore. He knew that if they got back together, he would always be wondering when everything would fall apart. When they would fight and end up breaking it all off. Was he willing to jeopardize what he had with Reid for a maybe? For a relationship that he failed several times before? 

Luke was so lost in thought he didn't even hear his door open and someone enter. It wasn't until the person coughed that he finally looked up. Reid was standing at the foot of the bed holding a clipboard and had an adorable smile on his face. He was wearing his dark blue scrubs and grey under shirt. Luke so loved him in blue.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" Luke asked as a smile spread across his face.

"Well, I'm here to discharge you," he said and then gestured with Luke's chart.

"I thought Bob was doing that."

"I asked and he even insisted."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think he's relieved to see that I have a heart after all," Reid said as he walked around the bed and sat next to Luke, facing him.

"So am I," Luke said with a wink and leaned in to kiss his boyfriend. As his lips met Reid's, Reid lightly caressed Luke's cheek as Luke buried his right hand in the hair at the nape of Reid's neck. Luke's other hand took a longer route. He slowly ran his fingers up Reid's arm and over his shoulder to meet his other at the nape of Reid neck. He clasped his fingers together, pulling Reid closer. Reid nibbled at Luke's bottom lip; eliciting a moan out of the blonde. Luke licked across Reid's tongue and tasted his caramel latte. Luke couldn't stop himself from smiling into the kiss. A knock at the door quickly separated the two men and Reid stood slowly; holding his clipboard low to cover his growing excitement. Luke saw Reid's discomfort and tried to hold back the giggle that wanted to escape; biting his lower to keep the laugh inside. He was suddenly grateful that he was sitting and covered in blankets. Luke lightly brushed Reid's hand and called out.

"Come in."

Lily came in and smiled when she saw her son was up and smiling himself.

"Hey mom."

"Good morning Mrs. Snyder," Reid chimed in, trying not to sound like he was forcing it.

"Hi Luke. Good morning Dr. Oliver. How is he today?" She asked as he set her jacket down and purse down.

"Good, he's being released today."

"Great! I have your room made up at home," she said and she was barely able to control her excitement.

"Ah mom. I…,"

"I'll go get the paperwork and be back in a few," Reid said. He could tell that this was the kind of conversation that Luke should handle on his own.

"Thanks," Luke said and Reid left them alone.

"Your sister and brother will be so excited about you getting out," Lily said and then sat down at the foot of the bed.

"Mom, I'm going to be staying at my place."

"Who's going to take care of you?"

"I'm not completely helpless. Plus Reid will be there."

"Who will drive you to therapy?"

"What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" Lily asked as she smoothed out Luke's blankets.

"Why are you trying to baby me? Are you ok?"

"Of course," she said waving her hand to distract Luke's eyes away from her face.

"Mom?"

"I just want you close, after everything's that's happened since before Thanksgiving," Lily couldn't look at Luke right now. She just may start crying. She was talking about everything from his dad's "death", her marriage to Damian, Noah's accident, Damian's deceptions, Noah and him breaking up, problems with Faith, his dad dating Molly; was it any wonder that she wanted a little bit of normal?

"Mom, I'm not going to be living in Oakdale forever," if Luke could have he would have kicked his own ass right now, he would have. _Why did you have to go and open your big mouth?_ Luke visibly winced at his own words or maybe it was his stupidity; at this moment he wasn't sure.

"What does that mean?" Lily gaze shot back up to Luke's. She was sure that she didn't want to hear what was coming next.

"I didn't want to do this now," Luke said as he tried to formulate the rest of his sentence without hurting his mother anymore then he knew he was about to. "Reid has asked me to move to Dallas with him."

"What?"

"I was a little surprised too. But I told him yes."

"Luke! You barely know him!"

"Mom, we've been dating for five months now. We are practically living together already."

"But your family is here."

"Mom. I need to start over somewhere else. After everything that happened with the election and Damian and Noah, I need a fresh start. This is a good thing."

"What am I going to do without you?" Her tone wasn't sad, but resigned. If she knew her oldest at all, she knew that when he was set on doing something that was it. She thought back to when he was ten and wanted to ride Holden's horse, Magic. The horse fought him the entire time, but he did not give up until he broke down her walls and gained her trust. Lily was furious when she found out and saw the bruises all over his back and legs. There was no changing his mind. "So. Is this Dr. Reid good to you?" She asked as she tried to push her tears away. Luke slipped his hand into hers and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

"Yes mom. He's great to me and I really care about him."

"Well, that's the right answer. When are you doing all of this? When are you deserting me?" She asked with a playful smirk.

"Not sure, but I promise to get you all right with it first."

"I do know one thing."

"What?"

"You get to break the news to your grandmother."

"Oh god," Luke said as the realization of how difficult that was going to be fell over him.

"Exactly," Lily responded and had to admit that the look on his face made her feel a little better.

* * *

Noah rolled over in his bed and felt like he had swept the floor of Yo's with tongue and then gargled with sand. When he sat up the throbbing in his head made him dropped back onto his pillows. The groan that came out made it even worse. He had to remember to turn the volume on his voice down for a little while. He opened his eyes, one at a time, painstakingly slow. The sun was out and right now he hated that. It was so bright and bright. He eased his feet to the floor and his body straightened up. He felt his head throb and his stomach swirl. He was _not_ going to throw-up. He slowly walked toward the kitchen and found Casey standing in there.

"Morning Sunshine! How did you sleep?"

"Shhhhh. Fine, I guess. What time is it?" Noah asked as he slowly eased himself into one of the two chairs that sat at the kitchen table.

"Almost two," Casey said as he extended a hot cup of coffee toward Noah. Noah grabbed it like it was life-preserver and he was drowning. Casey sat in the other chair and looked at his friend as he took baby sips of his coffee. "Are we going to talk about what happened yesterday?" Casey asked and Noah gave him a hateful look.

"Talk about what? Luke's seeing someone else," he answered in frustration, anger and more importantly defeat. "How could he do this? To us?"

"I beg to differ, you broke up with him."

"I didn't start seeing anyone else. It was so easy for him to move on I guess," Casey didn't like the venom in Noah's voice. Luke was Casey's best friend and he may not like how things turned out, but he would be damned if he was going to let Noah talk about him like that.

"Whoa! You wait a minute! Do you think that any of this was easy for Luke?" Casey screeched his chair across the cheap linoleum as he moved closer to Noah; Noah winced as the sound burned into his already hurting brain. "Remember when he disappeared for two days and no one knew where he was?" Noah nodded to answer him. He was terrified that Damian had kidnapped Luke on his way out of town, but was so relieved to find out that Lucinda knew where he was. Seeing that Noah was listening, Casey continued. "I found him. I found him before he cracked open a gallon sized bottle of whiskey. After months of spiteful remarks and cold shoulders, I stopped him before he drowned himself in a 15 year old whiskey. He never turned his back on you until you turned yours. What was he suppose to do? Wait for you again?"

"I'm not going to have you yelling at me too," Noah went to get up but felt Casey grip his arm and pull him back into his chair. Noah resigned himself to hear how all of this was his fault again. He sat back and waited for Casey to continue.

"How long did it take for you to move in with Luke? Six months?" Casey asked. Noah shrugged, still waiting for Casey to get to his point. "Right. And you moved in with Maddie after what? A ten minute conversation? How do you think Luke took that?"

"I'm gay! Nothing is ever going to happen between Maddie and me."

"For once, I'm not talking about sex and her being my girlfriend, I am glad for that. I mean level of importance. Luke had to **convince** you to move in with him and with Maddie…nothing. Wouldn't you be mad? What if Luke moved in with Kevin?"

"That is completely different," Noah responded in annoyance, this conversation was pointless.

"How? You _**were**_ in love with Maddie and Luke **_was_** in love with Kevin. I saw your face whenever Luke brought him up. You were jealous even though you knew that nothing would ever happen. Deep down Luke knew that nothing would ever happen with Maddie, but he was still jealous. You would rather live with an ex-girlfriend than with the man you claim to love," Casey's voice was getting louder.

"Don't! Don't you dare question my feelings for Luke!" He was so tired of everyone doing that.

"All I'm saying is that you moving out and then in with Maddie was a rejection of everything that Luke is. He is loyal, protective, caring, selfless, and he loves you. You walking away from him; is a rejection _of_ Luke,"

"I wasn't rejecting him. I just needed to do this for myself."

"I know. But the way Luke saw it; you turned your back on him. For Maddie. Like she was a better alternative than living with Luke. That wanted to be as far away from Luke as you could. It might not be what you meant, but he gave up on you, because he thought you gave up on him. Is it any wonder that he moved on?" Noah digested what Casey said. Casey lightly nudged Noah as he got up, grabbed his coat, and left. Noah turned his cup in his grip and looked at the dark liquid swirl in the cup. The color reminded him of Luke's eyes whenever he pulled away from a kiss. Noah dropped his head into his folded arms onto the table.

_Have I screwed this up or what? I am a complete and utter idiot!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, whatta think! Noah is really throwing himself a pity party.  
> Stay Tuned!  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Luke prepares for his move to Dallas.


	25. Broken Communication

Noah was nursing yet another hangover when he walked into the exam room for his post-op exam. He was supposed to see Dr. Oliver for this, one last time. It had been nearly two weeks since his surgery. He was visiting different bars during the day and at home at night. He kept replaying all the things that he and Casey talked about. How he had abandoned Luke. Noah still thought that was pure crap. If Luke had trusted their relationship in the first place…

Noah's train of thought was cut off by the door opening. He turned around and saw Dr. Oliver walk in.

"Good morning, Mr. Mayer."

"Ok. Sure. Dr. Oliver." Noah couldn't help but throw snark at Oliver.

"How are you feeling?" Reid asked without looking up; he was looking at the notes that the nurses made. Bob had insisted that he take over Noah's case from Reid, but he would not hear of it. He told Bob that he was a professional but more importantly he was not a quitter and he would see Noah for their last appointment. He did swear that they would not get into any kinds of fights; verbal or physical. Which was probably why the scheduling nurse put them in a room with no windows and security seemed to be making more sweeps than normal today.

"Fine. Considering," Noah said; dealing a passive aggressive dig, which Reid just ignored.

"Are you having any vision problems? Or any other side-effects?" Reid asked and then finally looked up from the chart that had been his main focus since he entered.

"Mild headaches, other than that nothing," Noah sat down on the exam table and waited for Oliver to start. Reid took out his pen light and flashed it into Noah's eyes, once, twice.

"Your pupils are reacting fine," Reid stepped closer to Noah and took another instrument, but this meant he needed to stand a lot closer to Noah now. Reid swallowed once, but Noah didn't notice, and stepped closer to him. He leaned down slightly and looked through the small scope and aimed a light into Noah left eye. They were a mere six inches from each other. He was so close that Noah could smell his aftershave.

It was the same aftershave that Luke wore.

Noah used to love that smell. He remembered the times when he would pick up Luke's clothes while cleaning the apartment and he couldn't help himself. He would bring them to his nose and breathe in Luke's scent. The deep woodsy, but clean smell with a hint of vanilla; he used to love that smell.

Now that smell was making him sick to his stomach.

Noah's jaw clenched as he tried to keep his anger down. He was angry and thought deservedly so. This guy stole his boyfriend away. He manipulated both of them to his own means and took Luke away. Everything was fine until he came to Oakdale. Noah would forever rue the day that Reid Oliver came into his life. He stopped at nothing to take Luke away. He convinced him to break-up with him, talked him into not calling Luke for support, and then started screwing him behind his back.

As Oliver moved the light around in his patient's eye, Noah started to think. He started to think about everything that had happened in the last few weeks. All the conversations he had with Luke and Casey and Maddie and Oliver. They all came rushing back.

Oliver never said that he should break up with Luke; he just didn't want Luke around. He did tell Noah to call Luke when his bandages came off. He had broken up with Luke. He made no claim to him after their conversation in the hallway at Memorial over five months ago now. Oliver did save Luke's life, for that Noah would be eternally grateful. Noah knew that Luke may start seeing someone else, but deep down he didn't think he would. He prayed that he wouldn't. He wanted to hate him, but he found that he just couldn't.

"Ok, Mr. Mayer, from what I can tell, and I'm brilliant, your eyes are near perfect. I would continue to get eye exams every other year. Due to the damage that I repaired, your vision may begin to degrade, but I think corrective lenses will be enough to help with that. Do you have any more questions for me?" Reid asked while he looked down at Noah chart, finishing up some notes. Noah swallowed and asked him a question that wanted to the answer to; almost as much as he didn't want to know.

"Do you love him?"

Reid was rarely surprised. He prided himself on that fact. That he had seen it all and he could handle anything, but he was not prepared for that question. He took a moment to collect himself before he looked up that the young man sitting in front of him.

"Yes, I do," he stated in a very matter of fact tone. Reid could see Noah swallow hard and then nod slightly. Reid turned, opened the door, and stepped into the hall. Before he left, he turned back to face Noah and said one more thing, "Call him. He misses you," Reid closed the door and left a deflated Noah in the exam room.

* * *

Luke dialed his number again. It rang four times before the voicemail picked up.

_"Hey, this is Noah, leave a message and I'll get back to you,"_

"Noah, its Luke. _Again._ I was just wondering how your appointment went. Give me a call, bye," Luke slid his phone closed and tossed it onto the coffee table. He was surrounded by a dozen boxes, all in different stages of fill-ment. He had managed to get his books into six boxes that each weighed a ton. All of his clothes were divided into four boxes; giveaway, throwaway, set for Dallas, and belongs to Noah. Each time he found a "Noah" shirt he had to fight the urge to smell it. He was pretty proud of the progress he had made in a four days without the use of one leg. The calluses on his hands from his crutches were something else entirely, but he refused to use the wheelchair. It was sitting in the corner of his living room; taunting him. He knew that it would be easier for him to move around in it, but he just could not manage to even sit in it.

When Reid brought it home, Luke freaked out. He screamed at him to get it out of his house. He never wanted to be near one of them again. Reid was appalled by Luke's aversion to something that would help him. Luke actually broke down he was so upset about it. Reid held him in his bed while he told him about the months he was in one and how alienated and lost he felt in it. He told him about how hard he fought to get out of it and that he never wanted to be there again. Reid told him that he would leave it in the living room, but out of view, just in case Luke needed it. Luke got cold chills every time he looked at it.

Luke was busy sorting when Reid came in after his shift. He was carrying bags from Al's and Luke smiled when he walked in. Reid stopped mid-stride and just looked at Luke. He was sitting on the couch with his leg propped up on the coffee table. His hair was bit messed, his shirt was about one size too small and he hadn't shaved. He was gorgeous.

"What?" Luke asked and looked down at himself; did he have something on face or shirt? Reid walked through the maze of boxes and crotched down so he was eye level with his sitting boyfriend.

"Nothing. I _**still**_ can't get over how you smile at me when I get home," Reid said sincerely. He leaned forward slightly and softly kissed his boyfriend. Luke smiled into the kiss and caressed his cheek. Reid sat down on the couch, next to Luke and opened the take-out bags.

"How was your day?" Luke had a mouth of double cheeseburger, but Reid was still able to understand him.

"Regular day. The nurses are mildly competent and the interns should be chased down Main Street by rabid dogs."

"No complaints about Bob or Chris, must have been a good day," Luke said with a wink and playfully nudged his boyfriend. Reid laughed and waited for Luke to ask.

"Are you going to ask?"

"Ask what?" Luke glanced at Reid and saw how serious he was being right now. Luke leaned back slightly and waited for him to answer. Reid wiped his hands clean and turned to face Luke.

"Are you going to ask about Noah?"

"I thought we weren't going to talk about him while he was your patient?"

"He's not my patient anymore. Today was our last appointment," Luke took that in and felt it float around in his head. He wanted to ask him, but that made things awkward. He never wanted his affection for Noah to come between him and Reid. He still loved Noah, both of them knew it. Reid thought it went much deeper than Luke let on. Luke assured him that they were together and nothing would change that.

While Reid was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Look at me," Luke slid his hands into Reid's. "I am with you. I am moving to Dallas with you. I still care about Noah, that's true, but I am not going to leave you to be with Noah,"

"Don't do me any favors."

"What does that mean?" Luke didn't try to hide his shock at Reid's remark.

"It means that you are incredibly loyal. I don't want you to stay with me out some sense of honor."

"I'm not! I want to be with you. As frustrating as you are, I want you! I chose you, remember?"

Reid felt some of the anxiety he was feeling break apart a bit, but it was still there. It was goes to live in his heart until the moment that they touch down in Dallas in three days. Reid nodded and let out a long breath.

"Now, let's finish eating and then you have to give me my sponge bath," Luke said and then playfully arched his eyebrows. Reid laughed despite himself.

_Luke Snyder would be the death of him._

* * *

Noah looked down at his cell and saw another call from Luke. He wanted to answer, but he couldn't. He didn't want to hear how he and Reid were happy. He didn't want to fake pleasantries with Luke. He didn't want to fake anything with Luke. He wanted to say what he wanted to say when he wanted to say it. He learned a long time ago with Luke to not hide what he was feeling and as of late, hiding was all he was doing. He told Luke that he wanted independence and on some level he did, but that wasn't the whole truth. He wanted to break up with Luke because it was inevitable that Luke would leave him first. He hoped that if they were apart when Luke finally woke up and walked away, it wouldn't be as painful.

But Noah was so wrong.

This was more painful than anything that he had ever experienced in his life. He was hurting, that was obvious, but whenever he thought about Luke, Oliver came right with it. When he thought about the two of them, the anger bubbled to the surface. He could see them together; doing all the things that he and Luke use to do.

Making out in Luke's car after a night out.

Watching movies while cuddling on the couch; this always escalated into not watching the movie at all.

Making love to Luke.

Walking up with Luke.

Noah was picturing all of these things, but he wasn't the other man in those dreams anymore; it was Reid Oliver. Noah still hated the man that took away everything he ever needed.

That was why he wasn't returning Luke's phone calls. He didn't want to be reminded of what he lost. What he let slip through his fingers.

* * *

"Did you get a hold of him?" Reid asked as he loaded the last of their bags into the cab. Luke was sitting in the back of the mini-van, talking to Reid over the back seat.

"I tried a couple times yesterday and this morning and for the past few weeks. He hates me. I know that now, but I at least wanted to say goodbye," Reid could hear Luke's voice hitch when he spoke. His heart broke to hear Luke so sad. He closed the back hatch and walked around to side of the vehicle. He slid into the bench seat with Luke and entwined their fingers together.

"I told him to call after our last appointment. I'm sorry he didn't call you back," Reid said as he lightly brushed the hair off Luke's face. "He doesn't hate you. He loves you. That's why he won't answer," Reid hand held to Luke soft face; his thumb pressing against his cheek. He could feel Luke's jaw quiver. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. I'm just glad that we had the whole going away thing last night. My mom would have been a total wreck right now."

"I can only handle one wreck at a time," Reid quipped with a sly glance.

"Shut up!" Luke smacked Reid in the arm and laughed through the tears that wanted to come. Reid singled for the driver to go and they were off towards their new life.

* * *

Maddie was pouring coffee when Noah came paddling out of his room. At Maddie's count, Noah had been sober for nearly two whole days. It wasn't much, but considering his diet had consisted of booze, stale bar snacks and Advil for nearly two weeks, it was a start.

"Good morning."

"Morning," Noah replied.

"Sorry we didn't see you at the Snyder's last night. It was a pretty big gathering," she said and she was baiting Noah to answer her.

"Yeah, I didn't want to see anyone. Especially," Noah censored himself before he said the name out loud.

"Luke?" Maddie finished. He put the carafe back on the burner and joined his roommate at the kitchen table. Maddie had pulled her feet to her chest and watched as Noah lightly sipped his coffee.

"Maddie leave it."

"I'm just pissed ok!"

"Who doesn't hate Oliver? Raise your hand."

"I'm not mad at Dr. Oliver. I'm pissed at you!"

"Me? What did I do?" Noah asked incredulously. Maddie was up on her feet; she could feel her anger rise up into her chest. She was pacing the small kitchen trying to find the right words.

"Well, how about we start at the beginning. You break up with Luke and have the nerve to be angry with him for moving on. You get into shouting matches with everyone you know. You avoid phone calls from your friends. You start drinking non-stop and you didn't even show up for Luke's going away party!"

"Wait, Stop. What?"

"Yeah, I talked to Luke last night. He had been trying to get in touch with you for weeks. You didn't answer any of his phone calls. He was trying to tell you that he was leaving."

Noah stood up quickly; knocking his chair to the floor. He went straight into his bedroom and grabbed his phone off the dresser. He powered it up and waited for it to respond to him. He dialed his voicemail number and heard the computer voice tell him he had 15 new messages. The oldest played first. Noah collapsed onto his bed as he heard Luke's voice play into his ear.

" _Hey Noah, its Luke. Look I'm sorry for how things turned out. I really would like to talk to you. Give me a call. Bye."_

" _I hope you're feeling ok. I was wondering if you wanted to go to the park or to Java. I hate being all cooped up. Give me a call."_

" _I hope you're getting these. It's not like you to not call back. Call me. This is Luke by the way."_

" _Noah, I really wish you would just listen to me."_

" _Hey Noah. It's really important that I talk to you. There are some things I want to say."_

" _That Bergman film that you always talked about is playing at the second run theater on Washington. If you want to go, let me know. Bye."_

The next call was just breathing and frustrated sigh. Even though he had no way to prove it, Noah knew it was Luke calling him.

" _Noah, call me back please."_

" _OK, I understand that you hate me right now. I do, but to not even acknowledge that I am reaching out to you,"_ a shuddering sigh followed and the message switched to the next.

" _Hey, it's me. Your stalker. We used to be able to talk about everything. You can talk to me."_

" _Noah, I have something that I really want to talk to you about. Call me. Please."_

" _This is Luke. My mom is throwing a party at the farm. She wanted to make sure that you knew about it and I told I would tell you. It's on Thursday next week. You can call my mom to RSVP if you want."_

" _Noah, its Luke. Again. I was just wondering how your appointment went. Give me a call, bye."_

" _Noah. I wanted to tell you all of this face to face, but you won't return my calls. So here goes. I'm leaving Oakdale. I'm moving to Dallas with Reid. I hate telling you this over the phone, but what other choice did I have. I would really like to see you to say goodbye properly."_

" _Well, this is it. My leaving today and I wanted to say that I don't hate you. Not for a second or for anything. I know that our relationship sort of crumbled before we realized it, but you will always be so special to me. I was so lucky to have found you and I wish you nothing, but amazing things in your future. So, thanks for everything. I'll miss you and I hope that someday we can really be friends. If you're ever in Dallas, look me up. I won't turn my back on you. Bye Noah."_

Noah's heart felt like it had exploded. Luke had been reaching out to him for weeks and he had done nothing. He had completely let Luke down, again. He felt his stomach twist and his hands were shaking. But he suddenly knew what he had to do.

Maddie heard thumps and doors shutting coming from Noah's room. She watched him run into his room about thirty minutes ago and was a little worried. Noah wouldn't do anything stupid, but she was afraid that he would do something on impulse. She got up and crossed the small living room that separated the kitchen from the bedrooms and was about to knock on Noah's door, when it flew open. He barreled past her, went to the closet by the front door, and came out with his shoes.

"Noah what are you doing?"

"I'm going to the airport. I have to stop Luke."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, how'd I do? Hit review and let me know!  
> Thanks for spending some time with little version of ATWT!  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Noah makes a mad dash to the airport!


	26. The Terminal

The taxi carrying Luke and Reid pulled up in front of the Walsh Municipal Airport about five miles outside of Oakdale. The van parked in front of the main terminal and Luke slid to the edge of the door. He looked up and saw the airport manager pushing a wheelchair out in front of her.

"NO! No Way!" Luke yelled and Reid came around from the back of the van. He saw the anger and fear on Luke's face and then the wheelchair. His shoulders dropped and leaned in to talk to his boyfriend. The airport manager stepped back in horror as she saw the fear on the young man's face.

"Luke, baby, listen to me," he said softly. He could see Luke was getting overly upset and he didn't want him to have a panic attack. "It is just while we are in the terminal. You'll be much more comfortable this way. Are you listening to me?" Luke's eyes locked with Reid and saw the calming influence of those deep blue eyes. Luke's breaths were coming out fast and deep.

"I am not sitting in that thing!"

"Luke, it's for your own good," Reid was trying to reason with his slightly crazed blonde. He was starting to get worked up and he was going to start hyperventilating.

"It is not coming on the plane with us!" Luke insisted.

"I promise. I will carry you on the plane myself," Reid arched his eyebrows in a playful tease of Luke. Luke was physically calming down now. His grip on the bench's armrest was loosening and his breathing was slowing. Reid waved for the chair to be brought closer. Reid grasped Luke around the waist and helped him on the pavement. Luke eased himself down onto his good leg and pivoted into the chair. He felt his heart rise up into his throat as he leaned into the cold vinyl back. He didn't let out the breath he was holding until Reid lightly kissed his cheek. Luke looked up over his right shoulder and saw his redheaded doctor looking down at him. Reid kissed the top of Luke's head as he drove them into the lobby of the small airport. There was a desk just inside the room and a pair of automatic doors that led into the main airport. The airport was really just a refueling port and housed a few private aircraft, but even they needed some kind of security.

"Good morning Mr. Snyder. Dr. Oliver," the airport agent said with a large smile. Luke smiled as he saw Mercy behind the counter. She had been working at this little airport for nearly 15 years and never missed a day of work. She was here for all of his flights and he had to smile at her sunny disposition; real or fake. Reid remembered meeting this woman when he came to Oakdale and was shocked to see that she was as perky now as she was when he arrived nearly six months ago. "Your pilot is doing his routine checks and your plane should be ready in about twenty minutes. Your bags are being loaded right now and you can proceed through the checkpoint. Oh, if you could turn off your cell phones. We are upgrading our radar equipment this week and cell phones interfere with the testing," both men nodded and then pulled their cells out to power them down. "Have a nice flight gentlemen,"

"Thank you Mercy," Luke responded in a cheery tone while Reid pushed them through the checkpoint. The doors hissed shut behind them and Reid glided Luke over to a small bank of chairs. Reid sat next to Luke in the hideous orange chairs and marveled at how provincial the place was. It was really an airport in name only. There was a bank of vending machines along one wall next to small newsstand. The main part of the airport was a room roughly the size of Al's with windows on three sides that gave them a good view of the late spring morning and the planes sitting on the tarmac.

"So, tell me about Dallas."

"What do you want to know?"

"I don't know. Your favorite coffee shop?"

"Well, there is a coffee shop in the lobby of my, excuse me, our building. Every Thursday they make cinnamon roll coffee that makes the entire lobby smell amazing. I usually grab coffee there on the way to work."

"Favorite place to eat?"

"There is a great Tex-Mex place about a block from the hospital. I usually eat there at least three times a week."

"Can I ask you something?" Luke asked as he linked his hands into Reid's.

"Of course," he answered as he looked down at their hands.

"Are most of your favorite places in Dallas either near home or the hospital?" Luke asked and hoped his question didn't push to far. Reid sat back as he let the question float in the air for a minute. Of course not, was his first response, but as he thought about it. Luke did have a point. Before he came to Oakdale he had not been in a relationship in nearly seven years. There were one-night stands and flings here and there, but nothing he'd call a relationship. He hadn't met anyone that he wanted to have a relationship with; that was until Luke. After his last relationship ended, he poured himself into his work; barely having time for anything else besides the occasional one-night-stand. All that time he spent working meant that he was sacrificing himself. The warm, caring side that Luke, all of his annoying glory, managed to revive. He was suddenly glad that he had so few places to call his own in Dallas.

"Now that you mention it, yeah."

"No friends, no fun, no life. You, Dr. Oliver, are a sad , sad man," Luke said in a deep cartoonish voice.

"Yeah, well. I used to be. But that just means that _**we**_ can discover a new favorite restaurant, coffee place, or porn shop, or whatever you want, together," he was doing that cute thing again. Where he's being mushy and dirty at the same time; Luke loved it when he did that. Luke leaned forward and captured Reid's mouth with his. Reid hummed into his kiss and slid his hand into Luke's hair at the nape of his neck. Luke caressed Reid cheek and they could feel the other getting warmer.

* * *

Noah dragged Maddie to her car and they sped toward the airport. Noah was not cleared to drive and would not be for at least another six months. He hated that he had to bring someone with him to stop Luke, but he was in such a rushed panic that he might accidently wrap his car around a telephone pole if he didn't let someone calmer drive.

"Maddie, you have to hurry. He left the last message almost an hour ago!"

"Noah, I will get you there, but you have to calm down. Do you even now what you plan on saying to him?" Maddie asked as she drove straight through a red light. Noah gripped the dash and passenger door in a death hold; closing his eyes to block out the oncoming accident. When he realized that none was coming he opened his eyes. She was still driving like a maniac. He was suddenly glad that his far distance vision was still fuzzy. He didn't have to see the cars until they were right on top of them.

"Tell him that I love him."

"Well, that's all fine and good, but after everything that's happened shouldn't you elaborate a bit more. Did you try his cell?"

"Yeah, I did twice, it goes straight to voicemail. As for what I plan on saying, I don't know Maddie. I'll think about it when I'm in the moment,"

"No offense Noah, but you don't think well on your feet. Run some of it past me," Maddie then pulled hard on the wheel and they went sailing down Old Pine Road. They were only about ten minutes from the airport now.

"Tell him that I love him. That I have been careless with him and that I want to make all of this up to him. That I cannot and do not want to imagine my life without him in it. I'm, ah, I'm going to tell him that I should never have blamed him for the accident. Because it was an accident, it was no one's fault. It was _**my**_ fault that he was hurt over and over again. He deserves someone much better than me, but he will never find someone who loves him as much I do and will always," Noah looked over at his friend and saw a tear trail down her cheek.

"Yeah, I think that might work."

* * *

"I'm going to go see if there are any current magazines in the fossil of a newsstand. Did you want anything?"

"Just some coffee and a candy bar,"

"If what they have here can be considered coffee. What kind candy?" He inquired as he stood up.

"I'm not picky, anything with peanut butter," Reid nodded and gave Luke a quick peck before he walked across the room. Luke loved to watch that man walk. He almost moved like a cat when he walked. He was very aware that he was beautiful and unbelievably sexy. He carried his body that way. Luke had a sudden flash of one of their first mornings together and he saw Reid walk from his bathroom to the bedroom for clean clothes. He was naked as the day he was born. Luke was lying on Reid's bed and just watched him move. He didn't say anything, he didn't need to. Reid knew the entire time that Luke was awake and was watching him. He dragged out his hunt for underwear a little longer than he needed to. The man was sex on legs.

As confident and obnoxious as Reid was, he was also the most caring and giving person he had ever met. Luke just had to get past that crusty outer layer and shed a little light on the real Reid Oliver. Luke knew that Reid took forever when he was trying to make up his mind, well on something as trivial as a magazine he took his time. On the important things, Reid always knew what he wanted and Luke found that so comforting. Luke reached into his messenger bag and pulled out his iPod. Tucking the little white ear buds into his ears and hit play, he let Florence + the Machine flow over him.

* * *

Maddie's car came to a sudden stop as they entered the parking lot just outside the airport. Noah jumped from the car and ran toward the small airport terminal. The double doors swung open as Noah plunged through them. He came to a stop at the counter and was greeted by a middle aged brunette woman with deep set smile wrinkles.

"Good morning, may I help you?" Mercy asked the frantic man in front of her.

"Yeah, did a Luke Snyder already check in?"

"Sir, I am not allowed to give out that information."

"You don't understand. I really need to talk to him."

"Sir, unless you are flying out of this airport today, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Mercy said and then hit the button under her counter. Security was on its way.

"Is he here or not?" Noah was done being polite about this. He had one last chance to talk to Luke before he left and this woman was not going to get in his way. He walked toward the double doors that separated the lobby from the rest of the terminal. He could see Luke on the opposite side of the terminal. He was sitting in a wheelchair and he was looking out toward the tarmac. The rising sun was streaming through the room. The light was shining through Luke's blonde hair and his skin was glowing.

Maddie came in as soon as she saw the white security truck pull up out front and a huge bald guy with a blonde beard get out. _Noah what did you do now?_ She thought to herself. She ran in and saw the security guy step between the doors and Noah. Noah banged on the doors twice before he was pulled back by a security guard. He was given a polite push back, but he just could not leave.

"Sir, you cannot be here if you're not traveling today," the bald security told him. Noah looked over the man's shoulder and he could see Luke. He stood just close enough to watch Luke.

"Excuse me, he just had surgery. Can you please let him inside?" Maddie asked politely; something she was sure Noah didn't try.

"Just a minute please,"

Luke was so lost in the music coming from his ear buds he didn't see it, but he felt the airplane hit him. A paper airplane. He felt the small poke and looked down on the floor. Stretching slightly, he grabbed the small white plane and unfolded it.

Maddie now had the attention of the airport worker and the security guy. Noah could hear them talking but didn't hear what they were saying to each other. Noah was transfixed on Luke; he saw a small paper plane hit Luke and he saw him reach down to pick it up. He watched Luke look at the piece of paper and then throw his head back to let out a deep laugh.

Luke read the message on the paper and he couldn't help but laugh. He felt Reid step up behind him.

"This is one dirty picture you drew, Dr. Oliver."

"Yes, sir, I am pretty good with stick figures," he stepped around Luke's outstretched right leg and sat down.

"From the position of these little guys I can see what's on your mind," Luke said and then turned the picture in his hands. The two little men he drew were getting to know each other pretty well. He had to admit that he was thinking about it too. "I cannot wait until I get this stupid cast off. Not that I'm complaining, our sex life has gotten pretty creative, but I miss the traditional stuff too," Luke said with a wink.

"Oh, baby, you have no idea how creative I can get. Just wait until I get you home," Reid leaned forward and brushed his lips across Luke's. Luke leaned into the kiss and slid his hand across Reid's cheek.

* * *

Noah stood outside the main terminal and watched the two men. He saw the playful banter between them. He saw everything. He saw them lean in into their kiss. Luke brushed his thumb across Oliver's lips after they pulled away; that use to make the hairs stand up on Noah's neck. He saw the smile on Luke's face when Oliver gave him a foam coffee cup and a couple candy bars. He saw Luke throw his head back when Oliver said something funny. Noah felt the small smile come across his lips. He continued to watch the pair as an airport employee came up to them. Reid got to his feet and pushed Luke's wheelchair out of the terminal, out onto the tarmac, and out of Noah's sight.

"I am going to call the police if you do not leave right now!" Mercy's sunny disposition was gone. She had the phone receiver in her hand and threatening both Maddie and Noah.

"Maddie, let's go," Noah said in a soft voice as he turned to his friend.

"But..."

"Let's go home. Come on," Noah said as he pushed open the double doors of the terminal. Maddie was close behind him. She was totally flabbergasted. After this morning and all that talk in the car, they were just leaving. She wanted to know what the hell was wrong with Noah. They got in the car and she turned to him.

"Ok, explain."

"What?" Noah wouldn't look up or at her.

"After all that talk this morning; after the drive here, where I broke about a dozen traffic laws and after the near fight in there, I'm probably on the No Fly List now. Explain why we are in here right now and not in there."

"I saw hi.,"

"Huh?" To say Maddie was confused was an understatement.

"I saw him and Dr. Oliver,"

"Ok-ay,"

"I just couldn't. I…can we go home? Please," Noah was clamming up. He was shutting down. She knew that it was going to be near impossible to get anything out of him now. She decided to get him home and she was going to get to the bottom of this, even if she had to pry it out of him.

* * *

Once Luke was securely belted in and Reid was sitting next him, the plane begun to taxi down the runway. Luke slipped his hand into Reid's and leaned back into his chair. His head fell to Reid's shoulder and Reid rested his on Luke's.

As the plane left the earth and climbed into the air, Luke thought this was it. This was the beginning of his new life. And it felt good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, whatta think? Don't worry kids, the story is not quite over with yet. I have at least five points I want to hit before I bring down the curtain.  
> Hit review and let me know what you think!  
> Thanks for stopping by!  
> Nex time on Time to Say Goodbye - Noah gets a delivery and has a realization.


	27. The Box

Noah shuffled into the apartment he shared with Maddie and dropped his tired body onto the couch. Maddie watched her friend drop his head back and stare at the ceiling. She dropped her keys into the bowl next to the door and hung her coat up in the closet. When she turned around, Noah had not moved. She slowly walked over to him and sat next to him; facing him. He had not said one word the entire ride back to the apartment. She softly brushed her hand down his arm; to let him know she was there and to be sure that he was all right.

"Noah, what happened? Why did we just leave?" Maddie asked in a soft voice. She was trying not to attack him or crowd him, but she really needed to know what was going on in his head right now. Noah leaned forward and rested his forearms on his knees. He rubbed his hands down his face and let out a long breath.

"I saw him," his eyes were glued to a spot on the floor in front of him.

"Yeah, sweetie. You said that. What do you mean?" Maddie tried to sound comforting, but her dear friend was hurting and she didn't know what to do.

"I saw him and Dr. Oliver. They were in the terminal. I saw…," his voice was betraying him. He just couldn't say what his heart knew to be true.

"You saw what?"

"I, saw, Luke and…he, he was happy," Noah finally said the words out loud. "I could see it on his face. He was really happy. And I just couldn't," Maddie never heard Noah's voice so quiet. Almost as if he was telling her a secret. "I haven't seen him that happy in a really long time. It kills me that I'm not the one who made him that happy. I wanted nothing more than to tell him that I loved him and that I wanted to work all of this out with him, but when I saw them together. And I saw how happy Luke was, I couldn't do it," he finally looked at his friend and she could see the tears gathering at the edges of his eyes.

She wanted to tell him that everything would ok. She wanted to tell him that it wasn't as bad as he thought it was, but she knew it would be a lie and that he wouldn't believe her anyway. Maddie just decided to let him keep talking.

"In that moment, I saw everything that I did to him after the accident and I knew that there was nothing I could say that would top what I watching; just them together when they thought no one was watching. The last year came back to me in a flash. It all made sense. When I first found out about them, I was so angry and said so many things that I didn't mean. I created this Maddie. I pushed him away. I call him horrible names and threw my accident in his face over and over again. I wanted him to hurt just as much as I was. I wanted him to feel guilty. I made him feel like he was less to me when, he is everything. Luke once compared my accident to when my father shot him, but I argued that it wasn't the same. And I was right. Luke didn't blame me, not once. He didn't push me away, he tried, but it didn't work. Luke is a much better man than I could ever be and I don't deserve him," he said and the tears that he had been holding back fell down his cheeks.

"Noah."

"It's true Maddie," he insisted and wiped the tears off his face and took a deep breath to keep the sobs in his chest. "All he ever wanted was for me to get better. He wanted to protect me and I wouldn't let him. I don't blame him for leaving. I really don't."

There was a knock on the door that pulled Maddie from Noah's side. She went to the door and Noah was left in his own thoughts again. He kept running over all the things that had happened since the accident. All of this started when Dr. Oliver came to town. What made it worse was Noah brought him to Oakdale. He had insisted that Dr. Reid Oliver was the only doctor with the skill to help him. He was adamant about it and Luke did what he always does. He moved Heaven and Earth to bring him here. Noah had no one to blame but himself. But even Noah knew that wasn't really true. He and Luke had been having problems for quite awhile and he couldn't put all the blame on Oliver; as much as he'd like to. He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked up to see Lily at the door.

"Mrs. Snyder, er, Grimaldi, ah, I'm sorry. I don't know what to I call you?" Maddie asked a little embarrassed.

"It's Walsh now. I'm back to the beginning. But Maddie, call me Lily please. Is Noah here?"

"Yeah, but he's a little upset now."

"No Maddie, it's fine," Noah said as he came up behind his roommate. Maddie jumped slightly at the sound of Noah's voice.

"You know what? I'm going to get some coffee. I'll be back…later," Maddie said and then snuck past Lily and down the hallway. She decided it would be better to leave them alone. Honestly, she just did not want to handle anymore drama today. She loved Noah, but the chase to airport gave her enough gray hairs.

* * *

Noah watched his roommate walk away and disappear down the stairs at the end of the hall. Lily and him were now alone. He looked at his ex's mother and felt a little out of place. It took another moment to realize that she was holding a box in her arms.

"Here, let me take that. Come in," he said finally realizing his manners. If there was one thing his dad did get right, Noah had perfect manners. Lily handed the medium sized box to Noah and stepped inside his apartment. This was not the first time she had been here. She made sure to check up on him after he moved out, but this was the first time since he had his sight back. Noah put the box down on the coffee table and they fell into silence again.

"How are you?" Lily asked.

"Fine. Did you want anything? Water? Coffee?" Noah asked as he tried to figure out how to act around her.

"No, I'm fine. Why don't we sit down? I want to talk to you," Lily said in her mother voice; the voice that always managed to calm Noah's nerves. He _was_ nervous; why else would she be here? Her son just flew to Dallas to stay and it was because of Noah that he was gone. She was probably going to get angry at him and tell him that she never wanted him to come near her or her family. And Noah would not blame her. He would react the same way. Noah sat down next to Lily on the small couch and he couldn't help but shake just a little. He started to fidget with his nails while his hands rested in his lap.

"You never really answered my question," Lily said and confusion came to Noah's face. "I asked you how you are and you said "Fine.", but give me a real answer," Noah felt his heart fall into his stomach and his eyes fell into his fidgeting hands on his lap.

"I'm not so good," he admitted in a defeated voice.

"That's what I thought."

"I am so sorry Lily," Noah whispered and then looked at the woman he looked to as a mother. She could see the tears swimming in his eyes.

"What for sweetheart?"

"I'm sorry for the accident. I'm sorry for everything that happened after it. I'm sorry that I hurt Luke. I'm sorry that he had to leave," the tears in his eyes were rolling down him cheeks now. Lily put her hands on top of Noah's fidgeting ones. He tensed slightly and then relaxed when he saw the warmth in her eyes.

"Luke's leaving had nothing to do with you, you believe that don't you?" Noah nodded but Lily could see that he was unconvinced. "Baby, Luke moved to start over. He needed to start over. After the election and Damian and everything that happened with getting expelled, he wanted to start over somewhere else. This was Luke's decision. This is something that he needed to do and I want you to know that you are as much my son as Luke is. Nothing is going to change that, ever," Lily said trying to reassure the young man. Everything she said was true, she loved him as if he was one of her own children. She ran her hand through his hair, the same way Luke use to; tucking a strand behind his ear. Noah felt a sense of relief rush through him. Noah brushed his tears away, sniffled slightly, and looked at the box on his coffee table.

"What's this? What's in the box?"

"Luke. He wanted me to give this to you. He said it was very important; he even made me promise," Lily said and she and Noah shared a laugh. She hoped that she had managed to assure Noah that no matter what happened between Luke and Noah, he would always be a member of her family. Luke didn't elaborate what exactly happened and Lily insisted that she wouldn't pry. Luke teased her that there was a first time for everything. "Now, I have to go pick Natalie up from her dance lesson," Lily said as she rose to her feet and adjusted her purse on her shoulder. Noah walked to her the door and showed her out. "And I expect you at my house on Sunday at 5pm sharp for dinner."

"Yes ma'am," Noah said with a smile. Lily looked at the six foot two man in front of her and looked a little less lost than he had when she came over, but he still looked like a little boy. Lily reached up, wrapped her arms around Noah's shoulders, and pulled him into a hug. His arms went around her waist and held her tight for a moment.

"There are more of your things at the farm yet. You can leave them there as long as you want or need," she said then gave him a kiss on the cheek and left. Noah pushed the door shut and looked back at the box still sitting on the coffee table.

He looked at the outside of the box and took it all in. It was about foot wide by little more than a foot long. There were no wires; so no bomb. There were no blood stains; so not a scary, 'Fatal Attraction' type gift. Noah was intrigued and scared to look at it. He assumed that Luke was giving him some of the things he had found when he was packing, but what could he be giving him? Staring at the box on the coffee table for another ten minutes, Noah suddenly got a splitting headache. After getting four Advil and a bottle of water from the kitchen, Noah wandered back into the living room. He sat down on the couch and looked at the box again.

A moment's courage. That was all it took to open it. One surge of strength to pull the top off of the box that was just sitting in front of him. Then why couldn't he open it. He couldn't will his hands to do it.

"Just do it, you coward," Noah said out loud to himself; his voice sounding too much like the Colonel's.

Noah pulled to top off and set it next to him. He was right in thinking that it was just a box of his things. There were a couple shirts rolled up in the top. Noah recognized them as shirts of his that Luke had swiped and slept in. He lifted them out and held them to his nose. No matter how many times the clothes were washed, Luke's scent just lingered; or maybe only Noah could smell it. He folded them up and set them next to the box. There was Noah's "Art of Filmmaking" textbook; Noah wasn't sure why Luke had taken this with him. They were the odd and ends of their relationship. The play program from their weekend in Chicago; the weekend that Noah immortalized on DVD. The DVD that he would not admit the number times he's watched since he got his sight back. There were tickets to baseball games and concerts; little notes that they wrote each other. There was also a picture that Ethan drew Noah that had been hanging on their fridge in their apartment. Noah remembered when Ethan gave it to him. He and Luke had been babysitting him at their place and Luke had the great idea of giving a four year old glitter. They were finding little bits of glitter for weeks; Noah laughed at the thought of it. Noah could feel his heart and stomach flipping and flopping in his body. The item at the bottom made his heart split down the middle. There in the corner, folded with great care, was a black and dark green striped tie. He could feel his hands shaking and his chin wobbling as he reached for it. His fingertips lightly brushed the fabric, but he couldn't bring himself to pick it up. He just couldn't do it.

That is when the anger hit.

He grabbed all of the things that he had lovingly removed and forcibly shoved them back inside. He didn't want to see any of it. He didn't want to be reminded of the love that he didn't have any more. The love that he threw away. So he decided to throw it all away. He walked into his room and grabbed everything that he had that reminded him of Luke or their time together. CD's, books, little toys that Luke managed to find, anything and everything that there was. Noah came back into the living room with an armload of stuff and he dropped them into the box. He reached for the lid when he remembered one more thing and went to his room for it. He came back into the living room with a CD case with the textured binding. He flipped the case in his hands for a breath and then dropped it into the box. He secured the lid back on the box and dropped it near the door.

* * *

About an hour later, Maddie walked through the door and saw that the apartment was just how she left it; save her roommate. When she left he was talking to Lily and now he was not in the living room, but when she looked toward his bedroom she could see faint light coming from under the door. Just as she stepped away from the front door, she gasped in pain as she stubbed her toe on a box. She grabbed her throbbing foot and looked at what she walked into. The lid had fallen off and to the side; she could see the box's contents. Maddie crouched down and looked inside. There were a couple shirts, some folded papers, a DVD, a few books and CD's, she knew what this was. She remembered making a box just like this when she broke up with Casey. Noah was getting rid of all his "Luke" memories. All of the things you keep when you are seeing someone; the sentimental stuff that you collect. It broke her heart that her friend was hurting so much. She reached down to put the lid back on when she noticed something stuck to the lid. She flipped it over and saw it was an envelope with "Noah" written on it.

* * *

Maddie softly opened Noah's door. It looked like a small hurricane raced through the room. Things on his dresser, desk and book shelves were tipped over or on the floor. Noah must have swept around the room grabbing each and everything that reminded him of Luke. He was lying on his side with his back to the door. She took in a deep breath and walked over to him. She laid down next him and draped her arm around his waist. She rested her chin on his shoulder and hugged him to her. He covered her hands with his and relaxed into her.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she could tell by his muffled tone that he had been crying. Maddie started to lightly play with their joined hands..

"What's with the box?"

"Oh. It's just a bunch of stuff I'm been meaning to throw out."

"Is that your "Luke" box?" Noah looked over his shoulder and saw Maddie's knowing glance. "I threw out my "Casey" box," she said and then sat up. Noah rolled out his other side and faced his friend. "I don't think you should get rid of that stuff."

"Why should I keep it?"

"Because I know, that one day you will look back and wish you had it. I know I wish I still had mine. Besides, you didn't even read the letter."

"What letter?" Noah sat up at this point. There wasn't a letter in the box.

"Why don't you take another look in the box?" Maddie casually said. She pushed off the bed and left the room. Noah debated whether to get up and see what she was talking about or stay where he was. Did he really want to dredge up all of this again? The sooner he puts all of this behind him, the better.

* * *

Maddie was in the kitchen making a sandwich when she heard Noah's door squeak open. She looked over her shoulder and saw Noah walk into the living room. She wasn't obvious. She kept working on her sandwich while making glances over her shoulder. He walked across the room and over to the front door. Noah looked down at the box. He could see the white envelope just inside the lid. Noah put the lid back on the box, picked it up and went into his room. Maddie couldn't help but smile to herself as she tighten the lid on the mustard jar.

Noah set the box down on the bed and stared at it. He could feel his feet getting restless. He was fighting the urge to pace. There it was again…a moment's courage. Noah picked up the lid and flipped it over. She was right. It was a letter. His name was written across the white envelope in Luke's beautiful script. With shaking hands he pulled the envelope away and turned it over in his hands. The envelope was pretty thick. Of course it was. Luke could never edit himself. Noah sat down on his bed, let out a long breath, and broke the seal on the envelope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what do you think?  
> Hit review and let me know!  
> Thanks for stopping by!  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Noah does a little reading.  
> Stay Tuned!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit short, but the letter is the plot point this time. I just wanted to concentrate on that.  
> I hope you like it.  
> Enjoy!

Noah took a deep breath and slowly pulled the letter out from the envelope. His hands were shaking. Why were they shaking? It was just a letter. Ink on white paper. Why was he so scared to read it? And then it hit him. He could pretend that Luke still loved him. He could imagine that it was hard for Luke to leave him. He could think that none of what happened was his fault, but this letter may prove that all of that was untrue. The letter that Luke wrote him could validate all of the fears and insecurities that he had about them. Noah didn't want to read it and find all of this to be true, but he had to. He couldn't put it back in the envelope and pretend it didn't exist.

Noah let out one more long breath and unfolded the letter. The second he saw Luke's handwriting; black ink against the white paper, Noah's breath caught in his throat.

* * *

_**Dear Noah,** _

_**Well, this is it.** _

_**I'm writing this the night before my big going away party. You know my mom, she wants to make sure that I know what I'm going to be missing. It's quiet in my apartment and I have a feeling that you aren't going to come to the farm tomorrow night. I don't blame you, I really don't. I kept thinking these last few weeks about us and the course that our relationship took.** _

_**Who would have thought that a closeted army brat and a plain old rich brat would find love? And we did. I fell in love with you and to this day I am not sure what did it. I don't think that I could actually pinpoint the moment, but it probably happened the first time I really talked to you. It was just a feeling. I remember looking at you and knowing that you were it. Nothing drastic or overwhelming; I just looked at you and I knew. I think that was why I tried so hard. Why I pestered, (you can admit it, I pestered) you so much and tried to get you to come out. I kept saying it was because I knew that you were gay and needed to do this because it was the only way you could really be happy. But deep down, I wanted you. I wanted you all to myself. I wouldn't even admit it to myself, but I know now that I did. That was my first act of selfishness where you are concerned and many more came. I know that now.** _

_**I never meant for any of this to happen. Especially with Reid. I was never trying to deceive or humiliate you, even though that is exactly what I ended up doing. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to hurt you. I already caused you to lose a year of your life to blindness and I did not want to kick you while you were down.** _

_**All I have ever wanted was for you to get better. Truly. No hidden agenda or malice. I just wanted you to have your life back. I knew that if I had told you that I was moving on, and moving on with Reid, you would have refused his help. And he was the only one who could give that to you. When you said that he was the only one who could perform you operation, I knew that there was nothing that could get my way. I needed to bring him here to help you.** _

_**Even though we had broken up, I still wanted to take care of you and make sure that you were going to be all right. It was the least I could do after causing the accident in the first place. But I never thought of it as an obligation, not once and don't you ever doubt that. I was happy to do it because I loved you. I still do. I love you Noah. I have always and will always.** _

_**My leaving had nothing to do with you. It was not your fault. I just needed to do this. I want to be more than just Holden Snyder's son and Lucinda Walsh's grandson. I need to get away from everything that has happened in the last two years. I also have to see if this thing with Reid is anything. I do love him, of course I haven't told him that yet; in case you were wondering. I don't love him like I loved you, but I don't think I'll ever find a love like ours again.** _

_**I wish we could have talked before I left. I feel like I'm deserting you. We were everything to each other for so long. Maybe that was the problem. Our relationship started out intense, with everything with your father and it never lessened. There was also my family drama (a lot of Snyder/Walsh/Grimaldi drama!) and we never did get a reprieve. Maybe we would have been better if it had. I wanted to give you closure before I left, but hopefully this letter with help.** _

_**I wish so many amazing things for you. I hope that you find a bit of peace where your dad is concerned. I hope that you finish school and get your dream directing job somewhere. I hope you can forgive me for moving on. It was not easy for me to do. It wasn't something that I took lightly and I hope you know that hurting you is probably the worst thing I have ever done.** _

_**I am happy you know. Don't ever worry about me. Reid takes good care of me and I him. As odd and strange as our relationship may seem from the outside, we fit. We complement each other. I know I'm going to be happy with him and I hope you can find some happiness too. You are too good of a catch to be single for long.** _

_**You know what, I think we were meant to find each other. We were meant to be there for each other at that time in our lives. We helped each other through some pretty terrible times and I would not change a single moment. Not a single breath. I am who I am because of you. I'm stronger, kinder, and more resilient because I met you. You were my first love, my first everything, and thank God everyday for you. I have tried to imagine what my life would have been if I never met you. And I gotta tell ya' it's a pretty bleak picture. All of my best choices and decisions were inspired by you. I created my Foundation to make you proud of me. I would have not created it or helped all of those people if it hadn't been for you. Deep down, I have never felt worthy of you. Your heart and soul are so pure that I wanted to make you proud of me.** _

_**So I thank you Noah for being my love and my heart for three years. Three years that I would not change for anything. Well, maybe we could have skipped that whole Ameera part. You were my miracle, my once in a million.** _ _**I still remember the very first time I got lost in your eyes and what I saw there surprised me. Until that moment, I had never seen two eyes say so much. That amazing blue gaze you laid upon me gave me a sensation of how delicate and fragile your heart was. Yet the darkened depth of that gaze showed me the power and determination of your soul.** _

_**To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others. -** _ _**Anne-Sophie Swetchine** _

_**I love you Noah. If you ever need me, call for me. I'll find you as fast I can.** _

_**Luciano Eduardo Snyder** _

* * *

Noah wiped the tears that had been flowing down his cheeks the entire time that he read the letter. Even though the tears clouded his vision, he read the whole letter, twice. He carefully folded the paper back up and slid it into its envelope. He stood up and walked across his room. Noah brushed his fingertips across Luke's handwriting on the envelope and set the letter down on his dresser. He stepped back and sat down on his bed. Letting out a haggard breath, he laid back and stared up at his ceiling. There was nothing hurtful or cruel in the letter. Luke had poured his heart out onto the paper. It was a gift. That letter reflected Luke's soul and Noah was glad he read it. Sure he may not have wanted to hear some of things in it, but Luke was trying to do this for Noah; give Noah peace. He took comfort in knowing that the things that Luke said, he did not say lightly. Luke was nothing if not honest and would never say something that he didn't mean.

Noah slid up his bed and laid his head on the pillows. His body felt a hundred years old and he was suddenly so tired. He rolled on his side and looked at the purple sky outside. From the colors playing across the late evening sky, Noah could tell that tomorrow was going to be a beautiful day and maybe Noah would be ok with that.

Yes, tomorrow, may be a little easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, whatta think?  
> Hit review and let me know what you think!  
> Thanks for stopping by!  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Time passes and the boys see each other again!  
> Stay Tuned!


	29. Homecoming

He sat in his car, parked in the gravel driveway, and tried to will himself to get out. He drove the whole way here. Took two tanks of gas and a couple hotels to get here and now he was just sitting there. The AC went off when he turned the engine off and the late spring sun was quickly warming up the car. It was her graduation. She called him herself to make sure that he came and he was afraid to get out of the car. What if he was here? Faith did say that he invited him, but was he going to show up? He wasn't sure if he could see him yet.

Yet?

It had been two years since they split up and he wasn't ready to see him. He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard fingers rapping on the driver's side window. He jumped slightly and opened the door.

"You've been sitting here for nearly fifteen minutes, son. Are you going to come out of there?" Holden asked and smiled as he exited the car.

"I was lost in thought," he said embarrassedly.

"I see that. Come here," the two men shared a hug and Holden helped him carry his bags into the farm house. The house looked the same. It had a fresh coat of paint and the shutters were blue now, but it was same house he remembered. Everything was the same; the house; the smell of the animals and the lilac brushes near the house; the sound of the gravel under his feet; the light whisper of the trees swaying in the breeze; he felt like he had traveled back in time to his teen years. They walked towards the screen porch and Holden turned toward him.

"He's not here you know," Holden told him in soft voice. "Faith asked him to come, but he couldn't get time off work," Holden finished. He inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. With each step he took toward the house, he was feeling his anxiety level growing higher. To hear that he wasn't here, he left a bit more like himself. Of course guilt for feeling relief quickly filled his heart.

"Look who I found lurking in the driveway!" Holden called out to the women in the kitchen. They were all there. Lily and Natalie were chopping vegetables at the table. Janet and Emma were at the island, elbows deep in pie crust dough. Katie and Carly were working on hanging decorations, while Meg and Faith were making table decorations. He smiled as he saw all of them. The Snyder women.

"NOAH!" The youngest Snyder yelled as she jumped from her chair and ran towards the tall brunette. She jumped into his arms and they shared a long hug. She was nearly thirteen and he was still wrapped around her little finger.

"Hey ladybug," Noah said back and kissed her hair. He slowly lowered her to her feet and then he was nearly tackled by the rest of them. He got hugs and kisses from the assembled women. When the stampede was over, he was wearing nearly every shade of red lipstick possible.

"I'm going to show Noah to his room," Holden jumped to Noah's rescue and pulled the younger man to safety. The two men walked upstairs and into one of the guest rooms. It had been Aaron's room; Noah could tell by the car magazines and football posters. It was also across the hall from Luke's old room. Holden started to talk and Noah wasn't listening. Memories from the past were running over him at break neck speed. It was coming in flashes; images running on fast-forward.

"Huh?" Noah asked as he came back to earth.

"I asked you if this would be ok."

"This is great Holden. Thank you," Noah put his bag in the bed and looked at the older man. He looked slightly older than the last time his saw him. Thousands of hours of farm work had weathered his skin a little more and the grey hairs were streaked along his sideburns.

"Well, Lily told me that you were coming and that you were going to staying at the Lakeview, mama wouldn't hear of it. She insisted that you stay here and you know that there is no saying no to mama," the two men laughed at Holden very true statement.

"You got that right. I don't think I would even want to try to."

"You got that right. Well, I'll leave you to get settled in. I'm off to string lights around the barn."

"Do you need any help?"

"No, ah Jack is going to help."

"You sure, I don't mind. I kind of miss farm chores," Noah said and fought the urge to slid his hands into the pockets of his khakis. Holden smiled at the younger man and agreed; he could use all the help he could get.

"Ok. Why don't you change into some jeans and meet me downstairs."

"Yes, sir," Holden left Noah alone and Noah quickly changed into a ratty t-shirt and grubby jeans. He thought it was silly to pack clothes that he only wore on laundry day and never wore outside of his apartment, but deep down he was hoping that he would get to work for Holden while he was home. Noah stepped into the hallway and stared at the door that led into Luke's old room. He remembered all the nights that he snuck into Luke's room while he stayed at the farm. They both knew it was risky, but Noah always had to kiss Luke goodnight. He wanted his last memory before he fell asleep to be Luke' lips. Noah shook himself to knock the old memory way and then made his way downstairs and out to the barn.

Holden only had to point Noah towards the tasks he needed done and the boy went to work. It was like riding a bike; the movements were forever etched in his brain. He helped restack the hay bales in the loft. He mucked out a few stalls. Helped Holden re-shoe StarDancer; surprisingly easier than Noah thought it would be. He did all of these things while not thinking about Luke and everything that they use to do in here together. Not remembering the glances and flirty conversations they use to have while doing chores. Not remembering the playful gropes and ass-smacking that went on when they would pass each other. And of course, he was not remembering the make-out sessions in the loft that led to blow and hand-jobs that would make any romance novelist blush.

Who was Noah kidding? Every little thing on this farm reminded him of Luke.

Noah was sweeping out the tack room when he heard a car come up the drive. He paid no mind to it. The Snyders were a huge family and one of their own was graduating from high school. It made sense that they would start to come home. He continued to sweep; Holden said that they had to get the place as spotless as they could. Faith wanted a barn dance and Holden was not going to disappoint his daughter. Noah could hear the car park and the doors open and close. He put the broom aside and wiped his brow on his t-shirt as he made his way to the barns double doors. He was just outside when he saw the unmistakable blonde hair. Noah breath caught in his throat.

Luke was home.

* * *

Luke looked around the old Snyder homestead. He took in a long breath and relished in the familiar. He missed this place even more than he thought he would. He loved living in Dallas, but Oakdale would always be home to him. He looked up at the house and saw a small brunette with the tight ponytail come out of the porch. She had her arms crossed, almost like a shield against her older brother. Luke knew that look; that was the trademark Snyder scowl. He held in the laugh that wanted to come out and met his sister halfway down the driveway; his arms crossed to mirror her.

"You said you couldn't come," Faith declared in an even tone.

"I moved some things around and made it work."

"I called you again last week and begged you to come. When did you know that you were coming?"

"The day before you called me," he said and bit the inside of his lip to stop the smile from busting out.

"YOU ASS!," Faith yelled and began hitting her brother across his chest and arms. Luke tucked his body down to protect himself. "You made me miserable! I thought you didn't want to come home for my day!"

"Considering the welcome I just got! Don't know why I'd ever think that!"

"Shut up and give me a hug, you goober!" Faith grabbed his arm and pulled him to her. He wrapped his arms around his little sister and kissed the top of her head. Noah watched the whole display and smiled at the easiness that Luke and Faith shared. They had grown up fast together and they had the battle scars to prove it. Noah was always slightly jealous of the relationship Luke and Faith had. Faith had always called Noah her brother, but it wasn't quite like them. Noah was about to cross the wide expanse between the barn and house when he heard…

"Uncow Weed!" Eliza yelled as she ran across the driveway and jumped into the man's arms. Reid scooped her up and swung her into the air. Eliza giggled as the last spring sun shined through her strawberry blonde hair.

"Sweetie, careful. Remember the airplane fiasco of last Christmas," Luke relayed to his boyfriend; Reid winced and placed the little girl back down onto her feet.

"Again!" She yelled.

"Later. I promise," he said and Eliza seemed ok with that. She turned quickly and ran into the house. "Maybe when more time has passed since eating," he said as he remembered Eliza getting sick all over when he introduced her to the "airplane" last Christmas. Reid walked up to Faith and they had a brief stare down; they mirrored each other with their arms crossed. Reid tried his best to copy the signature Snyder scowl, but he was still just an amateur.

"So. Dr. Oliver. Kill anyone lately?"

"Faith!" Luke shouted.

"Day ain't over yet," he said with a wink. The stand-off ended and they shared a laugh and a long hug. They always did this. They always thought new ways to insult each other. Every time Luke fell for it. The last time Reid asked Faith if her drug supply was getting low and she need to get topped off. It was like a weird game that they shared.

"You guys are going to give me gray hairs, I swear,"

"At least you're blonde, no one will be able to tell," Reid said and gave Luke a quick kiss on the cheek. Reid walked back to the car and started to get their gift bags from the trunk. Faith and Luke looked at each other; it was like they were having an entire conversation without opening their mouths. They stepped toward each other and shared another hug.

"Noah's here. He's helping dad with the barn," Faith whispered in his ear. Luke nodded and walked toward the barn. Noah had since gone back to working. He kept seeing how easy Reid had been integrated into the family, but the Snyders were like that. They loved to accept new people. He remembered how fast they took to him. He used to feel angry when he thought of Luke and Reid together, but not anymore. Now he was sad.

Sad that he and Luke had drifted apart.

Sad that Luke and him weren't together anymore.

Sad that in being so careless two years ago, he lost his best friend.

Sad that…

"Hi Noah," a voice said behind him.

Noah's train of thought was cut when he heard that voice. The voice that haunted his nightmares and lived in his dreams. The voice of Luke Snyder. He put the broom against the wall and turned to face him.

"Hi Luke," Noah replied.

His last train of thought came back to him.

He was sad that he still loved Luke and there was nothing he could do about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...  
> Let me know what you think! I love the feedback!  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Luke and Noah talk and forgotten jealousies resurface!  
> Stay Tuned!


	30. All or Nothing

Noah and Luke stood in the barn, not saying anything for a couple minutes. After "hi", neither knew what to say. It had two years since they've seen each other. **It had been** _ **two years**_ **since they've seen each other.** There should be something they could talk about. Anything to break up the tension that was quickly filling the barn's lower level. Noah went back to fidgeting with the previously discarded broom. He was copying the way that he used to fidget with his cane when he was blind all those years ago. Luke noticed right away and he wondered if Noah realized it.

And he did.

"I didn't know you were going to come home," Noah said while still fidgeting with the broom and hoping that Luke didn't notice how nervous he was.

But Luke did notice.

Luke didn't need to be a mind reader to see that his first love was nervous to be around him, but Luke was just as nervous as he was.

"I wasn't sure if I'd be able to, plus it gave me an opportunity to torture Faith a little bit. I get to so rarely now that I live so far away," Luke shoved his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. Noah looked at Luke and he could have sworn he saw that boy that he met when they were 19. His hair was longer than Noah normally liked it and it fell slightly across his forehead. He was wearing a dark green dress shirt tucked into his dark dress pants. The color of his shirt was almost unfair. It made his eyes an even lighter shade of brown and his hair a dreamier shade of blonde. It also fit him just right. It was cut across his chest and highlighted his toned upper body. Luke had undone the top two buttons and Noah never thought he would hate a shirt before, but this one he did.

He could tell that Luke had become a lover of the Texas sun. His hair was a warm golden blonde and his skin had darkened to a creamy latte tone.

He looked utterly perfect. And neither one was speaking.

Natalie yelling from the porch that dinner was ready saved them the torture that had taken the guise of a conversation. 'No wonder Reid hated small talk,' Luke thought to himself. Luke couldn't help but laugh as Natalie's voice echoed across the yard.

"How could someone that small be that loud?" Noah asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"I've been asking myself that for years," Luke answered. Both he and Noah laughed this time and they both could feel the tension around them dissipate; like air leaking from a tire. "Shall we?" Luke asked and gestured towards the house.

"You go ahead. I have to clear up this mess first."

"Ok, I'll see ya in there," Luke said and quickly left the barn. Noah leaned heavily against a stall door and let out a long breath.

_How was he going to make it through this weekend?_

* * *

Luke too was a little frazzled by seeing Noah. Especially when he saw him all sweaty and wearing jeans that were completely unfair. The whole thing was unfair. It had been two years and it was unfair that Noah still looked that good. The shirt he was wearing was rather thin and was getting a bit thread bare; Luke could easily see how Noah had filled out in the last two years. The jeans he was wearing were well-worn and hung off his hips just right. Luke was busy thinking about Noah all sweaty and he didn't even see his boyfriend sitting on the porch.

Luke stumbled back when he did see him. Reid was sitting on the wicker bench; his forearms resting on his knees. It looked like he had been there for quite awhile.

"God! You scared me!" Luke put his hand on his pounding chest to emphasize his declaration.

"I see that."

"What are you doing? Sitting out here all by yourself?" Luke asked as his heart rate slowly returned to normal. Reid rose to his feet and Luke stepped closer to him.

"Have you met me? Your family may tolerate me for your sake, but I still can't be alone with them without you as the buffer,"

"You don't give yourself enough credit. My family loves you."

"I don't know about that," Reid mumbled as he rested his hands on Luke's hips. Reid was always confident and downright obnoxious about his intelligence or skill in the OR. Hell, he even got unbearable about his moves in the bedroom. But when it came to matters of the heart and how he interacted with people, Reid was self-conscious. Sure he acted like he didn't care what people thought, but meeting Luke and living with him these past two years, he craved it now. He craved that feeling of belonging. Reid was still Reid, but having Luke in his life, loving him, he had become a whole person. A person he was starting to, dare he say, like.

"Hey. Look at me," Luke said and pulled Reid's gaze to his. He felt Luke's warm hands caress his face; sending shivers down his back. Reid looked into Luke's soft brown eyes and felt his body relax. "I love you. The kids adore you. I'm pretty sure that Eliza wants to marry you," Luke joked and Reid couldn't contain his laugh. "My grandmothers think the world of you. My parents…,"

"Don't," Reid finished Luke's sentence.

"Not true," Luke quickly interjected. "My dad likes you and my mom…is a work in progress," Luke wrapped his arms around Reid's neck and pulled their bodies together. He rested his forehead against Reid's and their breathing slowed. "I love you and if any of them don't like it…," Luke was cut off by Reid's lips attacking his.

After living 35 years without needing validation, hearing Luke's words made Reid want to devour him. He craved that connection. To see that smile that Luke gave him when he came home. To feel him spooning against him at night. Reid had come to need these things. He had become the sap he had always teased Luke for being. His right hand tangled in the hair at the nape of Luke's neck while his left dug into his hip; pulling their bodies even closer. Luke tightened his arms around Reid's neck and moaned into the kiss. Reid licked at Luke's kiss swollen lower lip and Luke could feel his skin warming under his clothes.

The screen door leading into the porch squeaked and Luke broke the kiss. Reid looked over his boyfriend's shoulder and saw a shocked and annoyed Noah standing in the doorway.

"Ah, Mr. Mayer," Reid said and coughed to clear his throat. "I didn't see you there."

"Apparently," Noah said in a neutral tone. At least he hoped it sounded neutral because it didn't feel very neutral. Luke disengaged from Reid and turned to face Noah.

"When did you get in?" Reid asked, trying to make conversation. Living with Luke all this time, his boyfriend had managed to mold his people skills into something that resembled normal. Well, as normal as Reid could get.

"About three hours ago. Holden needed help getting ready for the barbeque and the party tomorrow."

"Always ready to lend a hand. Ever the good soldier," Reid replied trying to rein in the sarcasm. Noah bristled and took a half step towards Reid. Luke saw and felt the tension jack up a few notches and tried to intervene. He stepped between the two men and changed the subject.

"Whoa. Dinner sure smells good. Wonder what grandma's made."

"Yeah," Noah said and brushed past Luke and Reid as he went into the house; making sure to knock his shoulder into Reid as he passed. Luke watched Noah's form disappear into the house and then turned to face his boyfriend; who was currently pissing him off.

"What did you do that for?" Luke questioned him.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"You know exactly what I mean," Luke said in a forced whisper; he was trying not to draw attention from anyone in the kitchen. "Are you trying to start a fight with him on our _**first**_ day here?"

"If Mr. Mayer can't have a bit of a sense of humor, that sounds like a deficiency on his side, not mine," Reid answered and then opened the door for Luke. Luke looked at his sometimes infuriating other half and then stepped into the kitchen.

_How was he going to get through this weekend?_

* * *

Noah was in his room; his hands fisting at his sides, pacing back and forth. If Luke hadn't intervened, Noah was sure that he would have hit Oliver. The man was still awful. Noah didn't understand how Luke put up with him. Truly. He was arrogant, hard, cold, condescending, selfish; basically the opposite of everything that was Luke. With as big a heart that Luke has, how could he live with someone so cruel? Maybe that was it. Luke always saw the best in people, almost to a fault. Maybe Luke was blind to who Oliver **_really_** was. Perhaps Noah could help enlighten Luke.

After washing up and calming down a bit, Noah joined everyone else already in the kitchen. Seemed like the entire Snyder clan was in the small 15 by 15 foot space. It was almost hard to move around in there. He did manage to see Luke and Oliver sitting at the table eating. Noah stepped up to the island and put a plate together. His eyes looking up from what he was doing every few seconds to look at Luke.

Luke was sitting at the table talking to Lucinda and Lily. Reid was sitting next to and slightly behind Luke; his mouth completely full of Emma's fried chicken. Luke was leaning back, against Reid. It made the ball in his stomach burn a little hotter to see them so close. He took a breath and joined them at the table.

"Hey Noah. So, how is Boston?" Luke asked from across the table.

"Good. I really like it. It's not quite Oakdale, but I've managed to find my niche."

"Thanks great. So how's work?"

"Good. I helped shoot a documentary that's gotten some good buzz. Had a couple meetings about a script I wrote. Been filming some commercials and other freelance work to pay the bills," Noah smiled while he filled Luke in on his life and Reid kept a close eye on his boyfriend's ex.

Dinner was filled with idle chit-chat which Reid just couldn't abide. At least not with Noah. Sure Reid could talk baseball with Holden, reality TV with Carly, food with Emma, he could even hold his own with Luke's younger siblings, but not with Noah. Reid couldn't forget that Noah almost killed Luke. He couldn't forget all of the painful physical therapy sessions Luke had to endure. The months where Luke woke up screaming when his leg would cramp up and getting up at night to help Luke work out his sore leg. These others may be able to forgive and forget when it comes to Noah, but he couldn't.

"So, Noah, are you seeing anybody?" Carly asked out of nowhere. She was trying to end an unpleasant conversation that she was having with Jack. And what was the best way to take attention from her…force it onto someone else. She had a habit of doing that. Anyone in earshot of Carly was now looking at Noah. His cheeks reddened slightly.

"No, I was, but we broke up about a month ago."

"Ah, that's too bad," and she was off. Her distraction worked and her and Jack's argument was quashed, for now. But Noah was still three shades of embarrassed. Luke's heart went out to him. Carly was notorious for making waves and leaving unexpected messes in her wake.

"Hey. She did the same thing when I came out," Luke whispered over the table at Noah, who smiled in response. "She used me once to get out of a week long fight she was having with Jack," he winked at him, hoping it would help him feel better. Reid was about to say something to break up this little moment when slamming doors broke up the moment for him.

"Uncow Weed! Uncow Weed! Airpwane now? Pwease!" Eliza begged as she ran into the house.

"She won't leave you alone until you do it," Luke said as he watched his tiny cousin climb into Reid's lap. Reid tried to look put out, but it was no use. He loved playing with Luke's little relatives, it was the big ones he had problems with.

"All right, all right," he said and tried to sound annoyed, but Luke knew better and smiled as he watched Reid leave the house with Eliza and Jacob tagging behind.

* * *

Luke got up, put his and Reid's dishes in the sink, and walked outside. Noah's eyes followed Luke across the room and out of the house. He waited a beat and followed out behind him. Noah got out into the driveway and saw Reid playing with two laughing kids. It looked like he making monster noises and chasing them back and forth, but Noah couldn't see Luke. Noah "casually" looked in the barn, but no luck. There was only one more place he could be. Noah made his way to the pond. The sun was just about to set and the orange sky reflected across the still water. He could see Luke sitting on top of a picnic table. He made sure to make noise so he wouldn't startle him. Luke looked over his shoulder and saw Noah.

"Hey."

"Hey. What are you doing here?" Noah asked as he got closer.

"I have to get up and walk or my leg cramps up at night."

Noah bit back that queasy feeling in his stomach as he walked closer to Luke and took a spot on the table just to the blonde's right. He could feel the heat coming off Luke, not to mention his cologne and bodywash. He hadn't been this close to Luke in, well since that day in the hospital. Luke was finally awake after the accident that nearly killed him and he had forgiven Noah for everything. And what does Noah, he starts a fight. He was yelling at himself to shut-up, but his mouth just would not stop. But it wasn't even Luke he was mad at. He was mad at everything, but not Luke. It was never about Luke.

Noah could not help but look down at Luke's right leg. He could see Luke shift slightly, trying to get comfortable. He got that queasy feeling again and he just had to ask.

"Does it hurt?" Noah's voice was so soft, he almost didn't hear it.

"What?" Luke asked while he stared out at the water. He turned his head to face Noah and saw him gesture towards his leg. "Sometimes, especially when it gets cold. Good thing I live in a arid climate, right."

"Yeah, right," Noah mumbled. The space between them grew real quiet. They listened to the light breeze lap the water against the shore and loon calls float across the early night air.

"I almost forgot how much I missed this place."

"Yeah, me too. Working in the barn today, I couldn't help but think about those months I lived here with you. All the mornings that we did chores and _other_ things in the barn," Noah smirked and Luke glanced at him; a small laugh escaped Luke lips. He nudged Noah and realized how much he missed his friend Noah too.

* * *

Reid carried an exhausted Jacob and Eliza into the house; both of them barely awake. He handed each off to their respective mothers and look around the house for Luke. Holden told Reid that he saw Luke walk outside about an hour ago. He decided he would find his boyfriend. They needed to get checked into the Lakeview before it got too late. He checked the barn and then made his way to the only other attraction at Snyder farm; Snyder Pond. He wandered down to path to the pond and stopped as soon as he saw them.

Luke and Noah sitting on the picnic table.

Reid thought it once and that thought came into his mind again. If it was up to him, Noah would never be allowed to be around Luke ever again.

"Luke?"

Luke looked over his shoulder and saw his boyfriend standing about 15 feet up the path with his hands in his pockets.

"We better go. We don't want to miss check-in," Luke said to Noah as he slipped off the table.

"You're staying at the Lakeview?"

"Yeah, you know grandma's rules. Plus the house is a bit full tonight. See you tomorrow?" Luke asked Noah. Noah just nodded in response. "Goodnight Noah."

"Goodnight Luke,"

Noah turned back towards the water and listened as Luke and Oliver walked up the path. The sun was almost fully set when he heard their car pull out onto the driveway. He sunk down slightly on his perch and let out an exasperated breath. He needed to show Luke who Oliver really was. Tomorrow was his chance.

* * *

Faith's graduation party had started and everything was going great. She was getting hugs and cards from all of her visiting relatives. Taking her out of that boarding school and enrolling her back in Oakdale High was the best decision that Holden and Lily had made in a long time. She was mellowed and she even managed to pull her grades up in enough to graduate with honors. So she was happy. The first in a long time. She even thought things were looking up. Her parents were working things out and her brother was home for a couple days. Faith didn't realize how much she missed Luke until she thought that he was not coming home for her party, but have him, Reid, and Noah here made everything seem better.

The party was in full swing. The food was still plentiful, the kids were having fun in the yard, and the music filled the air. They were blessed with warm weather and no sign of rain. It seemed as if nothing was going to ruin the party. If she only knew.

Noah had been watching Luke with Oliver all day. They were never far apart. They always seemed to be touching somehow. A hand on the leg, or clasped hands, or shoulders leaning into each other. It was driving Noah crazy. Something he said to Luke so many years ago played in the back of his head whenever he latched eyes on them. _"I can't stand being around you and not touching you,"_ Noah's jaw clenched a little tighter each time. He saw Ethan grab Luke's hand and drag him over to the house. Now was his chance.

Reid was sitting at one of the many picnic tables set up around the barn. He was picking at his food as he looked around the assembled party. Many of the faces he knew from his tenure at Oakdale Memorial Hospital. There were the Hughes; Casey, Margo, and Tom. It seemed that Casey was once again seeing blonde and annoying, also known as Alison. Bob and Kim were also there. He still had a great deal of respect for his former boss. Bob had called him about taking over the new Neurological Wing from the incompetent "Dr." Channing, but he wanted to discuss it with Luke before he just made a decision on it. He was surprised how much his life had changed. He and Luke had been together for two and a half years and his entire identity had changed. He was no longer an "I", he had joined the ranks of "We" and he was all right with that.

"Dr. Oliver." Reid turned around to face the oh-so-familiar voice that came from behind him.

"Mr. Mayer," Reid was trying to be polite, but he knew he was failing. He hated even the sight of his boyfriend's former. Noah sat down across from him.

"You know there is something that I have always wondered," Noah baited him.

"Which is?"

"I was curious about when you started to have feelings for my boyfriend?"

"The second or third time I laid eyes on him," he told him truthfully without even having to think about it. He hadn't wanted to admit it at the time, but he had fallen hard for the young blonde well before they took their love-hate relationship to the bedroom.

"How often have you done it?" Noah's voice raised. They were slowly starting to draw attention from the other guests.

"I've done lots of things with lots people, you are going to have to narrow that one down for me," Reid was not going to give him the satisfaction. He did love rubbing Noah the wrong way.

"How many times have you hit on other patients boyfriends? Or girlfriends for that matter, I mean maybe you don't discriminate so long as they're vulnerable and in need of your medical help."

"You can think what you want Noah," Reid then realized where he was. The family loved Noah, without fail. It was like picking a fight with a Red Sox fan in a Boston sports bar. The odds were stacked pretty high against Reid at the moment. He decided to find Luke and actually talk to someone he wanted to talk to. He rose to his feet and turned to walk in the direction that Luke went in.

"Is that why you specialize in blind patients? Must make it easier when the injured party can't see what's going on right in front of their noses," Noah was raising his voice even more now. He wanted to keep Oliver near. He rose to his feet and stood a bit taller; trying to intimidate the doctor.

"This not a conversation that I want to have with you. At least not now."

"No, I think that we should."

"So you really want to do this? Here?" Reid asked incredulously. He wanted to start fight at Faith's graduation party. Reid hoped that no one else was missing this fact.

"What don't you understand? And you call me an idiot."

"Thank you, I have been looking forward to this day," he was actually reveling in the turn of events. He had wanted to talk about this for almost three years.

"Don't tell me that you actually have guilt over stealing Luke away."

"No. So I can finally tell you how many times I had wished that I was the blind one during the whole ordeal with you."

"What?" Noah asked, his brows furrowing.

"That way I wouldn't have had to have to watch you treat Luke like dirt."

"You don't know anything about Luke and me," Noah said quickly; this was getting away from him, but he couldn't stop now.

"Doesn't matter that he blamed himself for what happened. Doesn't matter that he bent over backwards trying to make it up to you. You still found ways to hurt him, to make him feel guilty and responsible and in the end, you left him anyway."

"And when I came back you made sure it was too late. I mean, actually telling us to stay apart during my treatments, I should have known that something was up with you then."

"You can't pin that on me. I was trying to help you."

"Don't you mean yourself?" Noah was sure he got him there.

"You have yourself to blame. You acted like a spoiled brat every time the guy tried to do something to help the one he loved," Reid spat out in disgust. Now everyone was watching their little exchange.

"Are we done?"

"Yeah. Thanks to me you can now see me spend some time with **_my_** boyfriend." Reid, thinking this was now over, turned and started off to find Luke. 

Noah's shoulder slammed into Reid's back and sent them both hurtling over the picnic table. All of the air rushed out of Reid's lungs the moment Noah's body connected with his. His head was swimming; he wasn't sure which way was up. It took another moment for his senses to come back. He looked up and locked angry blue eyes with angry blue eyes. He knocked a hard fist into Noah's chest and sent the younger man onto his back. They scrambled to their respective feet and launched at each other. Luke heard the commotion and ran across the yard towards the barn. He reached them just as Reid's left hook hit Noah right across the cheek. Noah staggered back into the picnic table. He recovered quickly and delivered a punch of his own. Luke could see blood come from Reid's newly formed spilt lip. Luke stood in silence, not knowing what to do, but the answer came from another source.

Holden grabbed Reid and Jack latched onto Noah and they pulled the men apart. The younger men fought against their captors. The entire assembled party had created a defined circle around the commotion.

"Someone mind explaining what the hell is going on?" Holden asked while he tightened his grip around Reid's arms.

"Ask the good doctor over there," Noah spewed venomously and nodded in Reid's attention. Jack closed his arms even tighter around Noah's body.

"You attack me and this is my fault?" Reid spat back and pulled hard at Holden's grasp. Holden and Jack shared a knowing glance and sprung into action.

"Dad!" Luke screamed as he saw his dad and his cousin drag his current and former boyfriends away from the barn. He knew what they were doing and his embarrassment knew no bounds. He watched while Noah and Reid were dragged kicking and screaming and then tossed, fully clothed into the still icy pond. Both men gasped as the cold water doused them fully. Luke walked to the edge of the dock and watched as they struggled to get to the shore while their water-logged clothes tried to pull them under.

Noah and Reid finally made it to the shore and collapsed on the sandy shore. The adrenaline that had fueled their fight now left them exhausted. Luke stood cross armed on the dock and watched Reid and Noah trying to catch their breaths. Luke looked down at Reid and they shared a look. Reid's full of apology. Luke's one of 'I don't want to hear it'.

"Luke," Reid said simply. Luke turned and walked back towards the house. Reid quickly got to his feet and chased after him. He didn't catch up with him until Luke had walked into the house and disappeared inside. Luke came out of the laundry room and handed Reid a towel. He took it and ran it over his dripping hair. Reid watched Luke and tried to gauge his temper level by his body language. He was pacing slowly around the kitchen, slowly fanning his fingers out and then back into loose fists.

"Luke I can explain what happened."

"That would be fantastic because I want to explain to my little sister why you two almost ruined her graduation party."

"He attacked me."

"Unprovoked I'm sure."

"So this is my fault?"

"I know you Reid. You love to antagonize people and I know how much you dislike Noah," Luke finished and put his hands up to quiet Reid from saying anything else. "I don't want to hear anything else. I'm going to go smooth out this mess. Our bags are in the car, why don't you get changed?" Luke voiced and then walked back out into the yard.

He and Luke had fought many times and they would fight many more times. He knew that they would get past this, but that did not make the guilt he felt settle any better.

* * *

Noah paced back and forth on the dock. Holden was nice enough to give Noah a shirt he had hanging in his office in the barn. He thought it would be safer than letting Noah get one of his own from the house. Since he had seen his son and Reid go that way after the fight broke up. After giving Noah the shirt, Holden left Noah alone to calm down or stew, he wasn't quite sure which. Noah rolled up the sleeves of the baggy denim shirt that he was now wearing. He was facing the water when he heard grass and dirt crunch behind him. Noah turned and saw Luke walking slowly towards him. His hands were in his front pockets and Noah couldn't read his face.

"How's your eye?" Luke asked as he looked closer at Noah's face.

"Fine. My ego took a bigger beating," Noah could feel his shame bubbling to the surface. "Luke, I'm sor…,"

"I don't want to hear your apology. You owe it to Faith not me. I would like an explanation. What the hell happened?"

"Nothing. He's just so…he's just so awful Luke. He's mean and cold and conniving. And I know that he treats you the same way," Luke cut him off right there.

"Noah! I don't want to hear this! You don't know the first thing about Reid or our relationship and I will not defend him to you."

"He drags you all the way to Dallas and I'm not allowed to say anything? How can you live 2000 miles from your family? I have a hard time believing that you're ok with that?" Noah yelled. He was pacing back and forth at the edge of the pond. He could still see the drag marks in the dirt where Jack and Holden forced him and Reid into the water. It sure put an end to their fight and bruised his ego much worse than any punch Reid threw at him.

"You know, maybe better than some, that my family can be suffocating. These last two years I have had a freedom that I have never felt before. I can concentrate on _my_ life and _my_ relationship and not have everyone chiming in with their opinions," Luke answered trying to stay calm. "But your problem isn't with where I live," Luke said, realizing that he finally got it. "You still have a problem with Reid."

"That has nothing to do with it," Noah was trying to sound convincing.

"Doesn't it? I don't think this has anything to do with me. I mean I would have to be pretty full of myself to think that you still have feelings for me," Noah flinched at Luke's words, but he was thankful that Luke didn't notice. "You still have a problem with Reid."

"Of course I do. He broke us up!" And there it was. It had been hanging between them for almost three years. Noah felt his stomach clench when the words came out.

"I'm going to say this **_one_** more time. **_You_** broke up with **_me_**. When Reid and I got together, I was single and so was he. If what you said before was true, that Reid wanted you to stop seeing me, you didn't fight it. You were willing to sacrifice _**us**_ for your eyesight. I get it, I do, I might have done the same thing, but don't act like I was cheating on you with him," Luke finished and walked closer to talk to him; as if he was divulging a big secret. "I think I finally know why you did it," Noah heard in Luke's soft voice.

"What?"

"Broke up with me. Because you thought I would always be there. In the background following you around. The fallback guy."

"Luke I never." That wasn't right at all. This was not about him, it was about Oliver.

"Yeah you did. But I'm to blame too. I allowed myself to be that. I was that. I allowed myself to become that doormat, but you know what?"

"What?"

"I got tired of putting my life on hold. Waiting for you. I finally put myself first and you know what, I'm happy. I love Reid and I **_know_** how he feels about me. I am happy. I love my life there and I have to admit, I hadn't been able to say that for quite a while," Noah looked at Luke; letting his words sink in.

"You mean you weren't happy when we were…," Noah felt the rug getting pulled out from under him.

"No, of course I was. Most of the time."

"When?" Noah's voice was fading the longer he spoke.

"When wasn't I?" Luke answered Noah's question with one of his own. But all Noah could do was nod his response. "Between the time that your dad came back and you started your second film."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"We never saw each other. You were stressed out about getting your project done and I was stressed out about work. For a while there, whenever we started talking, we ended up fighting. And then after the accident, there wasn't a point in even bringing it up anymore. You didn't want to hear about how I was feeling anymore." Luke finally let it out. He didn't want to admit that he had been holding that in for almost three years.

"Luke, we have to get going," the two men heard behind them and both looked up to see Reid standing on the path. His face was slightly swollen and his split lip looked raw and angry.

"I'll be right there," Luke said over his shoulder and heard Reid walk back towards the house. He turned back and saw an upset Noah. He was looking down at the ground, his arms were crossed and he was moving from his left to his right foot; rocking slightly from side to side. "Hey, look at me," Luke said as he stepped closer to Noah. Noah was only able to glance up at his ex-boyfriend. Looking at him anymore would make the tears at the corners of his eyes, fall. "I'm sorry I never said anything. I'm sorry that you got hurt in whole thing. That was never my intention, I swear. I wish things had worked out differently, but they didn't. This is what our lives are now. I still wish so many things for you and I hope that you can forgive me someday," Luke said as he lightly rubbed Noah's shoulder. Luke turned and walked back towards the house.

Noah couldn't move. He kept hearing Luke's words in his head. Even after all of this hurt he had caused between he and Luke, Luke was still apologizing. Sure they both screwed up, but Luke was being the better man. He had forgiven Noah, but had Noah forgiven him? He finally looked up when he heard the sound of two car doors slamming shut. He could hear Luke's car pull away from the house and go up the gravel driveway.

Noah sat down on the dock and let his feet dangle over the edge. And he realized something.

He needed to forgive himself. It had nothing to do with Luke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think?  
> A couple more chapters and I have a twist!  
> I promise everyone will be happy.  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Time passes and the boys come for another celebration.  
> Stay Tuned!


	31. Wedding March

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3/13/18 - Chapter 31 is pretty short so I'm posting two.
> 
> Still a twist coming up.  
> Hang in there readers.  
> Enjoy.

Reid Oliver could not believe that he was in this backwoods town again. The last time he and Luke had been back was Faith's graduation. And here he was again. What was it about people coming together to celebrate? He would never understand it. Reid's idea of a wedding was two people, a judge, and then going out for a six-foot sub sandwich. Basic and simple, but that was all he needed. When he found the person that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, all he would need would be that person.

But no. Not this wedding.

He walked through the church and was struck by how ostentatious this wedding was looking. The church wasn't large by any means, but it was a nice size for the wedding that was planned. It was just supposed to be friends and family. At least that was what he was told. He was assured the wedding would be small and the food plentiful. The modest church looked like a bridal magazine had exploded and coated the walls, floor, and ceiling. There were white roses and babies' breath decorating the end of each pew along with an iridescent bow the size of a basketball. The colors were mauve and teal. Reid was sure that he would need an aspirin after staring that those colors all day. Whomever decorated the church must have found every spool of white ribbon in every town North of Chicago.

The aisle between the two rows of pews had a long mauve carpet. He could just picture Jacob and Eliza walking down it. Eliza tugging Jacob along the whole way. That thought did make him smile. He was terrified to see what the poor bridesmaids would have to wear. He physically shuddered at that thought.

"There you are," Reid turned towards the voice and saw his gorgeous boyfriend coming up the aisle. He was wearing a dark blue suit and white dress shirt. It was his dressed up casual look; one of Reid's faves. His hair was spiked slightly and his hands were in his pockets. "I've been looking for you. What are you doing in here?" Luke asked.

"Seeing what kind of damage Katie and Doogie have done to this place," Reid declared as Luke slipped his arm around the doctor's; linking their hands together. Luke turned them and started to walk them toward the back of the church. "I still can't believe that he conned her into marrying him. I still insist that there are pharmaceuticals behind all of this," Luke laughed as Reid gestured to the decorations around them. Luke squeezed himself closer to Reid.

"Reid, Chris is not drugging Katie. We've been over this."

"I don't understand why we had to come back to witness this car wreck. We were just here."

"Faith's graduation was a year ago and because Katie invited us and **_you're in the wedding!_** "

"Tell me again why I have to walk down the aisle with blonde and annoying?" Reid asked as they came to the closed door just outside the sanctuary. Luke faced Reid and started to straighten his jacket lapels.

"Because you do; you know **_you_** can't say no to Katie. By the way, her name is Alison and she's a redhead now. Go on, Katie wants to talk to you," Luke nudged Reid towards the door. He winked at Reid and then walked into sanctuary with the other early arrivals.

Reid entered the small dressing room that had undoubtedly been the place for many brides' last moments before they became married women. He latched the door shut and looked around the room. There were the remnants of early morning mimosas, muffins, and fruit. Never one to let food go to waste, he stated to graze over the leftover fruit platter. Small piles of dirty Kleenexes; smeared with makeup. He was sure those smears had come from tears. What he wasn't sure about was if they were happy tears or not. He could hear someone was in the bathroom and he waited from them to exit. The bathroom door opened and Katie came out. She took Reid's breath away.

Her halter dress was an off-white color at the top and slowly darkened to the dusty mauve at her feet. Her train followed this same pattern. Her light blonde hair was pulled back into an elegant pony tail that cascaded down her bare back. She had kept her makeup very simple, but she never needed much. She was beautiful no matter what.

"Well?" She asked, waiting for any kind of response. She turned slightly from left to right; giving Reid the full effect.

"If I was straight, I'd marry you," Reid tried to convey aloofness, but Katie knew better and her face lit up.

"I am so glad that you are here," she said as she crossed the room. The two friends met in an embrace and held on to each other for a moment. She held him close and sniffled; trying not to break into full on tears. Reid pulled back and reached for some Kleenex. He lightly dabbed her cheeks and gave her a soft smile. "You're late," she said and promptly hit him across the chest.

"Hey!" Reid exclaimed and feigned pain for a moment. "I didn't have to come back here for this."

"Yes you did. Or I would have hunted you down. You missed the rehearsal last night."

"Katie, sweetheart, I am going to have a hard time watching you marry Doogie once, there was no way that I was going to watch a practice run through last night,"

Katie laughed at her friend and pulled him back into another hug which Reid deepened. He pulled abruptly and gave her a dead serious look.

"And why am I not your best man? I mean I have to walk down the aisle with Alison? What gives?" Katie could not hold back the laughter; this was why she needed him here.

"Because Tom is Chris' Best Man and I had to compromise to get you in the wedding at all. Why did you have to antagonize Chris so much?"

"I think it is one of the small priviledges in life."

"Will you at least try to behave during the service?" Katie was not too proud to beg.

"We'll see."

Their reunion was cut short by a knock on the door. Katie called to the person on the other side of the door and her sister opened the door. She poked her head in and sighed when she saw that Reid had actually arrived. She remembered reassuring her little sister that Reid was going to be here for her wedding day. Even if he didn't have the decency to show up for the rehearsal.

"See. I told you he'd be here. The ceremony is about to start, whenever you're ready honey," she said and then slipped back out.

"Well, Dr. Oliver, are you ready for this?" Katie asked and then straightened her spine.

"Miss Peretti, as ready as I ever will be," he extended his arm and Katie slipped her arm thought his. They walked out into the small foyer at the back of the church. Her wedding party was getting ready to file into the church. The standard Canon in D was playing and her bridesmaids started to enter the church.

Finally it was just Margo, Tom, Alison, and Bob standing in the foyer. Reid helped her with her veil, leaned to her ear, and whispered ever so softly.

"My car is gassed up and parked right in front of the side doors if you need to make a fast escape."

A startled laugh escaped her lips and a beaming, tearful smile stretched across her face.

"I don't think I'll need it, but thank you for thinking of me," she whispered back. Reid shared a smile and turned to walk with Alison down the aisle, followed by Tom and Margo. Katie took last breath and looked to Bob as he then escorted her to her wedding. To her future.

* * *

Luke sat at the table and looked at the festivities. The wedding was lovely, despite the odd choice in colors. Luke was told during the service that mauve was Katie's favorite color, while teal was Chris'. It made sense in theory, but in palette. Yuck. The ballroom of the Lakeview was decorated in the same colors as the church, but it wasn't as noticeable in the huge open space. There were round tables set up along the edges of the square wooden parquet dancefloor. The dancing had started and Chris was embarrassing himself with every terrible dance move from the 1980's. Luke just cringed in pain as he watched him and the rest of the wedding party on the floor.

So, the reception was well underway and Luke couldn't help but smile. Oakdale was an amazing place. No matter what was happening in this little burg, everyone came together for the party. This was nothing if not predictable. Everyone was always willing to celebrate the happy times. It never failed to amaze Luke. The indomitable spirit of Oakdale would live forever; much like Reid insatiable love of food. He was making his third visit to the buffet.

_If you supply cold cuts, he will come._

Katie knew that if she promised Reid a never-ending supply of food, he would be there for sure. She made sure to even include that in the invitations; so Reid was sure to know. Luke watched his boyfriend fill his plate and smiled as he tried to balance a huge sandwich on top of a plate of fried chicken with all the fixings. He was so lost in the vision that he didn't hear someone come up behind him.

"So, did you cry at the ceremony?" Luke knew that voice; close to his ear. He turned around to face him and the smile that came was completely natural and utterly breathtaking. Luke quickly rose to his feet and pulled Noah into a hug.

"I didn't think you were going to be here."

"I wasn't sure if I'd be able to. I moved some things around and here I am," Noah said and they slowly stepped out of their embrace.

"I'm glad you are," Luke said and Noah just smiled.

"Where's Reid?" Noah asked; not really wanting the answer, but trying to be polite. Luke pointed to the buffet table and both men laughed.

"He's over filling a plate. Where else?" Luke looked over at the buffet table and then back at Noah. A man Luke didn't recognize came up behind Noah and looked at them.

"Um, hello?" Luke asked, not even trying to hide his confusion. Noah looked over his shoulder and realization came across his face. His cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Shawn, this is Luke. Luke this is Shawn, my boyfriend."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, whatta think?  
> Hit review and let me know!  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Cold cuts, dancing, and relationship news.  
> Stay Tuned!


	32. Wedding Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3-13-18 I posted two chapters today.  
> 31 and 32 went up today.   
> Enjoy.

Luke's eyes were as big as saucers. He took Shawn's out stretched hand and shook it. He didn't say anything, still unable to put two words together.

"It's nice to meet you Luke," Shawn said.

"Yeah. You too," Luke answered back, finally able to speak. Luke released Shawn's hand and felt Reid come up behind him.

"Dr. Oliver," Noah uttered.

"Mr. Mayer," Reid replied as he swallowed a mouthful of food. The two men shook hands and the four of them fell into silence. Reid and Shawn exchanging glances and looking at their respective companions.

"Oh, ah Reid, this is Shawn, Noah's boyfriend. Shawn this is Dr. Reid Oliver, my boyfriend," Luke stammered out.

"Nice to meet you Reid," Shawn said as he extended his hand.

"Yes it is," Reid remarked in his usual way and Luke gave him a little nudge. Reid took the shot and righted himself. "It's nice to meet you too, Shawn," Reid said as he made a side glance at Luke, as if he was checking to be sure that he was doing this right. The newly acquainted men finished with the pleasantries and they fell into silence yet again, but it was Shawn to break it this time.

"Well, I do believe that _**you**_ promised _**me**_ a dance," Shawn said to Noah, who smiled shyly.

"I did, didn't I?"

"Yep."

"Well, let's get this over with," and he gave in.

"Whoa, save some of the romance for later." Shawn teased Noah and Luke giggled slightly. He was glad that Noah seemed relaxed in his relationship. Noah slipped his hand into Shawn's, managed to say a soft excuse us, and led his boyfriend out onto the dance floor. Luke watched them walk away and Reid noticed.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"No idea," Reid answered and sat down. Luke sat down next to him and watched Noah and Shawn for a moment before turning to face Reid. He was digging into his plate of food. Luke gazed at Reid who was completely in his element. He could see the excitement in Reid's eyes while he devoured his food. Luke laughed at his boyfriend while he ate. Marveling in the apparent size of his stomach, which was rivaled only, be the size of his mouth. He reached out and wiped a smudge of mustard off the edge of his bottom lip.

"You get it?" Reid asked as he turned his face for right to left; sly smile on his face.

"Yep," Luke smiled back and glanced over his shoulder.

Reid knew that there was something bothering Luke. He could see it all over his adorable face. But he also knew not to push. Luke would talk when he was ready. Reid knew from past experience there was nothing that would stop Luke from saying what was on his mind. He followed Luke's eye line and saw he was watching Noah and Shawn as they danced. The song transitioned to some cheesy '80's ballad; one that a sap like Luke would love. He realized there was something he could do change Luke's mood.

"Come on," Reid said after shoveling in one more mouth full as he pushed his chair back and stood up.

"Where are we going?" Luke was confused and wasn't going to hide it.

"Mr. Snyder, may I have this dance?" Reid asked and then extended an open hand to his boyfriend. Luke looked at him, blushing shyly. He slipped his hand into Reid's and was pulled to his feet. They walked out onto the dance floor and Reid took the lead and Luke was all right with that. He didn't mind that Reid liked to be in control. It just made the times that Reid gave up control all the better. It was one of the reasons they fit so well.

Reid slipped his left arm around Luke's back and grasped the blonde's hand with his right. Reid put their clasped hands on his heart and pulled Luke even closer to him. Luke rested his other hand at the nape of Reid neck, playing with the curls there. He leaned closer to Reid; his cheek against Reid's.

"This isn't too bad. We should do this more often," Reid whispered into Luke's ear.

"I love you too," Luke whispered back. That was their usual exchange. Reid would say something and Luke would simply answer with an 'I love you too'. The tone of Luke's declaration would change depending on how crazy Reid was driving him. Sarcastic to match sarcastic. Angry to match angry. Reid didn't even need to say it most days; Luke felt it every day. Reid wanted to talk about the little bomb that Noah had dropped on Luke, but again, Luke would talk when he was ready. Reid looked behind Luke and saw Noah with his boyfriend. They looked relaxed around each other. When Luke introduced Shawn as Noah's boyfriend, Reid wondered if he had hired him. But seeing them like this…he knew they were for real. He was glad for it. Noah, despite how he felt about him, deserved to be happy or that's what Luke would tell him.

Reid lightly kissed Luke's neck just under his ear and Luke felt a swell of giddiness course through him. Reid Oliver was a walking contradiction. Around his staff he was a formidable force of nature in a white lab coat. He still liked to talk down to the interns and make nurse cry, as much as Luke tried to deter him. But when he was with Luke, he was sweet, loving and compassionate. One mustn't understand, there were many days when Luke wanted to strangle him, but those days were greatly outnumbered by the good ones.

The song ended and the couples dispersed. Reid and Luke walked back to their table. Reid turned to his plate, which Luke started to graze off from as well. They were there but a few minutes when the bride came over. Luke got to his feet, making sure to kiss the bride. Katie was still utterly glowing.

"Mind if I steal your worst half?" Katie asked Luke and they both watched Reid's brow furrow in mock horror.

"By all means. It'll give his stomach a chance to recover before round four begins."

"The abuse I get from you two. Is it any wonder I never want to come back here?" Katie scoffed and slipped her hands into Reid's and literally pulled him to the dance floor.

Luke watched in great amusement as the two best friends begun to dance to standard seventies dance beat. He smiled to himself as Katie tried to get Reid to loosen up. Luke's leg was stiffing up and he decided to stretch it out. There was a long patio that ran the entire length of the ballroom. There were four sets of doors, each set decorated with balloons, which were opened as the dancing started. The late summer breeze helped to cool down the ballroom; despite the large number of party goers. Party guests were milling about when Luke walked out. He stepped up to the low stone wall that enclosed the patio. He leaned his forearms on it and closed his eyes. He was taking in the Oakdale surroundings.

He could hear the reception in full swing behind him as well as the boats near the harbor. He could smell the last blossoms on the lilac bushes that sat on the edges of the hotel façade. He could feel the cool breeze as it lightly brushed his bangs across his brow. He let out long cleansing breaths, feeling himself relax. He then felt someone step up beside him and their arm brush his as they leaned against the stone wall. He opened his eyes and saw Noah standing there.

"You're not hiding are you?" Noah asked as he playfully nudged Luke.

"No, I just needed some air. Katie is pushing Reid around the dance floor. So, I thought I'd come out here for a little while," Luke explained and the silence spread out between them.

"So. What's Dallas like? Suppose not like this."

"No. It's hot, all the time. I was loving the cool breeze just now. Don't get many of them."

"But you still like it there?"

"Yeah. We bought a condo last year and Reid is now Head of Neurology. What about you and Shawn?" Luke was desperately trying to make conversation. This used to so easy; even before anything happened between them. They could sit and talk for hours, mostly about nothing at all. They had both changed so much; Luke was hoping that they could come back to some kind of friendship.

"We've been dating about a year and a half."

"How'd you two meet?"

"A blind date actually," Noah answered with laughter in his voice.

"Really?" Luke asked with laughter lacing his voice as well. He felt his body relax as the laugh left his body.

"Yeah. Shawn's sister works for a TV station that I freelance for and she setup us up. We hit it off right away."

"I am so glad that you're happy Noah. Really," Luke stressed the last word heavy, hoping Noah would believe him. "That was all I have ever wanted."

"Thanks and I've alwyas know that. Look, Luke, I'm ah…I'm sorry,"

"Huh?"

* * *

Reid was exhausted and Katie would not let up. He was tempted to ask her what Chris had slipped her. A slow song saved him from doing one more hip gyration. He grabbed Katie's arm and pulled her to him. She stumbled into her ex-roommate and slipped her arm over his shoulder.

"Not a bad wedding huh?"

"Not too bad. Just long enough to get all the 't's' crossed, but not too long to annoy anyone. I am glad that you opted to use the traditional vows. If I had to hear Doogie declare _his_ feelings for you, I probably would have made a joke and ruined the whole thing."

"I warned Chris that you might do that. I am so glad that you and Luke came. I have to say that I was a little worried."

"I'm just here for the food."

"I love you too," Katie teased and gave him a light peck on the cheek. This whole thing was getting a little too mushy for him.

"So, what do you think of Noah's new guy?" Reid asked as he gestured toward Shawn. He was standing near the bar talking to Holden and Lily.

"I like him. I met him when Noah brought him home for Christmas last year."

"Doesn't he remind you of someone?" Reid asked and Katie looked back at towards the bar. Her eyes squinted and she seemed to weighing her options and then realization swept over her face.

"Oh my god!"

"That's what I was thinking," Reid said as they danced closer to the edge of the floor. Reid had noticed it right away, but thought he was being ridiculous. But as time went on and the more he looked at him, it was obvious that Noah had _**a**_ type. Shawn was trim and lean at just under six feet tall. He was clean shaven with longish sideburns. His hair was cut short and styled to look messy and neat at the same time. The color was blonde, just a shade darker than Luke's. When he smiled, his dimples were hard to miss. Reid hadn't seen his eyes too closely, but he as sure that they leaned more toward the darker shades. Katie was shocked that she hadn't realized it before and wondered if anyone else had noticed.

* * *

"Can we sit?" Noah asked and gestured toward a small metal table and a pair of chairs. Luke nodded in response; it was only answer he could give. The two men walked the short distance and sat across from each other. Noah adjusted his chair and looked straight at Luke. _It was now or never._ "I'm sorry for so many things. After the accident I pushed you away because I blamed you. It was easier than blaming myself,"

"Noah, it was an accident."

"I wanted to punish you."

"Yeah, well mission accomplished," Luke said in a defeated voice, staring down at this hands.

"I know it was accident and I am so sorry Luke for taking it out on you. All you wanted was to love me and I wouldn't let you do that."

"Noah, you don't have to do this. I have forgiven you for all of this," Luke reached out and took Noah's hand in his. "No matter what happens in our lives, we will always be connected. I still love you," Luke lightly rubbed his thumbs across the backs of Noah's hands. Noah could feel a weight being lifted off of him.

"You have no idea how much better I feel." He could feel the relief flowing over him.

"What brought on all of this?"

"Shawn. He's a psychologist. Not mine," Noah quickly amended, "but he has helped me work through some tough things."

"Like your dad?"

"Yeah and the accident. Also, everything with Reid."

"What do you mean? Reid is good guy and an amazing doctor. He gave you back the life you wanted."

"But he took away the one thing I needed," Noah mumbled.

"No. He didn't take me away. You pushed me away all by yourself. Things may not have gone down how either one of us would have liked and I am really sorry that you got hurt, I really am, but none of this is Reid's fault. It's ours."

"Let's not do this. I guess I wasn't as ready as I thought I was," Noah said and then got up quickly and went back inside. Luke reached for his hand, but just brushed his sleeve instead. Luke sat back against his chair and stared up at the lightly twinkling stars. Reid was walking out to find Luke just as Noah was rushing back in. He did manage to grab Noah and stop his egress. He saw Luke just behind Noah, looking defeated. Reid was well acquainted with that look from the months he observed from the background when Luke and Noah were still together.

"Mr. Mayer. I think we need to talk," Reid said in voice that made Noah know he wasn't kidding. Reid's grip tightened around Noah's bicep as he pulled him into a store room just off the main ballroom. The room was nearly empty now, but it was obvious that chairs and tables were put in here in between functions. There were also boxes set on metal shelving along one wall. Noah could read 'New Year's', 'X-Mas' and 'Halloween' scrawled across the cardboard boxes in black marker; clearly this was where the Lakeview also stored their holiday decorations. Noah was fuming and he could feel his hands shaking and pulse rising. Reid shut the door and turned to face Noah. He slipped his hands into his pockets and the two men locked eyes. The silence that spread between them quickly filled the room.

"Why did you drag me in here?" Noah demanded; fidgeting with his hands.

"We need to have a little conversation," Reid said rather casually, even though his temper was teetering on explosion. Seeing Luke hurt in anyway tended to do that to him.

"I said everything that I wanted to say to you two years ago," Noah said and then tried to get around Reid.

"Enough! Are you done?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you done pouting and making Luke feel like crap? Listen, we will never be friends and honestly I am fine with that, but Luke still cares about you. He misses you. The way I see it, you have two choices. Now you can finally grow up, put all the hurt feelings aside, and be his friend. Or you can carry around that huge chip on your shoulder and risk losing Luke out of your life for good."

Noah swallowed hard on the lump that was rising into his throat. On some level he knew Oliver was right. He knew that he was making Luke suffer for something that had been over for almost five years. Plus he was with Shawn now and he loved him. Why couldn't he just get past the whole love triangle they had fallen into so many years ago?

When Noah didn't say anything or punch him, Reid turned to walk out, but he stopped just short of the door and faced Noah again. He could see that what he had said was finally hitting home for Noah.

"You know, you were so _**damn**_ lucky to have been a part of his life and be loved by him. Don't screw that up."

"OH! And you're not lucky?" Noah asked with disgust heavy in his voice. Why couldn't he just let this go and not let Reid bother him so much?

Reid crossed the small room and stood in front of the brunette.

"Not to resort to clichés, every day I thank whatever force that brought Luke to me. I have never _**once**_ taken his love for me for granted. As long as I'm being honest, if I had my way, you would never be allowed within fifty feet of Luke, but I would never hurt Luke like that. His happiness is all that I want and for some reason, he still cares about you. Think about it before you talk to him again," Reid turned and left Noah in the storeroom. Noah leaned against the metal shelving and let out a long breath.

* * *

Reid walked out onto the patio and saw that Luke had not moved. He knew that whatever he and Noah had been talking about, Luke would take the blame for it all. Beating himself up and running the conversation over and over in his head. He slowly walked up to his boyfriend and sat down next to him. Luke looked up and saw Reid smiling softly; leaning forward with his forearms resting on his knees.

"You saw that did ya'?"

"Just the ending. So, what do you want to do now?" Reid asked and then pulled Luke's hand into his. He brushed his thumb across the back of Luke's hand.

"I'm tired. Can we get out of here?" Luke voice demonstrated just how tired he was. Reid stood and pulled Luke to his feet. Luke's arms immediately went around Reid's waist and his head rested against his chest. Reid could feel his heart squeeze a little when Luke's trembling body was flush against his.

"We can do whatever you want," he answered quietly.

"Katie and Chris are staying at the Lakeview tonight right?" Luke asked and Reid hummed in the affirmative. "I want to go back to Katie's, take a shower, and crawl into bed,"

"That is the best idea I have heard all week," Reid lightly kissed the top of Luke's head and tightened his hold on the blonde. They walked back into the ballroom and searched out Katie and Chris, making sure to say goodbye.

* * *

Noah came out of the storeroom and walked out on the patio. The place he left Luke was now filled with three little girls playing with balloons. He looked about the patio and Luke was not outside anymore. He went back into the ballroom and searched over the faces for Luke. He saw all of the people he had come to love when he lived in Oakdale. Lily and Holden, Jack and Carly, Casey and Alison, Katie and Chris, but no Luke. Margo bumped into him as he walked around the dance floor.

"Oh, sorry Noah."

"That's all right. Uh, Margo, have you seen Luke?"

"Yeah, he said goodnight. I think they just left."

He felt his stomach drop when realized that he had indeed screwed things up again. The next thing he felt was two arms wrap around his waist and was then pulled back into a broad chest. He hummed lightly and his head dropped back on Shawn's shoulder.

"Are you ready to go back to our room?"

"Yeah, let's go."

Noah could feel the heat from Shawn's body, but his mind drifted towards Luke. He hoped that he would not have to wait another two years before he was able to fix things with Luke.

If only Noah knew what going to happen in exactly 14 months, 21 days, and twelve hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, did you hate it? Let me know. I love the feedback.  
> Hit review and drop me a line!
> 
> Next Time on Time to Say Goodbye - Truths come to light and the boys finally, truly hash this out. For good.  
> Stay Tuned! Still a lot of story to tell.


	33. A Pair of Calls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3/14/18  
> \- OK, I think some readers are getting antsy for my twist. So, I'm going to speed up my posting.  
> \- Chapter 33 is short so I'm posting two chapters and my twist tonight.

Luke was sitting in his office when the call came. It was a warm fall day and he had all the windows open in the apartment. He loved the weather this time of year and took advantage whenever he could. He was even known to curl up in blanket with the windows wide open, just taking in the sounds and smells. It was probably his country upbringing; he craved that unspoiled country air. He had just finished some much needed revisions and was going to shop for books on his Kindle. The damn e-book had become an obsession of his. Substituting drinking for e-reading. As the phone rang, he dreaded answering it. He was so enjoying his uninterrupted day. "If I ignore it, it will go away", he thought to himself, but it continued to ring.

"UGH!" He called out the empty room. He grabbed the receiver and put it to his ear.

"Luke Snyder. Dad? Hey what's… When?" Luke voice caught in his chest. "Yeah, I'll catch a flight out in the morning. How's Meg? Uh huh. And the kids? Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow afternoon. I love you too dad. All right. Bye," Luke hung up the phone.

It felt like part of his life had just collapsed in on itself.

* * *

Noah was weighed down with a 20lb bag of dog food and his groceries when he heard his phone ring. He ran down the hall that led to the front door of his apartment. After fumbling for his keys, he finally got the door open. The bag of food hit the floor and he jumped over it to reach the phone, but of course it stopped the second he touched it.

"Brando! Get back!" Noah fussed as he pulled his Australian Shepherd away from the bag. His calico colored friend fought him a little but then gave up and trotted back into the living room. Noah watched him curl up on his dog bed as he righted the bag and then looked at the caller id. The number that rang through as 'unknown'. "Great. All that for a telemarketer," Noah thought to himself. He took his grocery bags into the kitchen and started to put them away. His cell rang next. He sprinted across the kitchen and grabbed his jacket. Fishing out his phone, he read the display and knew that number.

"Hey Lily. Did you just try calling? I was just coming home... What?" Noah asked, in near shock. "Oh my God. How is everyone? How's Holden? Yeah, I'll check in with work and I'll try to get a flight out tomorrow afternoon. Tell everyone I'm so sorry. Ok. I love you too. Bye."

Noah closed his cell and he could feel the tears fall down his cheeks. His body collapsed into one of his kitchen chairs and his first thought was…

"Oh, Emma,"

* * *

Holden was in the barn, trying to distract himself. His farm chores always seemed to do that. He was so concentrated on doing them that his mind didn't think about anything. But not today. Today was very different.

He looked up at the house and realized that his mother was gone. The stalwart woman that managed to handle every single challenge in her life was gone. Holden knew that this day would come but the suddenness of her passing was almost too much. She was so ingrained into the lives of everyone in the community. How were any of them going to get past this?

Holden shook off that thought for now and went back to the hay bales that needed his attention.

Luke parked his car next to his dad's truck and turned off the engine. He didn't want to move. He knew that the second he saw his dad that all of this was real. He could pretend that his grandma was still alive. That she was in her kitchen making her famous oatmeal cookies. Or that she was at the church with her quilting club. He had a dozen different scenarios that he could delude himself into believing, but that would all be gone the moment he looked into his dad's eyes. Holden Snyder had a terrible poker face. He wore his emotions all over his face for everyone to see. A person knew when he was angry, or curious, or sad. And Luke knew he would be able to see it painted all over his face.

Luke stepped out of the car and he could hear someone was in the barn. He slowly entered and watched his dad. He was stacking bales in the back of the barn and Luke knew that he would then be filling the horses' stalls. Luke could tell by the way his shoulders were drooped and how his groaned with every movement that he was tired.

Holden looked over his shoulder when he felt someone watching him. There was his son, standing in the doorway. Holden shucked off his gloves and walked towards him. Luke entered the barn and they met in a hug. Holden was so glad that Luke was home; almost as much as Luke was to be home.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come yesterday. I got on the first flight I could," Luke said and his dad just tighten his hold around his shoulders.

"I'm just glad you're here."

"Me too," Luke sniffled and buried his face into his dad's shoulder. After a few more moments, Luke stepped back and wiped his eyes on the back of his jacket sleeve. Holden gripped Luke's shoulder and let out a long breath. "Where are the kids?"

"They're at home. Your mom is with them."

"Where's ah, where's grandma?" Luke asked and Holden could see fresh tears in his son's eyes.

"She was taken to Hantage Funeral Home. David said that he would take care of her himself."

"That's good. That's good. He did a good job with Brad's funeral. Do you need anything?" Luke asked his dad. Holden looked around at the barn and knew at his current rate, it would take him forever to finish.

"Well, if you don't mind getting a little dirty, I could use some help in here."

The two men exchanged smiles and Luke slipped his jacket off. He hung it behind them and pushed up the sleeves of his undershirt. Holden handed Luke a spare set of gloves and they dug into moving the remaining hay bales.

* * *

Noah pulled up to the Lily's and stepped out of his car. He walked up to house and wiped his sweaty palms on his thighs. He was nervous; only because he wasn't sure what to say. He was never good at this; at least that what he thought. The only family that passed away was his mom and he never knew her. He didn't know what he was going to say. He just knew that he needed to be here. He raised his shaking hand and knocked on the door. He could see someone moving around inside followed by the deadbolt sliding and then the door opened. Standing just over the threshold was Ethan. He was wearing his Spiderman pj's and his hair was going every which direction. He stepped to Noah and the tall brunette knew what to do.

"Yeah buddy," Noah said as he slipped his hands under Ethan arms and lifted him up. Ethan wrapped his arms around Noah's shoulders and hugged him. Even though Ethan would say he was too big for hugs, "Nine year olds don't hug!", but right now this felt good. The whole house was sad. His mom had been crying since yesterday, his dad was real quiet, and Natalie hadn't said anything since last night. It felt good to take comfort from the man that he saw as another older brother. Noah pulled back slightly and rubbed Ethan's back. "Where's your mom?"

"She's in the kitchen," he answered in a quiet voice and pointed towards the closed kitchen door.

"Ok. Why don't you go into the TV room and watch some cartoons. I'll be in a little while, ok?" Noah put Ethan down and the little boy walked down the hall. Noah let out a breath and poked his head into the kitchen.

Lily was standing at the kitchen sink with the water running full blast. He could see her shoulders were shaking and she was using the water to disguise her sobs. He softly touched her back and she looked over her shoulder. She gasped and pulled the young man into a hug.

"I called into work and I managed to get a flight earlier than I thought I could. I am so sorry."

"I am so glad that you're here," she said into Noah's shoulder. He softly rubbed the length of her spine, hoping to calm her.

"What happened?" Noah asked as they stepped back from each other.

* * *

"It was her heart. It just gave out on her," Holden relayed to Luke. They had finished the chores and were now looking out over the back pasture. They waited as the horses grazed on the tall grass. Luke looked at his dad's profile while Holden stared at the land in front of him. Luke leaned his back against the wooden fence, kicking at the dirt under his feet while Holden leaned heavily on the weathered wood, his arms draped over the top.

"Was it, ah, I mean did she…," Luke could not get out his question, but Holden knew what he was trying to ask.

"No. The doctor says she was most likely asleep when it happened. She laid down for her afternoon nap in the parlor and just didn't wake up."

"I wish I had been here," Luke mumbled to himself, his dad barely hearing him.

"It wouldn't have made a difference. She had been ailing for awhile now," Luke heard the words, but couldn't quite understand what he heard. Why hadn't anyone ever said anything to him? He talked to his mom every other Sunday and she never told him that his grandma was…

"Why didn't anyone say anything?"

"Luke, you have your own life. You have your work in Austin. She would have never let you drop everything and run back home. Besides, she asked me not to tell anyone."

"I just wish I had known something. I would have tried to be home more."

"Me too. I just feel awful for Natalie,"

"Why?"

* * *

"Natalie found her. She had just passed her driving test that afternoon and was going over to show her. Emma was lying on the couch in the parlor. She had passed some time after breakfast," Lily said as she turned her coffee mug back and forth in her hands. Noah had finally convinced her to sit down, but Lily insisted on making him some coffee first. "She called me. Hearing her sobbing into the phone…I don't think I will ever be able to forget her voice," Noah reached out and lightly rubbed her forearm. He needed to see Natalie. He didn't want her to face this alone. He told Lily that was going to check in Natalie and slipped upstairs.

Noah lightly tapped on Natalie's door. He didn't hear her say anything, but he did hear quiet crying. He was surprised to see the door was not locked. He slowly opened the door and called to her.

"Natalie? It's Noah, can I come in?" She didn't answer, but Noah didn't hear a no. He peeked in and saw Natalie sitting on her bed. Her knees pulled up to chin and a pillow squeezed within an inch of its life between her thighs and her chest. He could see that her eyes were red and her makeup from yesterday had run down her cheeks. Even though she was 16 now, he still saw the little eight year old he met when he and Luke had started dating. He softly shut the door and looked about the room.

He could see that she was definitely the girly-girl that he remembered. The room was wall to wall pink with amble helpings of purple and dark blue. The walls were covered with posters and cut-outs of various rock bands and teen boys that he didn't recognize. He suddenly had a flash of her and Faith dragging him to see the first Twilight movie and how much he groaned about it to Luke afterward. There was music playing from her computer and the windows were open. He felt goose bumps travel up his arms when a cold breeze came through the room. He kept his steps soft and slow as he walked over the window and closed it. Natalie didn't say anything as he did this; she never even looked up at him.

"How ya doing ladybug?" He asked as he sat down at the foot of her bed. He knew that she was upset and he didn't want to crowd her out. He lightly rubbed her shin, hoping to get some kind of reaction out of her. "Are you going to talk to me?" He waited a beat; hoping for her to at least look at him. "No. How about I talk then? Ok? Let's see, oh. I got a dog. I named him Brando. The lady at the kennel said he was perfect for an apartment, but I think he dreams of open fields and chasing rabbits. How do I know this? Well, I'll tell you. When he sleeps, his feet move like he's running and when he finally wakes up, he looks at me and he seems really disappointed. I'll have to post some pictures to my Facebook page so you can see him. He has one blue eye and one brown. You would really like him. Oh, what else? Let me see…,"

"I found her," her voice was so quiet Noah almost didn't hear her.

"I know. Your mom told me."

"She was lying on the couch in the parlor. She looked like she was sleeping. I reached out to lightly wake her, but she…she wou…she wouldn't wake up," she barely finished her sentence before the sobs overtook her voice.

"I know sweetie. Come here," he whispered and pulled the young girl to him. She wrapped her arms around his body and buried her face in his chest. Noah tucked her head under his chin and enfolded her in his arms. He made wide soothing circles over her back. She let the anguish come and Noah didn't try to stop her. As Natalie got older, her and Emma got closer. They had become allies in the feuds that Holden and Lily frequently got into. Emma was the one to find out a new crush or about a fight with a BFF. Natalie would often spend more time at the farm then at her house. When she passed her test, Emma was the first one she wanted to tell. Natalie felt so lost right now, but she was glad that Noah had come home.

At that exact moment so was he.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, whatta think? Were ya surprised?  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - A meal and memories shared.  
> Stay Tuned!


	34. Reality of the Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3/14/18  
> \- OK, I think some readers are getting antsy for my twist. So, I'm going to speed up my posting.  
> \- Chapter 33 and 34 are short so I'm posting two chapters and my twist tonight.

Luke and Holden entered the mansion just as Lily came out of the kitchen. They met in the middle of the living room in a tight hug. Lily felt so relieved to have Luke and Noah both home. To have all of her kids in one town set her mind at ease, at least a little. She felt her heart heal just a bit.

"Luke!" Luke looked over his mom's shoulder and saw Ethan coming into the living room from the hall. He ran full speed and jumped into Luke's arms. Luke pulled his brother to his chest and held him tight. Luke felt a swell of calm spread through his chest when Ethan dropped his head onto his shoulder. He looked to Lily and saw the tears that wanted to come from her eyes.

"How ya doing buddy?"

"I missed you," he simply said. Luke smiled and lightly laughed at the innocence of youth. Ethan said whatever was on his mind.

"I missed you too little man. Where's Natalie?" Luke asked his mom as he set Ethan back down on his feet. Ethan was quickly scooped by his father. Luke watched his little brother lay his head on Holden's shoulder and he begun to suck this thumb. He hadn't done that in years. Luke could feel how upset he was by looking at him.

"She's in her room with Noah."

"Noah's here?" Luke asked and his voice cracked slightly. _Where did that come? And did anyone else hear it?_

"Yeah. He got here about two hours ago. He's been up with her almost the entire time." Lily answered Luke and lightly rubbed Ethan's back. All of her children loved Emma so much, this was going to be hard all of them; her included.

"I'm gonna…," Luke said as he gestured toward the stairs. He took them two at a time, but his egress slowed when he could hear Noah and Natalie talking.

"I miss her," Natalie sniffled. Luke's heart broke when he heard the pain in his baby sister's voice.

"I know sweetie. I do too," Noah said in a soft voice.

Luke stood outside of Natalie's door, listening to them talk.

"You know, I was about your age when I found out that my mom died," Noah relayed to her, pushing back the pain that was still in his heart over his mother's murder.

"You never really knew her, right?"

"No. I have bits of memories but nothing specific."

"That would be better than this. Not knowing what I'm gonna miss," Natalie sniffled.

"I used to think that, but I gotta tell ya', knowing your grandma for only seven years, I wouldn't want to give up those memories for anything," Noah said and brushed her hair behind her ear. Luke knocked lightly on the door and slowly eased it open. He stood just inside the door and both of them turned to look at Luke.

"Hey Nat."

"Luke!" She exclaimed as she jumped off the bed and bounded toward Luke. She wrapped her arms around his torso and buried her face in his neck. Luke closed his eyes, trying to keep his tears at bay, while Natalie sniffled softly against his shirt.

"You smell like the barn," Natalie said with a laugh as she pulled away.

"Yeah, I was helping dad with some chores."

"Is dad here?"

"Yeah, he's with mom, I think in the kitchen," Luke had no sooner finished his sentence and she was out of her room and running down the stairs; leaving Luke and Noah alone.

"I'm glad you're here…"

"I came as soon as I…," they said as the time. Luke decided to move first. He stepped towards Noah and pulled him into a hug. Noah's arms wrapped around Luke on instinct; like muscle memory. They knew Luke's body and wanted to be around him.

"Thanks for coming," Luke said, his voice heavy with grief.

"She's my family too. Where else would I be?"

"Yeah," Luke loosened his hold and stepped back, his hands slipping into Noah's.

"I think my mom is going to get some kind of dinner together. Come and eat."

"Ok," Noah said softly and they went down stairs. Lily and Holden were warming up some of the food that neighbors had been bringing over all day. Natalie was sitting at the table with Ethan, playing with a couple of his toys. Luke and Noah entered the kitchen just as Faith came in the back door. She looked so tired, about as tired as everyone else felt. Hugs were shared between Noah and Holden and Faith with everyone else. An odd collection of food was laid out for them.

They sat down at the dining room table, said grace, and shared stories about Emma. Holden had the kids rolling as he relayed stories of his and Lily's courtship as teenagers and how Emma handled all of it. Luke made sure to include all of the fun Halloween and Christmas celebrations he had at the farm before they were born. It was nice. They were all there for each other. Laughing through all the pain that they'd felt the last two days. They all knew what was coming.

The service and the reception afterwards.

They were going to have a lot to deal with, but right now…it felt easy and effortless. They would think about tomorrow _**tomorrow**_.

That night was the first night in forever that no one slept at the farm. The doors were locked and the windows were shut. Not one of her family had the heart to sleep there. It was just too painful to be there knowing that Emma wouldn't be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - The twist.  
> Stay Tuned!


	35. THE THIRD ACT TWIST!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3/14/18  
> \- OK, I think some readers are getting antsy for my twist. So, I'm going to speed up my posting.  
> \- Chapter 33 and 34 are short so I'm posting two chapters and my twist tonight.

Well I said that I had a surprise for you and indeed I do.

**3...**

**2...**

**1!**

**SURPRISE! THERE ARE TWO ENDINGS! I HAVE TO THANK KTKINS ON THE LURE FANFICTION FORUM FOR THIS LITTLE TWIST.**

Now, I know some of you might be thinking that I caved to pressure from one camp or the other, but that is truly not accurate. I _**hate,** **hate,** **hate,**_ giving away any part of my endings, but I think that I will make an exception in this case.

The more I wrote this the more I wanted to end it both ways. I am a shipper of both Lure and Nuke and I wanted to see my story both ways and share it with all of you.

So, how will this play out…

I will post two chapters and they will be labeled. I will _**not**_ post one without posting the other. Nuke will be even chapters and Lure will be the odd chapters.

 

I hope you guys like what is going to come!

I wonder which chapters will get more hits. ;p

Thanks!

Stay Tuned!

Bea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Emma's Service and candid conversation.  
> Stay Tuned!


	36. Strength from Lost Places (Nuke)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is chapter 35 of the Nuke Storyline.  
> Enjoy!

The visitation went by effortlessly. David and his staff at the funeral home had taken care of all of the details. There were Oriental Lilies in various colors, deep purple Lilacs, and Blue Girl Tea Roses in the softest shade of lavender. If it wasn't a somber occasion, people would have commented on how beautiful everything looked and how wonderful it smelled. There was Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra playing softly in the background. All of Emma's favorites were surrounding all of her favorite people. The adult Snyders were spread out around the room chatting with mourners while the kids were quietly playing in another room.

There was so much sadness in one place it sometimes felt like there was no air in the room. Luke was just drifting from conversation to conversation. He felt rudderless. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He needed to breathe. He quietly slipped through the room and out into the back parking lot. The cool air hit his face and his stomach twisted. He took in long shallow breaths, trying to calm his stomach and cool his warmed skin. He didn't want any more condolences or sympathies. He wanted to be away from this place. He sat down on the curb and stretched his forearms over his drawn up knees. Luke didn't know how long he sat there until he was had company.

"I was looking for you," Noah said as he sat down next the blonde.

"I was trying to not be found."

"How are you…,"

"Don't ask me that. I'm not anything right now."

"Ok," Noah swallowed hard and kept his mouth shut. He wanted to tell Luke that he was sorry, that he was going to miss Emma too, that things would get better, there were so many things that he wanted to say, but his voice wouldn't work. Luke was always guarded when he got angry and Noah could tell that he was angry right now. But Noah was not sure where it was coming from or where it was going.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's ok. I understand. Remember when my dad died, I was angry for a while, its part of the grieving process. It happens to everybody," Noah said in a reassuring voice, trying to help Luke calm himself. Luke nodded and looked at his former love. He was leaning back on his hands and his feet were stretched out in front of him. Luke could tell that he was uncomfortable, from the way he was sitting and the mood around them, but it was sweet that he was sitting with him.

"So, where's Oliver?" Noah asked and wished he didn't. He still couldn't shake this sick feeling of jealousy in his stomach whenever he thought about Reid Oliver. Even after all these years, it was still there and he couldn't understand why.

"Oh, ah, we're not um…," Luke hedged around his answer.

"Really? When, if you don't mind me asking," he sat up and moved a little closer to Luke.

"It's ok. About a year ago," Luke said and picked at some small pebbles from under his feet. He tossed a couple across the lot and watched them skip under a car. Noah let him sit and he knew Luke, he just needed time and he would talk. "He got a Head of Neurology position in Austin. Better hospital, bigger budget. I was hesitant to move, I loved Dallas, but this opportunity was too good to pass up. We moved just before Katie's wedding. Everything was great at first. He was always working and I was always working. We kind of became roommates. It sounds clichéd, but we just grew apart. We were sitting at dinner one night and we both just knew. Nothing hurtful, no betrayals, just the end."

"And now?"

"He's actually seeing a nice pediatrician. Sam Houston," Luke said and saw Noah's raised eyebrow. "I swear, that's his name," and Luke laughed. It felt good and Noah loved the sound of it. It had been a while since he last heard it.

"That's great for Reid, but what about you?" Noah hoped that he wasn't overstepping. He could see that Luke's cheeks were a little flushed. Was he blushing or was it the cool air?

"No one regular. What about you? What have you been up to?"

"I've been working with a few relief organizations right now in Boston and New York."

"Have you given up your dreams of filming the next great blockbuster?" Luke teased; pumping his shoulder against Noah's. Noah smiled and a light blush came to his cheeks.

"No," Noah answered laughing. "I've moved them to the back burner for now. What I'm doing now is so fulfilling. I can't imagine doing anything else," Noah was almost beaming. Luke looked at him and he saw that 19 year old guy that he met forever ago. He had that sparkle. It had been a while since he's last seen it.

"Luke?" Luke and Noah looked over their respective shoulders. Lily was standing behind him, holding a sleeping Ethan. Luke got to his feet and took his brother from his mother's arms. "Everyone has left. I'm going to take the girls home with me and your dad. Can you take Ethan with you?"

"Sure," Luke said and Ethan rested his head against Luke's shoulder. He may be nine now, but he was still his little brother.

"Noah you're more than welcome to come home with us."

Luke and Noah shared a quick glance, but he declined Lily's offer.

"That's ok Lily. I still have my room at the Lakeview. But thank you," Noah wanted to say yes and spend time with his "adoptive" family, but he didn't want to reinsert himself into Luke's life so quickly.

"Thank you for coming Noah," Lily said and then stepped to give Noah a hug. He held her for a moment; feeling the motherly love that he had missed. Lily pulled away and walked back inside. Noah was nervous; he stuck his hands in his pockets and turned to face Luke.

"Do you want me to come over before the service? I could come by the house and ride over with you, if that's ok?" He quietly asked. He was hedging around the subject. He wanted to be there for his surrogate family and more importantly for Luke. But he didn't want to push himself in if wasn't welcomed.

"My mom would really like that. The funeral is at one, so about eleven?"

"Yeah. At the farm?" Noah asked and Luke nodded. Noah lightly brushed Ethan's hair of his face and softly smiled at the young Snyder. Luke smiled at Noah then shifted Ethan in his arms and walked towards his car. Lily may like it if Noah was at the house tomorrow, but Noah wondered how Luke would like it.

* * *

Noah woke up just before dawn as always, but it wasn't like he had gotten any sleep the previous eight hours. He would doze off every thirty minutes or so, without really falling asleep. It was hard for him, it was probably impossible for Luke. Noah thought a run would do him some good. He slipped on his running shoes, grabbed his iPod and ran out into the cool fall morning. He covered the places that had been his old stomping grounds when he lived in Oakdale nearly five years before. He passed Oakdale University, dark and quiet before the morning classes woke the place. He went passed Al's, Henry already working and serving the early birds. He continued through Olde Towne and stopped just outside Java. Noah laughed at the number of hours he wasted in there. He had to confess, when he was working, most of the time he really wasn't working. He came to a stop in the small square in the middle of Olde Towne. He sat down on their bench. He took his iPod out of his sweatshirt pocket and scrolled through the playlists, looking for **_the_** song. He found the one he was thinking about and hesitated before choosing it. His thumb tapped the screen and the song slowly started.

 _I'll sing it one last time for you_  
Then we really have to go  
You've been the only thing that's right  
In all I've done

_And I can barely look at you_   
_But every single time I do_   
_I know we'll make it anywhere_   
_Away from here_

Noah remembered this song all too well. They danced to this during their ill-fated New Year's celebration. As much as that night did not turn how he wanted, this song always reminded Noah of them and their relationship.

 _To think I might not see those eyes_  
Makes it so hard not to cry  
And as we say our long goodbye  
I nearly do

_Light up, light up_   
_As if you have a choice_   
_Even if you cannot hear my voice_   
_I'll be right beside you dear_

He was lost in the lyrics and watched as the sun rose over the still sleeping town. At this time of day in Boston, there were thousands out and about starting their days. But here…he was just enjoying the morning, being the only one around.

* * *

At 10:53 am, Noah walked up to house at Snyder farm and wiped his hands on his thighs. God help him he was nervous. He opened the screen door and heard the soft conversations inside. He stepped into the kitchen and saw several Snyder adults around the table and a few more at the island.

"Noah, I'm glad you're here," Lily said and gave Noah a hug. He gladly accepted and stepped farther inside. Jack and Holden were at the table with Carly, Faith, and Parker. Luke was at the island pouring himself a cup of coffee. Meg was just walking inside the kitchen as he moved closer to Luke.

"Are we ready?" Meg asked the room. They all looked at each other and agreed now was the time. The young kids were rounded up and everyone split into separate cars. Noah rode with Luke, Lily, Holden, the girls and Ethan. Ethan sat in Noah lap and they thumb wrestled on the way there. The ride was quiet and Luke observed Noah with his little brother. He seemed so relaxed in his own skin. Much more than he was when they were together. It made Luke happy that Noah seemed more confident in who he was now. It seemed like Shawn was having a nice affect on him.

The church was simply decorated. Flowers up and around the altar from places and people that all loved Emma. The organist was playing a quiet tune that gave an already peaceful place an even lighter air. The casket was sitting at the front of the church and Luke's feet felt like lead weights. He couldn't get his feet to move. They were all going to pay their respects privately before the funeral started. Holden and Lily were at her casket, quietly saying goodbye, but Luke couldn't move. He felt a warm body stand just behind him. Luke knew who it was, but looked over his shoulder to prove himself right.

"Luke?"

"I, ah…," Luke's mouth had betrayed him as well.

"Come on. You can do this," Noah said softly into his ear. Noah stepped to his left and slipped his hand into Luke's. Instinctively Luke laced the fingers of his left hand into Noah right. He felt a surge course through as their palms met, like connecting a battery. They walked up to the casket and looked down at the peaceful Emma. Her hair was impeccable and she was wearing her favorite blue dress with her favorite red sweater over the top. He didn't know if he should talk to her, or if he could touch her, or anything. This was the first time anyone he was really close to who died. He just couldn't imagine what being without her would mean. Noah squeezed his hand and pulled Luke out of his thoughts.

"It's ok. I'm right here."

"That goes for you too," Luke assured Noah and the brunette smiled at the blonde. The minster came into the church a few minutes later and asked the family to join him in one of the private rooms. The assembled Snyders followed the minster down stairs and waited for the funeral to start. Luke held tight to Noah's hand and didn't let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, how'd I do? Hit review and let me know!  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Emma's Funeral and a surprise guest.  
> Thanks for stopping by!  
> Stay Tuned!


	37. Strength in Numbers (Lure)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is chapter 35 of the Lure Storyline.  
> Enjoy!

The next morning Luke and Noah went with Holden to do chores. Holden still wasn't quite himself and he had a lot to do with Emma's visitation that night. The sooner the chores were done, the quicker he could deal with honoring his mother. He needed to make sure there was enough food, that the florist knew where to take the flowers, and he had finally secured the pallbearers for the funeral. He had a running list in his head and as soon as he managed to check two things off, four more would take its place. How did his mother manage to do this for his father when she was so young?

"Dad? Dad, are you ok?" Luke said. Holden looked up from his pitchfork and saw his son with a concerned look on his face.

"Of course, why?"

"You're crying dad," Luke whispered so only they heard it. Luke glanced over his shoulder and saw Noah was still busy shoveling out on the horse stalls. "Come on," Luke took his dad's arm and directed him out into the morning air. They were standing behind the barn in the horse exercise ring. They were away from prying eyes. Luke knew how important strength was to his dad. He also knew that he wouldn't want anyone to see him like this. Holden drew a deep breath and dropped his head back. He could feel the cool breeze and the warm sun on his face.

"Thank you," he said in a rather grave voice.

"You don't need to thank me. Do you need anything?" Luke asked, rubbing his dad's back in quiet support. He hadn't seen his dad this upset since…well, when he got sick or when Ethan fell down the well or when he got shot. Holden only got this upset when he felt hopeless. His dad was always to protector, the one to lead the way, and now he was feeling lost like a ship without its rudder. His head dropped into his hands and Luke could hear shaky breaths leave him.

"I'll be fine Luke. I am just so glad that you're here. I hate that something like this has to happen for me to realize now how important family is. You, the kids, your mother, you guys are my family and I am so lucky to have all of you here."

"I love you dad."

"I love you too," Holden said and pulled his son into a hug. They stepped away from each other and went back to the chores. Holden felt like a bit of the pressure and weight that he had been carrying around had lifted. He had his family and he was not alone in this.

Lily and Faith went to getting the house ready. Carly and Janet were going to meet them there. They needed to get the house up to Emma's standards for the visitors and family. Lily knew that it would take all four of them to get the house to how Emma could get it all by herself. Lily never told anyone, not even Holden, but Emma intimidated her. Maybe not in the same way that Lucinda was intimidating, but in her own way. When Lily and Holden had decided to get married, she was terrified. Emma made it look so effortless. She could manage a house full of family, feed them all, keep all the kids occupied, and without breaking a sweat. Lily was petrified, how would she be able to live up to that? As the years went by and they grew closer, that feeling of fear bled away, but deep down she still hung on to that sliver of fear. Now that Emma was gone, Lily was not going to fear her memory but use it as inspiration. She promised Emma and herself, that she would work that much harder to be a better mother for her kids and wife for her husband. She knew it would be what Emma would have wanted.

* * *

Natalie came out to the farm later in the afternoon and went out to the barn first. She saw Luke, Noah, and her dad busy getting the barn and yard ready for guests. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her pull-over _Oakdale High_ sweatshirt and walked over to her favorite horse's stall. It was a Snyder tradition, when you turned 13 you got to pick out your first horse. Hannah was Natalie's horse. She remembered getting teased mercilessly for naming her horse after _Hannah Montana_ , but she didn't care. She rubbed Hannah's nose with the back of her hand and the horse nudged her back.

"Hey girl. Sorry I've gone for awhile. I'll never abandon you again. I promise," Natalie whispered and wrapped her arms around Hannah's neck, hugging her body into the tan horse's chest. Hannah dropped her head down slightly, hugging the young girl back. Natalie pulled back and fed some carrots to the mare. Next to Grandma Emma, Hannah was the best listener. She could tell her anything and Hannah would just listen. "The house is really lonely right now. Grandma Emma passed away the other day. I miss her. I don't know what I'm going to do now. She is…was my best friend," Natalie's voice caught in her throat. Natalie was absently rubbing her hand up and down Hannah nose and Hannah was relishing in the attention.

"I miss her too," Natalie looked over her shoulder and saw Faith standing just inside barn door. "We all miss her Natalie. You don't have to be alone right now."

"I found her."

"Yeah, I know. Mom told me," Faith said and softly stepped closer to her baby sister. They were so close in age, but they had drifted apart a long time ago. She stood right next to her and watched her sister. She was so closed off, Faith could see it her face and her body. "I am so sorry."

"I saw her the day before. She told me that she was tired. I should have…I could have…"

"It is not your fault!" Faith grabbed her little sister and pulled her to face her. "Can you hear me? You could not have known. No one blames you and you shouldn't either. We all love you and Em would be heartbroken to see you so upset. I know with everything that I am that it is _**not**_ your fault. Natalie?" Faith cupped her sister's face and pulled her gaze to meet hers. She watched the tears break the edges of Natalie's eyes and the young girl let go. Faith could feel her let the guilt go. Natalie always was the most sensitive of all the Snyder kids. She internalized everything and felt everyone's pain. She was unselfish and was always there for everyone else. It made so much sense that she would blame herself. Faith pulled her sister into a hug and made soft hushing sounds. She rocked her from side to side, mirroring what her mom did to sooth her as a girl. She let Natalie have her grief and let her cry it out.

After about fifteen minutes, Faith pulled away and looked down slightly at her baby sister. She brushed the tears away with her thumbs and pulled her hair off her shoulders.

"Ok, how about this? JJ and Parker just started working on Grandma's picture boards for the visitation. Wanna help?" Faith suggested, hoping that it would help her. Natalie sniffed the remaining tears away and nodded. "Ok. Come on. It's getting cold out here," Faith wrapped her arm around Natalie's shoulders and they walked into the house.

* * *

The sun was beginning to set and everyone was making their way to the funeral home. Luke and Noah were the only ones left to shower. Holden and Lily went early to finish setting up and Natalie went with. Luke was sitting on the porch finishing another cup of coffee watching the sun set and the pant the sky a deep purple. Noah sat down beside Luke and silence spread over them. They were always able to sit with each other not have to say anything at all. Luke could smell that Noah had showered. He smelled of Irish Spring soap and aftershave. Noah always did smell good.

"So, is Reid coming?" Noah asked a fairly safe question.

"I tried calling him. I don't know," Luke said softly, looking down in his coffee cup.

No sooner than the words left his mouth, did the two men hear the sound of a car peeling up the Snyder driveway. They could hear rocks and pebbles flying as well as an engine accelerating. Luke and Noah shared a quick look and stood to see what was going on. The car swung fast around the back of Luke's car and slid to a stop parallel to the house. Luke knew who it was.

Reid was out of the car and running towards the house before it had fully powered down; driver's side door left open. Luke opened the screen door and Reid pulled his body to him. Luke's arms wrapped around Reid and he buried his face in the older man's neck. Luke could feel heat coming off of Reid and warming him from the inside out. The man was unbelievably warm, like a human furnace. Luke had been feeling cold all day and now he was beginning to feel like himself. Reid could feel Luke let out shaky breaths as he started to run his fingers through the hair at Luke's nape. Luke loved it when he did that; it calmed him like nothing else.

"Luke, I am so sorry that I couldn't get home sooner."

"It's all right," Luke said, slightly muffled by Reid's coat collar. Luke was being selfless again. Trying to make Reid feel less guilty, but it wasn't working. He was not going to let him do that this time.

"No, it's not," he pulled away and took Luke's face in his hands. Reid lightly rubbed away Luke's tears and looked straight into his eyes. "There's a damn pilot's strike in Toronto, so I rented a car and drove. I wish I had been home when you got the call."

"I'm just so glad that you're here now," Luke said and his voice cracked. He was trying to hold it all together. Reid sighed and pulled him back to him. He hated Medical Conferences and he didn't want to go in the first place. Luke told him to go and impress all the other smart people that he was undoubtedly smarter than. It was a five day conference on new Neurological technologies and surgery protocols. Then when Luke called him his second night there and told him about Emma, he knew where he wanted, correction, where he needed to be. Reid could literally hear Luke's heart breaking over the phone and 1600 miles away. As soon as Luke and he hung up that night, Reid was on the phone cancelling his lecture and trying to get a flight back to Austin or to Chicago at least; hoping to meet him. He was screaming at the ticket agents about a death in his family, but was the told thing over and over again there was nothing they could do. The two airlines had pilot strikes and the flights were all booked up. Giving up that he would find anyone to care, he rented the first car that he could and started driving. He only stopped to sleep, eat, and refuel.

Getting to Luke was the only thing he could think about. He needed to be with him. But that need was not only for Luke. Reid was grieving too. He loved Emma like she was his own grandmother. He never really was close to any of his extended family and she was one of the rare members of the Snyder family that accepted him right off.

"Reid!" The two men heard behind them and turned to see Ethan run across the driveway. Ethan jumped at Reid and he caught the young boy mid-jump. Reid relished the feeling of this spontaneous hug from the boy.

"How ya doing little man?"

" 'm kay. Where were you?"

"Doesn't matter. I'm home now though," Reid to the small boy and looked at Luke. Their eyes locked and Luke smiled in response.

"Come on Eth, you have to get ready," Luke said and then rubbed his brother's back lightly. The men walked inside and got ready to face the inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, how'd I do? Hit review and let me know.  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Emma's visitation and a clearing of the air.  
> Stay Tuned!


	38. Hard to Say Goodbye (Nuke)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next installment on the Nuke side of things!  
> Hope you guys like it!  
> Enjoy!

Luke and Noah walked downstairs into the church's basement. They stood near one of the rear doors that led out onto a little garden; their hands still linked together. The smaller kids were playing tag in a side room while the adults sat, quietly chatting. Fall was making its presence known. Luke could see the early afternoon sun shining through the nearly dead garden. The flowers were gone and the grass was losing its greenness. The trees were the only bright spots. The maple trees were a dark shade of red and the elms were bright shades of yellow and orange.

"Grandma loved fall. It was her favorite time of the year. She loved the smells and the colors. She liked getting dressed up and going out into the cool weather. She just loved everything that came with the fall. She told me once that it was hard to mourn the end of trees and the flowers when the colors are so beautiful and bright. That one last shout of life before they go to sleep until spring," Luke was just talking. He really didn't even know what he was saying. It was just words and Noah was just listening. He brushed his thumb across the back of Luke's hand. Luke could feel it, like an anchor keeping him from drifting away. Luke looked up from their joined hands and locked eyes with Noah. He wanted to say something, anything, but was cut off by the minister telling them that things were ready to start.

The organist was playing a soft tune as the Snyder family walked inside. Holden, Lily and their family entered first. Luke was walking inside when he looked to his right and saw a friendly face. There standing next to Casey and Alison was Dr. Reid Oliver. He was wearing a charcoal grey suit and smiled sadly at the younger blonde. Luke felt bottomless love for his dear friend and was glad that he was here. Luke smiled back and continued to the front of the church with his family.

Luke sat between Natalie and Lily with Holden next to her on the end. Ethan wanted to sit next to Noah as did Natalie. The service started and Luke wanted to be anywhere else. He loved his grandma more than anything, but to sit here and hear people talk about her in the past tense…it was almost too much. He wasn't sure he was going to be able to do this. He had to just turn off his heart to make it through this.

The minister talked about Emma's kind soul and giving nature. How she would go out to her way to help anyone in need. He talked about her limitless strength and how she was known to grab her late husband's shot gun a time or two. That got a chuckle out of the assembled crowd.

"Now, I believe one of Emma's grandson's wanted to say a few words," the minister said and Luke's brow furrowed. What was he talking about? Luke was about to lean to ask his dad when Noah walked up to the pulpit.

"It was in some of Emma's papers. She wanted Noah included in the announcements as her grandson," Lily whispered into Luke's ear and he only nodded in response. Emma Snyder always liked when things were decided early. No one knew at the time, but she had made notes on some of the important things, such as the flowers, the music, and that she wanted Noah listed with her other grandchildren. When Lily told Noah that, he was so honored and thought that he needed to honor her back.

"Well, I'm not technically one of Emma's grandson's, but she always made me feel like I was. I met Emma when I was 19 and I felt like I had known her all my life. She just had that way about her," his voice caught in her throat. He inhaled deeply, brushed his tie down his chest, and pushed that grief back. He needed to do this. "She welcomed me into her family without a second thought. I had never had that. It was always just my dad and I growing up. But when I met the Snyders I finally felt like I belonged to a real family. That was what Emma gave me. A home. I may not have been born a Snyder, but I will forever be one. I love you Emma and I'll miss you," he sniffled slightly as he concluded by lovingly touching Emma's casket and then took his seat between the young Snyder children. He wrapped his arm around Natalie's shoulders, drawing her close to his side and Ethan leaned heavily against the other.

Luke felt his heart swell at what Noah did. He had grown so much in the last five years. When they were together Noah never would have gotten up in front of a dozen people let alone 200 and talk about his feelings. The rest of the service, Luke was making side glances at Noah. There was so much he wanted to say, but he didn't know where to start.

* * *

An hour later the family had gone back to the farm for the reception. The hardest part of the day was done and they all could breathe a bit easier. Luke wanted this day to be over with and then tomorrow he could back to Austin. There were almost too many memories here. Most of them were amazing, but there were also others that were just too painful to relive. He was standing outside when he felt someone nudge him softly. He looked over his shoulder and saw Reid standing there. He was glad to see him. He remembered calling him and telling him that Emma had passed. It was one of the worst calls that he had to make.

"Hey," Luke said softly.

"Hey."

"I'm glad that you're here," Luke said as he turned to face the older man.

"I'm glad that you felt you could call me."

Noah was taking a bag of trash to the cans behind the house when he saw them. They were standing near the barn and he could not hear them at all. Even though he had the sudden urge that he wanted to. They were standing about foot apart and they looked so comfortable around each other. There was that jealous tinge again. He knew that they were broken up and that Oliver was seeing someone else, but he still had that protective feeling for Luke. He took in a deep breath and went back into the house.

"So how are you doing?" Reid asked as they started to walk back to the house.

"Not too bad," Luke answered and he could see Reid stop in his tracks and raise his eyebrow. Luke knew that look. "I could never lie to you, could I?"

"Nope," Reid hit the syllable hard and let out a healthy "pop".

"I don't know how I'm supposed to be. What to say."

"You don't have to be or say anything. It takes time. You need to feel whatever you feel. It's healthy."

Luke turned to face Reid as they reached the porch. He smiled and let out a soft laugh.

"You're pretty smart. Anyone ever tell you that?"

Reid pushed his lips together and hummed.

"I've heard that once or twice," Reid teased and opened the door for his friend. Luke walked inside and Reid followed right behind him. They joined the rest of the family and friends in the old farm house. The rest of the evening was filled with stories about Emma and how much everyone was going to miss her. Some tears were shed and many laughs were shared. It was just starting to get dark when the guests were beginning to leave. Holden and Lily took the kids back to the mansion and Jack and Carly took the kids back their house. Soon it was just Luke and Reid standing in the driveway. They stood next to Reid's rental car and the silence spread between them. As much as Reid tried to give the impression that he hated "Oakhell", he felt an unbelievable feeling of peace at Snyder Farm that he never felt anywhere else. Or maybe it was the company.

Luke stepped forward and pulled the older man into a hug. Reid wrapped his arms around Luke and held him close. They both felt calm in that moment; almost content. Reid and Luke pulled out of their embrace, but their hands stayed on the other man. Luke still had a warm feeling in his chest when he looked at Reid. He was glad that it was still there and he hoped that it never went away. Reid had become a huge part of his history and to cast him aside and forget what they were to each other…well, that would not be him. Luke was proud of his friend and wished nothing but happiness.

"Remember that promise we made to each other when I left that day?" Reid asked as they turned to walk towards Reid's rental car. Luke smiled. He remembered and a light laugh came from his chest.

* * *

_Reid had finished packing his things and had brought the last box to his car. They had bought the condo together, but it was too big for Reid's taste to live there alone, plus the neighbors always did like Luke more. He turned to Luke, grabbed him for one more hug, and whispered a promise softly into Luke's ear._

* * *

"Yeah, I remember. 'Never grow old,'" Luke repeated the promise back to Reid.

"Yeah. Never grow old, because I'm going to live forever. And when we're ready for each other, I want to be old with you."

"Why, Dr. Oliver. Are you getting sappy on me?" Luke asked with a sweet smirk.

"Never. And don't tell anyone," he gave Luke a kiss on the cheek and slipped into his car. Luke watched as Reid drove down the drive and turned onto the road. He let out a long breath and looked at his grandma's house. The house had not changed since her death. The house was still white with blue shutters. The flower beds were still immaculate and blooming, despite the lateness of the season. The grass was cut to a fine finish that would make the greens keeper at Wrigley Field jealous. Despite how normal and perfect the house seemed, it also was much sadder now that she was gone. He was dreading going in, knowing that his grandma would not be inside waiting for him with her famous oatmeal cookies. He shook off the tears that wanted to come and entered the quiet house.

* * *

There were dishes stacked in various heights on the counters. Half eaten casseroles, pies, and cakes littered the island. Grandma always said that it wasn't a proper gathering if anyone left hungry or there was a clean dish left. He sniffled back the tears and dug into cleaning the kitchen. Grandma never went to bed with the kitchen in any condition but clean. He wrapped up the leftovers and put them in the fridge. He wasn't sure how he managed to get all of the food put away, but her bottomless fridge seemed to hold it all. He rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt and ran warm water into the sink.

Luke heard the floor squeak behind him and looked over his shoulder; expecting to see his dad. Instead, Noah was standing there. Luke was a little surprised to see him here still. The reception had been over and most everyone else had left.

"Hey. I didn't know anyone else was still here."

"Yeah, I was just wondering around the house. Reliving old memories. It's funny. I have only known this house for less than ten years, and I can't seem to remember much before it."

"Oakdale has a tendency to do that to people," Luke joked and turned back to the dishes.

"I guess so," Noah responded with a laugh and walked deeper into the kitchen. "Need any help?"

"Sure you can start drying," Noah grabbed a towel of the rod on the island and started to wipe the water of each dish. They fell into silence and neither one thought it uncomfortable. Perhaps it was the sounds around them that made it comfortable. The water lapping against the edge of the sink. The hum of the 40 year old fridge. The call of geese flying south for the winter. The elm trees in the yard shaking off fall leaves. Luke didn't even realize he was crying until he felt Noah's warm hand on his back.

"Luke. You don't have to do these now."

"Yeah, Noah, I do. Grandma Em never left her kitchen messy," Luke rubbed his nose with the back of his hand and got back to work. Noah had wiped down all the dishes and started to stack them in the china cabinet. Luke was digging into scrubbing a casserole dish clean; how can Carly screw up macaroni and cheese? Noah turned and could see the last remnants of the setting sun light up Luke's face. Even his profile was a sight to behold. After all these years, Luke could still make Noah's heart beat a bit faster. He needed to talk to Luke and he hoped that he would have the courage to do it.

Noah took a deep breath and set the towel down on the counter.

It was now or never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what do you think?  
> Hit review and let me know.  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Luke and Noah have a real discussion. Five years in the making.  
> Stay Tuned!


	39. Knowing What He Needed (Lure)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey out there you Lure-ians!  
> Here is the next chapter!  
> Hope you guys like it!  
> Enjoy!

An hour later, Reid, Luke, and the rest of the Snyder clan were at Hantage Funeral Home for Emma's visitation. Reid always thought that these things were rather ghoulish. He always knew that when he finally did shuffle off the mortal coil he wanted a simple service and then he wanted to be cremated. He was still trying to work out where he would want to have his ashes spread. Looking at Luke now, he knew that he wanted to be everywhere and anywhere Luke was.

Reid kept a watchful eye on Luke. He watched him interact with his siblings, his extended family and Emma's friends. He was within two paces of Luke at all times during the four hour visitation. He could see Luke bite his lower lip and swallow heavily when someone would talk about how wonderful Emma was. Hearing her being referred to in the past tense was pretty hard to take. He saw Luke fight against crying off and on all night.

At about 7pm, when the last of well wishers left the funeral home, Reid walked up behind Luke and wrapped his arms around his waist. He placed a soft kiss just behind Luke's left ear. He could feel Luke's body relax into his.

"Don't ask me if I'm ok," Luke said in a soft voice.

"Ok. I won't," Reid responded. He released Luke and the blonde turned to face him. He had a quiet haunted look in his eyes. Reid slipped his hands into Luke's.

"Do you need anything?"

"I don't know."

Reid felt his heart bleed for his partner. He had never seen Luke like this.

"Ok. I have an idea. Why don't you go wait for me by the car?" Reid said as he brushed hair behind Luke's left ear. He let his fingers linger softly on his cheek. Luke simply nodded and walked out to the parking lot. Reid watched Luke walk out. His shoulders were slumped and his feet softly shuffled.

He really had never seen Luke like this before.

Reid said his and Luke's goodbyes, had a quick word with Lily and met Luke out at his rental car. Luke was leaning against the passenger side door and his arms were wrapped around his body. Reid got him inside and pulled the car out of the parking lot. As soon as they were under way, Luke wrapped his hands around Reid's right hand, as if he holding on dear life. It was a little awkward to drive with one hand but Reid wasn't about to complain. They arrived at their destination and he was forced to pull his hand from Luke's to get out. As Reid and Luke met on the passenger side of the car, Luke wrapped his arm around Reid's back and leaned into his partner. Reid could feel just how exhausted Luke was.

They walked into the Lakeview. Reid deposited Luke into a chair across from the front desk. He picked up their room keys and they rode the elevator to their room. Luke leaned heavily against Reid's side. Reid wrapped his arm around Luke's shoulders to keep the young blonde on his feet. Luke still had not said anything since the funeral home. Reid opened the door and Luke entered first. Reid flipped the light switch just inside room and closed the door behind him. Luke continued into the room and stopped just beside the bed.

Reid's concern was growing with each passing minute. Luke hadn't said anything in nearly half an hour.

"Are you hungry? Do you want anything from room service?" Reid asked as he nervously fidgeted with the room key. Luke didn't answer him. Now Reid was really starting to worry. He stepped across the room and pulled at Luke's arm; turning Luke to face him. "Hey. Are you ok?" Reid asked without thinking. He pulled up just under Luke's chin; hoping to get his attention.

Luke looked up at the red head and Reid could see tears fall down his cheeks. He could feel Luke shaking. He lightly cupped Luke's face, brushing tears away with his thumbs.

"Oh, baby. It's ok," Reid's voice was soft and he pulled Luke to him. Luke's arms wrapped around Reid's body and he buried his face in the older man's neck. "I got you. It's ok," Reid reassured Luke in a gentle voice. Reid weaved one hand into the hair at the nape of Luke's neck and the other held him tight to his chest. Luke's sobbed into his partner; desperately hanging on to him. Reid left the dam that Luke had carefully constructed to get through this, fall away. Luke's legs slowly failed him and the two men were on the floor, still wrapped around each other. Reid held Luke tight to his chest; rubbing soothing circles on his back. Once Luke's tears slowed and his sobbing stopped, Reid wanted to take care of him. Luke was always looking out for others and making sure that they were all right. Now all Reid wanted was to be sure that Luke was taken care of. Luke was exhausted and barely holding it together.

"Luke, baby. Stand up. I need you to help me," Reid slowly pulled Luke to his feet. Luke was pliable, boneless in Reid's arms. When he got to his feet, he didn't move so Reid directed him to the bed. Luke dropped onto the bed; his feet on the floor. Reid kneeled in front of Luke and pulled off his shoes. Reid undid Luke's tie and pulled it away. Reid then pulled off Luke's suit jacket; Luke still barely moving. He let Reid do all the work. Reid grabbed Luke's tie and jacket and draped them on the high back chair across the room. When Reid turned back, Luke had stripped off his shirt and was pulling his pants off his legs. Not saying anything, Reid tucked Luke into their king size bed. Luke stretched out on his side with his back to Reid. Reid picked up the rest of Luke's clothes and put them with the others. Reid then undressed.

After putting his clothes with Luke's, Reid slid under the blankets and spooned up behind Luke; pulling the blonde tightly against his chest. His right arm wrapped around Luke's torso. Both men were clad only in boxer briefs. If they had been any other time, Reid would have thought this was sexy as hell. Spending the night in a fancy hotel with his gorgeous partner with nothing to interrupt them. No nosy neighbors. No work obligations. But right now both men just relished the feeling of skin against skin. It was reassuring like an anchor in a storm. Luke laced the fingers of his right hand through Reid's to prove that fact. He burrowed himself into Reid's chest. Reid felt Luke's breaths grow shallower and soon the young man was asleep. The gentle breathing also rocked Reid to sleep as well.

* * *

The sun was just beginning to stream through the drawn drapes as Reid slowly awoke. He could see the bedside clock read 6:27am. During the night the two men shifted. Luke was now nuzzled against Reid's side; his left leg nestled between Reid's. Reid lightly drew his fingers through Luke's silky hair; it was just as soothing for Reid as it was for Luke.

"Morning," Luke said in a gravelly voice. Sleep still had a slight hold on the younger man.

"Morning. How did you sleep?" Reid asked; still running his fingers through the blonde strands.

"All right. Better than I had been. I hate sleeping alone," Luke nuzzled deeper into Reid's side and Reid pulled him closer.

"Me too," Reid kissed Luke's hair and pulled him even closer to him, if that was possible. Luke softly kissed Reid's collarbone and looked up at his other half.

"How did you know?"

"What?"

"That I needed to get out of there."

"We've been together for almost five years. "Luke watching" is one of my favorite activities," Reid relayed with a smirk. "I've learned to read your face. I've become fluent in you by now," Reid answered, half joking and half dead serious. What he was telling Luke was the truth. He could see that Luke was just barely holding it together and he knew that if Luke was going to get through today, he needed last night. He needed to release the pressure.

"I love you."

"I love you too Snyder," Luke moved closer and brushed his lips across Reid's. Reid still felt that rush of adrenaline whenever he kissed Luke. Reid could name every biological chemical that rushed through him when they were like this, but Reid didn't care about any of that. He just prayed that that rush never went away.

Luke was laid across Reid's chest, hovering just above him. Luke licked across Reid's lips and he allowed Luke to enter. Luke moved farther over Reid and straddled his thighs; deepening the kiss. Reid's fingers dug into Luke's hips as Luke ground down into Reid; eliciting a moan out of each man. Both men were getting hard as they continued to move against each other. Reid grabbed the blankets and threw them away. The cool air hit their warm skin; Reid saw goose bumps spread across Luke's body, matching his own. Reid sat up and pulled Luke's chest against his. His arms stretched around Luke's back, completely enveloping him.

"Luke. We don't have to do this," Reid softly reassured Luke. He was afraid Luke was just doing this to thank him for last night.

"Sweetie, I'm not doing this out of some sort of gratitude," Luke leaned down and brought his lips just shy of Reid ear. "I want you," he assured him in a husky whisper.

It was as if he had read Reid's mind. Perhaps Luke had become fluent in Reid too. Luke brushed his thumb across Reid's bottom lip, which always made his spine tingle and he dove back in for another kiss. Reid tilted his hips and gently rolled Luke on to his back. Reid wanted this to be about Luke. This had nothing to do with his needs, it was all about Luke. Luke was as selfless as a lover as he was with everything else. Reid was not selfish by any means, but now, in this quiet hotel room, Luke was his only focus.

Reid could hear Luke let out a long sigh as Reid begun to kiss down his body. Luke arched his back and moaned as he felt Reid's fingers reach the waistband of his boxer briefs. Shivers run under his skin and Reid reveled in the noises coming from his partner. Luke loved it when Reid was like this. He moved slowly, but with purpose. Taking his time to make sure that he touched and tasted every bit of Luke's skin that he could; almost as if he was worshiping Luke. Reid knew exactly how to give Luke what he needed and help him forget everything else around them. For at least an hour or two anyway.

* * *

Luke and Reid got to the farm at about 9 am after eating breakfast at the Lakeview. Well, anyone would have considered what Luke was doing "eating breakfast". Reid insisted that Luke at least eat something. Luke managed to get down half of his omelet and a cup of coffee; Reid ate the other half along with Luke's hash browns and all of his own French toast and bacon. Luke was still amazed even after all these years that Reid could eat so much and not show it anywhere. Reid's standard answer, "Being a genius is hard work. I just make it look easy."

When Luke and Reid walked in, Lily and Holden were sitting at the kitchen table drinking some coffee. Noah came into the kitchen carrying a squirming Jacob and being chased by Ethan. Luke and Noah nodded hello and Luke did notice the icy air between Noah and Reid. Luke prayed softly that Reid and Noah would not start a fight today. Luke and Reid joined the blonde's parents at the table a chatted lightly as they waited for the rest of their family to get ready. The rest of the morning went that way with random family members trickling in. Reid sat with them, but apart from them. He still wasn't the best at small talk, but Luke had become quite adept at leaving openings for Reid to join in. His hand was linked to Luke's just under the table. Reid's thumb never stopped brushing the back of Luke's hand. He was Luke's anchor today; grounding him and calming him at the same time.

Before they knew it they were at the church, waiting for the funeral to start. Luke stood with his family with Reid standing just behind him. Luke did not have to physically feel Reid to know he was there. Ever since they started seeing each other, they could just sense when the other was around. Luke could feel Reid even when they weren't touching. When Luke had the realization of this, it scared him. It scared him to be so dependent on another person. What would he do if they ever were separated? A day like today made him think about things like that. He was at his grandma's funeral and all he could think about was what would eventually happen between Reid and him. He knew that he wanted forever with Reid, but nothing lasts forever. What would he do when Reid was gone?

Luke had a dream the night he found out about Emma. He had just gotten off the phone with Reid and was trying to go to sleep. It took several hours before he finally drifted off to sleep and that was when the dream came.

* * *

_He was in Oakdale Memorial and he was waiting for Reid to come back from Bay City of all places. He was talking to Casey when Reid came rushing towards the OR on a gurney, covered in blood. Luke could feel panic and anger flush through his body. He remembered running to Reid side. He looked so pale and fragile. Reid was anything but fragile and to see him like that. Reid told him that he was an organ donor and there was no hope for him. Luke felt like his was being weighed down; like fighting against a strong current. No matter how much he fought, he just got weaker and weaker. And no one was helping Reid, no one was helping them. He was losing Reid and no one was there to help. The drone of the heart monitor was the only thing that Luke could remember vividly. He forgot what he said to Reid and what was said back to him. He forgot what he was wearing and what had caused Reid to end up in the ER. The only thing he could remember was the helpless fear and that constant hum of the Reid's heart flat lining._

He woke up in a cold sweat and gasping for air. He wanted to call Reid back, right then and there, but he thought he was being foolish. It was just a dream, but why couldn't he forget it then?

* * *

Luke was not really paying attention to what the minister was saying. He just could not take his eyes off of Emma's casket. It was deep red mahogany with shining silver fastenings. It was elegant and simple at the same time. The dark wood shined under the warm light from the sun streaming through the church's stained glass windows. The wood looked cool and warm at the same time. The minister spoke highly of Emma's beautiful heart and her giving soul. He spoke of the love she had for her family and friends. He talked about how easy it was to fall in love with Emma and her look at life.

Luke looked down and saw Reid's thumb brushing the back of his hand. Luke decided to concentrate on the soft back and forth on his hand and Reid's smooth skin. He could feel his eyes filling with tears. Reid was trying to keep Luke calm and relaxed. He wondered what he had done in a past life to deserve Reid because he wanted to do it again. He wanted this feeling in his next life.

"If there is anyone who would like to say a few words?" The minister said and stepped back slightly from his pulpit. Luke felt Reid squeeze his hand and stand up. He excused himself past Holden and walked up to the front of the church. Luke was half in shock and half in awe of his partner.

"Some of you know me, ah, my name is Reid and first met Emma when I was dragged to one of the _**famous**_ Snyder family dinners by my partner Luke. She was the first person I met in Oakdale who liked me right off. At first I thought that maybe she was suffering from some kind of psychosis or mental illness," the assembled party laughed softly and Luke could see Reid smile slightly. He continued. "What I didn't know was that was just who Emma was. She was caring, loving, respectful, strong, and an _amazing_ cook. I told her once that if I wasn't taken, I would marry her in a heartbeat. I was included into her family and I am still trying to prove myself worthy of it. It was a privilege to have known her, but it was an honor to be loved by her. An honor that she bestowed on everyone in this room," Reid bowed his head slightly and loving slid his hand across Emma's casket as he walked back to his spot next to Luke. Luke laced his fingers tightly into Reid's and realized that he could never love him more than he did that moment.

* * *

The reception was held at the farm. The day had turned out to be a nice after all, despite the early clouds. The kids were playing in the yard even though their mothers had insisted that they not mess their "church clothes". The adults were mingling in and out of the house. Many of Emma's recipes were being served, from her homemade pies to her famous fried chicken. Of course, the executions of those recipes were nowhere near the caliber of Emma. Reid made a point of not saying it even though he was thinking it.

Luke was sitting on the porch talking to a half-cousin four times removed when Reid walked out to get some air. He had just finished his third helping and wanted to stretch his legs before he went off to get his fourth. A couple little boys, that he was sure were Luke's new uncles or was it brothers, ran past him into the house. He gaze caught a lone figure standing at the top of the hill that lead down to the pond. Reid knew who it was and let out a long breath before his walked to meet him. Noah was standing on the hilltop, looking down at the water as it slowly moved with the light breeze. He heard a crunch of gravel behind him and looked over his shoulder. Reid Oliver was striding up to meet him.

He knew it was coming.

He let out a shaky breath and braced himself.

This was it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what do you guys think?  
> Hit review and let me know!  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Noah and Reid was a conversation, five years in the making.  
> Stay Tuned!


	40. Regrets (Nuke)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here is the next chapter in NukeWorld!  
> ENJOY!

Noah had a question banging around in his head since he got out of his car and walked up to the door at the mansion. It was a question that he had wanted to ask Luke for a long time. It wasn't sure if now was the right time, but he knew that if he didn't ask now, he may never do it. He dried his hands on the hand towel and stepped back behind Luke. He leaned against the butcher block counter and tucked his hands into his pockets. He could feel his entire body shaking he was so nervous. Secretly dreading the answer.

"Why do you think that we didn't make it?" Noah asked and he heard Luke let out a soft breath. He grabbed Noah's discarded towel and dried his own hands before turning to Noah. They were facing each other barely two feet between them. Luke gestured towards the dining table and Noah took the hint to sit down. Luke sat next to him and leaned forward; his forearms resting on his knees.

"I've asked myself the same question. Dozens, er, hundreds of times. At first we were so right together, we just fit you know, we were different sure, but we just seemed to fit, but as time went on, I just…I was tired of feeling guilty all the time. With Ameera, your dad, the election, your accident, I just felt like I was always saying how sorry I was for this or for that. And you were always pushing me away, I just couldn't wait anymore. You didn't want me, then you did, then you didn't again. It was like you wanted me, but at an arm's length or when it was convenient."

"Luke, that's not," Noah started but Luke cut him off.

"Noah, you asked me why I thought it didn't work out. There were moments, sure, when I felt that you loved me, but they got farther and farther apart. It just hurt too much waiting and hoping that maybe today things would be different. That all of this would be over and we could we could finally be us, but each day I'd go to see you or call you and it didn't change.

"I hate to say this and I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm really not, but after you broke up with me, I just stopped caring. Not about you, never about you, you have to know that, but about "us". All of my attempts and been rejected and I just couldn't try anymore. The pain of all of those rejections grew more powerful than the love that was there.

"I didn't stop loving you because I couldn't, but I just gave up on trying to _make_ us work. I mean you have to admit, before we broke up, didn't it feel like we were forcing it. I mean in the beginning it was so easy, we just fit, but those last few months before the end it wasn't natural anymore. At least not for me," Luke said and let out a long breath. He felt like a flood of words came out when Noah asked that simple question, but it really wasn't simple. Luke opened his heart and read the words that he had been hidden there since they broke up all those years ago.

Noah had never really seen it from Luke's side before. Sure he had tried to imagine what Luke was feeling or thinking. And all the times they tried to talk they would end up fighting. Noah had really seen Luke's entire side before. If Luke was feeling all of this and looking back on their interactions before they broke up and after, Noah hadn't been receptive. He blamed Luke for his accident, his blindness, and in the end, their break-up too. He had hurt Noah, neither one was denying that, but Noah never looked past his pain to see Luke's. He could chalk it up to being young, but now he an all new layer of guilt.

Luke lightly rubbed Noah's hand and went back to the dishes. Noah could hear the plates knock at the edges of the sink, the silverware clank against the bottom, and the water slosh back and forth. Neither man spoke for a while. Noah didn't really have a response to all of Luke except one.

"I'm so sorry Luke."

"Hey," Luke said and turned back to face his ex. He leaned against the counter and looked at him. "I didn't tell you all of that to hurt you make you feel guilty. Actually I hoped to take away your guilt. We were young and it happened and now we need to move on. We can't stay stuck in all of that. It's ok Noah. Really," Luke said trying to reassure him. He hoped that they could be friends again. Truthfully, he missed Noah. A long time ago he thought that they couldn't be friends, but maybe now that they have both been through so much, maybe they could put all of the that other stuff behind them. Luke turned back to the sink and stuck his hands back into the now cooling water.

Noah leaned forward with his forearms resting on his knees. It was true that it had been a number of years since they broke up and it was time that they moved past all of the drama that broke them up. Looking back it was almost hard to believe everything that they had to deal with. Noah's coming out and psycho dad then Noah's marriage and of course he couldn't forget about crazy cousins, a botched election, lecherous step-granddad, and a dubious professor. And those were just the highlights; there were dozens of other things. Noah wished so badly that he could go back and take away all of the hurt that Luke had to endure, but he could only go forward. Noah looked up at Luke and could see the setting sun shining through his hair. Sweat immediately started to form on his forehead and his palms. He knew that he should say goodnight to Luke and go back to his room at the Lakeview, but he just couldn't.

Noah stood and stepped around the island to stand just behind Luke. Due to the splashing of the water in the old cast iron sink, Luke couldn't hear Noah moving. Noah took a breath and stepped closer to Luke. He put his hands next to Luke's hips; boxing him in. Luke felt Noah's breath on the back of his neck. Goosebumps erupted all over his body. As much as he wanted to think that he had moved on from Noah and their relationship, he couldn't deny that being this close to him made his heart beat faster.

Noah's left hand dropped to Luke's hip; lightly brushing his thumb on the small of his back. Noah brought his shaky right hand to the hair at the nape of Luke's neck. He marveled how soft Luke's hair was even after all these years. He pulled Luke's hair away and brushed his lips against the skin there. A sharp gasp escaped Luke as he felt Noah's warm lips touch him. Noah decided to stop teasing Luke, and himself, and lightly nibbled on Luke's neck. Luke felt his body temp rise as he leaned back into the brunette. The hand that was lightly resting on Luke's hip slid around to his stomach. Noah softly pulled Luke flush against his chest. He couldn't believe that he was doing what he had fantasized about for the last five years. Actually since he and Luke broke up, but he was being brave and acting on it now.

Luke turned in Noah's arms and locked eyes with the brunette; Noah's eyes were dark cobalt and Luke's were nearly black. Luke's gaze dropped as he hooked his fingers into Noah's belt loops and pulled their bodies together. Noah collided with Luke and quickly grabbed at the counter behind Luke to keep them from slamming into sink. A duet of moan escaped both them of as their lips finally met after nearly six years. Their lips remembered each other; it was that same muscle memory from when they embraced in Natalie's room a few days before.

Luke slid his tongue across Noah's bottom lip; begging for entrance. Noah complied and relished the softness of Luke's tongue sliding across his. Noah left arm wrapped around Luke's back and pulled the blonde even tighter against him. He could feel Luke becoming hard against him. Luke fisted at the back of Noah's shirt and the hair at the base of Noah's neck. Noah finally broke their kiss when both of them needed air. He needed to taste Luke's skin. He trailed light kisses and soft nibbles along Luke's jaw and to his neck. Luke moaned into Noah's ear when the brunette lightly nipped on Luke's earlobe.

"Oh, Noah," Luke breathed out. He could barely think; all he could do was feel. Noah's hard body against his. Noah's arm wrapped tightly around his back; holding him taut against his chest. Noah's warm lips against his; all the nerves in Luke's lips were tingling with every nibble, lick, and suck. Luke could feel his heart pounding in his ears and his body was melting in Noah's arms. He could feel his legs shaking as the adrenaline coursed through his veins. "Noah, I missed you," he breathed against the skin of Noah's neck.

It was then, in at that instant, that Noah came back into his body. He was making out in Luke's grandma's kitchen. Emma's kitchen. They had just laid her to rest twelve hours earlier. He couldn't do this. Noah pulled away and stepped back, out of breath. His eyes raked over Luke and his now disheveled appearance. Luke's hair was messed from Noah's fingers going through it. His cheeks were flushed and his chest was rising and falling as he gasped for air. Luke's blue shirt had been carelessly untucked when Noah's arm wrapped around the blonde's back. Noah could see confusion and hurt flash across his chocolate eyes.

"What's wrong?" Luke asked, even though he was afraid to hear the answer. He reached for Noah's hand. Noah stepped farther away and around the island.

"Luke. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry,"

"What?"

"I can't," Noah said and was quickly out the back door. Luke could move. He leaned heavily against the edge of the sink. His entire body was shaking and he felt like he was going to be sick. He could hear Noah's car pull away from the farm and race up the gravel driveway.

"I am so stupid," Luke said quietly to himself. He allowed himself to think that Noah would actually want to be with him. Or that he even allowed himself to go back there. To be that needy pathetic boy that dated Noah all those years ago. Luke shook of his anger and the disgust he felt towards himself and turned back to the sink. The dishes were still waiting to be finished, the kitchen needed to put to right and he was too keyed up to sleep now.

* * *

 

Noah charged into his hotel room and slammed the door shut. He was sweating, his heart was racing, and he couldn't catch his breath. He was having a full blown panic attack. He sat down heavily on the bed and dropped his head into his hands.

"What is wrong with me?" He asked himself. He had Luke in his arms. The one thing that he had been dreaming of for nearly six years and he blew it. He had an attack of his conscience. They had just buried Emma and he was taking advantage of Luke like that. He wanted everything with Luke, but not like that.

"Well, why didn't you say that then!" He questioned himself again. "You did the same thing that you always do! You ran away!" Luke was upset. His entire world had been flipped upside down. "And I made it worst by making out with him and then taking off. I am so stupid. I am exactly what he said I was."

Noah pulled his phone out of his pocket and called the farm. The phone rang and rang. He knew that he would be lucky if Luke answered the phone, but he had to try to explain. He wanted to fix things and he just hoped that he would have the time to do just that. After 15 rings, he hung up and tossed his phone on the bed. Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would find a way to make this right.

It was Luke.

He just needed to.

He needed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to throw a bit of angst in there didn't I! HA!  
> I hoped you like it!  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Noah makes a declaration...will it be enough?  
> Stay Tuned!


	41. Questions (Lure)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next installment on Planet Lure!  
> ENJOY!

Reid tucked his hands into his pockets and slowly walked up the small hill to where Noah was standing. Noah heard gravel crunch underfoot behind him and looked over his shoulder to see Dr. Oliver coming closer. He took in a deep breath and stilled his nerves. He knew that they were about to be tested. He hoped that he could keep his temper in check. He didn't know what it was, but Reid Oliver just rubbed him the wrong way. Almost like dirt in a wound. No matter how many times he tried to clean it out, the infection would set in deeper. Reid came to a stop next to Noah and cleared his throat, not to draw Noah's attention, but because he had something he wanted to say.

"It was a nice service," Noah said in an attempt to break the ice. The two men stood side by side staring down at the still pond.

"Yes, it was."

"I thought what you said was really nice. So, thank you."

"Why…are you thanking me?" Reid asked in confusion.

"I…am…not quite sure. I guess, I don't know what to say."

"Well, I do," Reid said and turned to face Noah. "Are you an idiot?"

"Excuse me?" Noah's question coming out as almost a demand. He turned to face the doctor. _So much for keeping his temper in check. He was still a jerk, even after all these years._ "You came all the way up here to ask me that?"

"No. I came up here to talk about Luke."

"Of course you did," Noah answered back curtly. He felt like they were going in circles, yet again.

"Luke wants to be part of your life, despite my best efforts to dissuade him."

"What? Are you afraid that he might leave you for me? Could the brilliant Dr. Oliver be jealous of me?"

"Hardly," Reid responded and had to laugh at Mayer's implication. "No. I'm trying to protect him. In all the time I've known you, you've hurt him. First when you were a couple, then when you were broken up, and we mustn't forget your conversation at Katie's reception. You always left him hurting, whether you meant to or not, and I don't care which. Luke doesn't deserve to be treated that way. I was there when he went through all the therapy sessions after his accident. The pain and surgeries he went through and he never complained or blamed anyone. If it was up to me, you would not come near him. You would be a memory, but it is not my decision. It's his," Reid said as he nodded towards the farm house. Noah could feel his anger towards the older man diminish as he spoke. "You were his first everything and I've made peace with that, believe me. I love Luke and I just want him to be happy. And being your friend is important to him. I didn't come here to argue with you, I don't have the strength for it today. But I will give you some advice. Be good to Luke. He is the best person that I have had the privilege to know and he deserves people in his life who know that. Think about it," Reid concluded and walked away before Noah could respond. He didn't want to deal with anymore drama today.

* * *

Reid walked back towards the farm house with a tremendous sense of accomplishment. He managed to have a conversation with Noah Mayer without it reducing to a fistfight. But he did it for Luke. If Reid had his way he would never have to interact with Mr. Mayer as long as he lived. Despite what Mayer thought, it was not about jealousy, at least not on his part. He wasn't sure that he would ever be able to forgive Noah for how he treated Luke. And it wasn't just about Luke's accident. It was all of it.

Noah was cruel and spiteful at the end of his relationship with Luke. He made Luke doubt himself and his worth. It took Reid a long time to prove to Luke that he was indeed worthy of his love and affection. Reid had to confess that he had a lot fun during the sweaty late nights convincing Luke that he was loved. Reid was damn lucky to have someone like Luke in his life. Though he rarely said it; with Luke he didn't need to. Luke's relationship with Noah bordered on abuse with the constant push and pull and belittling Luke's feelings and needs. It was for those reasons why he would never forgive Noah Mayer.

But this was for Luke. Reid kept repeating that to himself during his entire conversation with Mayer. Contrary to his proclamations, Luke still felt guilty for what happened; to Noah and their relationship. He wanted to be sure that Noah was ok. That he was happy. And Reid was doing this for Luke. Reid would do anything to make Luke happy. He loved him and was willing to tolerate Mr. Mayer for his partner. But if Noah Mayer ever hurt Luke again, he wasn't going to be quite so civil next time.

Luke was sitting at one of the farm's half dozen picnic tables that sat under the huge maple trees on the south side of the house. He was talking to a few of his younger cousins or were they his uncles. Reid straddled the table's bench and slid as close to Luke as he could; his thighs almost trapping Luke where he was. Luke's smile shined as him; he hadn't smiled like this in a few days and Reid missed it. Luke moved towards Reid and leaned against the redhead's chest. Reid's arms wrapped around Luke's waist and Luke burrowed closer. His lips just shy of Reid's Adam's apple. Luke's warm breath on his neck made goose bumps travel up his spine.

"Where'd you go?" Luke asked.

"For a walk. Needed to clear the air," Reid said as Luke's head nuzzled under his chin. Luke was a little confused by Reid's choice of words, but he didn't feel the need to question him any further. He felt so secure in this relationship with Reid, that if Reid wanted him to know, he'd tell him. Luke's ear was right next to Reid's heart. He could fall asleep to its gentle rhythm. His eyes closed and he felt a soft peace wrap around him.

Noah walked across the yard, passed the barn, and then passed Luke and Reid at one of Emma's picnic table. He knew that they loved each other and that they were completely devoted to each other. He knew all of this, but to see them right now. Nestled tight against each other on the old picnic table in Emma's backyard, he knew. He finally knew it. It wasn't rational, but a very small part of didn't want to let go of Luke. To that nineteen year old that captured his heart that fateful summer. But he wasn't that guy anymore and Luke was different now too. Seeing them sitting on that weathered old picnic table, quietly talking, Noah knew that they were it. They had it figured out. They just fit.

Noah had never admitted it or wanted to before, but the wool was off his eyes. Noah was finally growing up and he had to accept that he and Luke would never be a couple again, but he hoped that they could at least be friends. He decided to wait and talk to Luke alone. He had a big apology to give him.

* * *

About an hour later, Luke was sitting down on the dock that jutted out over calm Snyder Pond. He had been down there for a while and Reid was just now venturing down to see him; heavy wool blanket in his hands. The funeral had taken a lot of him and he knew that Luke would want to be alone for a while. The sun was just about set and the evening was growing cold. Reid adjusted the blanket in his hands and then stepped onto the dock. Luke heard him and knew already that is was Reid. He felt the blanket envelop his shoulders and Reid brushed it down to wrap around him. Luke smiled softly at the thoughtfulness of his partner. Reid stepped around the bench and sat down. He let out a long breath and draped his left arm across the back of bench; lightly brushing his thumb up and down Luke's bicep.

"I want to move here." There it was, it just tumbled out of him.

"What?" Reid asked, turning his body to face Luke. Luke swallowed and turned to face Reid.

"I want to move home. I want to be near my family."

"Luke…"

"I know it's selfish and I know that you would be leaving the position that worked **_so_** long for, but I need to be here."

"Luke, it's not selfish," Reid said after he cupped Luke's face in his hands. He looked into Luke eyes and saw such sadness in them. The sparkle that was always dancing behind those beautiful brown eyes was so dim that Reid could barely see it. There were unshed tears swimming just along the edges of his eyes.

Reid didn't say anything. He had hoped that Reid would be all right with moving back to Oakdale, but part of him knew that Reid would not want to. How could he blame him? Reid would be leaving his dream job; a job that he worked his _**entire**_ life to obtain to move **_here_**. To a town that was full of drama, mostly supplied by his own family. That drama was the main reason that Luke moved in the first place. Why would Reid give up his entire life for him? Luke was stupid to think that Reid would want to be here and selfish for even asking him. Luke let out a long breath and his shoulders slumped. He pulled the blanket tight around him, stood, and stepped around Reid; pulling away from his grasp. He turned and walked up the dock.

Reid felt all the air rush out of his body like he was drowning. Luke was walking away and Reid wasn't saying anything. He didn't know what to say. Was he willing to give up his entire career for Luke? He had sacrificed most of his life to his career without a second thought. If someone had asked him five years ago if he would turn his entire life upside down and backwards for someone, he would have said "No!" without a moment's hesitation. But seeing Luke walk away from him now after he asked Reid to come back to the village of the damned...he had to say something.

"Marry me!" He shouted and his voice echoed around the edges of the pond. Luke stopped in his tracks and he looked over his shoulder at Reid.

"What?"

Reid wiped his hands against each other, hoping that the shaking would stop. He had been thinking about this for weeks now, but didn't think that it would happen this way. He walked up the short dock and was standing in front of Luke. He suddenly wished that the dock had been longer; maybe he would have had more time to think about what he wanted to say. Luke was fully facing him now with his arms crossed, keeping Reid back a step.

"You're not selfish. If anything, you are most unselfish person I have ever met and I am glad that I met you. Yes, moving here would mean that I would leave the job of my dreams," he saw Luke's shoulders slump even more. "I have worked most of my life to get to where I am and to start over somewhere in the middle of nowhere...I should have my own head examined."

"I shouldn't have even asked. It was stupid."

"No," Reid quickly replied. "That what I meant…I'm not doing this right. I, ah, coming back here for this…I saw how being here has affected you. You seem, like _**you**_ here."

"Reid, you're babbling," Luke said with a lightness in his voice and a slight smile on his face.

"I know. I can't help it. You see what you do to me."

"You mean I'm not _**me**_ at home?" Luke asked; getting more and more confused by the circles Reid's train of thought was doing.

"No, of course you are. It's just…how can I…I need to start over. I, ah," Reid's tongue felt two sizes too big for his mouth and his thoughts were drying up. He gave himself I light slap on the cheek, hoping that it would help him finally get the words out. He took a deep breath, looked Luke in the eyes and just let his heart talk. _His heart talk? Who had he become?_ "You are going through this and coming here makes you realize that you need to be here. Seeing you here makes me realize that I don't, won't, can't be without you. So, Luke Snyder, will you marry me?"

Luke felt like his entire life was flashing before his eyes. He had to admit that he had always fantasized about marrying Reid, but he never ever thought he would. Let alone be the one asked. He thought that if they ever were, it would have been a casual idea; like something that they did on Wednesday. Just something that they would go off and do, but he never really thought that they would. He just assumed that they would just be together, partners. And Luke was all right with that. But to now have the option, he knew the answer.

"Am I going to get an answer or are you going to just stare at me…"

"Yes," Luke cuts Reid off.

"Yes, I'll get an answer or…"

"Yes," was all Luke could say.

"Which is it?" Reid asked curtly, he was trying not to get anxious but it was getting difficult to be calm. His hands were sweating and he was standing there waiting for the man he loved more than anyone or anything to answer his question.

"Yes," Luke stepped two feet closer and looked into those bright blue eyes. "Reid Matthew Oliver, I will marry you,"

Reid did the only thing he could think of. He grabbed onto Luke and pulled him flush against him. There was not a bit of air between them. Luke would have crawled into Reid's skin if he could. He buried his face in Reid's neck and fisted at his jacket. Reid buried his hand into the soft blonde hair at the base of Luke's neck. Engaged! He never thought it would happen. Ever. But he never imagined Luke Snyder. He raked his fingers through Luke's hair and wrapped his other arm around him. He always thought he would be scared at the idea of getting married, but the idea that was Luke Snyder changed all that. He wanted forever and we wanted to cement that. To prove to everyone that Luke belonged to him and that he belonged to Luke. Two halves of one whole.

"Is this your clever way of getting out of the whole moving conversation or," Luke said as he pulled back. Reid would have been offended it he hadn't seen the smirk growing across his face and that gleam in his eye.

"Brat!" Reid answered quickly and shut him up with a sound kiss. "I guess we should tell your family," Reid said and slipped his hand into Luke's; pulling him towards the house. But Luke pulled him back.

"No," Luke said softly and Reid didn't hide his confusion. Luke tightened his grip on Reid's hands, assuring him that he was not ashamed of them. "My family…I love them, but if we go in there and tell them, we will not hear the end of it and we will not be able to get away. I just want one night alone, with you. You know, just us, **_celebrating_** our engagement. I'm being selfish right now. I want you all to myself for one night in our hotel suite with that _**really, big**_ bed," Luke concluded. He bit his lower lip slightly and wiggled his eyebrows at Reid.

Reid laughed out loud and pulled Luke to him; wrapping his arms around him. He never thought he would be here. Engaged. It was true that he had been thinking about asking Luke for awhile now, but he hadn't planned on doing it here. He didn't think that he would be asking Luke to marry him after his grandma's funeral. But hearing Luke talk about wanting to move back and seeing the defeat in his eyes when he thought Reid wasn't willing to. He knew that he needed to say something to convince Luke that he was in this for the long haul.

Thick and thin.

And now better or worse, in sickness and health, till death do them part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...whatta think?  
> Hope you guys are still enjoying it!  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - A homecoming  
> Stay Tuned!


	42. One Last Try (Nuke)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next installment for you Nuke fanatics!  
> This one a little long, I hope you enjoy it!

Luke woke up and rolled over. He was sleeping in his childhood bed, but he felt **_so_** old. His mind jumped to what happened last night in the kitchen. Him and Noah making out in the kitchen. His stomach twisted and his chest started to burn. How could he let himself get drawn in…again? He was finally past Noah. He had dated Reid for nearly six years. He had dated half a dozen other guys, one for five months. He was past all of this. He never wanted to go back to how he felt back when he and Noah were dating. He refused to be pulled back there. That Luke was weak, a doormat. He let people take advantage of him and he was happy to let them. His parents, his friends, his siblings, Noah. They all leaned on him whenever they needed someone, but when he needed someone, there was no one there. It took him a long time to get passed all of that. To responsibility for what he allowed to happen and let go of the things he had no control over.

Luke sat up and ran his hands through his hair. He needed to shower and get on with his day. He had to get a grip on what was happening to him. He felt like he was sliding down a slippery slope; grasping for anything to stop his descent. Luke pulled himself to his feet and stumbled into the shower.

* * *

Noah was up before the dawn. He had showered and eaten breakfast before most of the town was awake. He laid in bed and replayed the previous night over in his head. He needed to figure out how he could fix what he had done last night. Deep down, part of him hoped that he and Luke could get back together. He was going to be selfish and wish for it. But then he had to go and screw it up. Holding Luke in his arms and feeling his lips and body against him; Luke felt like his own little piece of Heaven. He had imagined it so many times over the years and he had to get in his own way. He learned in his therapy sessions that he sabotaged his happiness because on some level he didn't think he deserved it. That was why he asked Luke the "dreaded" question last night. He knew why he ruined things between them, but he needed to hear it from Luke's side. It was the only way he could fix things, but he couldn't keep his hands to himself. 

Noah sat up and grabbed his cell. The sun was up and it as nearly 8am now. He could call Luke. He needed to talk. He dialed the farm and heard it start to ring.

* * *

The phone in the kitchen started to ring as Luke came down from upstairs. His hair was still wet and stuck to back of his neck. He knew it was Noah. He knew it was Noah trying to apologize. He didn't want to deal with Noah right now. He mentally could not take anymore. He was still grieving his grandma and now all of this unnecessary drama from Noah. He honestly just wanted to get out of town and back to his life. The life that he had built on his own without the help of his family or partner. He needed to get back to his reality and put all of this crap behind him. He let the phone ring while made himself some coffee.

* * *

Noah let the phone ring for another 15 times before he hung up. This was not working. He needed to attack this from another angle. He needed to get Luke to talk to him or get him to meet him somewhere. He needed to figure out how to get Luke to just listen to him. He needed to get out of this room. He grabbed his jacket and was out the door. He needed a caffeine fix and hopefully figure out what he was going to do to get Luke to at least listen to him. He had pulled a lot of their problems out in front of people, he wanted to just do this in private. Just him and Luke and a long overdue conversation.

As he stood in line at Java, he couldn't help but fidget with his cell phone. He didn't even have Luke's cell number and he knew that if he tried to call the farm again, Luke wouldn't answer. He didn't blame him. He was careless with Luke again and he just needed to figure this out. He sat down and tried to calm the different trains of thought that were running through his mind. What he could say? What he should say? How he should say it? He was so caught up that he didn't even hear his name being called until some lightly touched his shoulder. He jumped and looked toward the passerby; it was Faith.

"Noah? Didn't you hear me saying your name?" Faith asked with a chuckle in her voice.

"Uh, no, sorry. What are you up to?"

"Caffeine before I go to study group. What are you doing?"

"Same thing…without the study group part obviously."

"Ok. Well, I better get my order in before everyone in campus has the same idea I do."

"Yeah, I'll talk to you later."

Faith walked away and knew that something was not quite right about Noah. He seemed really distracted and almost fidgety. He was uncomfortable. But she hadn't seen him in a long time. Maybe this was Noah now. She decided to get back to the menu board. Noah watched her walk away and his eyes were drawn to the bulletin board just past her near the door. His eyes locked on a bright blue flyer hanging in the middle of the board. It was then that he knew what he was going to do.

* * *

Luke was just leaving lunch with Casey at Al's when he got a text from Faith. It was just an address. He knew that address. He knew that she had hinted at wanting to move out of the dorms right after the semester started, but why **_that_** building and _**that**_ apartment. He drove across town and parked in front of the unassuming apartment building. It looked quite a bit different from when he and Noah had lived there. The façade was no longer that dull grey but a soft cream and the new landscaping made it look more Modern Living and less National Geographic. It looked like people actually lived here now.

He got out of his car and wiped his sweaty hands on his thighs. He would meet her there and quickly get out. As he walked up the two sets of stairs to his old apartment, memories of his and Noah's short tenure as renters came back to him. The mornings they slept in and ate bagels in bed. The dinners that they ate on the floor when they didn't have a dining table yet. The nights that they curled up the couch and watched movies until they fell asleep. Of course, these memories were always followed by the fights, the nights he spent there alone while Noah worked on his movie, and their inevitable break-up. His feet were pretty heavy as he walked up the steps to the second floor apartment. The door was partially open and Luke pushed it all the way open. His mouth dropped to the floor when he saw the scene in front of him.

There was a blanket spread across the middle of the bare living room. A picnic basket sat there open and Luke could see a myriad of different foods just inside. An ice bucket sat next to the basket with sparkly cider chilling. There were candles on every flat surface; from the half-kitchen counter top to the window sills and the newly installed fireplace's mantel. They cast a soft orange glow in the room. There were even rose petals scattered across the living room's newly installed wooden floor.

"Faith?" Luke called out and their old bedroom door opened. Luke felt his heart drop when Noah came out into the living room.

"Hi Luke."

"What are you doing?"

"This was the only way that I could think of to get you alone."

"And Faith's phone?" Luke was starting to feel annoyed.

"I borrowed it when I saw her in Java this morning. She had no idea I was going to do this."

"How did you get the Super to let you do this?" Luke was desperately trying to get a handle on this.

"I told him I was scouting for a movie. He gave me the key and I promised to be out by tonight."

"I don't believe you. You just have it all figured out," Luke said, exasperated. His nerves were shot. He ran his hand through his hair and let out a shaky breath. "Why did you do all of this?"

"I needed you to understand something."

"What?" Luke crossed his arms and tried to keep his emotions in check. He was not going to breakdown, not after yesterday.

This was Noah's only chance to clear all of this up.

"A while ago I was thinking, why was it that, I am the one who had do the grand romantic gestures? Why was it that I had to be the one who bought the flowers or wrote you a letter? Then it hit me."

"What?" Luke asked; his voice was a mere ghost of itself.

"Because I never once had to wonder if you loved me," Noah answered.

"Noah, I…,"

"No, it's true. Took me a long time to admit it, but it's true. I never once had to think about it. Your feelings were always out there; on your sleeve for everyone to see. I was the one who was always holding back. So here we go; big romantic gesture. I love you. I have always loved you. From the first _**second**_ I saw you, you were it for me. I just didn't know it. You are the one thing I have always wanted, even before I knew it. When you left Oakdale, I thought my heart was just going to shatter into a million pieces and it did. I was angry for a long time, but not at you. I was mad at myself for being too selfish to forgive you and let you be there for me. I saw you that day, that day you and Oliver left Oakdale. You were at the airport and you looked so happy. I let you walk away. I was scared to think about what "us" meant. I thought us meant that there was no "me" anymore, but I was _**so**_ wrong, because _**us**_ , _**together**_ , is so much bigger and more important than just me. I asked you here hoping that we could try to be _**us**_ again, because I have lived far too many years without you and I cannot imagine the rest of my life without you in. Will you, give me, give us another chance?" Noah had done it. He opened his heart and poured all of his feelings out. Luke had never seen Noah like this before. In the past trying to get Noah to talk about his feelings was like pulling teeth, but now he had said everything that Luke wanted to hear.

Correction. He had said everything that 23 year old Luke wanted to hear.

"Why?"

"What?" Noah asked, confused. That was not what he expecting or hoping to hear.

"Why should I agree to this?" Luke asked, gesturing to the perfect romantic picture that Noah had created. Noah was not sure what to say. He had laid his entire heart on the line. He told Luke everything that he wanted to say to him over all these years. He only had one more thing to say.

"Because, I love you. That's it," he finally answered; his voice coming out very softly.

"I can't Noah. I'm not that same person anymore. It wouldn't work again. Hell, it didn't the first time or the second or third time."

"You don't know that it will be like that again. Luke, please," he was begging now and he didn't care. He was willing to do anything that he had to.

"I can't do this again. I won't do this again," Luke turned to leave and Noah chased after him; grabbing his wrist to stop his egress.

"What do you mean?" Noah asked while not letting go.

"I mean _**this**_. We are always doing _**this**_ to each other. We get together, then one of us does something, and we break up. It just keeps happening over and over again. The last time we ended; it took me a long time to get over you," Luke said trying not to cry. He had cried enough over Noah for one life. He pulled his hand away from Noah's grasp.

"You were with Oliver before I even came out of the OR!"

"That doesn't mean anything! Do you think that you are _**that**_ easy to move away from? I still loved you, even when I was with Reid. It wasn't until I was living in Dallas that I was finally able to move on. To let you go. But it's too late Noah. We can't go back."

"Then let's move forward. I'm still in love with you Luke. I know that we are different now, but maybe that's just what we need. Don't give up on this. On us."

"This is just too hard Noah. It's like beating a dead horse; back and forth, up and down. It's just too painful to go through it again."

"You asked me once when I was going to fight for you. Well, I was an idiot before when I let you go. So, I'm fighting for you now! I am _standing_ _ **right here**_ , fighting for you. I need you Luke."

To say that Luke was overwhelmed would be an understatement. If Noah had done this or said these things all those years ago, maybe then Luke could have entertained the idea of being with Noah again. But not now. Being with Noah and then not being with him nearly destroyed Luke. He sometimes wondered what would have happened to him if it had not been Reid. He was in a downward spiral and it was Reid he grabbed on to. If it hadn't been Reid, who knows where Luke would have ended up. And try as he might he couldn't not blame Noah for that spiral. He pushed him away over and over again only to come crawling back for another chase. It was true that they were different. Older, wiser, and such, but could he do it all again? He looked at Noah, with such a hopeful look on his face, and he realized that he couldn't.

"I can't Noah. I am so sorry. Thank you for all of this, after everything we've been through, I needed to hear this, but I can't let myself go back to that place," Luke said and before Noah could say anything else, he turned and walked out of their old apartment. Noah rushed to the door, but stopped there. He wanted to chase after Luke and make him stay, but that was not how he wanted to start this again. By forcing Luke to do anything. He knew that he would get a chance again, but he had to wait and for Luke, he was willing to do just that.

* * *

Luke sat in his car for a moment and stared up at the windows that led into his old living room. He could just barely see someone walking back and forth just inside the room. He felt so bad for saying no to Noah. He could tell that Noah had put a lot of thought and his heart into Luke's surprise and it hurt him to say those things to Noah. But what else could he do? He couldn't go along with what Noah was asking and he couldn't lie to him that maybe someday they could. He started his car and drove towards the airport.

A trip that should have taken ten minutes was stretching into twenty. Construction on Main Street had him rerouted ten blocks out of his way and he was almost there, finally. The light changed before Luke could speed through and he sat at a long red light. Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and flipping through the stations on the radio. He looked up at the street light and noticed where he was. He looked to his left and there it was. Where it all began. There at the corner of Elm and Main was WOAK. The one place where he met and fell in love with Noah. He sat there and looked at that old building with memories flashing through his mind.

The day they met.

The first time they touched hands.

All of the withering glances.

Their first kiss.

All of these memories came rushing back into Luke's mind. All of the feelings that Luke had tried to push back and move past. He felt his stomach lurch a bit as he sat there and missed two more green lights.

* * *

Noah started to clean up the candles, the roses, and the makeshift picnic from the floor. He tried, but he wasn't going to let it go. He would try again, but he was not going to push. He would try to be Luke's friend first. That was how they fell in love the first time. He could be as patient as he needed to be. He started to put the candles into his bag and then grabbed a broom to sweep up the rose petals. He turned towards the open front door and saw someone standing there.

"Luke, what are…," Luke stepped into the apartment and cut off Noah.

"I was almost out of here. I was on my way to the airport and then I would have been home in two hours. You know what stopped me?"

"No, what?" Noah asked expectantly. He set the broom and dustpan aside and wiped his now sweaty hands on his pants.

"Construction on Main Street. I had to detour two miles out of the way and I got stuck on Elm at a stop light right in front of WOAK," Luke said and Noah swallowed hard. Luke could see his Adam's apple bob slightly. "As I sat there, everything came back to me. The good stuff and the bad. You hurt me, _**a lot,**_ while we were together," Luke voice cracked as he tried to explain.

"I know and I have no excuse," Noah said and walked closer to Luke. Luke put up his hands to stop him from getting too close. He had to say something and he needed for him to stay back.

"You have no idea how hard it was for me to let go of you. The good and the bad. As much as I loved you, there was a lot of pain in our relationship; on both sides. I hurt you too. I didn't mean to, but I did. I know that sometimes you didn't mean to hurt me, but sometimes you did." Noah closed his eyes at that. Luke was right, he did mean to sometimes and now he just had to let Luke talk. "As much time as it took to let go of the good things, it took even longer to let go of the bad things. I started to think that I wasn't worthy of anything, including love," Luke could see the shame on Noah's face. Hell, he could almost feel it. Luke stepped closer; if he reached out he could have touched him. "If we do this again, you have to earn that trust back. We will have to do this slowly."

"If? You mean you're willing to…"

"Slowly. There is a lot of bad stuff that we'll have to work through. Maybe we could start with long distance; phone calls and emails. I wanna be realistic about this. We're not kids anymore. If this is going to work we need to do this right, this time."

"Whatever you want. Whatever you need. You direct all of this. I'm all in Luke. I swear," Noah quickly answered. He fought the urge to grab the blonde into a hug. He was willing to do anything, anything Luke wanted.

"Ok," Luke breathed a sigh of relief. "First, do you think we could start with the spread you brought? I haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon," Luke said as he gestures to the still spread out blanket and picnic basket. He didn't know if this was going to work. Half of him wanted to run home, but the other was willing to see if they really could make a go of it. Maybe Noah was right, they weren't ready all those years ago. If Noah was willing to take this very slowly, he was willing to see if they could.

"Yeah. After you," Noah said shyly and watched Luke sit down. He sat across from him; his legs crossed and his feet tucked under him.

He finally felt like he could breathe. Luke was willing to work all of this out. Give "them" a chance again. It had been killing him not having Luke in his life. He was being given a rare gift and he was not going to mess this up. Not again. Never again. He looked up as Luke started to dig through the basket.

Yeah, he was willing to work harder than he ever had in life.

He needed Luke.

He wouldn't give him up as freely this time. Luke was worth so much more than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that you Nuke fans have been through a lot with one...don't give up yet.  
> Let me know what you think. Hit review. Feedback brings me back to my laptop.  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Luke and Noah come to a consensus.  
> Stay Tuned!


	43. A New Beginning (Lure)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next installment for you Lure-fanatics!  
> A little fluff.  
> I hope you enjoy it.

 

Reid barely made it inside of the door when his grip finally let go. The box he was carrying fell to the floor and landed hard on his foot. Reid wretched his foot out from under the box, but not before half-screaming, half-groaning in pain. He hobbled over to the sofa and leaned heavily against the arm. He pulled his shoe off and begun to rub the stinging out of his toes. Luke heard the slam of the box, the scream of the Reid, and came running from the upstairs bedroom. He hit the bottom of the stairs and saw Reid hunched over, holding his foot.

"What happened?" Luke asked; worry thick in his voice.

"Nothing. I'm fine," he said through gritted teeth. Luke bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing out loud.

"Yeah, sure you are," he pushed on Reid's shoulder and the older man fell back onto their sofa. Luke took Reid foot in his hands and raised an eyebrow. Reid propped himself up on his elbows and looked at his fiancé.

"Don't you dare," he warned the younger blonde. Luke lightly grabbed Reid's big toe and threatened to pull on it, but instead dug his thumbs into the bottom of Reid's foot. Reid felt little shocks travel up his leg and gain momentum as they reached his brain. Reid groaned again, but it was in pleasure this time. His arms buckled and he collapsed back; letting Luke slide his thumbs up and down the sole of his foot. Reid's sore toes were quickly forgotten as Luke dug his fingers deeper into Reid's foot. Luke could see that his actions were having the desired effect. Reid's eyes were closed and his arms were resting on his waist. Luke slowly lowered Reid's foot then quickly, yet softly climbed over the arm and straddled Reid's hips.

Reid felt the delicious pressure that was Luke sitting on top of him. He loved it when Luke took the initiative. He lay perfectly still while Luke leaned forward and lightly kissed his chin. He could feel Luke smile against his skin. Luke continued to kiss along Reid's neck. Reid's hands cupped the back of Luke's head; urging him on. Luke's hands slid under Reid's thread bare Harvard Med t-shirt. Luke could feel Reid take in a sharp breath as his nails lightly grazed his skin.

"Oh, god," Reid let out in a hot gasp. He couldn't take it anymore, he needed to see and feel more of Luke. The older doctor pulled at Luke's sides and his shirt was quickly off; thrown across the room somewhere. Not to be the only one topless, Luke pulled at Reid and his shirt came off as well. The awkward position at which they fell on to the couch made it nearly impossible to get to any part of Luke.

He pushed the blonde slightly back and slipped out from under him. With both men sitting up facing each other, their make-out session progressed rather quickly. Reid's hand slid down Luke's thigh and hooked just at his knee. He pulled at Luke's leg and the younger man was now straddling Reid's lap.

Luke loved the feeling of being in control at times like this. Reid was completely at his mercy. Luke's hands fanned out across Reid's chest. He could feel Reid's heart racing just under his skin. Sometimes it amazed Luke that they still seemed to be in the "Honeymoon Phase" of their relationship even after all these years. Luke just could not stop touching Reid. Luke ground his body down into Reid's lap which elicited a deep groan from Reid. Both men were hard beyond imaging, but each of them wanted to make this last. Luke laced his fingers in Reid's and pinned them behind Reid's head. Reid finally opened his eyes and looked at up at his young lover…err fiancé. He was going to have to get use to that. Luke hands slowly pulled away from Reid's, but the redhead left them on the back of the couch. He could see it in Luke's milk chocolate eyes that he was to leave them there. Reid inwardly groaned when Luke's bangs fell in front of his eyes and he looked at Reid through the long golden strands. Reid loved it when Luke did that. Of course, Luke knew that and did it every chance he could.

With Reid's hands resting behind his head, Luke took time to lightly brush his fingers over every muscle he could. Tracing the small valleys and veins with his fingers, he could feel Reid squirming underneath him. Reid's hands were just itching to touch Luke. He was wringing his hands together; trying to hold onto what little resolve he had. Luke tilted Reid's head to the side and softly nibbled along the redhead's jaw. His lips softly moved at a torturing pace, Reid struggled even more under him. Luke smirked at his fiancé while his own excitement grew.

Reid couldn't hold back any longer. His hands flew from behind his head and came down hard onto Luke's hips. Luke jumped when Reid's hands hit his bare skin. The slight sting from the impact sent a tingle through him. Reid dug his fingers deep into Luke's hips; grinding the blonde's body against his. As much as he loved making love to Luke, he almost loved this part the best. Seeing that desire and feeling the heat coming from Luke. Being able to see just how much he is wanted and needed by the younger man. How playful and inventive Luke was when they were just making out. But there came a point when he just couldn't wait any longer.

"We should christen this couch first," Reid said against Luke's lips; just not wanting to break contact. Luke simple groaned in response, his brain too far gone in his desire for Reid to give a real answer. They each reached for the other's belt and begun to undo them. Just as Luke's hand slid inside Reid's pants and made contact with Reid's hard cock, the front door opened and the next couple minutes seemed to happen in slow motion.

Reid looked over Luke's shoulder and saw Lily's face change from utter excitement that her son had moved home to pure horror at what she walked in on. It if hadn't happened to him, he would have thought it was funny as hell. Luke rolled to Reid's side and Reid instinctually blocked Lily's view with his body, but that position looked even more obscene.

"Mom!" Luke yelled from behind Reid.

"Sorry baby!" Lily answered as her hands went to cover her eyes.

"Could you give us a couple minutes?"

"Ah, yeah," she responded, not sure what else to say. Both men looked to the door as it quickly shut with Lily safely outside. Reid could feel Luke's embarrassment coming off his skin.

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh My God! That was so mortifying!" Luke said muffled. His hands were clamped tightly over his face and they were not moving.

"It's not as bad as you think."

"Oh really?" Luke asked incredulously. "And what could possibly be worst than my mom walking in while my hand was inside your pants?"

"If she had been five minutes later," Reid said as Luke moved his hands from his face. He looked up at Reid and he could see that he was trying not laugh.

"Shut up!" Luke exclaimed and smacked Reid's arm with an open hand.

"I'm serious. She probably would have seen _something_ inserted where she wouldn't have wanted to see."

"Oh god!" And Luke burrowed deeper into the couch.

"She's just as embarrassed as you are. Come on," Reid then stood up and extended his hand to Luke. They searched for their discarded clothing and made themselves presentable before Lily was invited inside. Luke's face was still a healthy shade of red when he opened the door for his mom.

"Hi mom," he said and plastered a soft smile on his face. Reid was standing a little further inside the room, just next to their couch. He managed to calm his body, but he figured that Lily's surprise entrance had helped with that.

"Hi baby," she answered as she entered and lightly kissed him on the cheek. She was about to say hello to Reid when Ethan came running inside. He was 10 now and had even more energy than he did when he was five; if that was even physically possible.

"Reid! Reid!" he yelled as he ran straight into the older redhead. Ethan slammed into Reid torso and his arms went around the man. Reid let out a loud 'hmph' when their bodies met. He hugged the small boy back and Luke looked on them with a smile. Ethan looked up at Reid and asked in all seriousness, "Where's my room?"

"Ah, what was that?" Reid asked Ethan, while looking at Luke.

"Luke said that get to stay over and I want to see my room."

"Ethan, sweetie. Why don't we let them get settled in for a while and then we get work out a day when you can spend the night. Ok?" Lily said, trying to placate her youngest. Ethan looked from his mother, to Reid, to Luke, and then back to his mother. He knew that he was beat, he acquiesced and shrugged in response. He ran off to explore the rest of the house and left the adults in the living room. The three of them remained silent for a minute or so, before Lily spoke; she had to say something.

"I'm sorry that I didn't call. I should have realized, this is your house after all."

"It's ok Lily. Why don't we just _not_ talk about it anymore? I think we all learned something today."

"Like what?" Luke asked, loosely folding his arms over his chest.

"Well, as Lily said, she will call next time she wants to come over and you learned to lock the front door," Reid replied matter-of-factly. Luke and Lily exchanged looks, but could not help but laugh at Reid's attempt to break the tension in the room.

"How about we break into the groceries I brought over?" Lily asked and then pointed to the half dozen canvas groceries bags sitting on the front stoop.

"Ohh! I like that idea!" Reid exclaimed and went to grab the bags. Next to making love to Luke, food and anything food related was Reid's favorite past time. Luke and Lily each grabbed a couple and the three of them set to filling the engaged couple's new kitchen.

* * *

After three hours, a shared lunch of sandwiches with potato salad, and Ethan mapping out "his" new room, Luke and Reid were alone again. They collapsed on the couch and Luke nuzzled into Reid's side. Don't misunderstand, Luke loved his family very much and he loved being home, but to live in Oakdale and not with them, was pretty awesome. Luke moved even closer into Reid's side, burying his face into Reid's neck. He could smell the remnants of Reid's aftershave, the mustard from his huge sandwich, and little tinge of sweat from their time alone before his mother came in. Luke was always aware of smells. Food, cologne, people. It was one the first things that he noticed about Reid. Originally, he couldn't stand the man and dreaded every moment he had to spend with him, but he had to admit that the man smelled good.

Reid didn't take much time when it came to his appearance. Not to say that he didn't care. He just did it right the first time. His hair nearly styled itself. He didn't bother with fancy soaps or body washes, Dove bar soap was enough. He used the same aftershave his dad used when he taught his son to shave. His body chemistry took over the rest. All of these scents mingling together on his soft skin and Luke is obsessed. He was known to smell Reid's warm skin while Reid slept. Being close to him and being able to smell him was just one of the _many_ perks of being in a relationship with Dr. Reid Oliver.

And that was what Luke was doing now. His nose was lightly brushing against the skin on Reid's neck and Luke was partaking in his favorite scent. Reid.

Reid was lightly brushing his fingers up and down Luke's spine while his fiancé's warm breath moved against Reid's neck. Reid could feel goose bumps erupt all over his body while Luke's lips softly grazed his clavicle. Luke smiled against Reid's skin when he felt the redhead take in a sharp breath. Luke's left hand came up and lightly rested on Reid's neck. He made small circles with his thumb just under Reid's chin and felt him groan ever so softly. Luke lightly chuckled as Reid's body responded to him. Luke loved that he still had this affect on Reid after all these years together. As much as he loved teasing Reid, he loved tasting him even more. Luke slowly drew his tongue across the skin just under Reid's jaw and the redhead was squirming.

Reid's pulse shot straight up and he felt like his body was on fire. His head dropped back and Luke had room to play with. He turned to face Reid even more and straddled his leg. It wasn't as close as their previous make-out session, but Luke was able to alleviate some of the tightness in his jeans by rubbing against Reid's thigh.

"Luke…gah," Reid was only able to get a couple sounds together, forget about whole words. Luke's knee was nestled closely against the tightness in his own pants. His hand slid up Luke's back and tangled deeply in his hair while his other pulled at Luke's hips. Luke groaned into Reid's ear when his hardness rubbed sharply against Reid's thigh. Pulling at the back of Luke's head, Reid captured Luke's mouth. Reid loved how soft and strong Luke's lips were. They were like nothing he ever felt before. He was known to completely lose track of time and everything around him when Luke kissed him. And now was no different.

Reid shifted on the couch and Luke found himself on his back with Reid nestled between his thighs. Reid's hands slipped under Luke's thin t-shirt and moved against his warming skin. Luke bit down on Reid's bottom lip in surprise when Reid lightly pinched Luke's nipple. Those jolts of pain drove both of them a little bit crazy; both of them wanting more. Quicker than either one of them realized, shirts were gone, pants were forced open, or hands were roaming deep inside.

"Reid, Reid," Luke was quietly saying. Reid was so intent on tasting the sweat that was forming on Luke's skin, that he barely heard his partner speaking. It took Luke pushing Reid back before he finally heard him.

"What?" He asked breathlessly. Luke's face was flushed, he was panting for air and his hair was standing up in every different angle possible.

"The door."

"What? I thought you locked it," Reid joked with a smirk playing across his face and crawled back up towards Luke mouth. Before Reid could reach his destination, pounding could be heard coming from outside.

"Reid! Are you in there?" A voice called through the door. Reid collapsed on top of Luke; his forehead resting on Luke's chest. Katie had terrible timing.

"Seriously? I am ever going to get time alone with you?" Reid asked into Luke chest.

"This is what you agreed to when we decided to move back."

"I think I forgot that the craziness that is _Oakdale_ is contagious and their lives would become our problem."

"I really need to talk to you!" _Damn her voice carries!_

"You better get that," Luke whispered and kissed the top of Reid's head. Reid let out a long groan and reached for his discarded shirt. He inwardly groaned when Luke pulled his shirt over his head and covered his body. He was going to punish Katie later for making Luke cover his insanely hot body and for interrupting them. Reid let out a hard breath and went to answer the door.

Katie pushed inside the house and passed the both of them. She dropped her bag on the coffee table and immediately went in on how angry Chris was making her.

"I swear I am going to kill my husband."

"I can make it look like natural causes," Reid offered, which resulted in a smack in the chest from Luke. Katie whipped around and took stock of their appearances.

"Did I interrupt something?" Rumpled clothes, flushed skin, and disheveled hair…yeah she interrupted something. "Sorry, I can go.,"

"No, no Katie its fine," Luke said trying to reassure Katie.

"Yeah, it's swell. Things have a…diminished already. What seems to be the problem?"

"It's Chris. All he does is work and when he does come home he either sleeps or expects me to put out."

"Katie, TMI! What can I do to fix this so you can leave and I can get back to, other things," he said and caught Luke's eyes. Luke gave Reid a sympathetic look and squeezed his arm to accentuate his point. Luke closed the front door and turned to face his blonde cousin and his redheaded fiancé.

"I'll make some coffee," Luke said and started for the kitchen.

"Don't bother. Not like I can't have any anyway," Katie answered without even thinking.

"What?" Luke and Reid asked at the same time. Katie looked at her two friends and realized what she just said.

"Nothing. I didn't say anything," Katie quickly said, knowing that wouldn't do any good at all.

"Yes you did. Oh my god! Katie," Luke said trying to control the excitement and the wobbling in his voice. His voice trembled and Katie looked as if she was about to lose it. Reid was more worried about losing his lunch due to this overabundance of tears that would soon be leaking everywhere.

Reid stood in shock at Katie's slip of the tongue. His expression went from shock to horror as he partner and his best friend met in a blubbering mess. They looked like two teen girls at a slumber party. Reid rolled his eyes while he watched them hug and cry. 'My god,' he muttered to himself. If he hadn't seen Luke naked many times to prove the contrary, he would wonder if he was more girl than man.

"I am so happy for you," Luke said with tears of joy rolling down his face. That sentiment made Katie even more.

"All right, all right," Reid said over the wailing. He needed to break this up, before things were too far gone. He pulled on Luke's shoulder and they separated. "Katie, please sit down. You," pointing at Luke, "go in the kitchen and get something sweet from the pantry. And grab a couple bottles of water," Luke wiped the tears from his eyes and went into the kitchen.

Reid sat down next to Katie and tried to get her to calm down. Strong as Katie was, he knew once she stated to cry, she couldn't stop. Luke was the same way. That was why he sent him into the kitchen to get Katie something to eat. If they both took a step back for a minute, the atmosphere in the house would relax and the leaking would stop.

"Ok. Now that the waterworks are over, how far long are you?" Reid asked in a calm voice. This tone was what Luke called his "Doctor" voice. Katie sniffled lightly, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand before she answered.

"11 weeks."

"Ok, you're in your first trimester yet. Have you been having cramping, morning sickness, mood swings?"

"Yeah, why?" Katie asked as Luke came out of the kitchen. He was carrying a couple different bags of candy and three bottles of water. He set the food down in front of Katie on the coffee table

"Because, blondie, your hormones are bouncing you off every wall. Is it any wonder that you cry at the drop of a hat and are pissed at your husband? Though I understand the latter," Reid teased and received a light smack from Luke and Katie in turn. Katie grabbed for the king size bag of almond M&M's off the coffee table and quickly tore into it. "Now, I'm sure that Doogie does deserve most of the ire you throw at him, but are you sure that he deserved it this time?"

Katie looked up from her snack at her two friends expecting an answer. She knew that coming over here would make her feel better, but now she was feeling guilty for bothering them at all. She swallowed her mouthful of candy and tried to answer Reid.

"No, probably not. I just got so angry and _may_ have overreacted. And then I came over here and bother you guys when you were finally get your lives together here. I am so happy for you guys," she said as the tears started to fall again. She was quickly sliding into crying again and Reid had to stop her before it went too far.

"Stop, stop, stop. Breathe. Breathe. It's ok, just call next time," Reid said softly, watching her face to be sure that the tears had stopped. He breathed a sigh of relief when the light came back into her eyes. "All clear in there?" He asked Katie and she gave him a 'you better watch yourself' look. Reid quickly shut up.

A knock on the door broke up the tension in the room and confusion came across Reid and Katie's faces.

"I called Chris," Luke said as he got up from couch and opened the front door. Chris was standing just outside the threshold of Luke and Reid's house. His hands were in his pockets and he had a sheepish look on his face. Luke suddenly wondered how much yelling, directed at him from Katie, caused that look.

"Hey Luke. I'm here for my wife," Chris said with a chuckle as he looked over Luke's shoulder and saw Katie sitting next to Reid on the couch. She looked like she had been crying, a lot. He was completely mystified as to why Katie flew off the handle at him when he got home this afternoon and then left without a word. He should have known that she would come here. He was leery of Reid moving back to Oakdale, but if it made Katie happy; he would just have to deal with it.

Katie stood up and the two met just inside the house. She wrapped her arms around Chris' waist and he pulled the small blonde closer to him. She let out a long sigh and turned to face her friends. Luke stepped up behind Reid and wrapped his arms around him. Reid laced his fingers with Luke hands as they rested on his abs.

"Thanks. I'll talk to you later," she said to both of them. Reid nodded in response and watched them leave. All the tension in his body let go, like snapping a rubber band, as soon as the door latched shut. Luke could feel Reid's body loosen; he tightened his hold on him to keep him on his feet.

"That was something. Want to get some dinner?" Luke asked. Reid turned to face him. Luke could see something in Reid's eye. It looked a lot like mischief.

"Where's your phone?" Reid asked Luke. A confused Luke reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone; only to have it snatched away. Reid walked over to the other side of their living room to a small writing desk. He opened the center drawer and dropped his phone, his beeper, and Luke's phone into it. He then slammed the drawer shut. Luke then watched as he walked to the front door and flipped the dead bolt. He then walked through their kitchen and Luke could hear the back door lock click. He then heard the fridge open and then shut. Reid entered the living room carrying their leftover pizza from last night and several bottles of water.

"Ah, what, pray tell, are you doing?"

"Well, the phones are secured; away from us. The doors are all locked down. I am carrying provisions, and I am taking you upstairs, where I hope to have at least twelve hours of uninterrupted sex with you," Reid explained and raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Twelve hours?"

"Well," he said with a long pause. "I was low balling it,"

Luke decided to ignore is double entendre and seductively walked towards the stairs while taking off his shirt. Reid pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and watched the sexiest man alive walking towards their bedroom. He followed quickly behind, making sure to turn off all the lights as he went.

No one was going to interrupt them for rest of the night and into the next morning.

No one!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...whatta think?  
> Let me know. Hit review and let me know! Feedback gets me to come back to my laptop!  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - Luke and Reid do a little bit of marching.  
> Stay Tuned!


	44. Full Circle (Nuke)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Chapter Thirty-Nine of my Nuke Storyline.  
> I had a real hard time writing this chapter. I hope you guys like it.  
> ENJOY!

Noah had been busying himself all day. Luke was coming for a visit and he had planned to stay the **_whole_** weekend. Noah had managed to get the entire Fourth of July weekend off. Today was Friday and he didn't have to be at work until Tuesday morning. He was going to be stuck working the next two holidays, but it was so worth it. He was going to be seeing Luke. It had been nearly eight months since the picnic they shared in their old apartment in Oakdale. Those eight months were filled with long phone calls, huge emails, and flirty texts. They had been slowly working through all of the things that had tripped them up in the first place.

Noah was coming to terms with his self-loathing issues, stemming from his father. While Luke was trying to stay independent while still being a relationship, a trait he was sure came from his mom. Both men really wanted this to work this time around. Because, deep down, they still loved each other and wanted to see where this could go.

He had been cleaning for three days. Brando quickly made himself scarce when his owner got like this. Really all it took was for Noah to turn on the vacuum cleaner and the Australian Shepherd went running for the guest room.

The guest room. Noah offered the room to Luke, who reluctantly took it. Noah dared to dream that Luke would want to stay in his room with him tonight, but he was also a realist. Plus he had promised Luke no pressure while they worked through things. But Noah was satisfied to know that Luke was going to be staying in the apartment at least. Almost as good…almost.

Noah was putting the finishing touches on this apartment when the door bell rang. He felt his heart leap into his throat and he tried to calm his nerves. He pulled down the edge of his blue polo and tried to straighten out any wrinkles. With one more long breath, he went to answer the door.

* * *

Luke stood in the hallway just outside Noah's apartment. He had his suitcase with him and the butterflies in his stomach. He was nervous. This would be the first time that he would be spending time with Noah, just the two of them, in a very long time. The last time was probably the Christmas just after Noah's accident. When Luke sat with Noah and gave him the care package that he was going to send while he was at rehab. But Noah was still angry then. Now Noah was almost like he was when they first got together. He was funny and warm; self-effacing and kind. This was the Noah that Luke fell in love with. Not the man that broke up with him nearly seven years before.

And that scared Luke. Because Noah had hurt him worse that anyone ever had. His and Noah's relationship had changed him. He was never the same after Noah and their break-up had nearly destroyed him. He was taking a huge leap of faith in even thinking about trying again. He wanted to believe that Noah had changed, that they could make it work. He was _**really trying**_ to see if they could make it work this time, because, truth be told, he still loved Noah. He was just trying to see how far it would take him this time. Luke was trying to give Noah another chance while still protecting his heart, but the more he talked to Noah, the harder it was to keep those two things separate; his mind and his heart. Luke let out a long breath and knocked on Noah's door. This weekend would be a defining moment in their relationship; Luke could just feel it.

To say that their first few conversations were awkward would be a huge understatement. Neither Luke nor Noah knew where to start. They shared idle chit chat for the first couple conversations and it seemed that they were destined to this, casual friends. But, surprisingly it was Noah who opened the door to a real conversation. He got home from work one Friday and sat down at his laptop. He composed a long email to Luke. It took him all weekend to say what he was feeling.

_**Dear Luke,** _

_**I know I was given a major gift when you agreed to give us another chance and I am willing to wait as long as I need to. You have no idea how knowing you has changed my life for the better. I was finally able to honest with myself. You gave me the strength and the knowledge that being myself was more than enough. That my dad had been wrong about me; I was worth so much more than he ever showed me.** _

_**You taught me to love and accept love in return. For the first time in my life I felt unconditional love. So I thank you for that.** _

_**I'll be honest, for a while, I thought meeting you was a curse. I had never wanted someone so badly in my entire life. I was still trying to play straight and I craved you. Literally craved you. Seeing you every day, it was what I got up for. When I knew that I was going to see you, I would get so nervous and excited all at the same time. What I felt for you was so strong that it scared me. It was so strong and so all encompassing that I almost felt like I was drowning. So I fought it. I fought against you. Even when we were finally together. I never did give myself fully yo you. I was afraid of giving in to something that scared me so much. I am so sorry for that and I hope that I can rectify that with you now.** _

_**I think about you and us all the time. I am so thankful that you are willing to forgive me for the horrible things I said and did the past. I swear that I will not make you regret giving me and us another chance.** _

_**I love you Luke.** _

_**I'm not scared of that anymore.** _

_**I'm only scared of losing you.** _

_**All my love,** _

_**Noah** _

After that, their phone conversations became a little less awkward. Luke was able to relax and Noah was able to open up.

* * *

Luke knocked on the door again and waited. He fumbled with his laptop bag and tried to push his shaking hands into his pockets. Luke heard someone on the other side of the door, along with a dog bark.

"Brando! Shut UP!" Luke heard Noah yell through gritted teeth. Luke's hand covered his mouth as he tried to keep his laughing quiet, but Luke did smile at the vision of Noah chasing after his dog. A couple locks were released and the door opened. Noah was standing there in a medium blue polo, dark wash jeans and no shoes. Luke never admitted this to anyone, but he had a thing for bare feet. At first he thought it was in general, but he tested that theory with each subsequent boyfriend, but he came to realize that it was just Noah. Luke Snyder was a closet lover of Noah Mayer's bare feet.

"Hi," Noah said with a beaming smile. It was the kind that made his eyes shine.

"Hi," Luke answered; pulling his attention from Noah feet and to his face.

"Come on in," Noah gestured for Luke to enter and took Luke's suitcase for him. Luke entered and gave the place a once over. Luke could see Noah's military upbringing in how he decorated.

Noah's place was neat and orderly, as Luke knew it would be. There were bookcases on two sides of his living room and his kitchen was beyond the space, separated by a breakfast bar. The building was old, like most of the neighborhood, and the huge windows in the kitchen proved that. The five foot tall windows let a lot of natural light flow through the entire apartment. There was a small hallway between the front door and the kitchen doorway, which Luke assumed led to bedrooms.

Noah was never one for fancy, but he did love comfort. That was plain to see by his living room furniture. The old tattered couch looked perfect for movie nights or a nap in the afternoon. The recliner just to the right of the couch was well-built and made for lounging. As Luke stepped further into the apartment, he could fully see the book shelves and their contents.

Luke could not hold back his laughter. Noah heard Luke and wanted to know what was so funny. He closed the front door, stepped next to Luke's side, and looked around the room.

"What's so funny?" He asked; looking from the room back to Luke.

"Nothing, just. Your bookcases. Everything is in alphabetical order."

"Yeah. Well," his cheeks started to reddened and he rubbed his hands together, "how can I find anything if I don't know where it is?" he explained further and pushed his hands into his pockets.

"No, you're right," Luke said with a smirk.

"You, shut up. Why don't you let me help you?" Noah reached for Luke's suitcase, which he relinquished immediately. Noah grabbed the handle and picked up the bag. Noah groaned at the heft of it. "Some things never change. You still over pack, don't you?" Noah started down the hall and towards what would be Luke's room.

"You shush! You never know what you may need. I plan for every contingency."

"Right," Noah cast over his shoulder as he opened the bedroom door. The room was simple. A queen sized bed sat against one wall with a nightstand on one side. There was also a desk with a small lamp on it and a dresser just beside it.

"Is this all right?" Noah asked as he placed Luke's suitcase on the bed. He would never admit it to Luke or anyone else, but the fact that Luke came from money was always intimidating. Luke rarely flashed his wealth or tried to make Noah uncomfortable, but it was always there whether he thought about it or not. When they broke up and Noah was going through things with a psychologist, he realized that part of him always felt that he wasn't good enough for Luke. He would never be able to take care of Luke the way he deserved. Noah was sure that it was a leftover from his dad's view of relationships.

"Noah, this is perfect," Luke answered, sensing Noah feeling uneasy. He never needed much and this would work just fine. Luke had been nervous about staying Noah's apartment. He had a reservation at a hotel downtown just in case this got weird or awkward. He actually checked in and then got a taxi to bring him to Noah's place. He was going to pay for the room and have it at the ready. The last few months, getting to know Noah again, had been great, but he was worrying about the other shoe dropping. To be more accurate he was worrying about their past problems coming up to bite them and ruining their first weekend together.

"Ok. Well, I leave you alone for a bit. I'm gonna start dinner. The bathroom is just through that door there," he said pointing to a door parallel to the left side of the bed. "It does connect into my bedroom. Ah, you can lock both doors from inside," he was babbling a little and Luke decided to put him out of his misery.

"Ok, thanks. I'll just get a little freshened up and I'll be out to help you."

"No rush. I want to make you dinner. Take your time," Noah said shyly. He felt awkward around Luke; he was trying to relax, but he just couldn't. Luke nodded and Noah slipped out into the hallway. They each let out small sighs of relief. They both knew it was going to difficult at first and they each hoped that things got better.

And soon.

* * *

Luke came out of his room about twenty minutes later. He made a few calls and changed into jeans and a t-shirt only to find Noah busy cooking. Luke leaned against the kitchen's door frame and watched him. Noah was standing at the stove, stirring and tasting his tomato sauce. He had decided on simple spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. He just couldn't get the flavor he wanted. He wasn't sure if he needed garlic or onion or simple salt and pepper. He turned away from the stove and finished prepping the garlic bread for the oven. Noah was so focused he never saw Luke and Luke was all right with that. Noah looked so relaxed, at ease. He saw that when Noah came home for Emma's funeral. He was even more so now. Luke knew that when they were together the first time, Noah was still coming to terms with so many things. Being gay, all the things with his dad, and living a life that was completely different than how he was raised. Luke knew that Noah never regretted coming out or starting a life with him, but there was always an undercurrent of unease in him. It was as if he was never truly himself. But watching him now, Luke could see that he was finally comfortable in his own skin. That was all Luke had ever wished for him and he was so glad to see it. Luke had been dreading this trip. He wanted to see Noah and spend time with him. The last few months had been so great, getting to know him again, but he was a little worried if they would be able to carry that over into real life.

Noah slid the garlic bread into the oven and turned back to see Luke standing in the doorway. He gasped and jumped when his eyes focused on Luke.

"God! You scared me! Not use to someone else being here."

"You don't make dinner for your other dates?" Luke teased.

"What dates?" Noah said and he could feel his cheeks warm. He blushed a light pink when he realized how much he had revealed. Luke could see how uncomfortable he was and quickly changed the subject; hoping to make him feel better.

"What can I help you with?"

"I was actually waiting for you. Can you taste the sauce? It needs something and I can't figure out what it is," Noah said while chopping the tomatoes for their salad. Luke walked across the small kitchen and up to the stove. He picked up the wooden spoon and dipped it into the sauce. He brought the hot marinara to his lips and took a tentative taste. When they were dating, Noah wasn't big on cooking. It wasn't that he didn't want to or that he thought it was beneath him, Noah just never learned how. That was probably why Luke was so drawn to the display of Noah cooking.

And he was right. The sauce did need something. He looked at the back of the stove and saw a myriad of different spice bottles resting there. He grabbed a couple different bottles and shook some of each into the sauce; stirring it when he was finished. Tasting the sauce again…he nailed it.

"Here. Taste this," Luke said and then dipped the spoon into the sauce. He held the spoon up and allowed Noah to taste from it. They were about a foot from each other. Luke could smell Noah's aftershave and Noah could smell the mint from Luke's toothpaste. Noah licked some remaining sauce off his lips and Luke felt his heart flip flop at the quick glimpse of Noah tongue. Noah looked up from the spoon and his eyes locked onto Luke's. He had almost forgotten how soft Luke's eyes were.

"Yeah, that's perfect. Can you check the noodles?"

"Sure," he said; Luke felt a little breathless. As he turned to the stove to check the noodles, he had one thought.

Maybe he was worried for no reason. Things seemed to be progressing just fine.

* * *

Dinner went well. They ate, talked, laughed, Noah told Luke how he came to adopt Brando. Everything was like it was when they lived in Oakdale. They were relaxing with each other. Luke felt that unease that he had when he got to Noah apartment slowly breaking up, like clouds after a storm. Noah had insisted that Luke go into the living room and relax while he put the rest of their dinner away. Noah always did make too much food.

When wiped his hands and joined Luke in the living room. He stopped just shy of the couch when he saw Luke on couch with Brando curled up right next to him. He smiled slightly and felt his heart melt just a little.

"He is never like that with new people," Noah said quietly as he sat down on the couch on the opposite end. He turned to face Luke, tucking his right foot under him.

"Well, that just proves that I am exceptional."

"I agree with that," Noah answered, not looking away from Luke. Luke looked up at Noah and couldn't hold back his smile. Noah loved to say things like that and watch Luke get bashful. Luke was always pretty confident except when someone flirted with him. He would get a bit tongue-tied and his cheeks would flush. Luke could feel his body flush and his pulse speed up.

"I better get to bed," Luke said after clearing his throat. He needed to turn down the tension in the air. He was afraid of going too fast. He wanted this to work and sleeping with right away would not be a great foundation to build on. He stood and Noah followed. "You promised to show me around Boston."

"Yeah, there's a great restaurant I wanted to take you to."

"I do want to hit that "Chocolate Bar" I was telling you about," Luke said with a small glint in his eyes. Noah laughed out loud when he remembered one of their last conversations about his upcoming visit. Noah asked his if there were any sites he wanted to visit while he was staying. Luke immediately said the Langham Hotel. Noah was confused until Luke explained. He had seen a show on the Travel Channel and the café in the Langham Hotel was showcased. They were famous for their Chocolate Bar; a huge chocolate buffet that served every possible chocolate dish and treat imaginable.

"At the Langham Hotel? Only you would make that a destination on a vacation," Noah said with a laugh.

"I can't say no to chocolate," Luke was getting that first-date feeling. That feeling at the end of the first date when you wonder if you should kiss them or not. He wanted to, but he was afraid of going too far too fast. Suddenly Luke realized something…he has been thinking too much. He stepped to Noah; he could see the brunette take in a quick breath, like he could read Luke's mind. Luke reached up and softly cupped Noah's left cheek. Luke could feel Noah lean into his hand. His skin was so warm to the touch; almost burning Luke's palm. Noah's eyes slid closed and he lightly brushed his lips across Luke's warm palm. Luke felt his breath catch in his chest when he felt Noah's warm breath on his skin; goosebumps erupted all over his body. He knew what he wanted, but at the last possible moment he pulled back and coughed nervously. Noah almost stumbled forward when Luke stepped back, but recovered quickly.

"We better get to bed. Big day tomorrow. You did promise me the sites."

"Yeah, I did. Goodnight Luke."

"Goodnight Noah."

Both men slowly walked to their respective bedrooms and closed the doors. Each wondering what the other was thinking just a moment ago in the living room.

* * *

The next morning Luke and Noah left the apartment early after a big breakfast that Noah made for the both of them. Noah was spoiling Luke and he was enjoying spoiling his boyfriend. Almost as much as Luke liked getting spoiled by his boyfriend. Neither one had used the moniker to describe the other yet, but that was how they saw each other. They wondered around the city all day. The town was ready for the holiday weekend. The home of Patriotism was decked out in red, white, and blue as far as the eye could see.

They didn't even pay attention to where they were until Luke noticed the large red brick buildings and the kids in maroon and white t-shirts. They were close to Harvard. He didn't even realize that they had made it to Cambridge. They came around a long brick wall that surrounded a huge common area. Luke looked past the open gateway and saw a dozen people sitting and standing around a set of four tables; two chairs at each table. The group of mostly old men were playing chess. Luke smiled when he saw a boy about eleven playing among them. Noah saw Luke stop and just looked at him.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm just imaging Reid playing with those guys. He use to when he was younger, when he lived here with his parents, before they died. He got to be pretty good…," Luke looked behind him and saw Noah walking towards a bench; away from the chess players. Luke followed him and sat down next to him.

"What wrong?" Luke asked as he sat down next to him. Noah rubbed his hands over his face and turned to face the blonde.

"Even now, I can't get away from him."

"Noah."

"Luke, I'm serious. We are trying to make a go at this and you bring him up," Noah was frustrated and trying to keep his frustrations in check.

"Noah, he's still a part of my life. I would not be who I am without him, just like I won't be who I am without you. I'm still going to care about him. He is still one of my closest friends."

"It's just, he came between us."

"No. He didn't. We were broken up. _**We**_ came between us. And you have nothing to worry about. Because, you know what?" Luke asked with a slight smirk and Noah shook his head no. "He and I, broke up. And I want this," Luke gestured from Noah and back to himself, "between us to work. I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

"I know that. I really do," Noah sighed. "I'm sorry. Old wounds."

"Hey, it's ok. Besides, you're kind of sexy when you're jealous."

"Really?" Noah asked with a raised eyebrow and sexy smirk; his voice dropped an octave.

"Yeah, just don't make a habit out of it," Luke said with a wink. Noah couldn't resist when he looked at him like that. He leaned towards Luke and gave him a soft kiss. Luke felt his cheeks flush and his heart skipped a beat. Luke dropped his gaze to his joined hands and hoped Noah didn't notice his embarrassment. Oh, Noah noticed and he took pleasure in the fact that he could still make Luke blush.

"I'll try. Now I think I promised you chocolate."

"Oh, yay!" They got up from their seat and walked towards the curb to catch a cab.

* * *

Noah wanted to walk off the four thousand calories worth of chocolate that they had just consumed and convinced Luke to walk the rest of the way. They walked side by side; their shoulders and arms brushing against each other. Noah wanted to hold Luke's hand. He wasn't sure if Luke would want him to or if he should ask him first. That was a major stumbling block in their relationship right now. He wasn't quite sure where they stood, physically. Noah was so lost in his thoughts about whether or not to hold Luke's hand, he almost stumbled when he felt Luke's fingers weave between his. Noah's pulse spiked when he felt Luke's palm rest against his. They walked another couple blocks and Luke broke the silence between them.

"Thank you," Luke whispered.

"For what?" Noah was a little confused. He was glad that Luke was thankful for something he did, but he also wanted to know what he had done to warrant a thank you; he wanted to do whatever it was over and over again before Luke flew home on Tuesday.

"For today. For the great date. I almost forgot how easy it is to be with you."

"I'm only half the equation here Luke."

"Yeah. Maybe you're right," Luke says softly and pulled Noah to a halt. Noah stopped and stood in front of Luke. He could almost feel Luke's eyes burning through his. Luke squeezed his hand tighter around Noah's; Noah's breath caught in his chest. As if they were reading each other's thoughts, their heads slowly moved towards each other. Luke licked his lips, causing Noah to bit on his lower lip in anticipation. Later, neither one could tell you who started the kiss, but neither one want it to end.

Noah's hand cups Luke's cheek, he is not wanting the blonde to move. Luke curls his fingers through the hair at the nape of Noah's neck; lengthening their kiss. Noah licks across Luke's lower lip, hoping to gain admittance. Luke obliged and Noah relished the feeling of his tongue against Luke's. A soft whimper was heard and they would both insist later that it came from the other man. With their hands still linked they attempted to deepen their locking. They both start taking little gasps of air in between kisses. Neither one wanted to stop, even to take in a full breath.

What does finally stop them is the loud thunderclap and sudden downpour that drenches them almost immediately. They pulled back and Noah started to look for a cab. After finally hailing one, the two drenched men pile into the back and Noah gave the driver his address. Luke rubbed his hand through his hair, combing the wet tangles back and off his face. It is then that he realized that his and Noah's hands are still linked together. He looked at Noah as he rubbed the dripping water out of his eyes. Luke pulls his hand free and Noah's face dropped ever so slightly in disappointment. Luke then reassured him.

"No. It's so I can do this," Luke said and cups Noah's face in his hands; pulling him in for a kiss. Noah is a little surprised, but quickly surrendered to Luke and his impossibly soft tongue. The driver looked up into his rear view mirror and saw the two men making out. He quickly pulled over and slammed on his brakes to accentuate the gesture.

"What?" Noah asked after almost hitting the plastic partition.

"No monkey business! Nothing against you boys, but no hanky-panky in my cab. If you two can't wait, then you're hoofing it," the grey-haired man said. Noah and Luke each exchanged a look with the driver and then with each other.

"We're two blocks from my place," Noah said and the opened the door. Luke gave the driver a twenty and slid across the seat to the door, but not before giving the older man some food for thought.

"You're just jealous. You should be…he is really hot," Luke gave the driver a wink and left the back seat.

The door slammed shut and he watched the two boys take off into the downpour. He let out a long sigh and turned his "On Duty" light off. He decided to get out of the rain himself and go home. He suddenly had the urge to go home and see his wife.

* * *

Noah, after a lot of fumbling and bodies pressed together against the door, got the lock open and the two men fell into the quiet apartment. The only sounds that could be heard in the room was the rain on the windows and the two men gasping for air. Before they knew it, they were in Noah's bedroom. Neither one talked, they just reacted. Shoes were toed off, wet shirts were peeled off and then Luke was straddling Noah's waist. He splayed his hands across Noah's chest and ground his body down into Noah's. Luke pulled back slightly and locked eyes with Noah. His pupils were blown wide and his blue pools were darkening by the millisecond. Luke never looked away as he slid his hand into Noah's boxer briefs. Noah groaned and arched into Luke's hand.

"I want you so much Luke."

"I'm right here Noah," Luke said in a husky voice; his warm breath coasting over Noah's wet skin. Noah rocked his hips and rolled Luke onto his back. Luke legs wrapped around Noah's waist and pulled the brunette harder against him. Luke threw his head back as Noah's lips latched onto Luke's neck.

This was exactly what Luke had been hoping would happen when he agreed to this trip. As Noah's lips moved down Luke's squirming body, he made a mental note to cancel his reservation at the Four Seasons. He knew now that he would not be needing his backup plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, whatta think?  
> I hope it lived up to the rest of the story.  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - The End  
> Stay Tuned!


	45. The Rest of Their Lives (Lure)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This the second to the last chapter of Lure part of this story.  
> I hope you enjoy it!  
> It was a lot of fun to write this.  
> ENJOY!

"Damn thing! I don't know why I have to wear it!" Reid cussed as he stood in front of the mirror in his bathroom.

"What are you whining about?" Katie shouted back from the bedroom. She finished lacing her sandal and stepped in behind him. She looked over his shoulder and saw him fiddling with his tie. "C'mere," she said as she spun him around. "You're a neurosurgeon; you have to be good with your hands. Plus, you have worn these before. Why are you having problems today?"

"Well, Lu…grb hmh," he mumbled under his breath.

"What?" She asked and gave his tie a healthy tug.

"Luke does this for me. I'm out of practice," he answered trying to sound as embarrassed as he was.

Luke had insisted on spending their last night of being single apart. Luke didn't want to see Reid until the ceremony. Reid scoffed at the tradition, calling it "corny and outdated". Luke was adamant that they go with tradition. With the state of weddings in Oakdale, you need all the luck you can get, Luke told him. As much as Reid wished he could argue, Luke's logic was sound. They were not going to tempt the fates, not on their wedding day. Reid was pulled from his thoughts by Katie.

"Awww! You are just a great big girl, aren't you?"

"You. Take that back!"

"Nah. I love this side of you," Katie teased and smoothed down his tie. Reid groaned and straightened his tie a bit more. He was keyed up, fidgety, Katie noticed and called him on it. "Hey, are you ok?"

"Fine," he replied quickly and brushed past her into the bedroom. Nope. Katie wasn't buying it. She turned and followed him in. He was moving back and forth in his and Luke's bedroom. Making sure he had everything, except his cell and his beeper. Those were safely locked away in the writing desk downstairs. Luke had managed to get Reid taken off the rotation schedule for the whole week. And the entire staff was under strict orders not to call Reid in for the next several days. He picked up his jacket from the bed and slipped it on.

"You're nervous, aren't you?"

"No. I don't do nervous."

"Well, you never did 'love' or 'relationships' either. Why are you nervous?" She asked and stepped in front of him to keep him from wearing a hole in the floor.

"I already told you that I'm not."

"Then why are you messing with your tie again?" She asked and brushed his hands away from the poor garment. She took his hands in hers, she could feel them shaking. "Reid. Talk to me?" Reid let out a long breath and knew that there was no way around this.

"What if you lose the rings? What if I forget my vows? What if Luke…?" Reid had started babbling and stopped himself before he voiced his last concern. Katie knew what he was thinking.

"Well, I have the rings in my bag. Safe and secure; Luke's best man will get yours just before the ceremony, so, no worries there. You have a photographic memory; you couldn't forget your vows even if you wanted to. And lastly, Luke will _**not**_ change his mind. He is going to be there. He loves you. He's _stupid_ in love with you," Katie said trying to reassure her best friend. Reid knew she was right, but he had this nagging doubt. The It's-too-good-to-be-true feeling. He loved Luke more than he had ever loved anyone. Deep down Reid was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"I know, I know. It's just…in Oakdale, hell, in my life, there is no such thing as happy endings. I'm waiting for reality to come and rear its ugly head."

"Reid, I'm gonna tell you something and I know that Luke would feel the same way. You, my dear friend, are marrying the man of your dreams. Sure it may not have started out perfect, but I have a feeling that the ending will be."

As much as Reid wanted to roll his eyes or call her a sentimental sap, she said exactly what he needed to hear. He was still a bit nervous, but at least now it was manageable. At least now he could convey aloofness. He knew as soon as he saw Luke, the weariness would fade away and everything would be right with the world.

"Now, come on! We got to get you hitched!" Katie said and then pulled Reid out of his bedroom and out of the house.

* * *

Luke looked out of his childhood bedroom window and saw the double roof gazebo that Jack and his dad had built for his wedding. He remembered coming home for Christmas last year and having the two Snyder men surprise him and Reid. Luke cried, not surprising, and Reid was speechless, very surprising. When they walked into the barn and saw the work that Holden and Jack had done, there were no words to express what they were feeling.

The gazebo wasn't big, about the size of a small porch, but it was beautifully put to together. The outer structure and the railing that ran around the bottom were white and the hardwood floor was a deep red. The cedar shingles were stained red to match the floor. They had placed it in the back yard of the "mommy mansion" (Reid's name not Luke's) and their flowers had been set up along each side of the small building. Lights had been strung from the gazebo and out to nearby trees. White folding chairs had been set in rows from the gazebo and back towards the house. A white carpet was rolled from the house and to the gazebo. They had decided to get married in the fall, Luke's favorite time of year, so the air was cool and the sun was warm.

Luke had a feeling of complete contentment that he had never felt before. It was finally happening, he was about to marry Reid Oliver. And to think at this time nearly seven years ago, he would have punched Reid in the throat if given the chance. On paper, the two of them shouldn't have worked. They were too different. Reid led with logic and his head. Luke followed his intuition and his heart. Reid was structured and methodical while Luke was carefree and easy-going. No, in another place and time, they would never have worked. But they just fit. They made sense. And Luke could not wait to be Mr. Luke Oliver.

Luke was lost in his own world when he finally heard the knocking on his bedroom door. He turned and told them to enter. The door slowly opened and his dad came in. He was wearing a dark grey suit and a striped grey tie. The older Snyder came inside and shut the door behind him. He was carrying a small black gift box.

"Hey dad."

"Luke. How ya' doing?"

"Good. Excited. Anxious to see Reid. What's that?" He finally asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. Holden laughed; he wondered how long it would take Luke to ask about it.

"This is for you," he said and then handed Luke the small velvet box. "It was in your Grandma Emma's things. I knew she would want you to have it," Luke was a bit confused until he opened the box.

"Dad," Luke exclaimed breathlessly.

"They belonged to your grandpa Harvey. He wore them on his wedding day to your grandma Emma," Holden relayed as Luke looked inside the box. Resting softly in the small box was a pair of antique silver and sapphire cufflinks. Luke remembered his grandma talking about them once when he was playing dress-up with Emma when he was about eight years old. Luke was clumping around her bedroom in a pair of his grandpa's old "Sunday shoes" and a fedora that kept falling in his eyes. Emma showed Luke pictures of his grandpa and showed him the cufflinks that she kept safely closed away in her jewelry box.

"Dad, wouldn't you want them or Meg or Uncle Seth?" He realized how important they were to his grandma and he just couldn't take them.

"Luke. You are starting a new life today and I know that if your grandma was here," Holden paused to swallow back the lump in his throat, "she would want you to have them. For good luck, if nothing else. Now don't argue with me. Your aunt Meg, Seth, and I all agreed. We want you to have them," Holden said and started to laugh even though he had tears resting at the edges of his eyes.

"Ok. No arguing," Luke said and then pulled one cufflink out of the box. "Can you help me with these?" Luke asked and Holden felt a surge of emotion flow through him. His son, and in so many ways his best friend, was asking for his help. Even at 29, on his wedding day, Luke was asking for his help and Holden was more than happy to help him.

* * *

Reid and Katie pulled into the driveway of the Walsh/Snyder/or whoever mommy mansion. Katie had managed to quell much of Reid's nerves, but he still a little knot that was coiling and curling at the pit of stomach. Deep down he knew that he was being ridiculous, but it was there none the less. Katie parked the car and they got out to walk to the house. A voice that made grown men cower came for their backs and they turned towards it. 

"Lucinda, aren't we looking lovely today?" Reid said as he watched Luke's grandmother walk across the drive, up to them. She had just arrived herself and exited her limo.

"My dear Reid, don't you look handsome. Katie, lovely as always," she said with a twinkle in her eye.

"Thank you, so are you," Katie looked from Lucinda to Reid and realized that Lucinda wanted to speak with her future grandson-in-law. "I'll meet you inside," she said to him and squeezed his hand before turning towards the house. Reid watched his friend go inside and turned back to face the formidable Lucinda Walsh.

"So, shall I escort you inside?" He was trying to smooze her and they both knew it. He extended his elbow out and she slipped her arm through it.

"Now, I'm sure you are waiting for the inevitable "If you hurt Luke…" speech. I volunteered to deliver it because I am probably the only person in Oakdale that intimidates you in the slightest. You hurt my grandson, I have resources, and they will never find your body," the two of them stopped and Reid gave her a sideways glance. He sighed in frustration.

"Why does everyone assume that I would be the one to hurt Luke? I would never. In fact, he would be much more likely to hurt me than I him," he voice turned serious and he looked her dead in her eyes. "I love him more I have ever loved _anything_ in my entire life. I promise that I will take care of him and honor him for the rest of my life."

"Well," she had to pause to stomp out the fluttering in her heart, "I could not ask for anything more." She honestly remarked and they continued into the house.

* * *

Luke was in his bedroom trying to quell his nervous stomach when he heard light tapping on the door. He was confused when he heard the tapping again.

"Who is it?"

"May I come in Mr. Snyder?" His voice came through the door. Luke laughed lightly and a smile spread across his face. He cracked the door open a little and he could smell Reid's aftershave. That smell was so comforting, like coming home.

"We don't want to break tradition now do we?" Luke teased. There was moment of silence and Reid asked a question that he needed to know before he and Luke went through with this.

"Why do you want to marry me?" He asked quietly. He heard Luke let out a soft sigh and the blonde fought the urge to pull open the door all the way; he just really wanted to hold his husband-to-be. He slipped his hand around the edge of the door and Reid's hand covered his almost as quickly.

"Because I love you; think I have loved you since the moment you came to town. Because I can't imagine my life without you in it. I cannot wait until I stand in front of everyone I care about and become Mr. Luke Oliver. You are everything to me. I thank god everyday for you," Luke said softly with an uncontrollable smile. Luke heard Reid let out a worried sigh. Luke could feel that Reid needed reassuring. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I am now," he answered softly.

"Close your eyes."

"What?" Reid asked.

"Close your eyes and don't open them until I tell you to," Luke said and linked his fingers around Reid's.

"I thought you didn't want us to see each other until the wedding."

"Reid! Do it!"

"All right. Fine."

Reid did indeed close his eyes; he knew Luke would just know if he left them open. He heard the door creak open and Luke's hand pulled Reid's from the edge of the door. He linked their fingers together and squeezed them tight. Reid could smell the mint in Luke's toothpaste and the vanilla in his shampoo. Luke's other hand lightly caressed his cheek and the blonde's thumb grazed softly across his lips. Reid felt the hairs stand up on the back of his neck as soon as Luke's lips brushed against his. He was surprised for a second and then leaned into Luke soft mouth. Both men moaned as the kiss deepened.

It was Luke to slowly disengage first. He brushed his thumb across Reid's lips.

"I love you," he whispered into Reid's ear. "Now, get downstairs. I'll meet you in the backyard in about 10 minutes," Luke stepped away and Reid heard the door shut. He opened his eyes and his knees nearly gave out. He leaned heavily against the door frame; his hands gripping the white woodwork. He got the answer he was hoping for. "Reid? Are you still there?"

"Uh, yeah,"

"Well, get out of here! Because the next time I kiss you I want to be able to see you too. GO!" Luke said laughing.

"Yes, Mr. Snyder. Ten minutes."

* * *

Reid stood just inside the house, in some sort of living room off the kitchen, and looked out over backyard. The chairs were slowly being filled with friends and family. Well, Luke's friends and family. He was nervously rubbing his hands together. He felt a thousand times better since having talked to Luke. And that kiss, was quite frankly, hot! In fact, his lips were still tingling. He was anxious to see Luke. He felt like he was in college again and waiting to get his MCAT scores. He stayed awake all night, mostly downing Jolt cola and coffee, so he could be the first to get to the administration office the next day. He was having the same feeling now. He knew that everything was going to come out perfectly fine, but he still could not wait.

"Reid?" He heard behind him and slowly turned towards the woman. There, standing in a beautiful ivory dress, was his future mother-in-law.

"Lily. You look beautiful."

"Thank you," she said and her cheeks blushed a light pink. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" She asked, almost unsure of herself. Reid fought the urge to say no. To walk away from her, but he had promised Luke a long time ago to make an effort. Well, he would try.

"Why not? I'm only about to get married," his old self showed himself as he gestured towards the kitchen. They walked through the living room and into the kitchen. They was no one inside, most were out back waiting for the wedding to start. He could see Lily was lightly wringing her hands together, almost unperceivable, but Reid was more observant than most. "Ah, what, ah, what did you want to talk about?"

"Well, I know that we didn't exactly get off on the right foot," Reid tried not to laugh out right at his future in-law. He bit his tongue to be sure that he didn't. He swore later that he tasted blood. "I will admit that I had a big hand in that, but I know that my son loves you very much. You make him happy; happier than he had been before you came to Oakdale, so I thank you for that. You saved his life at the hospital that day," he watched her swallow to push the bad memory away. He had the same feeling when he thought of that awful day. She quickly went on to her next thought. "He has become an amazing man, in large part due to you. So, I am going to look at this as a new point in our relationship. I know you are not a very sentimental man, but the moment you two are announced husband and husband, you will be my son too."

Now, the cynical doctor in his head was screaming at him to tease and berate the woman. She had never liked him and he thought that she secretly hoped that Noah was back in the picture. But realizing that he wasn't going anywhere, she slowly gave up on Noah and Luke riding off into the sunset.

That's what the cynical doctor would think.

It's a good think he isn't cynical.

"Well, ah, I, ah."

"Did I render you speechless?" She teased; trying to hide her smile. Reid noticed her smirk and returned it with one of his own.

"Yeah, you did. Thank you."

"You're welcome," she felt a weight lift off of her. She knew that wouldn't be having coffee dates or shopping together, but at least they were moving in the right direction. Luke loved this man and all Lily wanted was for Luke to be happy.

"I don't want to be rude, but are we done? I just _really_ want to see Luke," he said honestly. He really wasn't trying to offend her; he just wanted to get the wedding over with. He was dreading saying his vows in front of everyone; confessing how he felt. He really just honestly wanted to see Luke right now.

"Of course. I think everyone outside is getting antsy," she smiled and started to walk through the kitchen towards the backdoor.

"Lily?" She turned to face Reid. He took her hand in his and he had her full attention. "I promise you, I love Luke with everything I am. I will take good care of him, not as well as Luke will of me, but it's the best I can do," he said and smiled at her.

"I know you will. Thank you," she replied and then leaned forward. She kissed him lightly on the cheek and smiled at him before walking out into the back yard. Reid was alone now waiting for Luke.

He paced around a bit trying to work off a bit of his nervous energy. Normally, he had three different ways to burn off the energy. He would go to work. A few laps of rounds and he was totally calm. The second, he would go for a run. When he was living Dallas, whenever he was not working or sleeping, he was running. It was only way he could eat all that he does and still attract hot guys like Luke. The third and by far his favorite was sex. Frankly and honestly. He will admit that before he moved to Oakdale, he didn't partake in that activity as much as he does now. A huge perk to living a man ten years his junior. Comparing his life in Oakdale to his in Dallas, he works less, runs less, eats the same, so it would only make sense that he would need to "workout" with Luke more to keep himself fit and trim.

He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard a floorboard creak behind him. He looked over his shoulder and saw Luke coming through the kitchen and into the living room. He looked amazing. He was wearing his dark grey suit that hugged him all the right places. He was going without a tie. Normally that would have annoyed Reid, he's wearing a tie while Luke wasn't, but today he just didn't care. Luke's soft grey shirt was opened slightly at top, just enough for Reid to see that soft bit of skin at the base of his neck that he just loved to lick.

"Hey," Luke said as a smile broke out across his face and went all the way to his eyes.

"Hi," Reid said in a breath. He felt his heart rate speed up as he saw _that_ smile and then calm down when he felt Luke's hands slid into his.

"Are you ok now?" Luke asked, he could feel Reid grip his hands tighter as if he would disappear.

"I am now, yes," Luke smiled at his response. Reid let out a long breath and locked eyes with Luke.

"Well, Doctor Oliver," Luke reached up and adjusted Reid's tie, "shall we?"

"Yes, Mr. Snyder. After you," Reid linked his fingers with Luke's and they walked out into the backyard.

The music started, the couple continued down the aisle and all of their guests stood to greet them. They had decided that neither one of them was going to be given away and neither one of them was the bride. It didn't make sense to follow that tradition because honestly, they weren't exactly a traditional couple. As the two men walked up to where they would say their vows, they could see their wedding party. Katie was standing up for Reid, she insisted that she the Matron of Honor, and Casey was there for Luke, he was adamant that he was "Best Dude" versus Best Man. Only Casey. They stepped into their gazebo and then stood facing one another. They clasped tightly onto each other's hands and locked eyes.

This was it. There was no going back and they neither one would have it any other way.

* * *

"We are gathered here in front of family and friends to celebrate the love that Luke and Reid have for each other. Love is rare indeed and to find a love that changes your heart is even rarer. Seeing Luke and Reid together, I have seen that kind of love. Now, Luke and Reid have decided to recite their own vows," the minister concluded and turned to Reid. The redhead tightened his hold on Luke's hands, took a deep breath and jumped.

"I don't do sentimental very well, so I'll make this quick. Luke. When I first met you, you, well, you drove me crazy, quite frankly," laughter lightly floated from the assembled party. "It's true; utterly crazy. I could never figure out why. I had never met anyone like you before. You are giving, caring, loving, and all without asking for anything for yourself in return. You would move heaven and earth for someone you care about. I had never met anyone like that. And I think that was why you puzzled me so much. You were a riddle I couldn't figure out. I was not used to being confused. Katie told me, when I was getting ready this morning, that I was marrying the man of my dreams, but that's not entirely accurate. Because you see, I didn't know what I wanted until I met you. I was content with living my life in Dallas until I was dragged here and my whole life changed, I changed. I became whole. I became part of family. You became everything to me. I love you and I can't wait to get this over with and get you alone," Reid finished. He wanted to end before he started rambling about love eternal and embarrassing himself. Luke smiled brightly and mouthed a very faint "I love you", to which Reid winked in response.

"Reid, the first time I met you…I, well, I wanted to punch you," the guests laughed out right. Many of them had witnessed the beginnings of their relationship and could attest to that. "No, seriously. When we first met you were rude, and cold, and _rude_ , but more time I spent with you, more I got to see the real you. Just how beautiful your heart is and how _amazing_ you are. I fell in love with you, all of you. Your sense of humor, your passion for helping people, your intelligence, your bottomless love of food, and your fragile soul. I think I have loved you since that first day we met. I just had to get past your crusty outer layer. Thinking back on how we got here, I would not have had it any other way. I am not saying that everything that will happen in our lives together will be easy, but I cannot wait to take this journey with you. You are my partner, my best-friend, and my heart. I love you Reid and thank you for having the patience to get this point," Luke concluded and fought to hold off any tears that wanted to come to the surface. He wanted to keep it together at least until after they exchanged rings.

"Now that Luke and Reid have expressed their love for each other in their solemn vows. May we have the rings?" The minister asked. Katie and Casey stepped up; handing them to their respective groom. Luke and Reid each breathed a slight sigh once they felt the cool metal in their hands; one step closer and one step away from being married. "Do you Luciano Eduardo Snyder take Reid Matthew Oliver to be your lawfully wedded husband from this day forward?"

"I do," he answered and a small tear ran down his cheek. Reid reached up and lightly brushed it away.

"Do you Reid Matthew Oliver take Luciano Eduardo Snyder to be your lawfully wedded husband from his day forward?" Reid paused a moment, as if he was weighing his options. Luke's eyebrows rose and he squeezed Reid's hand tighter. Reid winced.

"Watch the hands," he teased and Luke gave him his "Grimaldi Stare". "Hell yes!" He answered quickly. Luke gave a glare that said, 'You wait until I get you home'. Reid answered with one of his own that said 'I can't wait!'

"With the exchanging of rings and vows and with the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss your spouse," the minister concluded the ceremony. Luke heard Reid let out an excited laugh and then felt his husband grab him to pull him into a kiss. Reid cupped Luke's face in his hands and lightly nipped on Luke's bottom lip. Luke latched into Reid's hips and kissed him right back. They were married and totally lost in the moment.

It was their wedding party that broke it all up. Katie grabbed onto her best friend and Casey on to his and they pulled them apart. The assembled family and friends clapped and laughed as the two men staggered back slightly.

"May I now present to you Reid and Luke Oliver!" The minister had to yell to be heard above the cheering. Luke blushed at all the attention that was on them and that kiss didn't help either. Luke could not help but think that this was a perfect moment.

Little did he know, Reid was thinking the exact same thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, whatta think?  
> I hope you enjoyed it!  
> Next time on Time to Say Goodbye - The End.  
> Stay Tuned!


	46. Epilogue (Nuke)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the last chapter for the Nuke fans out there!  
> We've come to the end!  
> Thank you all so much for coming back each time.  
> Enjoy!

Noah groaned as he leaned back in his desk chair. The old chair groaned back in response. He threw his red pen on top of his pile of scripts and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. He looked at the old grandfather clock that sat across from his desk and saw it was nearly midnight. He had been at this for nearly four hours and needed a break. He stood up and stretched his tired body. He had two more weeks before his meeting in New York about his next movie and he had to get all of his notes done. He closed the door as he left and looked up the hall at the slightly ajar bedroom door. Light was just barely peeking through and casting a long beam on the old hard floor in the hall.

Stepping lightly, he walked down the hall and softly pushed the door open the rest of the way. He leaned against the door frame and smiled at the sight in front of him. There, curled up asleep on his son's red race car bed, was his eight year old daughter Charlie, short of Charlene, his six year old son Matthew, who always went by Matty, and his husband Luke. Luke was lying in the middle with a child on each side. Matty hadn't been feeling well and begged Luke to read him a story. Not to be left out, Charlie crawled in with her boys.

He moved closer to the bed and slowly pulled the still open copy of 'Peter Pan' from Luke's loose grip. His husband stirred slightly, but stayed asleep. Noah slid the bookmark inside and set the book on the nightstand. Noah carefully reached under and scooped Charlie into his arms. He carried her across the hall and softly tucked her into her pink princess bed. She fussed a little but then buried her head deeper into her pillow. Noah brushed her blonde hair back and lightly kissed her forehead. After flipping on her nightlight, Noah pulled the door nearly shut. He went back to Matty's room and pulled the blanket over both of them. They were so tangled in each other; he couldn't move one without waking the other. He turned off the bedside lamp, turned on Matty's nightlight and softly stepped out of the room. An overwhelming sense of peace washed over him as he stood in the middle of the hallway between his son and daughter's rooms. His entire family was within ten feet of him and they were healthy and happy. There was nothing else he could ask for.

* * *

Suddenly not feeling very tired, Noah padded downstairs and into the kitchen. He stood at the kitchen island and looked around his home. The old farm house had changed quite a bit since Luke and Noah bought it from Holden ten years ago. There were a lot of memories in this old place. He fell in love with Luke here. The first time they said 'I love you' was here. Noah even proposed to Luke here. It only made sense that they start their lives here. It had actually been his idea to more back to Oakdale. He remembered telling Luke that no matter where he lived, this was always home. They had both lived in other places, but only when they were in Oakdale, at the farm, did they feel at home.

Noah grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and walked into the TV room, formerly known as the parlor. It had changed quite a bit since Emma lived here. The antique furniture had been replaced with big comfy sofas, perfect for watching movies or baseball games. The small 20 inch TV was swapped out for a 52 inch HD TV with a Blu-ray Player and surround sound. The action movie marathons that Luke and Charlie loved to throw have been known to rattle the kitchen windows. She definitely took after Luke in the movie department.

Noah flopped down onto the couch and turned on the TV. He didn't even know what he was looking for as he channel surfed. He was normally bored with regular TV and tonight was no different. He was about to give up all together when he had the sudden urge to watch a particular old movie. He walked across the room and opened the DVD cabinet. There, in the top left corner, was the movie he was thinking about. He slipped the case from its resting place and put the DVD in the player. Holding the remote in his hand, he sat back down on the couch. He hit play on the remote and the screen glowed to life.

* * *

He remembered putting it together. Sometimes there were perks to being married to a director. It was a sort of wedding present/surprise for Luke and he was indeed surprised that Noah even had all that footage. The video was in two parts; the first being a music video of sorts. The song was one of Luke's guilty pleasure songs. It was one of those songs that you never admit to liking, but can't seem to turn it off when it plays. It was "As Love is My Witness" by Westlife. It was incredibly sappy, but Luke loved it, so Noah had to include it.

The first scene started and Noah laughed out right. They looked so young. It was Luke and Maddie hunched over a desk working on their intern project. Maddie shot up, grabbed the camera from Noah's hands and turned it on its operator. Noah shyly waved and begged for the camera back. Luke entered the frame and wrapped his arm around Noah's shoulder. They talked into the camera and Noah remembered thinking how good Luke smelled. But what was Luke thinking with that hair back then? The next scene was Noah and Luke sitting close together editing a scene for Invisible Girl. Luke was looking at Noah's face while Noah was looking at laptop. Luke had a look of quiet wonderment on his face. Noah wondered how he could have been so blind to how Luke felt about him all those years ago.

The next clip was one of Noah's favorites. It was the two of them playing with kids at the farm next to pond. Seeing Luke laughing at something Ethan and Natalie were doing. Noah handed the camera off to Faith and snuck up behind Luke. He grabbed the blonde and dove off the edge of the dock with him. Luke thrashed around fully clothed and jumped at Noah, dunking him under the water. As Noah went under the water, he grabbed Luke around the waist and pulled him under as well. The next clip was of them getting dressed for Halloween. Luke had too much fun with that stupid fake sword and Noah had secretly wished that he'd dressed more like Johnny Depp. That was until he and Luke made up in the parlor later that night. Noah still flushed when he thought about that night. He adjusted his briefs hoping to alleviate the growing pressure. Just thinking about that night got him going.

There were clips of them at birthdays, holidays and random parties. A few weeks before the wedding, Noah had gotten in touch with all of their friends and Luke's relatives and asked for anything video of them together. He showed it during their reception, it was Noah's gift to Luke. They were sitting at the head table and Luke turned to face Noah with tears in his eyes. He asked him where he got all that footage. Noah just smiled at him and told him, "I saved everything. I didn't want to forget anything."

Noah had even edited in pictures of the two men at different ages in their lives; Luke playing at the pond when he was six; Noah camping with his cousins when he was eight; matching Halloween snapshots taken when each man was three years old and they both dressed as clowns, a scary coincidence that always made them laugh. The music started to fade and the last picture came on the screen. Luke and Noah's engagement picture; Luke sitting on a white sofa with Noah sitting between Luke's feet on the floor. Luke's hands were lightly resting on Noah's shoulders. Noah let out a deep sigh when the second part of the video started.

Their actual wedding.

* * *

Luke wanted to be very traditional and they spent their last night as bachelors apart. The music started, Canon in D, everyone stood and Noah walked down the aisle. He stood at the alter, set up in large tent next to the pond, and waited for Luke. Noah remembered how breathless he felt when he saw Luke walking towards him. He was wearing a white suit with a chocolate dress shirt underneath. He went sans tie, as always, and the slight tan he had made it look like was glowing. Noah went a little more conservative with a dark blue suit with a white dress shirt and sliver tie. Luke finally got to the alter and took Noah's hands in his; both men were shaking a bit.

Noah thought of the very first time he kissed Luke Synder, looking into those dark chocolate eyes and getting lost there. He remembered drowning in their beauty, intelligence, and something else which just made him capture his lips and Luke, beautiful Luke responding to him until his damn phone rang. He saw himself smile shyly at Luke and Luke just gripped his hand a little bit tighter, bashfully smiling back at him with such love and devotion that Noah could feel tears starting to well up in his eyes. He wiped them away and continued to watch as their friends and family sat down on either side of them all looking so happy for them both. They were truly blessed indeed.

Noah remembered, in that moment, the heartache when he pushed Luke away, straight into Dr. Oliver arms and how much it hurt to see him with the redhead. But he had let him go, even thought it broke his heart, but thank god, thank god Luke had returned to him. Noah knew he was truly blessed, as he thought about that day in the airport, seeing Reid and Luke laughing and joking with one another. He knew he had to set him free and it damned near killed him, but he did it, he did it because he loved Luke so much. Who knew a few years later, they would end up reuniting at the Farm after Emma's funeral? Certainly not him. Yeah this was the REAL THING. He remembered what he had said to Luke the day he had tricked him to the apartment they had once shared, one they had made love so many times in, and what he had said to Luke.

* * *

_ "No, it's true. Took me a long time to admit it, but it's true. I never once had to think about it. Your feelings were always out there; on your sleeve for everyone to see. I was the one who was always holding back. So here we go; big romantic gesture. I love you. I have always loved you. From the first  **second** I saw you, you were it for me. I just didn't know it. You are the one thing I have always wanted, even before I knew it. When you left Oakdale, I thought my heart was just going to shatter into a million pieces and it did. I was angry for a long time, but not at you. I was mad at myself for being too selfish to forgive you and let you be there for me. I saw you that day, that day you and Oliver left Oakdale. You were at the airport and you looked so happy. I let you walk away. I was scared to think about what "us" meant. I thought us meant that there was no "me" anymore, but I was  **so** wrong, because  **us** ,  **together** , is so much bigger and more important than just me. I asked you here hoping that we could try to be  **us** again, because I have lived far too many years without you and I cannot imagine the rest of my life without you in. Will you, give me, give us another chance?" _

* * *

Thank God Luke had given them another chance as they took things slow and he laughed as he remember the first visit to Boston, them getting kicked out the taxi for making-out and getting soaked in the rain. Then stripping off and them finding that their bodies took over remembering the love they shared and it flowed between them. Noah shifted his pants again as he grew hard thinking about their bedroom antics that day, well entire weekend would more accurate. Well they did have 6 years of lost time to make up for!

'Thank god our love was so strong. Strong enough to make it through the years,' Noah thought as he watched all the family and friends surrounding them, seeing Lily shedding a few tears sitting next to Holden and Luke's siblings. Thinking back to the heartwarming scene he witnessed upstairs, yeah they faced whatever had come after their marriage together as one, both carving out careers, but both longing for a family of their own. They had faced it all together and now were about to be joined as one.

Love truly was their witness, getting them through the heartache of Noah's blindness, and Dr. Reid Oliver, who remained good friends with Luke to this day. Reid had finally found peace, was happy with his new partner, and having a very happy life of his own with two wonderful children of his own. Noah couldn't have been any happier as he looked around at everyone in attendance and the service started.

"Dearly Beloved" said the Minister after the music stopped and everyone quieted down. "We are gathered today to join Noah and Luke into holy matrimony. Love is a friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad. It settles for less than perfection, and makes allowances for human weakness. Love is content with the present. It hopes for the future and it doesn't brood over the past. It's the day-in and day-out chronicle of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories, and working toward common goals. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it is not enough, so search for it, ask God for it, and share it!

"Luke and Noah decided to recite their own vows," the minister and Luke went first.

"Noah, I love you. I have loved you through all the good times and even more through the bad ones. I wrote a poem for you and I'll try to get through it.

**" _This day I married my best friend, the one I laugh with as we share life's wondrous zest,  
as we find new enjoyments and experience all that's best. _**

**_The one I live for because the world seems brighter as our happy times are better and our burdens feel much lighter._ **

**_The one I love with every fiber of my soul. We used to feel vaguely incomplete, now together we are whole._ **

"Noah, I have lived with a lifetime of regrets and I cannot wait to push my biggest one away and spend the rest of my life with you."

Noah took in a shaky breath, swearing to himself that he was not going to cry. He squeezed Luke hands tighter and stilled himself for his vows.

"Luke you know that I am not very good expressing my feelings and I tried, I really did try to think of something that could convey everything I wanted to say. If I could express how important you are to me, we would be here days. I hate to say it, but I found a poem that someone else wrote that says everything I want you to know," Noah reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper. He cleared his throat and looked directly into Luke's eyes as he started.

_**"Today I married my best friend,** _   
_**Our bond complete, it hath no end,** _   
_**We share one soul, we share one heart,** _   
_**A perfect time - a perfect start.** _   
_**With these rings we share together,** _   
_**Love so close to last forever,** _   
_**This special day - two special hearts,** _   
_**Let nothing keep this love apart."** _

"I love you Luke. I have loved you since I was 18 and I will love you for the rest of my life," a tear fell down Luke's cheek and Noah reached up to brush it away.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Asked a voice behind Noah. He looked over his shoulder and saw Luke standing in the doorway. His hair was sticking up and his arms were crossed tight against his chest; trying to warm himself. Luke could never understand how Noah was hot all the time; leaving the house slightly chilly at all times. To ask Noah he would insist that Luke was always cold. It was an argument that they abandoned many years ago.

"I'm just watching a movie," Noah said over his shoulder as Luke walked closer. He leaned forward and ran his hands over Noah shoulders, rubbing them lightly. He slid his hands down Noah's chest; clasping his hands together just over Noah's heart. He lightly kissed Noah's cheek and finally focused on the TV.

"You're watching our wedding?" Luke asked. He looked back to the screen and watched bits of their reception set to music. People giving the happy couple good wishes were dispersed every so often.

"It's my favorite movie," Noah said plainly. He winced as he thought about what he just said.

"Did you really just say that?"

"Too cheesy for ya'?"

"Yeah just a little," Luke gave him a kiss on his temple and pulled away to return upstairs. Noah looked back at TV and saw that their first dance was just starting. He turned to look over his shoulder and watched his husband start up the stairs.

"Luke wait," he called out and hopped over the back the couch. He stopped in front of the blonde and smiled at his still sleepy look. He took Luke's hands in his hands, rubbing his thumb across the back of his husband's hands. "Dance with me?"

"What?" Luke couldn't hold back the laugh that came out.

"Come on," he tugged slightly on Luke's hands, urging him back towards the living room. "Dance with me?"

Luke looked at his husband and marveled at how adorable he still was after nearly 15 years. He still had that flirty twinkle in his bright blue eyes. The "awe-shucks" grin that just melted Luke's heart. He could never stay mad at Noah when he flashed that smile. Luke told Noah once that he regretted all the time that they wasted being apart, but Noah always rushed to reassure him. He would tell Luke that they weren't ready for each other before. They needed that time apart. They grew into each other and Noah knew that if they ever got back together, then it would stick.

"You are such a nerd, but you're _my_ nerd. Yes, I'll dance with you."

Noah took Luke other hand and walked backwards deeper into the room as "Make You Feel My Love" by Adele filled the air. Luke looked over Noah's shoulder and saw the two of them have their first dance. Noah was only looking at Luke. They stopped in the middle of the TV room and Noah wrapped his arm around Luke's back, pulling them together. Luke laced his fingers through Noah's and rested his other hand at the nape of Noah's neck. They were chest to chest and slowly rocked back and forth to the music. Luke rested his chin on Noah's shoulder and the brunette could feel soft breaths against his cheek. Luke's fingers lightly played at the hair at Noah neck; Noah could feel goose bumps run up his back.

Feeling this amazing man in his arms was always the best place for Noah. Before he met Luke, Noah would say that watching a classic film was where he felt the most at peace, but not anymore. He had divided his life into two categories; before and after Luke. Before meeting Luke, Noah was not comfortable anymore or doing anything. He was afraid to be himself. Frankly, he wasn't sure that he even knew who the real Noah was. A movie geek afraid of his dad and never really craved anything. But meeting Luke that June 1st all those years ago, that was when the real Noah woke up. He took the long path to get where he was and there was no way that he would give this up for anything.

He had everything that he ever wanted. His dream job, a stable home, an amazing man who he loved and who loved him back, and two beautiful, crazy kids. He had a family. The one thing that he wanted more than anything else and it would not have happened if it wasn't for the man he was holding at this very moment.

Noah pulled slightly and looked at his husband. He was little older, but Luke Snyder-Mayer still had it. He stopped growing out his hair, insisting that it showed his greys, which always led to Noah to insist that Luke was not going grey. Deep down Noah knew that Luke just wanted to hear the denial. Luke's eyes were still the warmest shade of brown he had ever seen and lit up whenever he laughed. In the nine years since they got married, they had had their up and downs, but Noah would not change it for anything the world.

"I love you," he said without even realizing it. Luke gave him one of his trademark easy smiles and answered him right back.

"I love you too. So much."

Noah wrapped his arms around Luke back and clasped his fingers together. Luke draped his arms across Noah's shoulders and just looked at him. He was getting grey around his ears and his laugh lines were little more pronounced, but he was still the hottest guy Luke had ever met. As if they could read the other's mind, they came together for a soft kiss. Noah's entire body relaxed as he felt Luke lightly lick across his lips. Luke's heart melted when he felt Noah pull him tighter to his body. This was what he wanted since he first met Noah.

Luke thought back to something that he told Aaron when his older bother was having relationship troubles while dating Ali. _'I wish I had someone who would scream and run away, who loved me enough to give a damn what I thought about them. You know I would just, I would love to have someone care for me that much.'_ Luke had no idea when he said those words to his half-brother that he would be referring to Noah. On paper or in the whole scheme of things, Noah and him should have never worked out. Who meets their soul mate when they're 18; break up two and half years later and then meet up again six years after that? No, he and Noah should have never worked out, but they did. Beyond all odds, they did. And neither one was going anywhere.

Except maybe to bed.

The song ended and Noah decided to take this to their bedroom. In one swift move he stepped back and scooped Luke up onto his shoulder in a fireman's carry. Luke groaned in surprise and laughed as he carried him up the stairs. They made sure they were quiet as they crossed the threshold of their room and shut the door.

They may have taken eight years to get to where they were ready for each other, but now that they were here…nothing would get in their way ever again.

 _I'd go hungry_  
I'd go black and blue  
I'd go crawling  
Down the avenue  
No, there's nothing  
That I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, how'd I do?  
> Thanks to everyone that stuck with me through to the end. I know many of you Nuke fans were hesitant to keep reading the middle, but to those who are reading this chapter, thank you. Thank you for trusting that I would write something that you could read to the end.  
> I have a couple stories in the works and I hope to see you guys again!  
> Stay Tuned!


	47. Epilogue (Lure)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is! The last chapter for the Lure Fans!  
> I think I gave the fans everything that they asked for.
> 
> Enjoy!

"Reid! She's getting sick again!"

"I'm rinsing out the towel right now! Make sure you keep her on the tile!" Reid answered back from the bathroom.

"UGH! She got me!" Reid heard Luke yell and he let out a long sigh before he trudged back to his husband.

"I'm coming back!"

Reid ran back into the laundry room with the damp towel and made sure he opened the window first. The room was hot and had a very distinct smell. Luke was sitting on the floor and looked as tired as he felt.

This was going to be a long night.

About an hour later Reid sat back on the couch in their living room. He dropped his head back and rested deeply against the couch. He couldn't remember the last time he was this exhausted. As his eyes started to slip closed, Luke flopped down at the other end and put his feet in Reid's lap. The redhead instinctively started to rub at Luke's ankle, just under the cuff of his jeans. They had been cleaning up after their new six month old all night. They both needed a shower and a thorough disinfecting.

"What on earth possessed you to feed her a part of your meatball hoagie?" Luke asked exhausted. He could barely lift his head.

"How was I supposed to know that she would get sick?" Reid asked in response.

"Babe, you don't feed a puppy anything that a person would eat! Especially something that _**you**_ would eat."

"They should put a label on her collar. You know, care instructions."

"You better pray that she's better before Emma comes home from camp on Sunday." Luke lightly pushed against Reid's side to keep him awake to finish their conversation.

"The vet said that she would be fine. My God, in all of Emma's eight years, I don't think she ever puked that much."

"I don't know, I seem to remember a pretty bad Thanksgiving when she was three."

"That, that was your fault. You fed her Hubbard squash. I still don't know that the hell a Hubbard squash is," Reid defended himself.

"Whatever," Luke waved him off. "I'm too tired to argue."

"I agree. Let's go bed," Reid said, but didn't move. He wasn't sure if he could.

"I need to shower first. I am not going to bed with dog puke on me."

"All right. I'll prop you up if you prop me up. We'll share and save time," Reid forced his body to move forward, Luke's feet slid off his lap.

"Dubious plan at best. You just want to see me naked," Luke joked with a wiggle of his eyebrow.

"Baby, as much as I…," Reid yawned as if to prove a point, "I enjoy seeing you in your birthday suit, I too, am too tired to act on it,"

Reid pulled himself to his feet and extended a hand to his husband. Luke slipped his hand into Reid's and allowed his tired body to be pulled to his equally tired feet. They trudged upstairs and into the bathroom. They shared a quick shower with zero funny business and went to bed.

* * *

Reid felt sore and not in the good fun-with-Luke way. His body slowly edged him away from sleep no matter how much he just wanted to stay asleep. His eyes opened on their own volition, he would rather they had stayed shut. He could see that it was still dark out. He looked over his shoulder at his alarm clock and it read 4:43 am. His alarm wasn't set to go off for about 90 minutes, but he wasn't going to get back to sleep. He reached back and turned it off. Rolling back onto his side, he pulled Luke tighter against his chest. Luke grumbled softly, but remained asleep. Reid loved this time of day. Lying in bed with Luke, smelling his husband's sleep warm skin. Reid placed a soft kiss behind Luke's ear and carefully slid out of bed. He made sure that the blankets covered Luke before his left the room. No matter what time of year, Luke was always cold at night. He quietly slipped down the hall and downstairs.

The house was quiet so Reid could hear the birds as they started to chirp outside, signaling the rising sun. He grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen and went into the laundry room. After the puppy had fallen asleep wrapped in an old blanket, they decided to let it sleep. As he opened the door, he found the small shnoodle puppy lightly chewing on her blanket. He crouched down and softly scooped up the mewling puppy. The caramel colored dog started to nibble on his finger as they walked into the living room. He sat down on the couch and set the puppy in his lap. She curled onto her side and exposed her tummy. Reid took the hint and started to rub it. The motion was actually quite soothing, for man and beast.

He couldn't help but laugh at this cute little creature and he knew that Emma was going to love her forever. Emma. Reid was surprised how his life had changed since they had her. He remembered those fateful few weeks nearly nine years ago. Reid remembered the last conversation they had when they were trying to decide if they should have kids. They had been going back and forth for weeks.

* * *

"Luke, I've never wanted to have kids."

"But you are amazing with them. Jacob, Natalie, Ethan, and even Faith. How can you not want kids?"

"After your childhood, how could you?" As soon as he said it, he wanted to take it back. He saw sadness rush into Luke's eyes. "Luke."

"I'm going to bed," Luke said sadly and went up to their bedroom. Reid watched Luke's back as he went up the stairs and felt pain course through. Luke always wore his emotions on his face and Reid felt like a failure when he saw pain or regret on his husband's face.

Reid walked around the house, shutting off lights and locking up. He slowly walked towards their bedroom, dreading entering it. He felt like a man going to his own execution. He stepped through their bedroom door and Luke was lying on his side, facing away from him. Reid felt even worse. He stripped out of his clothes so he was only clad in his boxer briefs, slipped on his Harvard Medical School t-shirt, and slid into bed. He lay on his back and stared at Luke's back for a few minutes. He finally found his voice.

"Luke?"

"Is that how you really feel?" Luke asked in a flat, monotone voice. Reid didn't know what he was asking about. Is that how he felt about kids or if he saw Luke's childhood that way?

"I, ah," he started, not sure what he was going to say. Luke cut him off before he could go any further.

"It's fine. You just answered me. Goodnight," Luke said and didn't turn around to face his husband. Reid felt his stomach tighten and soon he heard Luke's breaths even out. Luke may have gone to sleep, but Reid was awake for quite a few more hours. He hated to deny Luke anything and how that denial made Luke feel, but this was something he just couldn't give in on. He loved Jacob as well as Luke's siblings, even Faith, but he just didn't have it in him to be a parent. He wasn't strong enough.

He knew that Luke was strong enough for the both of them, but that would be unfair. To have a child and make Luke raise it all alone. Reid had seen it enough times with other doctors. Their spouses always did the work of both of them. He loved Luke too much to make him do that. He worried that Luke would grow to resent him. Blame him for not being around more or being unable to parent as well as Luke could. Luke would be an amazing dad, of that he had no doubt. But could Reid be a father? He only remembered pieces of his dad and his uncle Angus was not a good role model in any shape, way, or form. He could barely take of himself, how could he be a dad?

* * *

The next few weeks, Luke didn't bring up having a child. They had fallen back into their old routines, but something wasn't quite the same. Luke wasn't quite the same. He was much more reserved, almost withdrawn. As if he was holding something back. He still smiled, they still talked, and made love, but it wasn't like it normally was. Reid could see a sadness in his eyes, and it hurt him to see it. And it hurt even worse to know that he caused it. Reid did the best thing, the only thing he could think of…he went to talk to Katie.

She pulled open her front door and greeted Reid with a huge hug. She was nearly to term with her and Chris' first child. So just walking from the couch to the door was an ordeal. She and Chris lost their first pregnancy thirteen weeks in, just two weeks after Luke and Reid had moved back to Oakdale. After she told them that she was pregnant again, she made them promise to get married before she started really showing. She didn't want to look huge in their weeding photos. She wanted to remember how much fun she had and not how much pain she had been in during the service or how fat she looked in her dress. The boys were more than happy to oblige.

He helped her back to the sofa and she pulled him to sit right beside her.

"I am so glad to see you! I can actually have an adult conversation for once!"

"What? Oh, wait a minute, you're married to Doogie, need not say anymore."

"Shut up! With work and me being exhausted all the time, we don't talk much past, 'How was your day?' Besides there are things that we talk about that I don't talk about with Chris."

"Like what?" He asked as he pulled Katie's swollen feet into his lap and began to massage them. Katie groaned and her head dropped back onto the arm of the couch.

"Like what's going on with you and Luke?"

"Did ah, did he tell you?"

"He didn't have to. I can read both of you pretty well after all these years. He looked like someone had stolen his best friend," Reid blanched slightly as her choice of words. As corny as it sounded, they had always called each other "Best Friends". "He's been coming over here every day for the last few weeks."

"He what?"

"Yeah. He brings me lunch and we watch some Soaps. Sometimes he plays with Jacob. Well, most days he does that," Katie looked up when Reid's hands stopped and saw that he was suddenly pale. "Hey? What's going on?"

"Luke wants to have kids."

"What else is new?" She joked and then saw a sheepish look on Reid's face. "Wait…you don't?"

"No," he answered, not quite as emphatically as he had in the past.

"This is gonna be a problem. That kid was born to be a dad,"

"You're not helping!" Reid whined, he hated it when he whined.

"Like you didn't know that! Don't act surprised doc!"

"It's just…our life is so good,"

"And you think kids will ruin it?"

"No, I will!" Reid blurted out. Katie had a look of pity that Reid hated to see come him way. Katie sat up and moved closer to Reid, which in her condition was not easy. She took his hands in hers and Reid turned to face her.

"You're probably right."

"Oh, gee thanks!"

"Reid, I'm serious. You don't think that I don't feel the same way? I do. Every. Single. Day," she said and tightened her hold on his hands. "I'm terrified that I'm gonna make the wrong choice and screw up Jacob for life or make him hate me. But you know what? Hearing him tell me that he loves me, more than makes up for it."

"I'm just scared that Luke will have to be everything and he'll grow to resent me and our marriage. I don't know what I'd do without him."

"I know that Luke feels the same way about you. But what if Luke gives up on having kids, don't you think he'll resent that too?" Reid stood up quick and stepped away from the couch. He was angry for really no reason. She wasn't stating anything that he didn't already know to be true.

"So, I'm just supposed to what? Give in so he'll feel better," his hands went to his hips.

"Now you know that I don't mean that."

Reid was about to say something when Katie grabbed her stomach and doubled over.

"AHHHHHH!"

"What?"

"My water just broke!"

"Ok. Ok. Give me your hand. I'll take you in and call Chris," Reid pulled Katie to her feet and helped her to the door. He was about to make a remark about getting a new couch, but decided to keep that one to himself.

* * *

Reid got her admitted, called Chris, and texted Luke to tell him that Katie was in labor. The news quickly spread and the waiting room was full of Hugheses, Snyders, and whoever else needed to be included. Reid looked through the sea of people and finally saw Luke trying to calm a terrified Henry. He managed to squeeze through and tap Luke on the shoulder. The blonde turned to face him and softly smiled at his husband. Reid was glad for small favors.

"Thanks for texting me."

"I know you'd want to be here. And Katie would want you here," Reid told him and gave his husband a once over. He didn't look well. He had faint circles under his eyes and his color was paler than normal. "Are you ok? You look tired," he tried to hide a tinge of worry in his voice. He lightly brushed Luke's arm and took a step closer.

"I am a little, but I'm fine."

"Look, I need to talk to you," Reid said and then an anxious Chris almost plowed into the both of them.

"Luke. There you are. Katie is asking for you."

"Oh. Ok. Can we talk later?" Luke asked, hoping that Reid wouldn't feel put out.

"Ah, yeah. Why don't you go talk to Katie and we can meet up later, ok?"

"Yeah," Luke gave Reid a kiss on the cheek and was quickly ushered through the throngs of people and into Katie's birthing suite. Reid breathed a slow sigh and walked in the direction of his office. He had a cache of secret snacks in his bottom right drawer and had the sudden need for some sugar. Chocolate, definitely chocolate.

* * *

Luke slipped into Katie's room and waited as the nurses hooked up her monitors and helped her get comfortable. Luke kept replaying Reid's words in his head. 'I need to talk to you'. What could Reid mean by that? Luke was running two possible scenarios; best case and worst case. Best case – Reid reconsidered and wants to have kids. Worst case – he's cutting his losses and wants a divorce. Luke replayed the tone and inflection of Reid's voice trying to decipher what he wanted to talk about. He loved Reid and didn't want to split up. How could he live without him? But he had been wanting to be a father for most of his life, how could he live without that?

"Luke?"

Luke was pulled from his thoughts by Katie's voice. She looked so beautiful even in a terrible hospital gown, but Katie looked beautiful in anything. He sat down next to her and took her hand just as a contraction hit. She winced and tightened the hold on the younger blonde's hand. Luke went with is and tried to calm her with reassurances and soothing tones; watching the monitor that showed the ebb and flow of her contractions.

"I've got ya. Ok, deep breaths, you're all right. Doing just fine, almost there. And done."

Katie's grip loosened and she let out a few deep breaths. She had almost forgotten how painful labor was. She was suddenly remembering with a blinding clarity.

"They're only going to get worse," she told him.

"Well, you'll get drugs soon and then it'll be a piece of cake," he teased and she gave his shoulder a soft whack.

"Reid came to see me today," talk about not beating around the bush.

"Yeah, he texted me about you going into labor."

"He told me about the problems you two have been having."

"Am I being unfair?" He had been wondering that and wanting someone to ask for weeks.

"No sweetie. This is part of marriage. Telling your partner what you need or want and making it work. You guys will figure it out."

"I hope so, because I don't think that I could live without him."

"Huh. Who would have guessed?" Katie asked with a smirk playing her face.

"What?" Luke asked trying to hide his own smile.

"Dr. Pain-in-the-ass and the Bane of his existence can't live without each other," she remarked and the two made idle chit-chat until another contraction hit about fifteen minutes later.

* * *

Reid looked at his watch and saw that he hadn't seen Luke yet. It had been nearly two hours since he'd last talked to him. He hoped that Luke wasn't avoiding him. He decided to go check on Katie and see if Luke was able to talk to him now. The hallway was pretty clear by now; only the random nurse or patient walking the hall. Figuring the mob of visitors had moved to one of the waiting rooms, he knocked before entering.

Katie was breathing through another contraction and Chris was by her side. She had been in labor for over two hours and she still looked TV ready. Her contraction ended and she fell back onto her pillows. She opened her eyes and saw Reid at the foot of her bed. He was wearing his white lab coat and was nervously tapping his left hand against his thigh.

"Hey roomie!" Katie teased. That hadn't lived together for nearly ten years. The nickname still made him laugh.

"How are you?" He asked.

"About 3 cm! I can't have any drugs until I'm at least 6!"

"It's for your health and the baby's," Chris assured her.

"Sadist doctors! They just like to see patients in agony!" Both doctors in the room couldn't help but laugh at her angry outburst.

"Where's Luke?" Reid asked.

"I fell asleep earlier and he was gone when I woke up."

"Yeah, he was gone when I got here about an hour ago," Chris added. _'He is ignoring me!'_ Reid thought to himself. Reid pulled out his cell, no messages. He decided to call Luke and they could meet for lunch. He would try to reel his anger in until he heard Luke's reason for not coming up to talk to him. Reid hit send and he heard a faint music playing from the other side of the bathroom door. The music ended and his call went to voicemail. Reid hung up and dialed again. The same tone could be heard through the bathroom door. He recognized it; it was Luke's ringtone.

"LUKE!" Reid yelled through the door. He slammed his fist against the heavy door and tried the handle. "It's locked! Chris, help me!"

Chris jumped to his feet and the two men attempted to force the door open. Katie hit the emergency call button and prayed that help wasn't too far away. Just as a doctor and a nurse came into the room, Chris and Reid forced the door open.

The water was running in the sink and Luke was lying on the floor on his side. He was slightly curled up with his hands clutching his middle. Reid was on auto-pilot. He wasn't even sure what he was saying. He and Chris carefully rolled Luke onto his back and saw the blood. Luke had a large cut above his right eyebrow and blood had pooled around him where he had fallen. Reid wasn't sure if he hit head when he collapsed or hitting his head knocked him out. Either way, he had been unconscious and alone for over an hour.

Luke was put on a back board and quickly moved across the hall. Chris had to forcefully shove Reid out into the hall. There was no way he'd be able to help Luke in his present state. He ran his hand through his hair and felt cold rush from his heart down his arms to his fingertips. It felt like his worst nightmare was coming true, again. Luke was sick or hurt and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. Being a doctor, he never really believed in any kind of divine creator, but he suddenly prayed to whoever could hear him; "Please. Please, let him be all right. I need him."

News that Luke had been admitted traveled quickly through the well-wishers that had come together for Katie's birth. Soon Casey, Ali, Holden and Lily sat with Reid as he waited to get news of Luke's condition. They had been moved to a waiting room just down the hall from Luke's exam room. Reid wanted to abuse his hospital privileges and plow into Luke's room, but he knew that he would just be a distraction for the people trying to help Luke. About thirty minutes later, Chris came into the waiting room. Reid was in front of him in two strides.

"What's going on with my husband?" Reid demanded, trying to control the urgency in his voice.

"Well, he has a kidney infection. He passed out and hit his head."

"Is his going to be all right? What do his scans say?" Reid spoke over everyone else.

"Reid, please," Lily said softly, placing her hand on his arm.

"We have him on the standard antibiotics panel and a stronger dose of his transplant meds. He'll have a hell of headache and be on ordered bed rest until he gets his strength back. But I think he'll be fine."

Reid felt like the floor just fell out from under him. He dropped his head and tried to calm his breathing. Breathing. He was finally able to really breathe since he heard Luke's ringtone play through that bathroom door. After Lily and Holden spoke to Luke, Reid ducked inside Luke's room. He was asleep and sounds from the monitors seemed to fill the room. He lightly stepped across the room and slipped into the chair next to the bed. He softly laced his fingers through Luke's and just listened to him breathe. He closed his eyes and silently thanked whoever had heard his previous prayers. He never wanted to go through that again.

* * *

Luke remained in the hospital for another week; catching up on his rest and working the infection out of his system. He had a lot of visits from Casey, his parents, the kids, and of course, Katie with her new baby daughter Nancy Maureen Hughes. Reid had a watchful eye on Luke since he woke up two days after they found him. It ate at his gut that Luke had been alone when it happened. He didn't want to think about what could have happened if he hadn't gone to look for him.

Reid was finally able to take Luke home and doted on him for the next two days until Luke called him on it.

"Reid, I can take care of myself," Luke said from his place on the couch. Reid made sure that he had the remote, something to drink, the book he was currently reading as well as some blankets and pillows.

"If you had been, then you wouldn't have gotten into this mess in the first place," Reid snapped and watched Luke face drop. He regretted that he even thought the words, let alone say them out loud. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, I...."

"No, it's fine," Luke cut him off. "You're right. I didn't take care of myself and I'm sorry that I worried you like that,"

"Promise me that you'll never put your health at risk again," Reid said in a soft voice as he kneeled in front of Luke. Luke cupped Reid's face in his hands and felt his skin warm against his palms.

"I promise. Now, will you please stop hovering?" Luke asked with a slight smirk that made his eyes sparkle just a bit.

"We still need to talk," Reid said somberly.

"I was wondering when you would bring that up. I have to say that I was not looking forward to this," Luke leaned back into the couch and Reid moved to sit next to him. Luke had been dreading this. He knew that Reid was not going to leave him; after this last week, he knew that for sure. But he had a feeling that Reid was going to assert that kids were not part of his future. He just didn't want to hear the words out loud. Luke decided to beat him to the punch. "I was thinking, before my little hospital stay, that our life is pretty full. My siblings stay here quite often and when they have kids…,uh, Jacob and now Nancy will be over here all time too. We have one of the most stable relationships in town and you know that we'll be taking care of more kids than we know what to deal with. And I'm ok with that. Really."

Reid's heart broke. Luke had come to a compromise to settle their argument. He was willing to give up his hopes for children to make Reid happy. He was rationalizing that being surrogate parents to the generations to come would be enough for him. Reid knew that Luke was lying to himself and he couldn't listen to it.

"What if I said I changed my mind?" Reid asked and saw Luke do a double take, an actual double take. He almost laughed out loud.

"What? Wait. This is not about me being sick is it?" Luke asked almost is horror. He didn't want to guilt Reid into anything. Reid slipped his arm around Luke's shoulders and pulled the blonde's body into his.

"No, well, yes, but not really," Reid answered, sort of. He could see Luke was getting confused. "When you got sick, it was like I finally woke up. Yeah we have a great life and I honestly thought that having kids would ruin that. But then I realized that I want all of that. I want to experience everything with you. I want to have no regrets in my life and I know that living a part life would not be enough for you or us. I know you, you would give up on having kids to make me happy, even if it made you miserable. I'm sorry that I didn't see that. I feel so lucky to have you in my life and want to give you everything that you could ever want. I'm not just doing this for you. I want this too."

"Wow. I think that's the most I have ever heard you say at one time,"

"I've been thinking about this for quite a while," Reid admitted almost shyly.

"So, we are really going to do this?"

"Don't tell me that you're changing _**your mind**_ now?"

"Never," Luke answered and lightly brushed his lips against Reid's. The redhead's hand caressed Luke's cheek as he deepened their kiss. This kiss felt different than the ones from the last few weeks. This was his Luke coming back. He thanked God for that.

* * *

Reid could see the morning sun starting to creep through the living room windows. This was just like the morning Emma was born. Faith had carried her to full term and had been in labor for nearly fifteen hours. Reid had heard swearing before, hell, he had been in New York during Fleet Week once, but he had never heard some many curses come out of one person at one time. Reid knew that he would love her their child, but the second he held her, he was completely lost to her. He never knew that he could fall in love with someone that he just met; twice. The first was Luke and the second was their daughter. He remembered holding her in the early morning and looking at the sun rise over the horizon. He knew that his life would never be the same and could not wait to see what was to come.

* * *

Luke woke to a half-empty bed and no sign of his husband. After stretching tightly, he pulled himself out of bed and went in search of Reid. As he came down the stairs, he could just barely see Reid's mess of auburn curls over the top of the couch. Luke quietly came further into the living room and his voice caught in his chest. He pulled his lower lip between his teeth to hold back his smile. There, asleep, was his husband with Emma's new puppy resting over his heart. Both were lightly snoring and Luke could feel his heart swelling in his chest.

Luke reached down, softly scooped the little dog up, and carried her into the laundry room. He laid the puppy lightly down to avoid waking her and tip-toed away. He came back into the living room and saw Reid was still fast asleep. Luke, very carefully, crawled onto the couch, nestling himself between Reid and the back of the couch. Reid's body seemed to move on instinct to make room for the blonde. Luke rested his head on Reid's chest and listened to the soft beat of his heart. Reid's arm intuitively wrapped around his husband, bringing them flush against each other. Luke rubbed his cheek against Reid's chest, feeling contentment extend through his entire body. Luke felt his eyes get droopy as he begun to fall asleep. He could understand how the small dog was able to sleep here.

To Luke, this was the most peaceful place on Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, how'd I do?  
> I am so glad that this story is over and I am excited to start something new. I want to thank everyone for sticking with me till the end. It was a long time coming and thanks again for not abandoning this story.
> 
> I hope it was worth it.  
> Stay Tuned for More from Me!


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